Dear Diamond

by Walls, Stephie

  “Why are you crying?” He came back around the counter and took my cheeks in his hands. When he tilted my face up, I closed my eyes. “Look at me, Nikki.” His tone didn’t leave room for discussion or refusal, so I did as he instructed. “Talk to me.”

  I took several deep breaths, my chest expanding and contracting with each one. This wasn’t how I’d planned to have this conversation, but sometimes, things didn’t work out the way we wanted them to. “I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.” I shrugged, trying to make light of my regret and my attempt at atonement. It was a big deal regardless of whether I pretended it wasn’t.

  His smile turned into a shit-eating grin as if he were waiting for this confession, and I rolled my eyes. Ryker grabbed my hand and led me toward the bedroom.

  “Keep talking. Hearing a woman admit she is wrong is like seeing a unicorn. I don’t want to miss a word, but I need to get out of these filthy clothes.”

  Personally, I loved the look of a man in a uniform. I’d recently developed an affinity for the smell of motor oil or whatever it was that had seeped into the fibers of his shirt while he was at the shop. One whiff and I was a goner. I’d lost my train of thought and didn’t care to get it back on track. Being derailed by a half-naked Ryker was far more interesting than confessing my own wrongdoings. If this were the reward I got every time I did something he told me not to, I’d likely become disobedient just for the hell of it.

  “Whatever you’re scheming, stop.”

  I’d become mesmerized by the sight of his bare chest and the ripples of his stomach. “Huh?” I met his eyes with a confused stare and cocked my head.

  “It’s written all over your face. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but that sly grin can’t be good for me.”

  I wasn’t sure how he did that, read my mind. He might not have latched on to my exact thought, but he certainly recognized the mischief brewing. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I fought against the upward tilt of my lips, but in the end, he got a full-blown smile—teeth and all.

  He shook his head. “Exactly.”

  Then, right before my very eyes, he dropped his pants and boxers and stood before me completely naked. My mouth watered, and my heart raced. I shouldn’t want him, not after what I’d been through last night, but damn, I was desperate to be caught in his web. No matter how hard I tried to drag my eyes from his skin, I couldn’t let go.

  Ryker snapped his fingers to get my attention. “Nikki…”

  “Huh? Yeah.” That was hardly a recovery to be proud of. “What’s up?” At this point, I would look like a moron regardless of the turn this conversation took.

  He didn’t bother to reach into the drawer to grab clean clothes. Instead, he sauntered toward me. As much as I wanted to meet his eyes, to get lost in their hypnotic gaze, I couldn’t stop staring at the package between his legs. And the longer I looked, the bigger and harder and more erect it got…until it lay flush with his stomach, and he was close enough for me to feel the warmth of his breath. His fingers met my chin and lifted it. Reluctantly, I tore my stare from his sex.

  “You were apologizing?”

  I’d forgotten that was what I’d intended to do. Sometimes words were overrated, and actions spoke more clearly. I rose to my tiptoes and placed my hands on his shoulders. Ryker didn’t back away when I leaned in to taste his lips. They were a tad salty from the day, but the moment his tongue entered my mouth, I barely remembered my name, much less the apology he waited on.

  I broke the kiss long enough to interject a thought. “I’m sorry I ran off.” I delved back into the passion of his mouth. The deeper the exchange got, the more heated and wet my core became until it pulsed with need and desire and lust.

  When Ryker backed away, I expected him to initiate more, and I panted with longing. “Which time?” he murmured and ran his hands over my jeans to cup my ass and press my front against his rigid length.

  I’d confess to whatever it took in order to get my clothes off and get underneath him—or on top of him; I wasn’t picky. “Both.”

  He nibbled at the skin under my ear, and his teeth tugged just enough to send a shiver down my spine. “The thought of you in danger flips me the fuck out.” There was something about the way he emphasized the word fuck that had me coming unraveled. “I can’t handle that shit, Nikki.” Ryker kept talking as he worked his way down my neck and to my shoulder. “If anyone ever hurt you, I’d go to prison for life because I’d kill a motherfucker without thinking twice.”

