by Blue Saffire
“Da, her niece,” Misha murmurs and I try to place the emotion I hear in his voice. His voice changes with his next words. “But we both know that is not what I mean.”
“Misha,” Czar growls in warning. “It’s been fifteen years. Come on.”
“Fifteen years that were stolen from me,” Misha hisses out.
I feel Sammy’s body stiff at my side, at the sound of Misha’s raised voice. Oh, hell no. I force my lids open to see my brother’s back is partially to me, as he stands at my side. A small smile tips my lips. I know what’s hidden at Czar’s back, beneath his leather bomber jacket.
I slide my eyes to find that big Russian motherfucker. I owe his ass a bullet. He had Carlton murdered and now I’m lying here. I’m tired of his psycho ass. I would love for Misha to find a hot slug from one of my guns, but Czar’s will do.
When my hooded eyes find Misha, I almost suck in a sharp breath. He hasn’t changed. He is still the gorgeous, blue eyed, giant I remember. Hell, he looks larger.
Only, my blood runs cold. I don’t feel the warmth I felt the last time I saw him. When he hugged me goodbye, with a promise to see me again as soon as he could.
Misha’s ice blue eyes are locked on Czar’s. Neither of them realizes that I’m awake. The monitor has mercifully quieted down. I can’t see much more of Czar’s profile than his back, but I see he is scowling.
I move my eyes back to Czar fully, just then he leans back on his heels. “She was sixteen,” Czar hisses back.
My hand is shaky at best, when I move it slightly, but I’m determined. I try not to wince, as the burn in my left shoulder protests. I anchor my left arm around Sammy’s little body pressed into me.
With all the strength, I can muster, I move as fast as I can, pulling one of the guns from the holster at Czar’s back, beneath his jacket. I hold up my shaky hand, aiming right at Misha forehead.
The crazy bastard actually smiles back at me. “That’s moj malen’kij kotenok,” he purrs and tilts his head to the side.
“I’m not your fucking kitten,” I hiss through my dry, raw, throat.
“Net, you are not so little anymore. Tell me, why are you pointing gun at me?” He lifts a blonde brow with his question.
“Because I’m going to put a bullet through your head. Just like your men did to Carlton,” I croak.
~B~
Sam
I’ve spent the last hour, peering over that thick file that has mapped out Tasha’s life over the last eight years. Or should I say, up until five months ago. I never thought to ask why the updates stopped coming.
I had my focus elsewhere. I hadn’t particularly noticed that they stopped. At least once a month, I had updates coming to my office and I would stow them away with the rest. I never read them. I just knew they were there if I needed them.
Czar had been keeping me in the loop on anything Tasha needed or so I thought. Now, I’ve read through her file and feel like I’ve intruded on too much of her life. If that’s what you want to call it. Tasha hasn’t been living. Not the way I hoped that she would.
I don’t know why that angers me so much, but it does. From what I read she never got over the death of her fiancé. She never started to live again. Not really. The few dates she went on and the few friends she has had are painted as such a sad story in this file.
Her life has been anything but normal. That’s not what I wanted for her. It’s not what I tried to give to her, and that fact just pisses me off.
A part of me feels that’s what I owed her and my promise, was broken long ago. Before I allowed her to be gunned down in the middle of the street. It’s no wonder she has appeared here in New York. I don’t blame her for wanting to be near her sister and brother. That has to be better than the life of solitude she’s been putting herself in.
“Daddy,” my girls squeal stopping me in my tracks.
Hearing my little girls’ voices, pulls me from my anger, as I head back into the hospital from the park. I’d found myself on a park bench, as I read through the file. I called Bobby to the park to get him to scan the docs and destroy the originals. I don’t know what prompted me to do so, but I felt it needed to be done.
I squat down and open my arms. Both my girls run right into them. They seem so small and vulnerable right in this moment.
“I miss you, babies,” I say into their hair.
