Black Snow (Birds of a Feather Book 4)

by Lena North

  “You know what you want, baby, just make yourself say the words.”

  I exhaled and smiled into his beautiful pale blue eyes.

  “You,” I said. “I want you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Go with the good guy, Snow.

  I turned back toward the room and realized that nothing good would come from staying there. We’d continue to argue, and likely say things that were unforgivable, and I didn’t want that. It would be better to leave and try to pick up whatever we could later. I moved a little and Nick put an arm around my waist, but I pushed against him, to get us moving backward.

  “Snow,” Dante said hoarsely.

  The pain in my cousin’s eyes was almost more than I could bear, and I needed to get out of there before I broke down in tears.

  “I get to choose my own life,” I whispered as we moved.

  “You don’t know who he is,” Dante protested, but I immediately hit him with everything that I had in me.

  “I know exactly who he is,” I said loudly, and stopped moving.

  Then I opened my mind up widely to him, tilting my head back a little, and lowering my eyelids until I watched my cousin through narrow slits.

  I knew Dante could read my thoughts, but Nick had said he pushed pictures to the dolphins and this was what I did. The look on my cousin’s face told me he saw them.

  I started by showing him how I closed my mind to him, and how I continued to scream and weep all alone out on the open sea, or on secluded islands in the river outside Marshes. I showed him the black, ugly snake resting in my belly, and what I did to battle life when it reared its ugly head. He paled when I pushed pictures of free diving, climbing, and jumping, getting more and more reckless each time. I hadn’t thought about my first base jump in a long time, but I showed him how I slammed into the ground, coming down way too fast and in an area with too many obstacles. There were cuts and bruises I’d hidden from him and through it all my endless grief.

  He made a hoarse sound, but as I kept bombarding my cousin with the parts of my life he hadn’t known about, Nick started being part of the pictures. He was there to stop me from climbing in the rain, taking us back to a safe harbor when a storm hit, climbing beneath me when that rusty anchor fell from the cliff and laughing with me over sandwiches and water afterward. Finally, I showed Dante the days I’d been on the Islands, my scooter that Nick had asked to get de-tuned, the helmet he made me wear, how my osprey cooed like a silly dove when he petted her, and that lonely tear on his cheek when he talked about Tommy. I ended it by holding a picture of Nick grinning down at me in my mind. The sun was high in the sky, so he was squinting a little, but there were warmth and laughter in his eyes. He was so beautiful.

  “That’s enough, Snow,” Joao suddenly murmured at my side. “You’ve made your point.”

  I jerked but kept that image if Nick in my mind and refused to look away from Dante’s handsome face. He looked shattered, and his lips were pressed together in a thin line.

  “Let it go, sweetie,” Nick murmured behind me.

  I jerked, and let go of the image on a long exhale as I started moving backward again.

  “Snow, I –”

  I don’t know what Dante was about to say because Olly interrupted him.

  “This stops now,” he said, waving his phone in front of him. “The only one who for the next few months legally can tell Snow what to do says for her to get out of this situation, contact whomever she wishes to talk to later, and call him if she needs him.”

  I twisted around to look at Olly, and he twitched his head toward the door, once. I nodded and then we walked out of the restaurant.

  “We’ll go and get your things,” Joao said as he came down the stairs behind us. “Benito will take you to the mainland.”

  “What?”

  Was he kicking us off the Islands?

  “You both need to leave for a while.”

  “Because of Jamie?” Nick asked as we moved toward the police cruiser we’d arrived in.

  “Mostly. Better for Snow to get some distance to that,” Joao said and indicated the restaurant with a sweep of his hand. “But yeah, much better for you to get away from all the shit he’ll spew in the days to come. Can’t have you kill him, so I’ll deal with him.” He started the car and added sourly, “The little toad.”

  “This isn’t easy for him. He’ll come around,” Nick protested.

  “He called you a thief, a drug dealer, and a bloody murderer.”

  “Yeah,” Nick said. “But he loves her.”

  Neither of us spoke after that, and in minutes, we arrived at Nicks house.

  “Pack what you need for the next days, I’ll get the rest to you later,” Joao ordered.

  I anyway threw as much as I could fit into one of my bags, not bothering to fold it nicely, and refusing to think about what I’d just done. Nick stayed outside, talking quietly with his cousin, and then we were in the car again. Benito was starting up the plane when Joao rounded the airport building and parked the car on the tarmac. Nick’s parents came running toward us, and I felt tears start to slide down my cheeks.

  “I’m so sorry, Pauline,” I sobbed into the older woman’s embrace.

  She held me while I wept, and I felt Nicholas hug us both, murmuring something to his son.

  “Snow, babe, time to go,” Nick murmured when I’d calmed down a little.

  I leaned back and looked into Pauline’s eyes, realizing for the first time where Nick had gotten his eye color.

  “I’m so sorry,” I repeated. “I’m taking him away from you.”

  “He’s with us again wherever he goes. No need for him to be on the Islands all the time,” she said. “You’ll come back.”

  “We will,” I promised.

