J K Rowling - [Harry Potter 0X]

by Harry Potter

  “That’s nice,” Hermione said dismissively, clearly not concerned over this revelation. “So what’s the news, Neville?”

  “Ginny and I are married,” Neville answered with just a touch of embarrassment.

  “So Molly found out Ginny was pregnant?” asked Harry.

  “Wait, you knew she was pregnant? And you didn’t tell me?” demanded Ron. His face was quickly growing red with anger. “I’m your best mate and she’s my sister and you didn’t tell me?”

  “They probably didn’t tell you because they knew this was how you’d react, Ronald,” Luna said to her husband. She then turned back to Hermione and complimented; “You do have lovely breasts. Would you like to see mine? It’s only fair after all.”

  “I’ve already seen them,” Hermione pointed out.

  “Hey, I’m still upset here,” Ron persisted.

  “Yes, Ronald, but you shouldn’t be,” Luna said and then added to the other witch; “But I just saw your breasts, and I’m a strong believer in fair play.”

  “It’s quite alright,” insisted Hermione.

  “I have a right to be upset,” Ron carried on.

  “No, you really don’t, my love. Harry and Hermione knew that you would take the news badly, so they logically didn’t tell you. Honestly, they were protecting you,” the blonde said off-handedly before returning to her conversation with Hermione. “I’ll feel terrible if I don’t show you my breasts.”

  “If she really wants to, I say why not,” offered Harry as he tried to coyly position himself next to Hermione in the off chance that Luna would show her boobs.

  “Harry,” warned Hermione.

  “He does have a point,” Neville said as he, too, stood next to Hermione to enhance his chance at an unobstructed view.

  “All right, fine,” Hermione said with a huff. “Whip them out.”

  Smiling broadly, Luna popped open her blouse letting her enormous breasts spring free (Harry could’ve sworn he heard two “boing” sounds - one for each boob).

  “My God,” Neville began.

  “They’re,” continued Harry.

  “Huge,” concluded Hermione.

  “Have you three had enough of ogling my wife?” Ron demanded.

  “Not just yet,” Harry said. Neville held up his index finger as if to say to Ron that he needed just one more moment. Of course, during this interchange, Harry, Hermione, and Neville had been staring wide-eyed at the blonde’s chest. Luna stood there, happy as a clam while three of her friends were transfixed with her melons.

  “They are fascinating,” commented Hermione. “I’m not into women in the slightest, but I can’t help but stare.”

  “Not really into women, huh?” Harry whispered in her ear so that she was the only one to hear. Of course, his eyes were still glued to Luna’s ample mounds. “That wasn’t the case when we performed the Morgy Ritual.”

  “I told you then, it was just an advanced form of masturbating,” Hermione said in an equally soft voice. She then added, in a louder voice, “Do you see that blue vein on her left tit...”

  “This one,” Luna said while pointing to her own breast.

  “No, the one a few inches above it,” Hermione corrected and Luna moved her finger up. “Yes, that’s the one. Doesn’t that look like an outline of a Quidditch goal post?”

  “What? Quidditch? Boobs?” Ron said as he pushed his three friends out of the way. While Ron gazed at his wife’s milky flesh, Harry commented internally that all the red head needed now was food and the three things that he loved most in the world would be wrapped up in one.

  After everyone had gotten a good long look, Luna finally pushed and squeezed her mounds back into the confines of her blouse. A few minutes later, after everyone regained their composure, Ron (who was much calmer now) brought up his sister’s pregnancy again.

  “So, the day after we get home, Ginny pukes at the breakfast table,” Ron began, still wiping the drool off of his mouth with the back of his hand. “Mum grabs her by the ear and hauls her to the bathroom. Apparently, she had already figured it out but she wanted to run a few pregnancy test charms on Ginny just to be sure. And when Mum got the results, boy was she mad.”

  “Speaking of which, you no longer seem that upset that Harry and Hermione didn’t tell you about Ginny,” Neville pointed out. “Why is that?”

