J K Rowling - [Harry Potter 0X]

by Harry Potter

  Harry and Hermione watched as the unknown wizard paid Borgin and left the shop with the locket.

  “So this R. A. B. bloke nicked Voldemort’s Horcrux and sold it to Borgin?” Harry asked.

  “That doesn’t make sense. Why would he sell it to Borgin?” countered Hermione. “According to the note he left in the fake locket, R.A.B. intended to destroy it. He, or she, probably died before they got the chance to do it and somehow the Horcrux ended up here.”

  Before they could continue their discussion, Harry and Hermione flew off into the night sky again. The couple flew for a brief amount of time before descending into London. They rapidly approached a building that Harry recognized: the orphanage where Tom Riddle grew up. Harry and Hermione passed through the brick wall of the building and promptly started to go down through the floor. After a second or two of falling through darkness, they ended up in a dimly lit chamber. There was an object that was covered with a black sheet in the middle of the room. Harry’s attention was drawn to this covered item.

  “So, which founder do you think this, whatever it might be, belong to?” Harry asked.

  “With the locket and the ring being Slytherin’s, I would have to guess that all the other Horcruxes would have to be things that belonged to other founders; either Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Gryffindor,” replied Hermione. “I can’t imagine that Voldemort was able to find more than two items belonging to Slytherin, considering how rare such artifacts are.”

  A moment later, the pair was off again. Their spirits soared across the sky for a short time before they once again descended toward the ground. However this time, both Harry and Hermione recognized the building they shot toward. It was the family home of the “Noble and Most Ancient House of Black”: number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

  “Why are we here?” asked Harry as they flew through the dark walls and entered the dusty house.

  “I don’t know...” began Hermione.

  The pair entered the kitchen and stopped when they reached the grimy pile of rags that Kreacher had called his bed before Harry had ordered him to go to Hogwarts. Placed on top of the pile was a golden cup with a badger engraved on one side.

  “That’s Hufflepuff’s,” stated Harry. “I remember it from the Pensieve memory Dumbledore showed me. But why would R. A. B. hide it here...?”

  “I’m so dense!” Hermione announced. “R. A. B. must have been Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother!’

  “Huh?” asked Harry.

  “Remember when we were here and had to clean up the place? We found a locket that we couldn’t open. That must’ve been Slytherin’s locket,” Hermione explained. “Regulus must have taken as many Horcruxes as he could manage to steal, and simply hid them here until he could find a way to destroy them. But he must have been murdered before he could finish the job.”

  “And then after Sirius died, Fletcher stole a load of stuff from the house, including the locket Horcrux, and sold it to Borgin,” Harry concluded, catching on to Hermione’s line of thought. “Boy, this Horcrux Hunt is gonna be a lot easier than I thought.”

  With that, the couple soared out of Grimmauld Place and into the sky once more. This time, Harry was unable to keep track of where they were heading because the ground below them had turned pitch black, as if there were no towns or homes to give off enough light. Soon, they approached an eerie looking keep. They quickly passed through the moldy rocks that made up the walls and entered a dark and clammy throne room. Sitting on an ornately decorated throne was none other than Voldemort. Kneeling in front of the villain was the kidnapped ice-cream maker extraordinaire, Florean Fortescue. The confection creator was trembling in fear as Voldemort sampled a bright orange scoop of ice cream. As Voldemort worked the frozen treat in his mouth, Hermione stated, “And finally, the last Horcrux: Voldemort himself.”

  “Ah, very good, Fortescue,” Voldemort announced, “you get to live for another night. Tomorrow, I want ‘Rocky Road’. But with no fucking marshmallows! I loathe marshmallows! Heaven help you if I see one single marshmallow in my ice-cream!”

  “Wait, what about Nagini?” asked Harry, trying his best to ignore the villain gorging himself on ice-cream. “Shouldn’t she have been identified as one of the Horcruxes by our search?”

  “Why?” Hermione asked, her voice sounding a bit perplexed.

  “Dumbledore reckoned that the reason Voldemort was able to control her so well was because he had made the snake into one of his Horcruxes,” Harry explained.

  “Voldemort is a Parselmouth, which means he can order the snake around,” Hermione continued. “And when you witnessed Nagini’s attack on Mr. Weasley, Voldemort was actually possessing her at the time. That’s why Voldemort has such good control over her.

