Jacob's Daughter: Book One

by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

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  CHAPTER 9

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  Lizzie wrung her hands while her aenti prepared kaffi and sliced cake for the neighbors who had already arrived back at the B&B empty-handed. Though the original plan was for everyone to meet back at the B&B at noon whether they’d found her or not, Lizzie wasn’t certain she could wait even another minute.

  “We have to call the police, Aunt Bess!”

  Bess steered her to an empty chair. “You know better than anyone that the police will not consider her missing for another few hours. And we still have people out looking. There are three, including your daed who have not yet reported back here. We’ll wait a few more minutes on them before we make the call. It’s nearly noon. I know it’s tough, but give it until your daed arrives.”

  Tears welled up in Lizzie’s eyes threatening to spill over, but she swallowed them down, determined to brave this out for Abby’s sake. She offered up a plea to Gott, asking for forgiveness for her past mistakes, asking that He not hold it against Abby for the way she came into this world. Guilt consumed her, despite every effort to let Gott heal her of her past transgressions. At the moment, she didn’t feel very forgivable.

  ****

  Jacob assisted Abby onto the front bench of the buggy alongside him and Caleb. The kind was fascinated by the mode of transportation, exclaiming she felt like she’d stepped into the pages of a fairytale. He imagined what it would be like to be Abby’s daed. He’d wanted a dochder, but he never got that opportunity since his fraa died. The fact remained; Abby was not his kind, and he needed to return her to Lizzie. The very thought of Lizzie heated his face. Was it possible he still had feelings for her?

  ****

  Hiram Miller pulled into the yard of the B&B, his buwe, Seth seated next to him. Seth jumped from the buggy the moment he saw Lizzie and ran to her, pulling her into his arms.

  “We thought you were dot.”

  Lizzie wriggled from his strong arms. “I’m still very much alive! You’re all grown up, little bruder.”

  He ruffled Lizzie’s hair. “I’m taller than you are now, so you can’t tease me anymore.”

  Lizzie smiled at her younger sibling until her daed stepped into her line of vision, a stern look on his face.

  “Does your presence here mean you’ve finally put your rumspringa behind you, and you’re ready to fully embrace our faith?”

  Lizzie lowered her gaze in respect. “Jah.”

  “Das gut. When we find the missing kind I will fetch the Bishop and we will get you baptized at once.”

  Lizzie kept her eyes downcast. “Daed, the missing kind is my dochder and she’s your kinskind.”

  Before he could say a word, another buggy pulled into the yard and Abby jumped out, rushing to Lizzie’s side. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to run off. But I found my dad!”

  No sooner had she said it, than a handsome man with familiar, blue-green eyes stood before them holding Abby’s suitcase out to her. She looked at the boy-turned-man, the very one she used to love. The boyish glint in his eyes was replaced by small crow’s feet in the corners. The sides of his sandy brown hair were peppered with a little gray. But his chin was clean-shaven. If it was possible, he was even more handsome than she’d thought when they were teenagers. He was no longer a skinny teenager, but a well-built man who still made her heart flutter.

  Abby slipped her hand in Jacob’s. “See Mom, I found my father.”

  Lizzie looked into Jacob’s face, her heart slamming against her chest wall at her daughter’s blunt words.

  Hiram Miller pushed between them. “Is this true, Jacob? Did you vadder this kind?”

  Jacob swallowed. “Maybe we should all go inside and have a talk about this.”

  Hiram pursed his lips. “There is nothing to talk about. Seth, go fetch the Bishop. Tell him we will be needing him for a confession and a hochzich. Elizabeth, you get into a blue dress, and get out of those Englisch clothes at once.”

  Lizzie stomped her foot. “Daed, you can’t make me marry this man! I don’t even know him anymore.”

  Hiram narrowed his eyes at Lizzie. “You knew him well enough to have a boppli. I knew I should have taken sooner measures to separate the two of you instead waiting like a fool, thinking I could trust either of you.”

  His harsh words rang in Lizzie’s and Jacob’s ears, causing them to look at one another with grief.

