All for Maddie

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Shit, Jaron, STOP!” I shouted, remembering the fact that we had forgotten the condom.

  “Where are they?” he asked, sliding out of me, knowing exactly what it was we needed.

  “In the nightstand drawer.”

  Jaron slid on the condom and flipped me over moving in behind me where he finally broke, sending us both over the edge and collapsing to the bed in heavy pants.

  “Jesus Christ, girl,” he rasped and then laughed when he picked up a little shoe in my bed.

  I laughed, breathing the same speedy breaths as him.

  “You’ve got to go,” I said.

  “Yeah, okay. Did you want to pay me now or later,” he asked, being a smartass.

  “Hmmm? I think I already paid you,” I protested, squirming from beneath him. “Or you could just stay and let my dad pay you when he brings Maddie home in a few hours.”

  “Nope, I’m good on that,” he assured me sliding into his jeans. “And you did not pay me. I didn’t get a blow job.”

  “Next time. I promise.”

  Chapter 3

  I sat on my porch watching Jaron drive down the dirt road in my golf cart. He wouldn’t bring it back. I would either have to hitch a ride with my dad or walk back to the resort. Leaned up against the wooden balustrade I let my mind wonder to where it didn’t want to go, but needed to.

  Why the hell was Alex there? He had never been there before. Was he really feeling that guilty for what he did? Maybe I should talk to him and let up. We were just kids. Maybe he wasn’t that kind of man. Maybe it was only that one time and he felt horrible. But Maddie, I couldn’t let him know about her. My dad, I couldn’t let him know either. One thought led to the next, until I was reliving that horrific time in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Maddie was my whole world, and if I had to be raped to have her, I’d do it all over again.

  I never got the chance to think about an abortion. I waited too long. I was almost five months pregnant before my dad found out. Dana had walked into my room when I was standing in front of the mirror and turned sideways, contemplating on how much longer I could hide it. Her mouth fell clear to the floor and she sank to my bed, white as a ghost.

  “Oh my God, Whit. Your dad is going to flip. What have you done?”

  I started bawling. He was going to kill me. He thought I was this perfect little girl. How could I tell him that I was pregnant? He was going to be so disappointed in me.

  “Who, Whitley?”

  “I cried harder.” I couldn’t tell him or her that either. I wasn’t even supposed to be at that party. There was no way that I could tell either of them that Alex Wesson raped me. I not only got pregnant my first time, I was raped my first time. You would think you had a better chance of getting hit by lighting than that. I was so scared and had no idea what I was going to do.

  Of course, I lied and said that it was a boy by the made up name of Jason, someone that had spent the week at the resort. My dad was beyond furious with me, and I’d never felt the shame like I felt at that moment. I knew at that moment that nobody would ever know what Alex Wesson did to me. Not even Kylie. She assumed the same thing as everyone else and was pretty quick to jump on the angry wagon with everybody else. She was under the assumption that I had lost my virginity to some hot boy that stayed at the resort, and that I didn’t tell her. I would take that skeleton to my grave.

  <><><>

  I did have to walk out the dirt road back to the resort. My dad never came back with Maddie and of course, Jaron never brought my golf cart to me. Not that I expected he would. My head hurt like hell, my legs were sore from being twisted into unique positions, and I had cottonmouth from all the beer.

  “You look rough,” my dad stated as I entered the main gate office.

  “Mommy!” Maddie yelled, running to me.

  “Hi, pretty girl,” I said, picking her up. “I feel rough,” I told my dad, going straight for the coffee that nobody seemed to be able to make but me. Oh, but they didn’t have a problem emptying the damn thing. Okay, so I was a little irritable.

  “Jump down, sweetie,” I said, sliding Maddie down my body and to the desk in front of my dad.

  “I feed a fish,” Madelyn stated. I gave my dad a dirty look.

  “We already fed the fish,” he reminded her.

  “I feed em again,” she said, holding his face between her little hands.