  “Don’t forget, Voldemort is obsessed with becoming immortal,” Hermione continued to explain. “He placed fragments of his soul into different items, thereby creating the Horcruxes. This would assure his immortality. We know that when a Horcrux is destroyed, like the diary and ring, that fragment of his soul is destroyed along with it. So why would Voldemort risk putting a piece of his soul in a mortal creature? When the creature dies so would the fragment of Voldemort’s soul.”

  “But what if Nagini is like a Basilisk?” Harry retorted. “What if she could live for centuries?”

  “She could still get sick and die. A rock could fall on her head and kill her. A larger predator could eat her. Nagini could even starve to death,” Hermione listed. “Dozens of things could happen that could cause a creature’s death. That’s why all the Horcruxes, except for Voldemort himself, are inanimate objects; things that cannot die. Voldemort would never risk his immortality by creating a Horcrux in a living creature. There are too many unpredictable things that could happen.”

  “Oh,” Harry replied simply, when he suddenly felt a familiar tug, much like the tug associated with Portkey travel. However, the tugging sensation wasn’t located behind his navel, like Portkey travel. Harry felt the tug come from ‘Harry, Jr.’ and his luggage.

  In the blink of an eye, Harry had returned to his body which was still lying on his bed. The young wizard was breathing heavily and his loins felt as if they had just spent themselves. It was odd. He didn’t feel his orgasm, but he definitely felt the after-effects of one. He was about to ask Hermione about it when he saw her face and paused. Harry didn’t need to ask Hermione if he had cummed, he could see it on her face. The whitish goop was slowly dripping down her forehead and toward her eyes. It looked as if Hermione was deep in thought and had not yet noticed Harry’s cum upon her face.

  “Um, Hermione...” began Harry. He wanted to warn her about the mess on her face, but was trying to find a delicate way of telling her about it. He couldn’t just say, ‘Sorry Hermione, but it looks like I just came on your face’ now could he? However, Harry’s attention was diverted from Hermione’s predicament when another voice coming from the corner of the room spoke up.

  “You know, for beginners, you’re doing pretty well,” the ghost of Gryffindor commented. He was sitting on Neville’s bed and appeared to be jotting down notes on a spare piece of parchment. “First off, Harry did a bang up job, the way Hermione was gushing, cheers mate. I tell you if Salazar knew he could do that with his haughty ‘I can talk to snakes’ thing, he would’ve gotten more arse. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been so bitter,” Gryffindor continued. Both Harry and Hermione were so much in shock that neither one even attempted to cover their naked forms. As a matter of fact, Hermione was so shocked by the ghost’s presence, that she still had her hands around ‘Harry, Jr.’. “As for you, Hermione, you did fairly well. But there is room for improvement.”

  It was this point that Gryffindor showed the two naked teens his parchment. The page was full of crude drawings. The drawings were crude both in style (stick figures with overly large circles for boobs and something that looked like a huge cigar for ‘Harry, Jr.’) and subject matter.

  “Hey, that’s a one way exit on me, mister!” Harry shouted u
pon finally recognizing one particular drawing which showed what he assumed was Hermione’s index finger going into a notorious orifice in Harry’s body.

  “C’mon Harry,” Gryffindor argued. “Think of it as a ‘how’d you do’.” The ghost decided to illustrate his argument by forming a tight “o” with his thumb and forefinger from his left hand and them promptly shoved his right forefinger into the “o.”

  “THAT IS IT!” Hermione shouted. The naked witch shot up and Harry could tell that every muscle in her body was tense with rage.

  “Nice shave job there, love,” the specter commented as he indicated Hermione’s crotch. “I told you brainy birds are naught-”

  “GET THE HELL OUT!” screamed Hermione.

  “Oh-ho!” exclaimed Gryffindor as he waggled a finger at Hermione’s face and the goop that was silently dripping down it. “Next time turn your head, love.”

  “What are you talking -?” Hermione began to demand before she started to violently tear at her right eye. “OH SWEET BABY MAVE! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!”

  Obviously Harry’s ejaculate had finally seeped into one of Hermione’s eyes. She continued to howl as she started to frantically look around the room with one eye open. Harry realized she was looking for something to wash the seminal fluid out of her eye. That’s when Harry decided to help her out.

