All for Maddie

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Stop, Whitley,” he demanded, removing my hands.

  “Fine,” I said pulling away. “I’m going home to Jaron. Jaron will fuck me,” I assured him, heading to the front door with no keys. I forgot that I needed those to make the car go. He wrapped his arm around my shirtless waist, stopping me before I made it to the door, held my shoulders and walked me to my room.

  I moaned as I was gently made to lay down. He slid my shoes off and left me, like he had to get the hell out of there. I hated alcohol. I was never drinking it again. I was going to be sick. I didn’t like Regan anymore either. This was all her fault.

  I woke to one hell of a headache wearing my bra and jeans, lying on top of the covers. Shit. I instantly thought remembering my outlandish behavior with Alex. I had to go face him. Jesus. I was such an idiot.

  I showered before going to find the much needed coffee. He was dressed in dress pants, a tie, and a crisp white shirt. I wanted to ask him where he was going but refrained. I didn’t care. I walked past him and to the kitchen where I was hoping there was coffee. There was, thank God.

  Where the hell was my phone? I wanted to call Maddie. I didn’t remember carrying it in. Did I leave it at the bar? Was it in the car?” I looked around for it, still ignoring Alex.

  “It’s by the door,” he spoke, knowing what I was looking for.

  I picked it up from the table and sat on the sofa with my coffee.

  “Hi, is Maddie around you?” I asked my dad.

  “I feed a fish,” she answered. I smiled.

  “Did you miss your fish?”

  “Uh-huh, Papaw be mad.”

  “Why Papaw be mad?”

  “I feed a fish Rance dwessing.”

  “You fed the fish Ranch dressing?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Why did you feed the fish Ranch dressing?”

  “Dem wike it.”

  “Fish don’t like Ranch dressing, Maddie. They like fish food.”

  “Nemo wike it. Him sweeping.”

  Oh great, she killed another one.

  “Where my daddy go?” she wanted to know.

  I looked over to the table at Alex staring at me.

  “Daddy’s here.”

  “Me tell him, I feed a fish.”

  I walked over and handed Alex my phone.

  “Hey, baby girl. What are you doing? I miss you a whole bunch.”

  I didn’t talk to Maddie again, she was off doing something else thirty seconds after her phone call with her dad.

  “We should get her a fish aquarium,” he said, handing me my phone.

  “Oh, no, we shouldn’t. I hate those fish.”

  He smiled. He wasn’t his normal flamboyant self. I could tell.

  “Hey, I’m sorry about last night,” I said. Unlike him, I remembered everything that I did. I was also sure had he not stopped me, I would have been standing there hating myself.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said, standing. “I’ve got to meet my parents for a movie premiere. Do you want to come?”

  “No, I’ll let you go. I’m not feeling the best,” I smiled a weak smile.

  He smiled back.

  I stayed home alone and slept most of the day. Regan texted, telling me how much she hated me for not coming with Alex. She was at the premiere, not feeling the best herself, I was sure. I had planned on getting up and cooking. I couldn’t do it. I was too hung over, and the thought of food turned my stomach.

  By ten o’clock I wanted to call him. I didn’t have that right. Where was he? Why wasn’t he home yet? “REGAN!” I said out loud, reaching for my phone.

  “Hey,” she answered.

  “Hey, you home?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “I was just wondering where Alex was. He’s not home yet.”

  “Oh, yeah, um, we left around five. He was still there. Did you call him?” She was stammering. What was she hiding?

  “No, I didn’t want him to think I was checking up on him or something.”

  “Call him, Whitley. Check up on him. I’ll see you later.”

  What the hell did that mean? She knew something. Was he with someone? Oh my God, he was with someone. Wait, did it matter? No, it didn’t matter. We didn’t have that kind of relationship.

  I stayed up until I saw the headlights pull into the drive just before midnight. I ran to my room and jumped into bed, feigning sleep. I don’t know why I was so mad. I didn’t care if he was with someone. Maybe because he rejected me the night before. He really did just want me for Maddie. Maybe that’s what it was.