  “In a little bit,” he said, kissing her lips.

  “You’re such a sucker,” I accused while filling the pot. That little girl had my dad wrapped so tight around her finger it was pathetic. But in his defense, I too had that effect on him growing up. It was just him and me until he met Dana when I was ten. I used to control the string around his finger. I guess I still did to a certain point. I knew there was nothing that my dad wouldn’t do for me. Moreover, I couldn’t be happier that he had accepted my baby and loved her as much as he did.

  “Dana Ray, you forgot to set the trash out. You look rough,” my stepmom said, entering through the back door.

  “Thanks,” I said, willing the coffee to drip faster. “You have to deal with this for a little bit, Dana,” I begged, seeing the first car heading to the office to checkout. I couldn’t deal with it yet. Not until I had some caffeine in my system.

  “Well, I was going to deal with all of it. You’re off this weekend, remember?”

  “Shit, I am. What am I doing here?”

  “Shit,” Maddie just had to say. Why did she only say the words that were going to get me that look from my dad? Yup, that one right there.

  “Let’s get out of here Maddie, before Papaw puts us to work.”

  “I have a feed a fish.” She stomped the red cowboy boot to the floor. It was the middle of summer. Why she insisted on wearing those damn things was beyond me. They looked lovely with her lavender shorts and pink top.

  “Are you taking your bike home?” my dad asked, derailing her fish thoughts.

  “I have a ride it. You watch me, K?” she said taking my hand.

  I carried the bike down the steps and set it on the blacktop. I kept her at the front of the lot when I saw the white sports car coming our way. Thank God he was leaving. I never looked in his direction when he got out of his car, leaving the blonde waiting in the passenger seat.

  “You feeling okay?” Jaron yelled from the dining room deck.

  I couldn’t yell the choice of words that I wanted to, not with Maddie there anyway. I smirked and tilted my head, hoping he could see my go to hell expression. My eyes were literally away from Maddie for a split second. I quickly turned when I heard the thud and then the scream. She drove right into the side of Alex’s sports car as he pulled out.

  I picked her up and looked at her. “You’re okay. You have to watch what you’re doing.”

  Alex jumped out and ran his hand over the side of his very expensive front fender.

  “You almost ran over my kid, and you’re worried about your car?” I asked, rubbing Maddie’s back.

  “Hey, you okay?” he asked, touching her arm. I turned, jerking her away from him.

  Maddie just had to go and look up at him. I will never forget the look in his face. It was like an instant realization. He stared at her in disbelief. I was praying to God almighty himself, that he didn’t see it. That he didn’t see the same little cowlick on the right side of her forehead that he had, that he didn’t notice the same uniquely gray, green eyes that he had, or that he didn’t relate her long dark lashes to his. He did. I knew he did. It was written all over his face.

  “Whitley?” he said in question.

  I picked up the bike and stormed away with my daughter. I knew what he was asking, and I wasn’t answering.

  Maddie and I spent the day at our little beach. I packed us a picnic. We sat in the sand eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches, chips, and spear pickles. I didn’t pick the combination. She did. Maddie loved her pickles. You could bet they were on my grocery list practically every Sat
urday morning.

  “Did you have a fun birthday?” I asked, pulling a strand of hair from her mouth.

  “Uh-huh, I have a birfday a morrow too.”

  “You can’t have another birthday till you are four.”

  “I be four a morrow.”

  I wasn’t even going to try. I would hear about her birthday for a few days yet, and then she would forget it. I picked my phone up, hearing the beep and read the text message from Reed, You want to get together later?

  “What that say?” Maddie wanted to know, leaning over my leg to see for herself.

  “It says Madelyn Rae Bradshaw is the prettiest little girl in the whole world. She should finish her sandwich,” I pretended to read. She giggled.

  No not tonight, long weekend, I texted back. I couldn’t handle Reed, not that it would have lasted long, but still.