  “My breasts have a calming effect on Ronald,” explained Luna. “That was one of the reasons I wanted to expose myself.”

  “Just one of the reasons?” asked Neville.

  “Yes, for another, I like exposing myself,” Luna answered honestly. “It’s rather fun. And another reason is I like to give the girls a breath of fresh air every once in a while. It’s not good to keep them confined like a hard shelled-marlwomp.”

  “Anyway, Mum starts shouting and wailing,” continued Ron. “She demands to find out who the father is and Ginny tells her.”

  “Let me guess, Molly forced Neville to marry Ginny,” assumed Hermione.

  “No, it was my idea,” Neville answered. “Mrs. Weasley fire-called my Gran and demanded we head over to the Burrow. I pretty much knew that Ginny’s secret had been revealed. So I decided to do the right thing and ask her to marry me right when I got there. Thankfully she said yes a second before her mum shouted ‘Damn right you will marry him, Ginevra. My grandchild will not be a bastard!’”

  “It was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen,” Luna said in an extra dreamy way. “They had the wedding a few minutes later. Everyone was still in their pajamas and the vicar was in his bathrobe. Molly had floo’d over to his house and practically dragged him out of the shower for the ceremony.”

  “How’d your grandmother handle it?” Harry asked the new groom.

  “Surprisingly well,” Neville answered. “I think she was afraid that she was going to die before she got any great-grandkids.”

  “Where’s Ginny now?” Hermione asked.

  “The train ride made her so sick before that her dad got a Muggle auto from the Ministry and is driving her up to school.”

  “That’ll take a while,” Harry said.

  “Yeah but using the floo would be awful for her and I’m not even going to think about how bad the Knight Bus would be,” Neville commented.

  “I take it Molly is still furious?” asked Hermione.

  “Just a little; I think she’s excited about the baby but she won’t admit it,” Luna said.

  “Yeah, and she spent a whole night yelling at Charlie, Bill, Fred and George. If Percy wasn’t such a prat and had been there, she would’ve yelled at him, too,” Ron said with a chuckle. “She said that they were dragging their feet in bringing her grandbabies. You should’ve heard how she moaned that she never thought Ginny would be the first one to be a parent and then yelled at my brothers for not doing their jobs. She hollered at Bill for not knocking up Fleur yet and even offered him some Fertility Charms. ‘I have one that makes the witch ovulate. Don’t make me cast it on Fleur when you’re not looking,’” Ron said in a high voice, apparently trying to imitate his mother (which he did poorly). “Then she screamed at Charlie and the twins for not even being married. George pointed at me and tried to throw me into the flames so to speak. ‘He’s married,’ George said, ‘yell at him.’ Mum cuffed him around the side of the head for that; hit him so hard she nearly took his ear clear off his head. ‘Luna, the dear,’” Ron began again in his dreadfully poor high voice.

  “She did; she called me ‘dear’,” Luna said while beaming proudly.

  “‘Luna, the dear, has another full school year after this one,’ Mum said. ‘You can’t expect her to have a baby while at school.’”

  “Speaking of that, what’s Ginny going to do next year?” asked Harry.

  “Well, she’s probably going to take the year off,” Neville said. “So she can take care of the baby. Me, my Gran and Ginny’s mum have offered to take help out so she can go back to school, but we’ll see what happens.”

  “You do realize
this means we’ll have to throw a baby shower,” Luna said with a happy smile. “Everyone’s invited.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m busy that night,” Harry said immediately.

  “We haven’t set a date yet, Harry,” Luna pointed out.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m just saying I’ll be busy doing something then,” Harry said with absolutely no subtlety. He had no intention of hanging around witches as they gushed over concepts like dirty nappies and stretch marks. “I don’t know what this thing is that I’ll be doing yet, but I know it will be vitally important and that I can’t go to the shower.”

  “Whatever he’s doing, I’m with him,” Ron added.

  “Yes, I’m sure I’ll need help in whatever it is that I’ll be doing,” Harry agreed.

  ~*~

  Back at the castle and after supper, Seamus, Parvati, and Lavender walked up to Harry.