  I once again stayed in my room most of the morning. I got up around eleven, deciding I needed to get away. I just needed a day or two away from him. I wanted to go home. This wasn’t my home. I didn’t belong there.

  “Yeah?” I said, hearing the tap while packing a few things. I didn’t need much. I still had things there.

  “You leaving?” Alex asked. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t need to see him.

  “Yeah, I’m going to get Maddie and go home for a couple of days.”

  “You okay?”

  “Were you with someone last night?” Jesus Christ, I didn’t want to blurt that out. I didn’t care.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Whit, talk to me please.”

  “Just let me go, Alex.”

  “You’re not taking my daughter away from me.”

  “I didn’t say I was. I just need to get away for a couple days.”

  “Do you not want me to be with anyone, Whit?”

  How the hell was I supposed to answer that? We didn’t have ties. The only tie even keeping us talking was Maddie.

  I snickered and shook my head. “I don’t care if you’re with someone. I’ll text you and let you know when I get to my dad’s.” I brushed past him and right out the front door. I didn’t turn back. He pretty much just admitted to being with someone. I didn’t care.

  I backed out of the drive, not looking to Alex standing in the doorway. I wished I had my old truck. I didn’t want to drive his stupid fancy car, well, maybe I did just little. I set the GPS in the middle of the dash, not really needing it. It was pretty much the same highway the whole trip. I just liked it, it was neat as hell. Alex set the little car as a pink little buggy that looked like a Barbie car, because Maddie liked that one. I liked the one that looked like a blue mud truck. Maddie won; the little pink Barbie car followed the line that would take me home. To my home where I belonged, where Maddie belonged.

  I called my dad, letting him know that I was coming, and making up some story about Alex having to go out of town for a few days. I didn’t get to talk to Maddie, Jaron had her down by the river fishing.

  “You wouldn’t want to help me out in the dining room tonight, would you?” my dad asked.

  “Why? Naomi going to be late again?”

  “Actually, it’s not Naomi this time. It’s Becky. She has some class she has to do tonight.”

  “I would love to work the dining room,” I decided. As much as I hated it, I missed it. I missed my friends, my dad, Dana, and Jaron. God I missed Jaron. Reed, not so much, but I was seeing one of them during my visit, preferably Jaron, but Reed would do. My little beach, I missed that too. Maddie and I were spending as much time there as possible. My bed, in my own bedroom, in my own house. I couldn’t wait to sleep in my bed, not that the one at Alex’s wasn’t comfortable. I slept amazing in that bed, but it still wasn’t my bed. Maddie on the other hand would probably rather have her bed at her dad’s. She was still in a toddler bed at my house.

  <><><>

  Maddie was running to the car before I could even get out. I smiled when I saw her, running full force to greet me in her purple shorts, leopard print shirt, and green cowboy boots. I was sure she dressed herself that morning.

  I grabbed her up and hugged her tight. “I missed you,” I said, kissing her little cheeks.

  “Where my daddy go?” was the first words out of her mouth.
/>   “Daddy is working. Why do you smell like pancake syrup?”

  “I did feed a fish,” she assured me. I knew exactly what it meant.

  “Did you feed the fish pancakes?”

  “Uh-huh, dem wike it.”

  “I’ll be up in a little bit. I want to run back to the house for a while,” I told my dad, wanting to throw Maddie in the tub and just be home.

  “I can drive?”

  “Yes, you can drive.” I swore my child would live on a fish hatchery and race cars when she grew up.

  I smiled as soon as I saw my old pickup truck parked in our lane. I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel.

  I walked around opening windows while Maddie played in the tub. “Hello,” I answered, rolling my eyes at Alex calling ten minutes in the door.

  “I thought you were going to text me and let me know you made it there okay.”

  “I have been here like twenty minutes.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Opening windows, it smells musty in here.”

  “Let me talk to Maddie.”

  “She’s in the tub. She’ll call you later.”

  “She’s in the tub and you’re walking around opening windows?”