  “What that say?” Maddie asked.

  “It says: Madelyn Rae Bradshaw looks like she is ready for a nap.”

  “Her not,” Maddie assured me, looking up to me.

  I cleaned up our picnic while Maddie played in the shallow stream, and then sat in the sand watching her and of course contemplating Alex. I wasn’t overly worried. It wasn’t like I had ever come after him for anything. I didn’t need anything from him. I would have burned his money had he offered it, right after I spit in his face. I mean, the nerve. Why the hell would he think it was okay to come here? Did he think he was going to impress me with his fancy sports car? Make me jealous by bringing his little bimbo here? I didn’t get it. What would be his motive to show up here?

  “I done now,” Maddie decided. I knew it was just a matter of time. I’d already seen her yawn three times. I stood and picked up our bag.

  “Put your shoes on so you don’t step on a bee,” I coaxed.

  “You carry me?”

  Ugh…I put her shoes in the bag and picked her up, feeling the wet from her shorts soak my shirt.

  “You’re getting too big,” I said kissing her cheek. She was tired, I could tell.

  “I have a birfday a morrow,” she assured me.

  Nope. No comment. Not going there, again.

  Not only did Maddie have a nice long nap, so did her mommy. She fell asleep on the loveseat watching the new movie that I would see a hundred more times, I was sure, and I napped on the couch,.

  It was almost four in the evening before I woke, instantly turning to the loveseat to find it empty, only the crumpled up blanket and pillow remained. I looked to the door. Phew, she hadn’t escaped. I sat up and looked toward the kitchen, no mess. Two for two, this might not be as bad as I was accustomed to. I slid off the couch and looked in her room to find her sitting on the floor, playing with the new dollhouse that Jaron had gotten her.

  “Hey baby,” I said, smiling at her, happy that she woke up happy.

  “Dis mommy have a cwean a house,” she explained, holding up the mommy doll.

  “This mommy needs to do that too,” I also decided.

  <><><>

  I hadn’t heard a word from or about Alex in over two weeks. I quickly forgot all about him, and settled my nerves. Not that I was expecting to hear from him. I was sure that the Maddie scare had sent him running for the hills.

  I went back to my normal life at the resort, continuing my routine. Saturday morning grocery shopping entailed of Maddie standing beside me in the truck until we got to the main road, and then forcing her into her seat, screaming of course. Sunday afternoons were spent at our special little sandy beach. Bath time continued to be crying with the whole soap in my eyes deal. The work week consisted of either waiting tables or working the front office and yes, I still needed Reed. He was safer than Jaron. Jaron was my occasional drunk sex, Reed just kept me satisfied. I didn’t need nor did I want any more than that. My spoiled rotten child kept me plenty entertained.

  Friday morning was crazy busy in the front office. Every cabin in the entire resort was booked, all thirty-five of them. Not counting all of the tent campers checking in. I no sooner got one guest checked in and another would be pulling in. It was still irrational at one o’clock in the afternoon. Thank God, Jaron had volunteered to come and get Maddie for me. I couldn’t keep one eye on her with the traffic coming in and out.

  I saw the well-dressed man pick up a jar of the homemade strawberry jelly and look around the little store. I never understood why people like him came here. You could tell he was a city slicker. At least change your clothes. This was a camp ground with a river, fish, campfires, and I was sure this guy wasn’t used to roughing it.

  “Sorry about that. It’s kind of crazy around here this time of year,” I said to the man when it was finally his turn. “Last name?” I asked, turning to the computer.

  “Oh, I’m not here to check in. I’m here to serve you. I just need a signature right here, stating that you did receive the legal documents.”

  “Legal documents?”

  “Yes ma’am. You are Whitley Bradshaw, correct?”

  “Yes. Legal documents for what?” I asked, hoping that it had nothing to do with what my mind was playing out.

  “Just sign right here Miss, and you can open it for yourself.”