I feel my heart break, as they hold onto me so tightly, I know their little arms hurt. Megan’s little body trembles and when I pull back to look down into their faces, Jessica looks so sad, my heart breaks again.
“We missed you too, Daddy. Is Sammy still with Mo-mo? Can we go see her too?” Jessica asks with a look of longing in her eyes.
“She gives this best hugs. I could use one of her hugs right now,” Megan murmurs.
My brows knit as I think of the impression Tasha has left on my children. Again, I wonder what the hell Ellen was up to. I shake away those thoughts and pull my girls to my chest again. I wrap an arm around each of them and stand to my full height.
They’re getting so big. I won’t be able to do this any longer soon. I hope that day takes its time. I need them in my arms now, as much as they need to be there. I kiss each of their foreheads.
“I left Sammy with Mo-mo to take a walk. I don’t know if she’s awake to give you girls a hug, but we can go check on her and your brother,” I tell them soothingly.
I mentally note that they have me calling Tasha, Mo-mo too. I look away from the girls to Val, who has been watching us closely. I move to kiss her on the cheek.
“Thanks for bringing them,” I mutter.
“You don’t have to thank me. Uri and I are here for whatever you need, and I mean whatever. We’re ready when you are,” Val says pointedly.
I give a real chuckle for the first time in days. “Yeah, I know.”
We all walk silently into the hospital. The girls with their heads on my shoulder. Megan, with a tight hold on my shirt. I kiss her forehead again, as the elevator dings on our floor and we all step off.
The moment I step off the elevator something feels off. I place the girls on their feet and wave Cliff over. I push the girls to him and move swiftly to Tasha’s room. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.
I don’t know what I will find when I get in the room, but something has me moving swiftly, without further thought. Bobby said Sammy was still asleep last he checked on him. I hope to God, he hasn’t woken and turned the place upside down in my absence.
However, when I walk into Tasha’s room. I get the shock of my life. With a wince on her face and a very shaky hand, Tasha is holding a gun up, pointed at a smiling Misha. I can see a mix of fear, confusion, hurt, and determination set in her eyes.
“I think you want to put that gun down,” Val growls, beside me. I groan when I turn to find her with her own two guns drawn.
I move quickly to grab my son from Tasha’s side. The distraction of my movement gives Tasha time to snatch another gun from Czar’s back. The pain from the action is written all over her face as she tries to aim one shaky hand at Val and the other at Misha.
Tasha crosses her left arm over her right, trying to brace the injured arm that’s aimed at Val. The effort and determination is more than clear.
“I don’t know who you are, but I’ll blow both your heads off if I have to,” Tasha growls weakly.
“Shit, I like her,” Val snorts. “But sweetie. I will put another bullet in you, faster than you can think.”
Tasha snorts. “I may hate this bastard, but he was good for something. Threaten me again and we’ll both just be Swiss cheese up in here.”
Misha throws his head back and laughs. “Valentina, put your gun away. My little kitten will not shoot me,” Misha tilts his head. “I think she’s mad at me, but once we settle things. I will make it all better.”
“I told you. I’m not your fucking kitten,” Tasha hisses, but I can see this is tiring her out. Sweat has started to form on her brow.
; Val reluctantly lowers her guns and steps further into the room, closing the door behind her. The move shifts the lighting and the ring on Tasha finger catches the dim light. It seems to also catch both my and Misha’s attention.
“What is that?” Misha bites out. “If you believe that I’ve had your fiancé killed eight years ago, what is that on your finger? Do you still wear his ring?”
Tasha’s eyes fall to the ring on her finger and her brows furrow. It’s then that something squeezes in my chest. Sammy stirs in my arms and I tighten my hold on him.
“I put it there,” I speak up. The words just continue to flow. “It’s my ring.”
Valentina and Czar both look at me with confusion, but don’t say a word. Misha turns a hard glare on me. I straighten and return his gaze.
“What do you mean? You put it there. Your wife is not yet buried. Why would you put a ring on my fiancée’s finger?”
