Malice in Wonderland Bundle 3

by Lotus Rose

  “The Road is holding them up with a new situation,” Elisa explains.

  Humpty nods, and says, “And we no doubt have one of our own coming up as well. The Hatter is next, right?”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  UP AHEAD, THEY SEE another bed in a grass field. A body-shaped lump lies under the blanket, which Malice assumes is Hatter.

  A few feet from the bed, a human-sized rag doll sits in an ornate golden-gilded throne. The doll has no facial features—only smooth white cloth on an oval pillowy-head. It wears a slim black dress, a black lace choker, and a plushy blue cloth crown. It looks like an oversized child’s doll.

  “It seems he’s still asleep,” Fred says. “He had trouble falling asleep last night as well.”

  Sleepy B says, “Why is there a huge doll?”

  “It shall be his companion if he chooses to stay by the side of the Road. Come...”

  When the team arrives at the bed, Malice can now see that the words “Not-Malice” have been stitched in thread onto the otherwise-blank dollface.

  The Cat remarks on that, “She seems vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite place the face.”

  “It would seem that the doll is not me,” Malice says, “in case it was unclear.”

  Sleepy B says to Elisa, “Why is it labeled, Not-Malice?”

  Elisa answers, “You should wake the Mad Hatter and ask him yourself. Malice, I must warn you, he may not recognize you.”

  “Why not?”

  It is Fred who answers, “The Road is providing him a bit of a skewed perception of reality to ease his troubled mind. I suggest now is a good time to speak to him directly.”

  “And remember,” Elisa says, “as soon as Dorothy and her knight complete their situation, they shall be coming along the road.”

  Sleepy B looks at Malice and gives a nod. “Wakey wakey Hatty,” Sleepy B says gently, but loudly.

  The lump startles a little, before Hatter groans, and says, “Just five more minutes.”

  “No, no,” Sleepy B says. “We’re in a bit of a hurry, you see. Now rise and shine.” She pulls the blanket down to reveal a curled-up Mad Hatter, in his tunic and trousers.

  “Oh, crikey,” he says. “I was up all night on that poppy, examining my thoughts and feelings and determining what I want for myself in the future and such. I finally managed to get some sleep, until now, that is.” He smooths his hair and puts on his hat, which had been sitting on the ground. “It’s good to see you all once more before you go on without me, leaving me here in my own private paradise.”

  “What about me, love?” Malice says. “Do you remember me?”

  He looks at her with a puzzled expression, before his face lights up and he grins hugely. “Of course not, miss. And, forgive me if I’m being rude, but are you aware that you have no facial features whatsoever?”

  “I strongly disagree,” Malice says. “But irregardless, I’m sure we shall work all the details out later. But I’m telling you now, that I’m Malice, your dear friend and I care about you in a friend way and shall miss you greatly, even though I have my new heart, so I shall have to start over as far as romance and love is concerned.”

  Hatter looks startled. “Love! I can’t even stand that word! I want no part of that atrocious wantonness, I assure you. That is why I shall choose to stay here, in my own little love-free area, where I shall wallow in self pity and worship my Not-Queen, Not-Malice.” And he points at the doll.

  Malice groans and lifts her hands in an exasperated manner. “I should’ve known this wouldn’t be simple. Okay, I’ll bite. Might you, if you please, inform me as to why the doll is labeled, Not-Malice?”

  Hatter looks taken aback, before saying, “Why, because that’s her name, silly billy.”

  “I must say, her name seems somehow related to my own.”

  “Oh? And you are?”

  She grits her teeth. “Malice. Do you remember me?”

  “I’m sorry, miss, I can’t quite place your face, due to your lack of even having one on. Your voice does seem vaguely familiar, though.”

  “Last time I checked, I did have a face. But my voice! You recognize my voice!”

  Hatter looks puzzled, and appears to think about it. “Perhaps, maybe... I’m not sure. However, it does remind me a great deal of how my not-beloved, Not-Malice would sound, if she ever spoke.”