  I signed the line that had my name printed out beside it. I felt the lump in my throat, but it was nothing compared to the one that just balled up in my stomach when I read the header. ‘River County Municipal Court.’ I didn’t get to read any of it. I had to slide it under the keyboard when my dad walked in.

  “What’s wrong? You sick?” my dad asked, seeing the expression on my face.

  “Uh, no. I’m not sick. What’s up?” I asked, feigning sanity.

  “Naomi will be late tonight. Can you work the dining room for a couple hours?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “You are sick. No complaining?” he asked with a frown.

  I smiled as much as possible. “No, Maddie needs a new pair of cowboy boots. She won’t stop wearing hers, and they are getting too small. I don’t mind. I’ll work the dining room.”

  “I can buy her a pair of cowboy boots, Whit.”

  “I know you can. I don’t want you to. I can handle it.”

  He smiled a proud smile. “Where is she?”

  “Jaron came and took her for me. It’s been crazy here this morning.”

  “Dana is almost done with breakfast. I’ll have her go get her.”

  “She doesn’t have to. Mathew will be here in an hour. She’s fine. She loves hanging out with Jaron.”

  “Yeah, but I’m not so sure I like her hanging out with Jaron. I’m afraid of her leaving with a tattoo or her right ear pierced or something,” he joked.

  I laughed as much as possible at the time. I wanted him to leave. I needed to see what I was being served for.

  “You sure you’re okay,” he asked again.

  “Yes, I’m fine. Don’t you have something to do?”

  “Oh, yes. Cabin twelve has a water leak. I was heading there. I’ll see you later.”

  Shit, I was never going to find out why I was being served. Two trucks and one car all pulled in at the exact same time. I’m not sure I have ever checked in guests that fast before. I was asking the last name of one before the first ones even had their keys in hand.

  I looked to the empty parking lot once the last of the three were out of the there. Sliding the letter from under the keyboard, I sank to the desk chair.

  “He wants a paternity test,” I said out loud in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. Why would he do this? What gave him the right? Maddie was a product of him raping me. He didn’t have this right. Could he do this? Of course he could. I was holding the legal binding order in my hand. I needed a lawyer. This couldn’t be. It wasn’t right.

  I was in a daze, thinking the worse. I tried over and over to tell myself I had nothing to worry about. He had no rights over Maddie. This was ludicrous. Plain and simple. Damn. Why didn’t I keep his number? I jumped up and went to the computer, typing in his name. I had his address. I wou
ld probably never forget it, 2121 Wesson Court. His street was his last name. The bastard had a street named after him. What the hell was that theater called? They were everywhere. I couldn’t think. I knew he probably worked in the family business. Well, I presumed anyway.

  “Determination,” I called out, remembering the theater name. How the hell did you find someone with all these different theaters? Okay. Okay, think Whitley. His address is Lincoln. There were only two theaters in Lincoln; one of those had to be it. Right?

  Wrong…..

  The phone was answered by kids or young adults. None of which knew who the hell Alex Wesson was.

  “Wesson Simulation? What the hell does that mean?” I asked, talking to myself again, seeing the search results in front of me. Maybe it was a different Wesson. Maybe he didn’t work for his family. It was a long shot, but one I had to rule out.

  “Wesson Simulation, this is Janie. How may I direct your call?”

  “Yes, I need to speak with Alex Wesson, please,” I asked with a shaky voice.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Wesson doesn’t take direct calls. I can however, take your number and pass it on to him.”

  “Yeah, okay. Sure. My name is Whitley Bradshaw and my number is 312—”

  “Oh, he’s been expecting your call,” she said, cutting me off. “Please hold.”

  He was expecting my call? Okay, get it together, Whit. This ass is not going to intimidate you into doing anything.

  “Good afternoon, Whitley. I am impressed. You’re very prompt.”

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I yelled. I couldn’t help it. My blood went from chilled to boiling as soon as I heard his snide little voice.