J K Rowling - [Harry Potter 0X]

by Harry Potter

  “So, that makes Hermione about a B or a C cup,” Alicia said. She turned to Ron and asked “How big is your witch?”

  Ron pretended like he was holding a junior league sized Quaffle between his hands.

  “Wow, that’s impressive. That’s about a D cup,” stated Alicia.

  “Um actually, I think that’s just one tit,” clarified Harry.

  “That’s one tit?” Alicia said in shock as she pointed to Ron’s hands. The red-haired wizard was grinning madly at the time. Alicia added in a stunned voice; “They’re huge!”

  Alicia spent the next fifteen minutes showing Ron and Harry several different designs and styles. When she got to a matching set of a red bra and knickers with a familiar cartoon cat embroidered on them Harry stammered, “T-th-t-that one.” “Hello Kitty” was on each cup, positioned so that it looked like they would be directly over ‘Carmella’ and ‘Natasha’ when Hermione wore it. It had the cat’s face on the front and back of the knickers. Ron had purchased a lilac one piece for Luna.

  The two friends left the shop and headed back to the Leaky Cauldron. There they found Luna and Hermione having some butterbeer with Tonks and Courtney. The four witches hadn’t seen Ron or Harry enter and were talking amongst themselves.

  “So which one is bigger?” Courtney asked.

  “Ronald is about an inch longer than Harry,” Luna answered and Harry saw Ron swell with pride. “And though Harry is fairly thick, Ron’s only slightly below average himself in girth.”

  “Yeah, but Harry can apparently do wonderful things with his tongue,” countered Tonks, causing Hermione to blush. “I’ve seen the aftereffects; I walked in on them,” Tonks finished.

  “Yes, it is rather magical,” added Hermione. “I have some difficulty walking afterwards.”

  Now it was Harry’s turn to swell.

  “Well, hello there studs,” Tonks greeted Ron and Harry. “We were just talking about you.”

  “Yes-s-s, I know,” Harry stated, but of course, it wasn’t in English. No, he replied in Parseltongue. Hermione shivered and gripped the edges of the table in response to Harry’s magical snake language.

  “Wow, that would tickle,” mused Courtney.

  “Y-yes, but in a very good way,” stated Hermione as she regained her composure.

  “Well, we have to leave,” Tonks announced as she and Courtney got up.

  “It was nice meeting you. Hopefully I’ll see you lot later,” Courtney bid the group farewell.

  Harry and Ron took the empty seats across from their girlfriends. “We ran into Daddy and Neville; they’ve just returned,” Luna announced. “They’re going to Ginny’s party as well! You’ll get to meet my father, Ronald. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  Ron looked as if he had just accidentally swallowed a nasty bug. His face was completely pale except for some blotches of green around his eyes. “Th-th-that’s great,” Ron squeaked pitifully.

  Harry bit back a chuckle at his friend’s discomfort; Ron had to meet the father of the witch he was shagging. Unfortunately, Hermione had seen Harry’s mirth and apparently decided to quell it.

  “I think you should meet my parents soon as well, Harry,” Hermione offered. And now it was Harry’s turn to swallow the proverbial nasty bug.

  After Hermione and Luna finished their butterbeers (Ron and Harry didn’t feel like drinking due to the rather large knot that had formed in their stomachs over the idea of meeting their potential in-laws), the four friends headed back to Hogwarts.

  Upon entering the Gryffindor Common Room, Luna wiggled her eyebrows at Ron and pointed up the stairs leading to the boys’ dormitory with a tilt of her head. Ron nodded and took her hand. Both Luna and Ron scurried up to his and Harry’s room. Within seconds, pleasurable moans wafted down the stairs. Apparently, Luna wanted to make Ron confident about meeting her father and was going about it in a most unique way.

  “They don’t waste time do they?” Harry asked rhetorically.

  “I’ve been thinking, we still need to get Fred and George back for those comments they made about you in the Daily Prophet,” Harry stated.

  “Oh, I agree,” Hermione replied. “And I think I have just the thing.”

  “What do you have in mind?” asked Harry.

  “Well, I came across an interesting little charm in ‘The Magic of Making Love’,” Hermione explained. “It’s a spying charm that’s intended for the target, or targets, to be able to see through different objects, like steel or wood for example. But I figured that we could use it to prank the twins at the party tomorrow.”