  “Yeah, Alex. I don’t live in a house like you do. I can see or hear her in every room of my house. She’s fine.”

  “You do live in a house like I do. I’ll talk to you later.”

  Shoot. I wanted to hang up first.

  <><><>

  I fell right back into my old life. I even worked the front gate and checked guests in, a couple of days. I didn’t talk to Alex at all. I would hand Maddie the phone every time. By Wednesday he was getting a little on the angry side.

  “My daddy talk a you now,” Maddie said, handing me the phone.

  “When are you coming home? You said a couple of days. It’s been three.”

  “I am home.”

  “Are we going to do this, Whitley?”

  “No Alex, I was just informing you that this is my home. I’ll be home tomorrow.” Click.

  I didn’t go home the next day, using the excuse that my dad needed my help in the dining room. He didn’t, I just couldn’t make myself get in that car and turn it in the right direction. The next day I told him that I would be home on Friday and then Saturday. I knew I had to go. I would go Sunday for sure. I just wanted to party with my friends and have a good time before I left. I used Maddie Saturday, telling him that my dad and Dana wanted to take her to the county fair. It wasn’t a lie. They were taking her, she was spending the night and mommy would be driving them home with a hangover and hopefully some sexual tension relief.

  Hmmm, this wasn’t going to work like it always did. I couldn’t rub all over Jaron and tease him like I normally did. They all knew that I was with Alex now. That wasn’t going to work. I grinded with Naomi instead, giving Jaron the eye where only he could see. He knew my intentions. He smiled and shook his head many times.

  “WHAT?” I finally answered Alex after about ten times. My god. He knew I didn’t have Maddie.

  “Where are you?”

  “Why does it matter?”

  “I asked where you were.”

  “I’m down at the fire with my friends.”

  “And where is my daughter?”

  “You know where she is. I told you what she was doing. She went to the fair with my dad and then she’s spending the night with them. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Click.

  By midnight the party had come to an end. I was normally one of the first to leave. I wasn’t leaving without Jaron. Naomi was the first to leave. I was glad that she had to get up and work the dining room. The few people that were left were guests that I didn’t know, nor did I care about. I moved between Jaron’s legs, sitting on the tailgate of his truck. He looked at me with a peculiar grin.

  “What are you doing, you little conniver?” he asked.

  “What does it look like I am doing?”

  “What’s the matter? Rich guy not so good in bed?”

  I wasn’t talking about that with him. I hadn’t had sex with him since he raped me. I had no clue how he was in bed. “You know how I get when I’m drunk.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Get what?”

  “If you’re so in love with this guy, why are you trying to get me in bed?”

  “I don’t have to try to get you in bed. You just follow me when you think you might have a chance at getting me in bed.”

  “I’m not following you. You have a boyfriend that you live with now. You’re chasing me, why Whitley?”

  I got close to his ear and kissed just in front. “Because I am horny, and I know what you can do to me. Come home with me,” I whispered.

  “And what would your boyfriend think about me moving in on his territory?”

  “He’s not going to know, come on,” I coaxed, pulling his hand.

  Jaron got behind the wheel of my golf cart and drove us to my house. I couldn’t wait. I was overly frustrated and excited. I needed this. I needed him to feed my craving before I went back to Alex’s.

  I was completely naked before we ever made it to my bed. Jaron didn’t waste any time either. He was slamming into me, sending my eyes to the back of my head in seconds. Son of a bitch he felt amazing.

  “What?” I asked when he stopped.

  “Did you hear that?”

  “Hear what?”

  “I heard a car door.”

  “No, you didn’t, go down on me,” I beckoned, pushing his shoulders down.

  I moaned when I felt him slide all the way out of me and move down.

  I moaned even louder when I felt his tongue slide through my slit and then focus on my throbbing clit. I was going to last 2.7 seconds. Jesus God, he was amazing, or his tongue was anyway. Jaron aggressively paid close attention to my swollen nub, I was right there, right at the brink when I called out and then jumped when the overhead light was shining in my eyes above the bed.