“I’m not your fiancée,” Tasha growls.
“I put it there before,” I swallow the lump in my throat, as I get ready to tell this big fat lie. “Tasha and I had a relationship before. Before Ellen was… we were getting a divorce. Things haven’t been working for either of us. We decided to part ways. It was amicable.”
I hear Valentina suck in a breath, but I force myself not to look at her. Don’t ask me why I’m saying any of this. I don’t know why I am, but I feel in my heart, it’s the right thing for now.
When Tasha relaxes her shaky arms at her side, I know I’m doing the right thing. I think she would shoot Misha. I can see the fear he creates, within her eyes. Czar reaches to pry the guns from her fingers.
“Mo-mo,” Sammy coos out sleepily, as his little grey eyes open and focus on a woken Monique.
“Hey, Sweetie,” she replies, as her face softens just for him.
Sammy wiggles in my arms, trying to get to her. I move closer to the bed to hand him over before he leaps from my arms. I watch in awe as my son straddles her lap and wraps his body around her, causing her to give a little wince.
“Sammy, careful,” I grunt.
“It’s okay,” Tasha coos. “He’s been through a lot,” she pauses and I see as understanding registers in her eyes. She chokes out her next words. “Ellen… she… Oh, God, she didn’t make it?”
We don’t have to answer her question. I think the looks on all of our faces says it all. I pull a hand down my face, thinking of all the shit that has just transpired in the last ten minutes.
“I’m so sorry,” Tasha says, as she looks up into my eyes.
“Wait,” Misha hisses, breaking the moment, Tasha and I were about to have. “You make me promise to stay away and you have gone after my woman? How is this? You are married man.”
I close my eyes and get ready to spew more lies. Only, Tasha steps in to heap more on. I guess I’m not the only one feeling compelled to do so.
“We’ve never crossed the lines, while he and Ellen were still together. It was only as the divorce became a reality that we pursued our feelings. We didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did,” Tasha shrugs her small shoulders.
Misha turns to Czar and then Val. “Did either of you know of this?”
“I don’t want to be in the middle, Misha. Uri wouldn’t want me to be in the middle. You’re already on his shit list. Don’t add this,” Val shakes her head and looks sadly at me. “I’ll go see about the girls.”
“Thank you. They’ll want to know Mo-mo’s awake,” I reply, wincing inwardly, as I realize I’ve used the nickname again.
Tasha gives a soft horse giggle and coughs. I reach for the empty cup and fill it with water from the pitcher one of the nurses had left for me and Sammy. I place the straw to Tasha’s lips and she sucks it down gratefully.
With a small, sad smile, she looks up at me. “Thank you. They have you calling me Mo-mo now, too?”
“It sticks,” I say, with a smile I know isn’t reaching my eyes.
“Bullshit,” Misha bellows out.
However, Sammy’s words to Tasha still Misha and his anger. I watch it as it happens. “I love you, Mo-mo,” my Sammy says softly. “We go home now.”
Misha’s eyes flicker to me and I see the hurt and anger there. My own chest aches for lying to my friend. I just know in my heart I’ve done what’s best.
I don’t know what’s in Ellen’s letters, but with my wife, there were never any accidents. Everything had a purpose, and there are facts here, things that add up somehow. Tasha is wearing Ellen’s new engagement ring, that didn’t fit my wife. In addition, there is a divorce filed in both mine and Ellen’s names.
I know this will all make sense when more facts become concrete. For now, we’re going to just roll with it. When I look into Czar’s eyes, I see…gratitude. He doesn’t say a word, and I know it’s because Misha is watching us all like a hawk.
I know this is just the beginning. Misha isn’t going to let his malen’kij kotenok go so easily. Something tells me we’re in for quite an adventure and I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I have enough on my plate as it is.
chapter Five
What the…
Monique
After waking up from being shot and hitting the ground face first, I am still confused over what the hell is going on around me. I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m still sleeping the swelling off. However, the ring Sammy took from his mother to place on my finger is screaming otherwise.