  “What kind of object will they be able to see through?”

  “The charm can be very specific, if the caster chooses,” continued Hermione. “And I think that the ability to see through clothes on witches, but only those over fifty, would be good.”

  “How long does the charm last?”

  “Ten weeks... and there is no counter charm.”

  Harry asked the question that he felt was most important, “How do we perform the charm?” Seeing how the ‘special book’ only contained sex magic, Harry was fairly certain that he’d enjoy it.

  “I have to concentrate on an incantation in my mind while you...” Hermione paused and blushed before continuing. “You’ll have to finger me to orgasm.”

  “Do you mean using the Pleasure Points?” Harry asked.

  “No, you’ll have to actually manipulate my, well... me.” She demonstrated by wiggling her fingers in a very obvious motion for Harry to see.

  Harry clapped his hands and rubbed them together gleefully. “When do we get started?”

  “There’s one drawback to the spell,” added Hermione. “We have to perform the charm when our targets, Fred and George, are within twenty feet of us.”

  “What?” Harry asked stunned.

  “I figure that we’ll have to perform the charm at the dinner table,” she clarified as a wicked grin spread across her lips.

  “You are a naughty witch,” commented Harry.

  “Yes I am.”

  A very loud and happy “YES!” echoed down from Harry’s room and after a moment of silence, the moaning started again.

  “They must both be part rabbit,” pondered Harry.

  “Seeing that it’s still early and Ron and Luna are busy,” Hermione sauntered over to Harry and began to play with the button on his slacks. “How about we look for the Horcruxes? I mean, Ron and Luna can’t do it and we’re the only ones who can do it, right?”

  Harry nodded his head in a vigorous and energetic manner.

  “I’ll go get my potion supplies,” Hermione stated. “You get ready.”

  By the time Hermione reached the bottom step of the stairs leading to her room, Harry was mostly naked. He was busy tugging off his socks as Hermione disappeared. ‘Harry, Jr.’ was looking happily at Harry with its one eye and was up and ready for play time.

  Shortly before Hermione returned, another impassioned “YES!” sounded from his room and shortly there after, more moaning. Harry looked down at his penis and silently asked it if it could do repeat performances like Ron. Mind you he also asked if ‘Harry, Jr.’ could do it several times in a row, but last much longer than two and a half minutes each time. Harry imagined that if his penis had shoulders that it would shrug and say “I’ll give it a go.”

  Hermione returned wearing nothing more than her smile. Watching his girlfriend saunter over to him, he imagined what she would look like with the “Hello Kitty” lingerie on. Harry suddenly found himself considering if he should give her the present after all. He wondered if his choice of lingerie was such a good idea. He had bought the lingerie thinking that Hermione would enjoy wearing it, but he now realized that he had purchased the frilly set more for his enjoyment. Honestly, he would truly love to see Hermione wear the naughty undergarments, but he couldn’t imagine how wearing a set of novelty knickers and bra could be enjoyable for her.

  Hermione placed the caldron in front of Harry and tossed one of his discar
ded socks into the oily liquid.

  “Sit down,” she requested as she stirred the contents. Harry flopped down on the couch.

  “Do you remember the incantation?” Hermione asked.

  With a goofy grin Harry shook his head. All he recalled was how nice it was to have Hermione’s hands on him.

  “You say ‘Ructo Vermis’” Hermione reminded him. “And I say ‘Praefoco Pullus’.”

  Hermione dipped her hands into the caldron and then coated his penis with the oil. She lowered her face so that her lips were mere centimeters from ‘Harry, Jr.’s crown and began to chant and pump. Her fingers ran up and down his shaft and her breath danced across its tip. Harry joined in with her chant and in a short matter of time; Harry became light headed and felt as if he had become detached from his body. He opened his eyes and saw that he and astral-Hermione were again floating above their bodies.

  “Don’t focus on my tits this time,” she implored. “Just think about the Horcruxes.”

  “Okay,” Harry said dejectedly and thought about Voldemort’s Horcruxes.