  “Hey, mate, welcome back,” Seamus said, and added in a serious manner; “we need to talk.”

  “What is it?” asked Harry.

  “You’re in trouble,” Lavender answered.

  “Why, that’s unusual,” Harry said lightly. “I’ve never been in trouble before. Let’s see; does an instructor want me dead? Or could it be the most feared dark wizard has put a price on my head?”

  “No, we mean it,” Parvati said. “We’ve heard some pretty disturbing things over the holiday.”

  “Go on,” Harry said. He was expecting that the three would say that the people outside of Hogwarts were acting frightened.

  “We stayed in the castle this year because the three of us wanted to spend some time together,” began Seamus, completely countering Harry’s assumption that they were going to tell him about the state of the world outside. “Anyway, Malfoy has it in for you.”

  “Yes, I know,” stated Harry.

  “No, not like he used to have it in for you where he’d tried to get you expelled or the like,” Lavender corrected. “I mean he fancies you.”

  “We got that impression before we left for the holiday,” Hermione said with a bemused smile. “It was obvious by the way Draco kept eyeing Harry.” She continued, clearly enjoying the fact that this topic made Harry squirm in his seat.

  “Well, we kind of made it worse,” Seamus admitted sheepishly.

  “What did you do, you little bastard?” Harry demanded angrily. He already had enough problems with Draco and didn’t need anymore.

  “You see, we were just talking to him on Boxing Day and asked why he thought he was in love with you,” Parvati spoke with apprehension. “It turns out he had some sort of nervous breakdown shortly after he and Snape escaped after... well at the end of last year. He was a mess and there were rumors that You Know Who was going to order his execution. Draco then told us he saw that Daily Prophet article way back during the summer holiday where you were at Ron’s brother’s wedding and said that you loved Draco.”

  “That was a misprint,” Hermione interjected.

  “We know that,” Lavender said gently. “But Draco thought it was true. He became so inspired that he escaped. Fought his way to freedom and all that tosh. And now that he’s back here at school, he wants to be, you know, with you,” she concluded with an extra emphasis on the phrase ‘with you’ as if to drive home the fact she was using a euphemism for “he wants to stick his erect penis up your rectum.”

  “But I’m not gay,” Harry objected.

  Seamus suddenly became chipper and said, “Believe me, we know,” as he nudged his elbow into Harry’s ribs. “We saw the Pensieves, you kinky sod.”

  “Did you tell him about Harry and me?” Hermione asked.

  “Oh yes, some of the other students chimed in as well. A bunch of us were telling him about those Pensieves,” Lavender answered. “So it wasn’t just the three of us but everyone who stayed over the holiday tried to tell him the truth.”

  “And he didn’t believe you?” asked Harry. He was slightly surprised to notice that he wasn’t embarrassed or concerned about talking so openly about the Pensieves that most of his peers had seen. Either he was no longer ashamed over that fiasco or he was just more worried about Draco.

  “We even told him you were the MPL,” Lavender said as if the initials meant something.

  “MPL?” asked Harry.

  “Master Pussy Licker,” the blonde witch explained. Harry shrugged his shoulders in acceptance; it was a better moniker than “The Boy Who Lived.” At least he earned the name Master Pussy Licker.

  “He said that you were just confused, Harry,” Parvati said. “He then said that he’d show you what love truly meant.”

  “Obviously, he’s still delusional from his breakdown,” speculated Hermione. “He must have built up this fantasy world centered on you, Harry, and won’t accept the fact that you’re not in love with him.”

  “Just great,” muttered Harry. He thought to himself that this situation couldn’t get much worse.

  “Then Seamus made it even worse,” Lavender said with shame. Harry groaned pitifully.

  “I didn’t mean to,” Seamus weakly defended himself.

  “What did you do?” demanded Harry.

  “It was an honest mistake,” Seamus continued. “I was just trying to tell him how ‘not gay’ you are.”

  “He said to Draco ‘The only way you’d ever get Harry is to tie him down and bugger him,’” Parvati stated.

