Savage: Unapologetic

by Pamela Ann

  “I’m not going to pass this. I’d be crazy to.” For them to seek me out and ask for an audition meant that somehow they admired my acting chops. Anton took a bite from his waffle tower before glancing back at me. “Are you excited to show your tits to the world? I hope that’s something you don’t shy away from.”

  That kept me up all night. I had never fully considered it before, but acting was all about challenging yourself, right? Well, this could be the biggest test yet, and I wasn’t going to let it pass.

  “I don’t mind it … much.” If I was honest with myself, I liked being naked. There was nothing more freeing than being in such a bare state. I hadn’t done it with an audience, though. That part could prove to be tricky.

  “Then what’s this but I hear?” Kells prompted, elevating one of her beautifully shaped brow.

  They didn’t have to guess really. The only but in this whole thing was the man I loved all my life.

  “I don’t know if River will approve. The dance video made him flip shits.”

  “This isn’t about River, though, is it? Do you see him shy away from the opportunities presented to him because it might cause a rift between you guys?” Kells coarsely castigated. “He followed his guts, even if it meant losing you in the beginning. When are you going to stop playing safe and chase whatever it is you want? I know how your mind works, and you’ve considered not even auditioning because of what River’s reaction will be. That pisses me the fuck off. Since when did you let a man rule you like that? I get that you love him, babe, I really do, but this is about you, not him. You’re young and beautiful, and fucking crazy talented. It’s time to show the world what you’ve got, Cara. It’s now or never.” My friend wasn’t having it. Count on Kells to go full-on feminism on you when in doubt.

  Now that she put it that way, I shouldn’t feel guilty at all.

  “Amen to that.” Anton made a sweeping applause. “I agree with Kells. We all love River here, but sweetie, you have to follow where your path leads you, and right now … this Lombardo film will put you in a new map.”

  This was great and all, but still … The prospect of that confession almost made me break out in hives.

  “Since we’re sharing news, I have some of my own,” Anton carried on in his speech. “I’m in talks for a television show about this new script I’m working on. Nothing’s a done deal yet, but wish me luck, you guys.”

  My heart warmed at the sight of Anton beaming with absolute pride. “Gosh, that’s amazing news!” I exclaimed before getting up, rounding the table, and hugging the other man in my life.

  “I hope this is the big break you’re looking for, too, Anton. You deserve it, babe!” Kells threw him a hug on top of mine. It was like a hug orgy and one we welcomed with fervor.

  He was glowing, grinning with satisfaction as he murmured how much sleep he’d been losing, pondering how this negotiation would go.

  He’d been working on his novels and scripts for a few years, but it never came to fruition. His novels, several of them, were left unfinished. Same went for his scripts. It seemed this would be the great push he needed to boost his ego and pride to finish the project up.

  After lunch, the three of us broke apart since Kells had a date with Phoenix and Anton was occupied with his script. I was left to my own devices.

  Kyle, though he was back in town, we hadn’t had time to fully catch up with each other. Though last time we spoke, he mentioned meeting someone. I hoped, with all my heart, that he would find someone to make him happy. He had too good of a heart not to be loved the way he was supposed to be.

  On my way home, I received a call from River. He was in Miami with Ari and Willa, still on the road to do as much promotion as his label demanded of him.

  I meant to tell him that I was auditioning for this new role come Tuesday morning, but River was too intense and too busy to even breathe air. He was beyond anxious, going over every single detail from the packaging to the photo shoot they had to do. Therefore, I figured it was best to tell him if I did manage to snag the job, not wanting to fight when it would all be for naught.

  In two days’ time, I would definitely know where my fate rested.

  //

  “You got it!” Addison screamed into the phone as I caught my breath before I bounced on my bed with complete euphoria, dressed in my little red slip.

  I had auditioned this morning. Normally they waited a day or two, sometimes even a week to make a decision, but here it was, hours later, and God help me, I felt like I was about to combust from euphoria. I began to hop on my bed, jumping like a kid on their birthday.