  In an instant, Harry and Hermione’s spirits plummeted through floor after floor of the castle. They shot past the kitchen and dungeon and ended up in darkness once more. A sudden nagging feeling filled Harry, as if he had been here before.

  “Does this place feel familiar to you?” he asked Hermione who was still stroking his penis. “I mean besides the first time you gave me a han - we performed the ritual?”

  “No, not at all,” she admitted, ignoring Harry’s slip of the tongue. Harry heard water drip somewhere in the inky blackness.

  Before Harry could speculate further, the couple took off. Their spirits flew through rock and earth before soaring through the night sky. Within seconds, they were flying toward the orphanage where Riddle was raised. Harry and Hermione passed through the ground and entered the dimly lit chamber.

  “I wonder what exactly this one is?” Hermione asked as they both examined the black sheet hiding the relic.

  “It really doesn’t matter,” Harry answered. “We just have to destroy it.”

  “I know, I’m just curious.”

  After a moment, the pair took off again. This time they rocketed toward a nice looking house in the country.

  “This must be Founders’ Cove,” offered Harry as they entered the house. Sitting in front of the fireplace was the crumpled looking wizard who had bought Slytherin’s Locket from Borgin. He was examining the Locket he held in his hands. He lovingly caressed the gold object, and then set it tenderly on the table next to him.

  “Now, hopefully we have one more stop before the last Horcrux, Voldemort himself,” Hermione stated as they zipped through the air. They flew past towns and cities, rapidly approaching the eerie looking keep. Their spirits slid through the stone and mortar and entered Voldemort’s throne room. Voldemort was pacing back and forth in front of a cowering Wormtail. “What are we doing wrong?” Hermione asked. “Why can’t we locate all of the Horcruxes?”

  “I don’t know,” Harry replied. Harry wasn’t opposed to the idea of needing to do the han... the ritual again; it’s just that he wants to make the hunt for the stupid things to be finished.

  “It’s time to go spelunking into the special cave, again,” Voldemort said knowingly.

  “But Master, the ‘cave’ is dark and... and...” Wormtail nervously stammered. “It’s unnatural!”

  “What are they talking about?” Hermione asked knowing that Voldemort and his lackey could neither hear nor see the two teens.

  “Maybe they’re talking about where the missing Horcrux is?” offered Harry. “If we’re lucky, Voldemort is asking Wormtail to go into this cave where it’s hidden to check up on it.”

  “Nothing about me is natural,” Voldemort hissed at Wormtail’s hesitation. He threw a very small harness, something that would fit onto a rat, at the animagus’ feet. “Now, transform!”

  Wormtail quickly changed into his rat-form and the Dark Lord pulled a cardboard tube, similar to the type from a roll of paper towel, out of his robes.

  “What in heaven’s name are they doing?” Hermione asked.

  “You better have clipped your nails this time, Wormtail,” Voldemort threatened as he began to turn around. “I was bleeding for days last time!”

  The villain reached down and grabbed the string that was attached to Wormtail’s harness. Then, much to Harry and Hermione’s disgust, Voldemort threw off his robes and revealing his deathly pale and boney arse to them. Voldemort positioned the cardboard tube at his bum and it finally became clear what the Dark Lord and Wormtail were about to do.

  “WE HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW!” both Harry and Hermione screamed as Voldemort knelt down on the floor and began to wedge the tube into his rectum.

  “Let’s get out of here!” Harry cried in fear. “End the ritual now!”

  “I can’t!” Hermione said, beginning to panic. It won’t end until you ejaculate!”

  “Work faster!” demanded Harry with terror. “We have to leave right now!”

  “I know! I’m trying!” Hermione snapped as she began to furiously pump on Harry’s member in desperation, trying her best to make him cum, thereby finishing the spell. Harry, even through his growing nausea, felt that Hermione was creating enough friction to start a fire. Harry cringed as Wormtail scampered into the tube, he could hear the rat’s tiny claws scarping on the inside of the tube.

  “Oooh that’s it,” Voldemort cooed in a most disturbing manner as Wormtail disappeared from view into the tube. “Who’s been a good Dark Lord?”