  Then Benito shouted at us to get going, so I hugged Nicholas quickly and hurried over the tarmac, wondering if I’d gone insane. I’d walked away from all my family. Then Nick took hold of my hand, and I held on to it, still afraid of what would come but completely convinced I’d done the right thing.

  I stopped just outside the plane and turned.

  “Bird,”

  “I’m here,” she replied immediately, and I looked around but couldn’t see her anywhere. “Go with the good guy, Snow. I will come.”

  “It was awful,” I said quietly, knowing she would have hidden somewhere to listen in on the conversation.

  “Yes-yes-yes,” she confirmed. “Gorgeous was stupid.”

  Birds didn’t do names well but her descriptions were often spot on and easy to understand. Gorgeous would be Dante.

  Good guy was Nick.

  ***

  “Do you want to stop at Jinx’ place to get your things first?” Nick asked as he steered me toward the parking lot outside the small airport south of Prosper.

  We hadn’t talked much on the plane. The sound of the engines had seemed louder, and I needed the time to think about everything that had happened. I didn’t know what I’d do or where I'd go, and I realized that my closest friend was a bird. Even though the thought of her soothed me, it also made me a little sad.

  “First?” I asked.

  “Before we go to my place,” Nick clarified.

  “You have a place?” I asked stupidly because of course, he did.

  “Yeah,” he chuckled. “Bigger than Jinx’ tiny hole in the wall. Besides, you won’t want to stay there. Not right now, anyway.”

  He was right. At that moment, I did not want to sleep in a condo owned by Jiminella Sweetwater.

  “Jiminella’s place. I don’t have much stuff there, so I’ll pack it up quickly.”

  “No rush,” he murmured, and I heard the locks to his crappy old car beep.

  “Can we talk?” I asked quietly.

  “Yeah, Snow, we can talk. I just thought we’d wait until we were home.” He opened the door for me, and I climbed in. “Better place to be,” he murmured as he started the car.
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br />   “Okay,” I said because he was right.

  It took no time at all to gather up what I had in the condo, then we were in the car again, and fifteen minutes later we stopped outside a nice-looking building. We were in a part of south Prosper that had been rough and run-down until recently. Artsy types, actors, and musicians had started moving there in the past years, and they had upgraded it to an area breathing of urban shabby-chic. I had been there a lot, and liked the area with its diversity, both in the people and the stores and restaurants. The condos were not exactly cheap, though, and I had not expected him to live in a house like the one we were standing in front of.

  His home was enormous, although the lack of furniture probably made it look bigger than it was. He just had a few chairs by the breakfast bar in the open kitchen, an enormous sofa, and an equally enormous TV-set.

  “Sparse,” I said dryly as I looked around.

  He chuckled and kept walking through a long corridor, passing several closed doors, and I followed. When he stopped, I was so busy staring at the photos on the walls that I walked right into him.

  “Did you take these?” I asked and swept my hand out.

  He nodded and watched me in that focused way as if trying to judge my reaction, which must have been clear even for someone with limited eyesight.

  “I don’t know you very well,” I whispered.

  The pictures were beyond amazing. I took a step forward to look at a portrait of an old man looking at something outside the picture. There were fatigue and sadness on the man’s face, but also a determined look that made you want to cheer, for his strength and willingness to go on in spite of whatever hardship life had handed him.

  “In some ways, you don’t know me, but in most ways, you do,” Nick said, and I turned my eyes reluctantly from the old man. “I’ll put your things in here,” he added and opened a door.

  My bag went into the room and then he turned me around and shuffled us back to the living room.

  “Pizza okay with you?” he asked.

  When I nodded, he picked up a phone and ordered, “the usual plus a regular, only cheese.” I knew he wasn’t big on cooking so him having the pizza place on speed dial wasn’t a surprise, and it calmed me down to realize that he’d ordered my favorite pizza without having to ask. I walked over to sit on the couch, and he sat down next to me. For a long time, we didn’t say anything at all, and then I felt his hand on top of mine.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “For believing in us. I know it wasn’t an easy choice for you.”

  “It wasn’t,” I said slowly. “But Nicky, in a way, it was. I don’t know everything about you, but you’re right. I know the parts that count.”

  His arm came up around my shoulders, and I leaned into him.

  “Lots of shit to talk about,” he murmured. “Where do you want to start?”

  “Can you read my mind?” I asked immediately. “Can Joao?”

  “Don’t know if Joao can, we never talked about it. Don’t think so. I can’t.”

  “You seemed to know what I did at the end when I showed Dante…”

  I trailed off, not sure how to explain what I’d done, mostly because I wasn’t sure I understood it myself.

  “That was different. You showed him images, babe. I’m really, really good with images, and they kept playing in my mind as you pushed them at him. If I picked them up, then Joao would too.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  That made sense, in a way.

  “What did you do to Dante?”

  “Huh?”

  “You did something. Joao said it was slick,” I reminded him.

  He grinned suddenly, and murmured, “Your cousin can be a bit of a dick.”

  “Not really,” I countered.

  Dante was many things, but he wasn’t usually a dick.

  “Well he was one today,” Nick stated. “He tried to read my mind. I felt it, so I closed my thoughts to him. Showed him an image after a while.”