  Jaron jumped up, grabbed his jeans, and covered himself. I closed my legs and grabbed the comforter to cover myself. I couldn’t speak. I was mortified. Alex had just walked in to Jaron eating me out. Not only that, I was in the middle of an orgasm that was halted thanks to him.

  “Hey man, I don’t want any trouble,” Jaron said, holding up one hand still covering himself with his clothes.

  “You always take little girls to bed?” Alex calmly asked. I knew he was speaking of the age difference.

  Little girls?! Really?

  “Um, would you turn that down?” Jaron asked, turning to me as I just sat frozen in time, watching the spectacle in front of me.

  “Get out,” Alex demanded in a composed voice. I could tell that he was pissed, but his voice didn’t show it.

  Jaron scurried past him and right out the door. Alex just stood there staring as I sat stunned, not knowing what to say.

  He closed the door and left. What the hell was I supposed to do? Did I go yell at him? Did I just hide from him and sweep it under the rug? What the hell would I even say? I chose the rug. I wasn’t saying a word, nor was I about to walk out there. Oh God, that didn’t just happen.

  I heard the television come on and assumed he was sleeping on my sofa. I never said he could stay there. Why the hell did Alex Wesson think he could do whatever the hell he wanted to do? What gave him the right to storm in my room and throw Jaron out like he owned me or something? Ugh, because he did. It was all one big lie that I was forced to go along with.

  I got up the following morning when I heard Maddie. Did my dad bring her back? He didn’t usually do that. Did Alex go get her? Ah man, I had to open the door and face him. I didn’t want to. The only thing that kept coming to mind was the whole nightmare from the night before; me laying spread eagle exposed with Jaron’s mouth in my pussy. I couldn’t face him. God, I had to. I hated my life and I hated Alex Stupid Wesson.

  “I eat a eggs,” Maddie said seeing me.

  “Hi, baby. Did you have fun a
t the fair?” I asked, not looking at Alex stirring eggs in the kitchen.

  “Uh-huh, I wide a horse.”

  “You did!”

  “Uh-huh, him go wound and wound and wound,” she explained, demonstrating with her hands in clumsy circles.

  I sat at the table with her not about to go into the kitchen to get the much needed coffee. Alex walked over and sat a cup in front of me. I was a little shocked that it was light in color. He added my milk. I still didn’t look up. I couldn’t look at him.

  “Thank you,” I mumbled.

  I engaged in three year old conversation while Alex cooked. He sat Maddie’s scrambled eggs in front or her with a slice of toast.

  “You have a cut wike dis, Daddy,” she said, running her finger diagonally across the toast. He smiled at her and took it back. “And me need a sticky stuff,” she explained.

  “Sticky stuff? You mean jelly?”

  “Uh-huh, de wed kind.”

  “Strawberry,” I offered, helping out.

  I looked up when Alex set a plate of eggs and toast in front of me as well. Our eyes made an awkward contact. I quickly reverted my eyes to my plate of scrambled eggs and thanked him. Why did I feel so ashamed when he looked at me? Why did he make me feel that way?

  “We’re leaving after lunch with your family,” Alex assured me.

  “Sure we are,” I smartly replied sticking a fork full of eggs.

  “Maddie, use your fork,” he said, ignoring my comment.

  “No, me not want to,” Maddie exclaimed. That’s my girl.

  “Use your fork or Daddy’s going to put you in time-out.”

  “No time-out here. I not have a steps,” she said, looking at him like he was crazy. We both snickered at her relating only having time-out at Alex’s on the bottom step.

  “I sweep in a big bed,” she said, picking up the fork, knowing it was probably in her best interest to do so.

  “Yes, you’re going home and sleeping in your big bed tonight, and daddy will read you a bedtime story. I missed you. You can’t stay away from me that long,” Alex told Maddie, looking directly at me.

  <><><>

  “Where is your car?” I asked, as we locked up and headed to the dining room for lunch with my dad and Dana.