  “Not-beloved?!” Malice says. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I do not love her, nor she me. But she is quite tolerant of me, and she doesn’t wander, and so I worship her.”

  “Yeesh,” the Cat mutters.

  “He’s blocked you out,” the Jabberwock says to Malice. “Wishful thinking.”

  Malice shoots him a questioning look, and he beckons to her.

  When she leans her ear into his harnessed head, he whispers, “I think he’s using the Road’s influence to erase your very existence from his mind. He seems to think that doll is alive or something, like when I thought the munchkin girl was my mother. Perhaps his memories of you are too painful for him—he seems to hate the idea of love. I think you must get him to see you again and accept you and the quest for love, also. Then he’ll come with us. But we must do it fast, because—”

  Malice nods and says, “Dorothy. And I think you’re right about all you said.” She takes a deep breath. “Let’s get to the heart of this matter.” She walks back up to Hatter, says, “How long have you known Not-Malice?”

  He thinks, looks confused, and shrugs. “I don’t recall. The majesty of Not-Malice is timeless.”

  “And Not-Malice doesn’t talk, or move? Doesn’t that strike you as odd?”

  He shrugs. “She chooses not to, for reasons known only to her. My Queen is both serene and mysterious.”

  Malice takes a calming breath. “Please help me understand why you would choose to stay here worshiping an unresponsive queen rather than traveling with me, Malice?”

  “Who?”

  “Malice.”

  “What an interesting name. First I’ve ever heard of that name, um, that I seem to have momentarily forgotten again. Apologies.”

  Sleepy B says, “Here’s a handy memory tool—it’s similar to the name, Not-Malice, except without the ‘Not’ in front.”

  “I don’t see the similarity,” Hatter says.

  “What? How can you—” Malice says, before Elisa interrupts, saying, “Malice...”

  “That’s my name...”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  ELISA SAYS, “I SUGGEST you speed things up. Dorothy and the Tin Knight are rapidly progressing through their situation.”

  “And you know this, how?” Malice says.

  She answers, “As guides, the Road makes certain things known to us. I thought that was already explained to you.”

  “Yes, of course,” Malice says. “I’ll speed things up, excuse me.” Since she thinks the conversation will probably go faster if she refers to herself in the third person, she says, “So I think the fact the queen is named Not-Malice is somewhat of a clue. Are you mad at Malice for some reason. Did she hurt you?”

  “I don’t know, but I know she won’t do it again, even though I don’t know who you’re referring to.”

  “Hmmm, I see. Tell me, do you think you can avoid love by staying here with Not-Malice?”

  “Ahhhh!” Hatter shouts. “The L word! But that’s exactly what I think. I hate the word and the very concept!” He slaps his chest a couple of times with his hand to emphasize his point.

  Malice gives him a compassionate look, though she doubts he’ll see it. “Aww, poor Hatty. Are you afraid to fall in love? Is that what this is all about?”

  “Yes. I did a lot of thinking and soul-searching while I was hopped up on that wacky flower. It helped me realize a lot of things about myself.”

  “Tell me, Hatty. Tell me what’s going on inside you, briefly and concisely.” So I can use the information to get you to dump your doll girlfriend...

  He takes a strengthening br
eath. “I’ve never been in love, not in that serious sort of way. I’ve never fallen head over heels. But I—” He gnaws at his lip in worry. “I can only admit these things, because I’ll likely never see you all again, but love used to be the thing I yearned for the most in the world. But it also terrified me, because I realized that if I ever fell head over heels for someone, that could be very painful and I could end up getting hurt.”

  The Cat says, “Yes I can see how falling ‘head over heels’ can be painful, especially if you land wrong.”

  “Exactly,” Hatter says. “I’m terrified of falling too hard for someone, only to have them reject me and break my heart. I don’t wish to be a ‘fool for love’ as they call it. That is why I’m choosing to forget all about anyone in my past I might have almost fallen in love with, and stay here with my perfect woman—an inanimate doll object.”

  “That’s no good,” Humpty mutters to himself.

  Even though he was talking to himself, Sleepy B replies, “Yes, it’s a bit mental.”