  “Ach, you’re the one that broke us apart all those years ago? David told me Lizzie—Elizabeth—didn’t wish to see me anymore.”

  The sound of her name on Jacob’s lips sent a wave of heat through her belly. He was the only one that had called her Lizzie. What once had been a term of endearment had become her permanent legal name. And now her father was ruining every memory she had of Jacob and trying to force them to marry over a mistake she had made in placing Jacob’s name on Abby’s birth certificate as a measure to keep her safe from Eddie.

  “Daed, did you tell my bruder to lie to me about Jacob not wanting to see me anymore?”

  Hiram narrowed his eyes. “I was doing what was best for you, but it seems that you allowed Jacob to disgrace you and compromise you before I could end it.”

  “But I didn’t…”

  “Silence dochder. If you want to remain in this community you will marry Jacob and make this right. “

  Hiram turned to Jacob, who was looking into the hopeful eyes of his own son. “What have you to say for your actions? To vadder two kinner so close in age—it’s disgraceful. And marrying another after the way you behaved with my dochder. You should have married my dochder, but instead you married poor Nellie Fisher and planted your seed with her too! Have you no shame?”

  As shocked as he was by Hiram Miller’s accusations, Jacob knew that to deny the claim would be to risk being shunned, especially if his name really was on the child’s birth certificate. The community would have no reason to doubt Lizzie’s word or her honor. Yes, an admission would be a way to give Caleb the new mamm that he desired, but above all, he didn’t want to be the reason Lizzie left the community a second time since they’d not had any closure the first time. And here she was standing before him now, looking more lovely than he ever imagined.

  “Forgive me, Hiram. I will marry Elizabeth and make this right.”

  Lizzie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “But Jacob, you can’t…”

  Hiram stepped between them. “When Seth returns with the Bishop we will have two confessions and a wedding.”

  Lizzie couldn’t look at Jacob. She was so embarrassed. Abby clung to her side, and Caleb stepped forward and slipped his hand in hers.

  “I’m Caleb. I’m froh you will be my new mamm.”

  His statement nearly broke her heart, and from the look on Jacob’s downcast face, it had affected him the same way. Lizzie couldn’t help but smile back at Caleb, his innocent eyes gleaming.

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  CHAPTER 10

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  Lizzie had very little recollection of what happened for the next few hours while she was coerced into a confession, baptized, and finally married. Thankfully, she’d remembered her aenti’s advice regarding a general confession. She knew that the way Abby was brought into this world was against the ways of the people, and Gott’s word, so she felt relief that she was finally rid of the burden she’d carried for the past eleven years. Abby had given her a little grief when she was dressing in the blue dress that her aenti had loaned her, but she quickly calmed down when she realized she would finally have the dad she had wanted her entire ten years.

  Before Lizzie realized, her daed and aenti were hugging her and welcoming her back into the community. She couldn’t help but weep happy tears that her daed and brieder were back in her life. And she had a husband, which would finally allow her to hold her head up. But her heart quickened at the thought of being married to a man she once loved as a young girl, but who was now a stranger
to her in every way. Even at their ceremony there was no exchange of a kiss between them. She knew she could learn to love him again; she already respected him for not shaming her in front of her family, and was grateful he’d taken the blame away from her. She would have a lifetime with him to try to make up for the position she’d put him in, and hoped he would eventually forgive her.

  ****

  Jacob watched Lizzie as she pasted on a smile from ear to ear while her familye welcomed her back into the community, and he told himself he’d done the right thing. For him, Caleb, and for Lizzie and Abby. Having a fraa would be good for him. He had to admit that he was nervous about her expectations, and wasn’t sure he was immediately ready to fulfill any obligations other than provider. It would take him a while to let go of the irritation he felt over being forced into a marriage that he would have preferred to decide for himself. She was beautiful, and he was certainly attracted to her, but she had been living among the Englisch for the past ten-plus years, and he had no idea what kind of person she’d become. Only the fact that she’d accepted the baptism, had he felt comfortable enough to have her as his son’s mamm.