  “Oh, my God, I can’t believe it! I’m going to be in a film!” Saying it out loud made me feel rattled. This was my first, so it was a huge deal of me. “OH, MY GOD, what if I suck? What if it fails …?” And just as quickly as my excitement flourished, doubts began to cloud and cripple me.

  “You’re going to be fine. Lombardo wouldn’t have casted you if he didn’t see your potential. I heard he’s a fan of Clover so he knows your acting range. You’re extremely talented, and I’m proud of you, Cara, I really am. So, cast your doubts aside, savor this new project, and tomorrow, I’ll have more information about the cast, pay negotiations, and location.”

  Addison was right of course. She wasn’t stating such nonsense because it was expected of her. She was blatantly stating facts that Lombardo wouldn’t be pegged as one of the greats if he didn’t know what he was doing. All these needless fears plaguing me were insecurities of my own making and not Martin Lombardo’s. The great man himself had chosen me, he had made the call-in casting me, and it was my turn to fully acknowledge that with pride and dignity.

  Coming down from my incredible high, I crashed back down on the mattress, still grappling my phone in my left hand. Before I could share this splendid news to my friends, there was one person I had to share it first. Come hell or high water, I was going to win this argument. If River loved me enough, he would support me just as I had supported him since the beginning of time.

  With Siri’s superb assistance, she dialed River’s number with one hasty command, and in no time, the phone began to ring. And with each ringing sound, my heartbeat accelerated to new peaks.

  “Sorry, petal, but I’m running late to this party I’m supposed to be hosting tonight.” River’s words rushed out of him before hearing a loud thud of a door being shut.

  He was probably running out of his hotel room, scurrying to get where he needed to be. Before I could utter a word, I could hear Ari and Willa’s voice echoing from a distance.

  I was tempted to put this news off when he was less distracted, but if I didn’t do it now, I might not get enough courage to fight my battles right. It was now or never.

  “Listen,” I began nervously, chewing my lip before releasing a shaky breath. “I auditioned for this role today, and I got it. I just wanted to tell you that.”

  “What?” I could hear him pause, as if taking in this new development. “That’s awesome, babe! What’s the movie about?” he asked eagerly.

  He was an artist, just as I was, so he understood where I was coming from. Therefore, revealing the next bit shouldn’t faze him much … I hoped.

  “It’s a Lombardo film. I got the lead ’cause the first choice dropped out for medical reasons. Addison will dish out all the info tomorrow.”

  “Fuck, a Lombardo.” That statement alone said it all. “Guess that entails the same usual morsels he delivers on screen, right?” A Lombardo film was notorious for all sorts of reason, mainly one in particular. Sex and art went hand in hand with his projects.

  Why is he being such a typical male right now? I sighed loudly before shaking my head in frustration.

  “Yes, it comes with all that jazz, as expected, and I’m perfectly okay with it.” I made sure the last words were clearly emphasized in case there was any doubt. Nudity wasn’t a rarity these days. All one had to do was go on social media to see how crazy millennials were, sharing their bits fo
r the world to ogle over. Again, this shouldn’t be a big deal because it kind of just wasn’t.

  “Fuck, I don’t want to be a jerk, but I hate this, Cara,” he softly grounded out. “I’ll be back in two days. We’ll speak more about it then, okay? For now, I gotta go. Ari’s giving me the death stare.”

  Two days. A mediated time for us to cool down and hopefully discuss this like normal, rational adults. He didn’t freak out, thank God. He seemed somewhat more ticked off, but not to the point of exploding. That was a good sign.

  The heavy weight that had rested upon my chest finally lifted. All this time I had wasted on anxiety was for nothing. If he was displeased, he kept it to himself.

  “All right, babe. Behave and don’t get too drunk, please.”

  He scoffed as if he couldn’t believe I would advise such garbage. “What are you talking about, baby? I’m always well behaved,” he teased before adding with profound feeling, “I love you, petal.”