  “An image of what?”

  “My hand, one finger raised.”

  “Tell me you didn’t flip Dante the bird,” I said.

  He shrugged, and I laughed out loud. That would have surprised my cousin. It also made me think about Miller’s wife, Mary. She had done a similar thing to her relatives, and I suddenly looked forward to introducing Nick to her.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening on the couch, eating pizza and talking. Things had changed between us in the last couple of weeks, but as we sat there in his mostly empty condo, it became increasingly clear to me that who we had been in the past year had not disappeared, and I was relieved.

  When the night outside the high windows had turned completely black, Nick got up and stretched a hand out to me. I took it, and he pulled me into his arms.

  “It’s different now,” he murmured. “I’m not sure you’re ready for different.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant, so I leaned back and searched his face for clues, but he just smiled softly at me.

  “I’m giving you the guest room,” he said.

  Oh.

  “Okay,” I said, but I wasn’t at all sure that it was what I wanted.

  “Okay,” he echoed.

  The guest room was as sparsely decorated as the rest of the condo. A bed with a pillow, duvet, and sheets piled on it. That was it.

  “Not big on interior design?” I asked.

  “Haven’t had time,” he said, and added, “Goodnight, Snow.”

  Then he caressed my cheek softly and disappeared down the hall.

  I made up the bed and sat on it, wondering if he regretted bringing me to his home. I felt lonely and restless, but it wasn’t the black snake in my belly who pushed at me. A different kind of warmth spread in my core, and I leaned back to look at the ceiling for a while.

  I could sleep in the bed I’d just made, or I could go down the hall and sleep with Nick. He wouldn’t say no, at least I didn’t think so.

  Did I want to?

  When I realized how obvious my answer to that question was, I got up and walked without hesitation to the door at the far end, and opened it slowly.

  “Snow?” Nick murmured from the darkness, and then there was a soft light coming from a small lamp on his bedside table.

  I registered vaguely that there was furniture in the room, and a carpet on the floor, but my gaze locked with Nick’s.

  “I want to sleep with you,” I whispered.

  His eyes darkened, and he leaned up on an elbow, which made the sheets fall down to his waist. My belly flipped when I let my eyes slide over all the hotness that was Nick. His dreads were hanging down his back, and the muscles on his broad chest clenched a little when he moved.

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  His voice was low and a bit hoarse, sounding like him, but different. I nodded as I closed the door behind me and walked toward him.

  “Snow…” he said when I’d almost reached the bed.

  It sounded like a warning, and I froze. Had I misunderstood?

  “I sleep naked.”

  I could feel heat warming my cheeks, and the blush made a lazy grin spread on his face. Then I smiled back at him and slowly, holding his gaze so I wouldn’t lose my courage, I pulled off my tee.

  His jaw went slack, and his beautiful blue eyes were suddenly focused. I knew he registered every inch of me and that the image would be saved in his mind forever, but I didn’t care. Then he raised a brow, and I knew what he meant. I still had my panties on.

  I lowered my lids a little, leaned forward and turned off the light.

  Then I removed my panties and following the sound of his low chuckle I climbed into his bed. His strong hand felt good as it slid down my ribs, and he was warm – and he definitely slept naked.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I love you.

  The days following our return to Prosper were weirdly n
ormal. I went back to school and found out that it was as boring as ever. Nick was busy with a few projects he was involved in and talked about a showing that was scheduled at one of the art galleries. I’d started to suspect that he’d downplayed his reputation as a photographer, and asked him if he was famous. He just grinned and wiggled his brows, which was a non-answer if I’d ever seen one.

  “If I search your name on the net, what will I see?” I asked, and shot a smile over my shoulder as I stirred the soup I’d decided we’d have for dinner.

  “I wish you wouldn’t,” he replied.

  I turned fully and looked at him. He seemed uncomfortable suddenly.

  “Why?”

  “Because I am famous. It doesn’t mean anything, you know, and it’s mostly in a rather limited circle of photo-nerds.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. He was what? Famous? What did that mean?

  “I have nothing to hide, but I still wish you wouldn’t,” he semi-repeated. “If you want, I’ll show you some of the things I’ve done.”

  “How famous?”

  He mentioned where his latest exhibitions had been, the magazines he was featured in on a regular basis, and after a short pause, he told me what they paid for his photos. It was a lot of money.

  “That’s how you bought this place,” I said, and when he nodded, I added, “And paid for your grandmother’s house.”

  “Yup.”

  “Okay,” I said and turned to continue preparing our dinner.

  “Okay?” he echoed but turning it into a question as he came up behind me to wrap his arms around my chest and look over my shoulder on the soup.

  “I thought you stole it,” I whispered when we’d stood there for some time, staring down at small pieces of chicken floating around in a thick broth.

  His arms twitched, and I felt stupid, but he needed to know. I had turned it all around in my mind, and the only way I could come up with for how he’d have the money for everything was to steal it. I’d tried to convince myself that he’d taken money from bad people, maybe even the drug dealers, justifying it by turning it all into some kind of robin-hoodesque event.