  He continued to watch her as she made her way through the friends and family that had been present after arriving for the earlier search of Abby. Since they had remained for the wedding, he felt obligated to greet them and accept their well-wishes along-side his fraa, but he couldn’t help but be mesmerized by this woman who was now his fraa, and yet a stranger in every way.

  ****

  Caleb led Abby out to the barn to play with the kittens that Aunt Bess had told them about. Abby was unsure of her new role as big sister, and wasn’t sure she could get used to the way they talked. But she was happiest about having a new dad, and a little brother was a small price to pay for that. She only hoped he wasn’t whiny or needy the way her friend’s siblings had been when she visited them.

  “Is your aenti going to let us take one of the kittens home with us?”

  “What do you mean home? I live here now.”

  “You will move into our haus now since your mamm married my daed—our daed.”

  “I don’t think we’re moving in your house.”

  “When my friend’s daed married his new mamm, she moved in their house with them.”

  “If I move in with you do I get my own horse?”

  “If you ask daed he will get you one. I have my own horse, and chickens, and a milking cow.”

  “I don’t want any of that—just a horse. And one of these cute little kittens.”

  Caleb picked up a black kitten with white paws. “I want this one.”

  Abby snuggled up to two of them who purred and nuzzled her neck. “I want them all.”

  “We might be able to convince daed to let us each have one if we tell him they’ll be good mousers.”

  “No! I don’t want them catching mice. That’s terrible and I won’t let my kitten kill cute little mice.”

  “Daed will be more agreeable if we tell him we want them to catch the mice in the barn. They can become a problem when they get into the sacks of grain we use to feed the animals.”

  “I guess you’re right, but I don’t like the idea of it. Do you really think mom and dad will let us keep them?”

  Caleb chuckled. “All we have to do is put on our sad face and daed will give in.”

  Caleb demonstrated his best sad face, and the two of them giggled. Abby thought that maybe having a little brother wouldn’t be so bad after all.

  ****

  Lizzie was so happy to be back with her daed and her younger bruder, Seth, that she had let go of the anger she had felt before the wedding. She would have to find a way to put aside the past, and move beyond the fact that her daed and bruder, David had been the reason she and Jacob had been torn apart all those years ago. And though it still pricked her conscious, she reminded herself she would not have Abby if not for her family’s actions.

  Now, she would have to adjust to raising Nellie’s child as well as her own, and she would do her best to honor her deceased freinden by raising her son with the same love she showed her own dochder.

  Seth approached Lizzie as Abby wandered into the yard toting a rambunctious kitten in her arms. He knelt down beside her. “I’m your Onkel Seth.”

  Abby searched his smile for a moment, and then leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Then will you help me convince my mom to let me have this kitten to take to our new house?”

  Seth winked at Abby. “I’ll try, but my schweschder—sister can be pretty stubborn. But for my new niece, I will try my best.” He patted Abby’s head that had been neatly tucked under a prayer kapp, and stood to meet Lizzie’s scrutiny.

  Lizzie whispered to Seth. “I should probably ask Jacob before I give her an answer. He’s my husband now.”

  Seth nodded before giving her a hug. “I’m froh you are home again. You will see, this will be a gut life for you.”

  Lizzie knew he was right. So why did she feel such a nervous feeling in her gut? For one thing, she wasn’t sure how the sleeping arrangements would work in Jacob’s home, and she wondered what Jacob would expect of her tonight as far as wifely duties.

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  CHAPTER 11

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  “But I don’t like this room, mom! I miss my Hello Kitty posters and my stuffed animals. Can I at least get a new bedspread? This old quilt looks itchy.”

  Lizzie tried to be patient with her dochder, but her tantrums would not fare well with her new husband. He would expect order and harmony under his roof, and it was up to Lizzie to rear Abby in the humble ways of the Amish, and to help rid her of her pride. She’d tried to raise her with the basic values she was instilled with, but she had to admit that raising her Englisch had spoiled her.