  He snatched his wand off of the bedside table and performed a simple Water Jet Charm directed toward Hermione. It was supposed to be a simple charm that would cause a gentle stream of water to flow from the tip of the caster’s wand. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, Harry had completely forgotten about his power boost. Instead of a gentle stream of water flowing from Harry’s wand tip, a rather large wave exploded out of it. The wave was at least two feet taller than Harry and not only did it knock Hermione to the floor, it also flooded the room.

  “Oh, boy, this isn’t good,” Gryffindor declared and scurried out of the room, obviously afraid of Hermione’s impending wrath. “I’m out of here.”

  Hermione slowly pulled herself off of the water covered floor and to her feet. Not only was she completely soaked, but her right eye was puffy and red. She took a calming breath before addressing Harry.

  “I think it would be best,” she said slowly, as if she was having difficulty controlling her anger, “if you were to leave this room, right now.”

  “But this is my room, Hermione,” Harry said stupidly. It was stupid because Hermione felt compelled to repeat her order in a very loud voice.

  “LEAVE THIS ROOM, RIGHT NOW!” she snapped.

  His senses finally returning to him, Harry ran like a bat out of hell out of his room. He didn’t stop running until he reached the safety of the Common Room. He reckoned that it would be for the best if he were to just sleep on the couch in front of the fire. It was then that Harry realized that he didn’t have a sheet to cover himself with, nor did he have any clothes on. He thought about conjuring some items, like some clothes, but he was afraid that, due to his still unaccustomed power boost, he would end up conjuring a lacy and frilly sleeping gown instead of a simple pair of boxers. Harry sighed and spoke aloud to no one in particular, “I need some help.”

  Soft popping noises alerted Harry to the presence of two house-elves, Kreacher and Dobby. Before Harry could cover his bits, the two elves commented on his nakedness.

  “Master Harry Brat is more wrinkly in areas then Kreacher is,” the ancient elf cackled pointing a finger at Harry’s organ.

  “I’m not wrinkly!” Harry defended himself against Kreacher’s statement.

  “Harry Potter is the Greatest Wizard ever!” Dobby declared as he genuflected. “He is far greater than all Malfoys combined! Dobby had bad experience to be dressing former masters, so’s Dobby knows what Dobby talk about”

  “I’m greater then Lucius and Draco, combined?” asked Harry to which Dobby replied by energetically nodding his head. Harry knew he wasn’t small, but he never thought of himself as being huge either. Harry had the decency to cover himself up with both hands before continuing, “Well, that’s good to know.” He took a great amount of masculine pride in the fact that he was more endowed then the entire male portion of the Malfoy family.

  “Then again, Master Draccy was only tweelves the last times Dobby dressing him. And even Dobby be greater than Master Luscius,” Dobby added. Harry’s masculine pride was suddenly shattered in a thousand pieces. He couldn’t imagine that Dobby was well endowed, and he knew every twelve year old is fairly under developed. So the fact that Harry was ‘far greater than all the Malfoys combined’ wasn’t such high praise after all. The guilt ridden House-elf punched himself in the head for insulting his former master before continuing, “Former master never made former mistress happy. Dobby always helping finish former mistress off when former master sleep -”

  “Okay stop right there,” Harry blurted out and he held out both of his hands if front of him as if they would shield him from the nasty image of Dobby being... intimate with Narcissa. This action, of course, exposed his bits again.

  “Much more wrinkly,” Kreacher added, as Dobby bowed once more to ‘Harry, Jr.’.

  “Damnit,” Harry cursed as he dropped his hands to his sides. It was pointless to try and cover himself now. “Listen, my magic’s gone all wonky and I can’t conjure anything. Could you two make me some pajamas and a bed to sleep in, please?”

  Kreacher grumbled and snapped his fingers. A humble, and somewhat lumpy, bed appeared in front of Harry. With Dobby’s snapping fingers, Harry was now clothed in a fine set of silk pajamas. Of course the words “World’s Greatest Wizard” were embroidered on the font of his shirt with an arrow pointing to Harry’s crotch.

  “Wills yous be needing anything else, Harry Potter sir?” Dobby asked.

  “No, you two can leave,” said Harry. With two pops, the House elves disappeared. Exhausted from this long and adventurous day, Harry fell asleep the moment his head touched his pillow.