  Coming from any other man, I wouldn’t have believed them capable. Coming from Ryker, that level of security scared the shit out of me and turned me on at the same time. Logically, I should be repulsed by the notion, but emotionally, I swooned. It was the bad boy that every girl was drawn to, and I had just proven I wasn’t immune to the intrigue.

  “I won’t do it again,” I promised through a breathy moan, hoping to shut down the conversation. My fingers clawed at his sides in an attempt to get him to shut up and act. A sigh escaped my lips when he finally clutched the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head. My cheeks flushed as he unbuttoned my jeans and worked them and my panties down my hips for me to step out of.

  And when he lifted me by my ass, I wrapped my legs around his waist, believing I’d managed to get out of yesterday’s actions with a few measly words. Ryker brought his lips to mine again, silencing any further attempt at a discussion. I didn’t know where he planned to take me when we started moving, and I didn’t open my eyes to find out. I was perfectly content to be naked in his arms and to let him work out the rest. The sooner he impaled me and let me ride out my regret, the better off we’d both be.

  But when he laid us down on the bed, he hovered over me and stalled. I cracked an eye suspiciously to find him peering down, almost studying my face. The exchange I’d hoped to avoid clearly lingered on his lips, and now he had me in a position where I couldn’t escape even if I’d wanted to. I gave up the ghost, opened my eyes, and dropped my shoulders onto the mattress with a huff.

  “What?” I asked.

  His eyes roamed my face, and the honey spread in his irises as if it were absorbing a part of me that he couldn’t physically touch. Ryker’s thumb brushed a lock of my hair from my cheek while he continued to take me in. “I don’t have much to offer you.”

  It was the first time I’d ever witnessed any insecurity or even a chink in his armor. I didn’t understand where it had come from or where he planned to go with it. “I didn’t ask for anything.” My tone was soft and as sweet as I was capable of.

  “But I want to give you everything.” His lids closed as if he were ashamed of that admission and he was preparing himself to be shot down. “I’m a simple man with even simpler needs, but I want to protect you at all costs. I want to come home to burned bread and smoke detectors blaring. I want to go to sleep next to you every night and wake up with you draped over my chest and hogging the bed every morning. The highs, the lows…I want you to share them with me.”

  It was Ryker’s lips that moved and his voice I heard, yet somehow, I had a hard time believing the words. We hadn’t known each other long, and what little time we’d spent together had been under duress. I thought the person being held captive was the one who might suffer from Stockholm syndrome, but unless I was dreaming, Ryker had just all but told me he loved me. Shocked by his confession, and unsure of whether I’d heard him correctly, my mouth parted, and silence came out.

  He reopened his eyes, and all I could see was disappointment. “That was a lot to unload on you.” He took a deep breath through his nose. “I just don’t want you to leave.”

  “Ever?” My shock was elation, not disgust, but my brain wouldn’t catch up to actually say more than one word or reassure him that I felt for him as deeply as he’d just confessed he did for me.

  He turned his head back and forth in response. “When I claimed you to Jesse, it was to protect you. But even after, when I had time to really consider the imp
lication, it just felt right. It’s crazy, and we barely know each other, but I’m just asking you to give me a chance.”

  “Okay.” My verbal skills were astounding. All I could do was breathe heavily, nod, and utter one-word statements. I had yet to be able to string a complete sentence together.

  He shifted his weight between my thighs, and suddenly, all I could smell was my arousal. My cheeks heated with embarrassment, but Ryker apparently hadn’t noticed the scent or my blush.

  “Okay?” he asked.

  I squirmed under him and spread my thighs to allow for him to settle more comfortably. His shaft lay flush between my wet lips. All it would take to have him inside me was a slight dip of my hips, but it didn’t appear as though we were done with this conversation. “Yes.” I leaned my face toward his to peck his lips. “I can’t predict the future, and I have no idea how any of this happened or why you’d even want me, but—”

  His mouth crashed into mine, passionately seeking comfort and assurance. Our tongues danced, and when I arched my spine, Ryker slipped inside, pushing deeper until there wasn’t anywhere else to go. We were together, as one, and I’d never felt so complete.

  There, Ryker used his body to convince me that the words he’d spoken had been in truth. Our souls touched. Our spirits bonded. And I’d fallen into the safety and security of a man who appeared more dangerous than explosives but had the heart of a warrior.