I can’t believe LaSalle jumped in with such a story about him and his dead wife, to save me from Misha’s crazy ass. Once again, I will never know how to repay him. I cannot tell you how relieved I was to see a pissed off Misha storm from my hospital room.
I tried to take this ring off my finger and explain to LaSalle how it got there. He listened, but he nor Sammy would let me take it off to return it.
“Misha won’t let this go easily. This is just the beginning,” LaSalle sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just keep it on for now. It’s the best course. This shit is going to start a fucking war.”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I shook my head. “I can handle myself. We’ll tell him the truth and I will handle him. You have enough on your plate.”
“I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe and that you don’t have to live in fear,” LaSalle snapped tightly. “I owe you and Czar that much. You nearly gave your life for my son and you tried to save my wife. This, I will do.”
I’d gone to protest about living in fear, but LaSalle pinned me with a look that told me he saw right through me. He has been giving me plenty of those looks, all night. Whenever I’ve said something he sees through, he lets me know with less than a word.
We’ve been stuck in this dance. Sammy won’t leave my side and he won’t allow LaSalle to either. I’ve never seen Sammy this bad. I’ve tried to calm him and get him to follow his father home.
Maybe my brain just isn’t with it right now. I mean, I can’t get over most of what LaSalle has told me. I struggle just to try to focus or grasp a hold of much all he’s said. His words have been rattling around in my head all night. I rub my temples as if I can rub the thoughts away. It does nothing but make them louder.
“Ellen had to see this coming,” LaSalle said almost to himself. “I’m convinced all of this adds up somehow. I just don’t understand why she didn’t come to me. I know my wife. You have that ring on your finger for a reason.”
“I’m still trying to get my head around this. You’re telling me; Ellen knew she was going to die. You also think she knew something else is going to happen. Don’t you think playing with Misha is dangerous if something else is lying in wait to happen?”
LaSalle snorted. “I have nothing to lose. I am nothing without my word. I will never break my word again. You and my children are where my focus lies.”
“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl,” I gave a weak smile.
His eyes pierced me with such a fierceness. “It will never sit well with me that I made a p
romise to you and my wife and neither of you remained safe.”
“But,” I went to start.
“No, Ellen knew something. Once again, I’m missing something. Something that could blow up in my face,” he ground out.
“Have you thought that maybe the answers are in the letters,” the glare he pinned me with almost seared my skin off.
I stopped mentioning the letters. Whenever I’m awake, LaSalle and I have passed the time talking. He has asked so many questions that my head is spinning. Each time I’ve skirted the truth, he’s pinned me with that all-knowing look.
I’m beginning to think he’s psychic like his wife. Speaking of which, I think that’s the part that has my head spinning. So many things about my interactions with Ellen are starting to stick out.
I was pretty much floored when LaSalle shared that fact with me. I am still processing some of the things LaSalle has murmured to me in the midnight hours, when he felt no one was around to overhear.
I may not have mentioned the letters again, but I’m most curious about them. If Ellen was indeed psychic and she saw this coming, does that mean she left one for me? I don’t know if I can get my head around all of this. Not with the dull ache that’s still being persistent in my head.
Now, I can’t help staring at him and his little clone as they sleep in the chair beside my bed. Sammy will be just as handsome as his father when he’s older. I sigh and look away. Hopeful, Sammy will know a different life from the one his father and I can’t seem to get away from.
“I can hear you thinking,” LaSalle murmurs sleepily.
“Stop listening,” I mutter.
He scoffs. I look to see his eyes are still closed as he speaks. “I need out of this hospital. My back is aching,” he huffs.
“If my father didn’t come in here like the grand wizard last night, I might have gotten out of here. Their scared to fart wrong around here now,” I snort, and regret it as pain shoots through my shoulder.
LaSalle rubs his eyes. “Well, I’m putting my foot down today. Sammy will have to deal with it. I have things I need to tend to,” he presses his lips in frustration.