  “Yes, I’m mental!” Hatter proclaims. “And I’m glad to be so! But that’s part of the problem—the world doesn’t want me to be. They wish me to be cured. Most girls would not accept me and my madness, wouldn’t embrace it as I do. In fact, most people would want me to ask to have my madness cured if I visited the Wizard. That’s yet another reason for me to stay here, and not go down the Road. I never want my madness cured, yet what girl in her right mind would not only tolerate, but embrace my madness? But you know what? Not-Malice doesn’t mind, because she’s a non-moving, human-shaped fluffy pillow.”

  Malice says, “You say you fear being rejected, but don’t you see that you’re the one rejecting any girl who might have feelings for you? Maybe you’re breaking their hearts.”

  “Yes, I have considered that. That’s the way it goes when you’re dealing with a live, living, breathing girl. That’s why Not-Malice is perfect. She’ll never make me fall in love with her—she’ll merely quietly accept my worship. And so, too, I can never hurt her—I can never break her heart—I don’t think she even has one. She’ll never fall head over heels for me and end up getting hurt, because she can’t even move.”

  Malice is thrown for a few moments—something seems off about what he just said.

  The Cat says, “And she can’t talk back. I’m almost jealous.”

  Hatter says, “I don’t know if she can’t talk, or merely chooses not to, for the ways of my mistress are mysterious.”

  Now it dawns on Malice. Oh my goodness! Does he not realize it’s just a phrase?! Does he actually think people ‘fall head over heels’?! Blimey.

  Sleepy B says, “But how can you worship a doll? You can’t love her, she can’t love you. She can’t even respond to you or even smile.”

  Hatter says, “That way, no one gets hurt. She also can’t reject me, can’t get tired of me, can’t grow to hate my madness and ask me to become sane. If I stay here, I can stay safe and insane, and be free from love, and never ever get my heart broken.”

  Malice’s eyes ping rapidly from side to side as she tries to think of a way to change Hatter’s mind. Head over heels. A glimmer of an idea is shaping in her mind. How can I take advantage of his literal interpretation?

  “It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved before,” the Jabberwock intones.

  “What a cliche’ thing to say,” Hatter replies, and rolls his eyes.

  “By Jove, I’ve got it!” Malice says out loud, grinning big.

  “A cold? I’m sorry you’re sick,” Hatter says.

  Malice doesn’t reply to that. She turns to Hatter and smiles, though he won’t see it. “You say that staying here with Not-Malice shall keep you safe from the ravages of love, but what if you’re mistaken?”

  A look of worry crosses Hatter’s face. “How would I be so?”

  “Tell me, Hatty, what exactly do you mean when you say someone ‘falls head over heels’—what happens to them?”

  “Aw, you must have never fallen in love either—not so surprising, considering your absence of a face, no offense. Well, when someone falls ‘head over heels’, it means their head comes off and drops past their heels.”

  “Crikey,” Humpty mutters.

  “That’s not—” Sleepy B starts, but Malice shoots her a look to silence her, before Malice says, “But what if some day, Not-Malice actually did fall head-over-heels in love for you? Hypothetically speaking. Just humour me.”

  Hatter thinks for a moment. “Well, then I suppose it would mean that staying with her wasn’t so safe after all—she’d still end up hurt.”

  Sleepy B says, “Perhaps it’d mean there’s no way to avoid love. There’s no escaaape! Mwah hah hah!”

  “Perhaps so,” Hatter says. “If that happened, which it won’t.”

  Malice says, “I daresay, if Not-Malice did fall head over heels, you might as well give up and go seek a real live girl, because as long as you can’t avoid love, you might as well make a proper go of it, righto?”

  Hatter says, “But if Not-Malice falls head-over-heels, that’s still only one out of two of us getting hurt. It’s still preferable to me being rejected and broken hearted from a real live girl. Not-Malice shall never reject me. It’s impossible, you see.”

  “But if she did?” Malice says.