  “This is a nice room, Abby. I’m counting on you to accept this room as it is. And tomorrow we will begin to make you a few new dresses. You cannot wear your jeans or shorts anymore.”

  “If I’d known having a new dad would be so tough I would have kept my mouth shut. It’s my fault your dad made you marry him, isn’t it?”

  Lizzie couldn’t lay such a burden on her dochder. It was her own fault. Her deception had caused the chain of events that forced her into a marriage with Jacob.

  “Of course it’s not your fault. The decision for us to be a family was a good one. It will be good for us, you’ll see.”

  Abby stifled a yawn. “Why was your dad so angry with you?”

  “Because I hadn’t been a good daughter. Because I ran away like you did today. I never told him he had a granddaughter and that was wrong for me to keep you apart from my family. And I’m so happy you’re back safe and sound.”

  Lizzie stroked the purring kitten’s fur that was curled up on Abby’s bed. “Get some rest. Soon it will be morning, and you have a lot to learn about being part of an Amish family.”

  Abby folded her arms. “That sounds like you’re gonna give me chores. Caleb told me you would.”

  “It won’t be much different from the cooking and cleaning I’ve already taught you—except it will be done without the use of some of the modern conveniences we’re used to, so it takes a little longer.”

  Abby turned her back. “That sounds like chores to me.”

  Lizzie bent down and kissed her dochder and tucked the quilt around her. After putting out the lamp at her bedside table, she closed the door gently behind her, believing she could already hear Abby snoring lightly. It had been a long day for all of them.

  ****

  Jacob finished nighttime prayers with Caleb, wondering if he should have included Abby. But knowing there would be plenty of time for that once she became better acquainted with the schedule he and Caleb were already used to, it would get easier to incorporate time with his new dochder. He didn’t want to exclude her, but he didn’t want to push Amish ways on her too quickly for fear she would rebel, and that could be cause for discord in the house—something he’d like to keep unde
r control.

  As he left Caleb’s room, he could hear Lizzie conversing quietly with Abby and decided to go to his own room and clear out some space for his new fraa. He felt suddenly strange at the thought of sharing his marriage bed with another woman, and wondered how Lizzie would react.

  A gentle knock at the door startled him. When he opened the door, Lizzie stood with downcast eyes, her hands twisting the corner of her apron. Jacob’s thoughts flashed to a time when he had no trouble pulling her into his arms, but those days had passed, and now he felt unsure of himself.

  “Kume. This is to be your room too. I made some room in the bureau for your things, and there is a separate set of pegs on the far wall where you can hang your dresses and aprons.” Jacob pointed, but Lizzie didn’t follow his hand gesture—her eyes remained downcast, and she hadn’t even stepped one foot inside the room. Part of him felt sorry for her, but the other part of him was still irritated about being forced into a marriage with her before he was ready make that decision for himself. He would have to put it behind him if he was to keep peace under his roof.

  “I can give you some privacy while you ready yourself for the night. I think I’d like a fresh glass of milk and another piece of the cake your aenti sent home with us. Would you like some too? I can bring it up here on a tray if you’d like.”

  Lizzie shook her head, but didn’t say a word. She was already nervous enough without trying to eat something this late at night. A blush rose to her face as he brushed by her to get through the door. Knowing she didn’t have much time before he would return, she closed the door after he walked toward the stairs, and picked up her suitcase from the floor and placed it on the bed. As she pushed open the lid and rifled through her things, she realized she had nothing that was considered proper to sleep in. The only thing she had was a summer nightie that would be considered immodest by her new husband. Spotting a plaid robe on Jacob’s row of pegs across the room, she knew she would be able to pass for proper attire if she wore the robe over her nightgown. The last thing she wanted to do was to begin her new marriage with a lack of propriety. The least she felt she could do for Jacob after he rescued her from shame, would be to honor him in every way. Not only had he married her despite a misunderstanding, but he was giving her and her dochder a roof over their heads, and had agreed to take on the role of vadder to Abby though he wasn’t even her real vadder.