  “Harry, it’s time to wake up,” Hermione’s soft voice drew Harry out of his dreamless slumber. He was stunned to see that her right eye was still red and puffy-looking.

  “Morning, Hermione,” Harry greeted her as he sat up. “I’m sorry about your eye.”

  “It was just an accident,” Hermione began to say. She abruptly stopped speaking when she saw what was written on his shirt. “My, aren’t we confident?”

  "Um, err...” Harry stammered, totally embarrassed by his shirt and hurt by Hermione’s statement. Her comment made Harry think that she believed that ‘Harry, Jr.’ was unworthy of such praise.

  “Well, I happen to think you are indeed the greatest,” Hermione cooed as she slipped her petite hand down Harry’s pants and gave a good morning squeeze to ‘Harry, Jr.’ “Especially down here.”

  “Thanks,” Harry said sheepishly and he felt a blush creep into his cheeks.

  “We can play later,” Hermione stated, as she pulled her hand away from Harry’s member.

  “Hey!” protested Harry. “You can’t just squeeze a bloke’s thing and then stop.”

  “We have important something to discuss,” she said gravely.

  “Is it about the Horcruxes?” asked Harry.

  “No, something else. Remember when you performed oral sex on me yesterday?” Hermione asked. “I told you it felt different, much more intense than the first time you did it. You told me you added your love based power to your Parseltongue magic. That got me thinking and I read the segments in ‘The Magic of Making Love’ concerning the two acts you’ve performed on me, using your Parselmouth abilities and ‘Pleasure Pressure Points’. Well, according to the book, the pressure point technique you used on me during the wedding should have only made me feel a little pleasure, not a mind blowing orgasm. Is it safe for me to assume that you tapped into you love magic yesterday during the wedding?”

  “Yes, I thought you needed to relax a bit,” Harry responded.

  “I would like to run a little experiment concerning you love base
d power,” Hermione said.

  Harry’s heart leapt up as well as ‘Harry, Jr.’ at the notion of Hermione’s experiment.

  “Not that type of experiment,” chuckled Hermione, noticing Harry’s reaction. “I want you to perform a simple Cheering Charm on me.”

  “That’s it? A Cheering Charm?” asked Harry, a little put out. He was hoping for a romp with Hermione. “Can we do this experiment nude at least?” he asked hopefully.

  “No,” Hermione said and stood up. “I want you to perform the Charm like you would normally. But don’t tap into you love core. With your power boost, there should be a fairly powerful reaction on my part.”

  Harry got out of the elf-conjured bed and pointed his wand at Hermione.

  “Now, wave your wand at me in a half-crescent motion, like the mouth on a smiley face and say ‘Exhilaro Hilaro.’ Remember to put emphasize on the ‘Roh’ sound at the end.” Hermione lectured.

  “I remember how to do it, Hermione,” Harry stated. “We learned it back in the third year.” Harry calmly followed her orders and said in a loud and clear voice, “Exhilaro Hilaro!”

  Harry felt the charm spring from his wand and fly silently at Hermione. A bright and goofy grin appeared on Hermione’s face instantaneously as she stood in front of Harry.

  “Good job, Harry!” Hermione announced. She tapped herself on the head with her own wand and said “Finite” and the goofy grin was gone. “Now try it again, but this time, focus on your core, focus on loving thoughts.”

  It was easy for Harry to do that, he simply recalled how he felt when he blurted out that he loved Hermione at the reception; warm, happy, and complete. He pointed his wand at Hermione once more and said, “Exhilaro Hilaro!”

  With a loud bang, Hermione was thrown over the couch and out of sight.

  “Whoops,” Harry nervously exclaimed. “Hermione?” Chapter Seven Summary: Brainy birds are naughty!

  Harry cursed at himself for his own stupidity, as he dashed behind the couch where Hermione had landed. Hermione had simply wanted to see how his love based magic affected his power and Harry had complied. He followed her orders and concentrated on his precious and loving memories and thoughts, in order to tap into his unique core. And yet, somehow, he bollixed it all up. He meant to cast a simple Cheering Charm on Hermione, but instead he must have hit her with a Banishing Charm. Harry blew her off of her feet and she ended up falling behind the couch. As Harry rounded the corner of the couch in question, he expected to see the woman he loved crumpled in a heap on the floor. Bafflingly, he found nothing but the floor of the Common Room. ‘Where could she have gone?’ he thought.