  Harry’s blood ran cold as he saw Voldemort’s face tighten, and the villain declared, “That’s right! I’ve been a good Dark Lord! A VERY GOOD DARK LORD!” Harry heard Wormtail squeak in pain

  In a snap, Harry and Hermione returned to their bodies. Harry hadn’t cum, but instead had rapidly lost his erection, thereby aborting the ritual abruptly. To be honest, just saying that Harry had lost his erection was a little understated. It was more like ‘Harry, Jr.’ was so frightened at what Voldemort did with his free time that the penis ran away and hid, threatening never to come out again. He also saw that his penis was fairly red and raw from Hermione’s desperate and panicky pumping. Harry shivered and noticed that he was covered in a cold sweat. He looked down to check on how his girlfriend was doing.

  “Hermione, are you okay -?” but Harry was unable to finish his question because he saw Hermione’s pretty hazel eyes roll up into her head and she fainted. This of course led to an immediate problem for Harry because she fell forward and into him. But the fact that she fell into him wasn’t the main problem. Rather the issue was that she fell rapidly and with a great deal of force, with her forehead smashing into his genitals - in other words; Hermione accidentally, but very savagely, head-butted Harry’s nuts. Harry curled up in the fetal position screaming in pain with Hermione’s face was still buried in his groin before blacking out himself. Chapter Fifteen Summary: The gang goes to Ginny’s birthday party where Harry and Hermione get their revenge on the twins!

  Harry was in an incredible amount of pain. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was Hermione fainting and unexpectedly head-butting ‘Harry, Jr.’ and his luggage. As every bloke will tell you; a blow to the genitals is unbelievably painful - mind you this description only applies to the blow of the physical violence variety; when the blow comes from the lips, tongue, and mouth, the sensation is incredibly nice, as Harry would be quite happily attest. Our hero never realized that getting some “head” could be so painful and downright dangerous.

  With a pitiful groan, Harry opened his eyes. Judging by the sunlight streaming into the Common Room, he had been unconscious all night. Hermione was still unconscious... and in his lap. Her head lay heavily in his crotch. Hermione’s kinky hair was spread out all over his lap, and judging by her warm breath on ‘Harry, Jr.’ her mouth must’ve been very close to his penis. It was as if she was using Harry’s lap as a pillow.

  As
gently as he could, Harry tried to rouse his girlfriend. He placed his hand on her head and spoke softly; “Hermione get up.”

  Hermione, who was apparently dreaming, muttered, “Not now. I wanna sleep some more.” To show just how much she wanted to sleep, Hermione nuzzled her face into her imaginary pillow. As mentioned previously, Harry’s lap was this pillow. She sleepily rubbed her nose and lips into ‘Harry, Jr.’ and his luggage. Now, Harry’s bits were bruised and battered, but his beautiful (and naked) girlfriend was rubbing her face in his genitals, and therefore overrode the pain he was feeling.

  Even though it was beaten, ‘Harry, Jr.’ found the strength to begin to stand, much like a boxer who refused to give up a match even though he had been severely beaten and knocked down. If it got the chance to stand even more, it’d be poking Hermione in the eye or perhaps up her nose.

  Half of Harry’s brain wanted Hermione to remain in her sleepy state and continue to nuzzle his bits. But the other half of his brain realized that Hermione would be quite irate if that happened. He rationalized that no witch would want to wake up to an erect penis jabbing her in the nose, much less the messy after-effects of such an activity. So, Harry shoved that half of his brain that wanted a “face-job” into the corner of his mind and threatened to give it a stern lecture about inappropriate thoughts later. It also occurred to him, that even if ‘Harry, Jr.’ was completely flaccid and not aroused like it was, Hermione might not like the idea of having it pressed up against her conk anyhow.

  Harry reckoned that the best way to wake his lovely witch was to lift her face up and off of his lap. He gently placed his hands on either side of her head and lifted slowly. Two things caught his eye once he removed Hermione’s face from his groin. The first was that Hermione must have recently drooled a little; a thin line of spittle connected her lips and his bits. It was a rather naughty and intriguing image, and the naughty half of Harry’s brain giggled lustfully at the image. However the second thing that caught his eye wasn’t as intriguing. Apparently, when Hermione was nuzzling into his groin, some of her wild and kinky hair had accidentally gotten wrapped around ‘Harry, Jr.’ and a few strands looked like they were tangled in his foreskin. This was a bad thing.