  My heart skipped a beat. It never failed to do so each time I heard him say those three words.

  Like the total besotted girl that I was, I grinned from ear-to-ear. “I love you, too, babe.”

  Whatever qualms he had, he had to overcome them, just as I did with all his previous notoriety. To me, this was a job, and a job I intended to nail with everything I had.

  My life was unraveling in ways I hadn’t deemed possible. Things were too good, too sweet, and the cynical part of me waited for the pin to drop and burst this bubble of happiness that I had been living in. I wasn’t sure why, but I somehow felt that sooner or later, hell would break loose and I best prepare myself not to drown once the shitstorm began.

  Chapter Ten

  As promised, my dearest agent had all the information before noon the following morning. I was set to star along with a Spanish actor named Juan Torres who conveniently happened to reside in Madrid. He was apparently famous in Spain. Their up and coming younger version of Antonio Banderas. The movie, La Mujer (The Woman), would be shot in both Spanish and English since seventy percent of the cast was all from Spain. The shooting location was in one of Spain’s Balearic island of Minorca and allocated to film for eight weeks. And I was bound to leave in ten days’ time.

  Yes, I literally was swiftly casted due to the blatant fact that it would jeopardize a lot of the production crew, time, and costs if they waited to cast the female lead. Nevertheless, I was grateful for the opportunity and couldn’t wait to tackle this new character that I would be portraying.

  Kells was in New York, so it was Anton and I who celebrated through lunch. After researching who Juan Torres was, we were both became the giggling idiots when we found out how drop dead gorgeous Spanish the actor was. They weren’t kidding about dubbing him as the next Antonio Banderas. Basing from the pictures of him scattered all over online, he closely resembled the Desperado Antonio Banderas, hair and all, and I was sure the accent would just be as sexy too.

  “Holy sweet fuck, you’ll be bumping uglies with this Spanish macho? My pussy would be moist and pulsate with this bitch.” He began to fan his reddened cheeks, riled up from his own conjured lurid fantasies. “I don’t condone cheating, but if you do … I won’t judge you, Sprinkles. This guy is hot as fuckkk!”

  Cheating? Like hell I would dare think such garbage. I was in a serious—mind you, a very serious—relationship. I had no time for cheating.

  “Sure, this Juan dude looks gorgeous, but my man’s enough to get my juices flowing. So please, don’t talk like that when River’s around, or when he asks you for an opinion, ’cause I need my relationship intact after the eight weeks is up.”

  “You’re right; River’s way hotter than this Spanish guy.” He nodded before I saw his face contort. “Although, eight weeks is a fucking long time to be without your sexy beau, so try to find time to see your man and get all the lust out of your system before you shoot nude scenes with this Spanish dynamite.” No one could fault Anton for being subtle with his words. The man went straight for the kill.

  The nude scenes. The thought of it alone made me shiver with anxiety. I had been too nervous to even dare inquire about it when Addison had asked me if I had any reservations about the impending scenes. I had just given off the impression that it didn’t faze me at all, and so my agent was confident that I wouldn’t suffer from any bouts of shyness. However, I was suffering a great deal, yet I was too prideful to voice it out loud. Such circumstances, in my opinion, should be dealt alone and privately without having other people muddy my already down rotten emotions.

  Even if this Spanish actor was hot, I wouldn’t dream of putting myself in a position where River would distrust me. He and I fought so hard to get where we needed to be. I wasn’t willing to throw that out the window just for some short Mediterranean fling. My love for River ran deep and no handsome man could ever dissuade me from my loyalty.

  That same day, luckily for me, Kyle called to invite me for dinner after my late workout session. Carmen wasn’t there, but she didn’t forget to text me to work on my kicks and punches so I had better chances at beating her next time.

  River arrived Thursday night just as I was preparing dinner in my apartment. I had never seen him so utterly exhausted. The man had dark circles from the continuous traveling. I couldn’t help gently wrapping my arms around him, welcoming him home while feeling downright awful that Ari and his label were making him work so hard. There were work commitments and then there was this.