  “Well, if she did that as well as falling head over heels for me, then that would mean that two out of two of us would end up hurt, which would mean I might as well just give up the notion of avoiding love, might as well embrace the pursuit of love with full gusto. Of course, it won’t happen. It’s impossible.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Not-Malice says. Her voice sounds a lot like Malice’s, which makes sense, because the doll’s newfound talkativeness is due to Malice throwing her voice.

  Hatter peers at the doll with a puzzled expression that risks shifting into disbelief. Malice, being used to Hatter’s madness, must now take advantage of it as she voice-projects, “That’s right, your glorious insanity has infected me, and I am powerless before its might. I am now madly in love with you!”

  “What?!” Hatter says to the doll. “That can’t be, Queen Not-Malice. You don’t know what you’re saying—after all, you only recently learned to talk. Surely, you’re mistaken.”

  “I’m not,” says Not-Malice. “I love you so much. Like, a lot! So, that means you shall abandon your plan to stay here, and join the team, right?”

  He shakes his head. “It might mean that, if it were true. How do you even know what love is? You might feel fondness of affection, but love is a powerful emotion that you don’t even know what it is, for you’ve never felt it—that’s what I think. Pardon me if I’m offensive—you seem quite a lovely doll—but I just don’t think you feel love. So I shall stay here with you. Good news.”

  “Bugger,” Malice mutters without remembering to throw her voice.

  Hatter whips his head at her, and Malice fears she’s been found out, but Hatter turns back to say to Not-Malice, “Oi! That’s brilliant! I didn’t know you could throw your voice!”

  “That’s funny,” Sleepy B says under her breath, and Elisa giggles.

  And Malice stifles her urge to groan. She knows she has to take the next dramatic step, if she hopes to save dear Hatty, so she makes Not-Malice say, “What if I were to fall head over heels for you? Would that convince you?”

  “Of course. But how? You can’t even move...” His eyes widen. “...or can you?”

  Not-Malice says, “The power of my love for you, has granted my head the ability of movement.”

  “Love has brought her to life!” Sleepy B says in mock wonder.

  Malice doesn’t have time to chastise the girl. Instead, she makes Not-Malice say, “Hatty, honey, I wish to show you something, but first, I want you to stand in front of me...take a couple steps back, please. Now, I ask you to cover your eyes until I tell you to take your hands off... Good.”

  Now Malice grabs the doll’s legs and l
ifts them so that its legs jut out at a right angle to its torso—quite uncomfortable it would be, if she was a real person. Its legs flop over the arm of the chair and its feet dangle. Malice wants to make sure that the head will drop past the feet, thus fulfilling the head over heels mandate.

  With that task done, Malice slips behind the throne intending to hide behind the doll, and hoping the act of beheading doesn’t send floating fluff into the air.

  But she doesn’t even have to grab her knife, because peeking out from underneath the back of the lace choker, she sees the dangling handle of a new invention known as a “zipper”—it is the “zipper” that is keeping the head attached.

  How curious and convenient. It’s as if this has all been set up as a kind of challenge to be solved. And as a citizen of Wonderland, she’s quite used to “situations” being set up in a challenge format, so she doesn’t give it a second thought, merely unzips the head.

  “What’s that sound?” Hatter says.

  “It’s my head separating from my body, love.” She’s holding the head with a grip of its pillowy back side as she hides as best she can behind the throne. “Now open your eyes, my love.”

  “I implore you not to call me that,”—he pulls his hands away, opens his eyes—“for you don’t mean it.”

  “Oh, but I do. And I shall show you. Watch now, as I fall head over heels in love with you!” She moves the head a bit off to the side, before giving it a little toss. Her aim is true, as the head falls past the feet onto the ground.

  “Oh no!” Hatter shouts out mournfully.

  The head of Not-Malice says, “Oh, look what you made me do! You made me lose my head! As of this moment I no longer love you anymore! I reject you and I’m breaking up with you!”

  Malice comes out from behind the throne. “Oh, no! Look what happened! So now you realize you can’t avoid the ravages of love, right?”

  Hatter sighs and nods. “Quite.”