  “Then Draco said that was a splendid idea and he’d do just that,” Lavender added.

  “For the love of God!” screeched Hermione. “You challenged a mentally unstable wizard to anally rape my boyfriend?”

  “It was an accident,” the Irish wizard said, stepping away from the angry witch.

  “I don’t think Malfoy will really rape Harry,” offered Parvati. “Ever since sixth year, he’s been nothing but a spineless twat.”

  “Mind you, I think he’ll try everything short of tying you down to sway you,” warned Lavender.

  “Is there anyway to transfigure my pants into iron?” Harry asked as he scanned the Great Hall looking for Draco.

  ~*~

  While they walked to their chambers, Harry kept looking around frantically. He was deeply, deeply concerned that Draco might hop out of the shadows, while very naked and very aroused, to tackle Harry.

  “What do you think my Mum did to get my Dad to accept her terms over the holiday?” Hermione asked, clearly trying to ease Harry mind and distract him. “I mean he was adamant about us not even brushing up against each other. But then Mum whispered in his ear and he automatically agreed to allow us to hold hands.”

  “She offered to let him bugger her,” Harry replied while still eyeing every shadow suspiciously.

  “What makes you think that?”

  “I reckon that since you got your bum from her, the two of you like the same things.”

  “Oh,” she uttered in acceptance. Then Hermione stopped walking, and her expression and voice turned angry. “You were looking at my mother’s bottom?”

  “Yes,” Harry said without guilt. “It’s a rather attractive bum.”

  “You cheeky bastard, you ogled my Mum’s bottom,” Hermione snapped. “How could you do that? I mean, she’s my mother!”

  “Well, I did say that you got your glorious bottom from her. And I was using her posterior as a comparison of time,” Harry said with a crooked smile. “And judging by how well you Mum’s bottom has held up, I think it’ll be glorious for a good long time to come.”

  “You think my bum’s glorious?” Hermione said with a glow to her cheeks - her upper cheeks mind you. Although, Harry assumed that the glow in Hermione’s upper cheeks meant that the witch wanted to be spanked so that her lower cheeks would glow as well.

  The wizard stepped up to his witch and slipped his hands into her robes. His palms glided over her belly, around her back, and down passed her skirt. Then, with time honed skills gained by playing with her bottom, Harry slid his hands under her skirt and massaged her bum.

  “You’
re not wearing your knickers,” Harry said. This drew the attention of ‘Harry, Jr.’. The organ pressed against his trousers and was shouting, “Let me see! I wanna see knickerless-Hermione for myself!”

  “They’re in your pocket, remember,” Hermione said and pushed her hips against his. “After we shagged in the train, I gave them to you as a memento.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Harry said. His right hand left her bottom and retrieved the lacy garment from his robe pocket.

  Once again, Hermione pushed her hips into Harry, this time grinding her body against his.

  “You keep doing that and I’ll take you right here in the hallway,” Harry half threatened, half hoped.

  “Promise?” she asked while still rubbing herself on him.

  “That’s it, I’m going to push you on the ground and have my way with you,” Harry warned playfully. “Of course you’ve been rather vocal lately, not that I mind in the slightest, but if I’m going to shag you in the middle of the hall I don’t want to attract attention to us.”

  “You can always gag me,” offered Hermione.

  “Hot damn, you’re kinky,” cheered Harry as he momentarily lost his composure. After regaining his cool, he slipped back into character. “It’s a shame that the ball-gag is in my trunk,” he paused and theatrically held up Hermione’s knickers. “However, I do have these.”

  “Oh, that’s dirty,” Hermione said, or rather what she had apparently wanted to say. Harry was uncertain because the moment she had opened her mouth and said “Oh,” he placed the edge of her knickers into her mouth, effectively silencing her.

  While both were blushing madly, Harry continued to stuff the undergarment in Hermione’s mouth. And while he stuffed, Hermione had straddled his leg and was rubbing her naked flower on his trousers. Once Harry had successfully pushed the knickers in her mouth, Hermione began to pull down his zipper.