  I knew he had to prove his worth in a new industry, but this was beyond the realm of normal. I wasn’t sure what bothered me the most: the fact that his management was forcing him to exhaustion or the blatant fact that he didn’t mind being pushed to the breaking point. He wasn’t a damn machine.

  “I hope you’re hungry. I’m making dinner.” Smiling at him, I helped him off his leather jacket. He looked so scruffy and evidently in dire need of TLC. “Do you want wine, water—anything at all?”

  A sexy smile formed on his lips as he lovingly gazed down at me, relieved to finally see each other after almost a week and a half of absence. “Water sounds good. No more drinking for me, not for a while.” He raked through his hair before I felt him reach out to cup my bottom as he kissed the base of my neck. “I’ve missed you …” His voice held a promise of what kind of wicked things he would be up to tonight. And boy, was I ready.

  My body lightly shivered upon his touch before I let out a languorous sigh, contentment and utter happiness running through me. “I hope you’re done with promoting for some time. I’m leaving for Minorca next week, and I’d like to spend as much time with you as possible.”

  He looked pensive, eyeing me with scrutiny before murmuring, “You’re really doing it, huh?” As if there were any concession.

  “Yes, there’s no question about it,” I confirmed with a definite nod. My mind was made up. Besides, I needed to do this for myself, not for him. That drive alone was something he could relate to.

  He gave a reluctant nod, supportive though quite reserved about it. Dark eyes probed into me. “Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? Everyone knows what actors get up to filming those kinds of movies—most of them end up together.” He flinched at uttering the last words.

  There was some truth to his statement—Bass and Emma for one, and a few more I couldn’t name—but I wasn’t one of them. I wasn’t available like those people when they had begun filming.

  “My heart is yours, always and forever. You already know that.”

  “I know, but shit happens. I just hope you’re up for it.”

  “I am.” I was ready, come what may.

  “All right. I trust you, petal.”

  “Thank you. I know this is difficult for you, and I appreciate you even more for supporting me, even though you don’t fully agree with it.”

  He grimaced. “I’m not sure if I can stomach watching it. Don’t think I can make it. You’d think being an actor would make it easier for me, but I’m a man through and through. My mind isn’
t that malleable, babe, not when it comes to you. Sorry.”

  Typical River. “I swear I won’t force you to watch it.” I laughed then tapped his washboard abs. “Dinner’s almost ready. Why don’t you relax while I finish things up in the kitchen?”

  Right on cue, his stomach made a loud, growling protest, evoking a riotous laugh from the both of us.

  “Dinner sounds good,” he murmured as we trudged into the kitchen.

  River took care of setting the table before he resigned to channel surfing while I finished making my baby potatoes to go along with my pot roast. In the midst of it all, I heard him yawn a few times, clearly showing how fatigued he was.

  My heart reached out to him. He worked hard and played harder, but tonight, he ought to rest, switch his phone to silent, and sleep until his heart’s content. I understood that he had work commitments, but I didn’t want him to jeopardize his health along the way.

  So, after dinner, we lounged around the living room, catching up with events. He also revealed that they were already working on tour dates. Primarily North America and Europe. Since I would be on an island off Spain for eight weeks, he promised that he would start his tour in Europe. That way, I’d get the opportunity to see him open his tour and obviously to cheer him on. He would know the definite dates for the first line-up tomorrow.

  Basing off his hits, I was sure the tickets would sell like hotcakes. He already had a massive fan base. Since it was music, it was safe to say all those screeching, screaming, hysterical teenyboppers have quadrupled in no time.

  River and I were in a great place. Though our work commitments were bridging a gap between us, we were resilient enough to know that, though it was tough to find time together, we could manage to compromise in certain areas. We both agreed that as long as our communication was open, we could conquer whatever came our way.

  The next few months didn’t seem grim as I thought it was going to be merely a week ago. River and I could do this. We were tough as nails. We always found our way to each other. Come what may.