  * * *

  Basking in the afterglow of two mind-blowing orgasms, my stomach growled. It had gotten late, and the two of us had skipped eating in favor of savoring each other. Somehow, even the lingering smell of burned garlic bread tempted me out of bed. I rolled over onto my side to face the man who’d just rocked my world…twice. “Are you hungry?”

  “Famished.” He pulled me onto his stomach, and if I weren’t careful, he’d have me chasing peak number three.

  I giggled, like a school girl, and my cheeks flushed with heat. “I meant for food.”

  He leaned up to kiss me, grabbing the back of my neck with one hand and my ass with the other. “Trust me, I could dine on you all night long.” The pinch of his nails digging into my skin jerked me into an upright position, right on top of his growing erection.

  “If you’re up for round three after we eat real food, then I’m game, but right now, I’m starving.” I patted his chest and rolled off of him. “I still have to cook the noodles, but I managed to make the sauce without burning it. I promise, it will be good.”

  “Are you going to scrape the ashes off the bread? Maybe add a little butter to keep it from being dry?”

  If I’d still been within striking distance, I would have plucked a pillow off the bed and hit him with it. “Hardy-har-har-har, funny man. I’m not trying to poison you.” I rolled my eyes, snagged a shirt from the floor to put on, and left the room. I exaggerated the swing in my hips, hoping to entice Ryker to follow.

  He did but veered off to the bathroom. Ryker jumped in the shower while I finished dinner, appearing at my side just as I dumped the water out of the pot of noodles. “It actually looks really good. Did you get rid of the evidence of your debacle? Or should I get the fire extinguisher just in case the embers aren’t out when you open the oven?” He kissed my shoulder and then grinned as he retrieved plates from the cabinet.

  I ignored his teasing. I certainly wasn’t the chef Ryker proved to be, but there were a few dishes that I knew would make his mouth water and his stomach rejoice. My spaghetti was one of them. I’d worked at an authentic Italian restaurant for years, and I’d managed to pick up a few things here and there. As we stood at the bar, I took note of his expression when he wound the spaghetti around the fork and then took the first bite.

  “Not bad.”

  Not bad, my ass. It was fantastic, and I could tell by the way he shoveled it into his mouth, he thought so, too. The conversation lulled, and for the first time in as long as I could remember, I longed to fill the silence. I licked my lips and set down my fork. “What happened at work today?” We’d gotten sidetracked, and I’d never gotten an answer to that question.

  He swallowed, and the ink on his neck swayed with the movement of his Adam’s apple. Jesus Christ, he even made eating sexy. “Chase stopped by the shop.” That didn’t sound so bad; after all, Chase was his best friend.

  “And?”

  His jaw ticced, and the color of his eyes became a brown so dark it was hard to tell where the pupils stopped and irises began. “I’m done with the Union…and the Silvanos.” He held my stare, waiting for a reaction.

  “Chase too?”

  “All of it.”

  I didn’t need to ask why. I already knew the answer, and while I was at the center of the question, Chase had provided Ryker with truth he hadn’t thought he’d see. Even if Ryker weren’t a U21 member, he’d believed the Silvanos thought of him as family. This weekend, they’d proven blood was thicker than prison time served.

  “So where do we go from here?”

  Ryker stopped chewing, and his eyes met mine. They were wide with uncertainty and possibly confusion—or maybe insecurity, I couldn’t really tell. He cleared his throat. “What do you mean?”

  I didn’t want to spell things out for him, but I also wasn’t interested in assuming he wanted one thing when he had something else in mind. I shrugged, trying to keep things casual. “I mean, it’s not safe around here without the Silvanos backing you—not after crossing Jesse, regardless of whether he gave you his blessing—and I don’t think you want me to go back to my apartment—”

  “Not happening…”

  “I’m also fairly certain I lost my job at the restaurant when I didn’t show up for my shift last night and have yet to call my boss. So, I’m basically unemployed and homeless.”

  He shoved another bite into his mouth and spoke around it while he pushed the spaghetti around on the plate with his fork. “You’re not homeless.”

  Technically, I was. “Well, yeah…I am.”

  “Stay here.” He didn’t ask or even suggest. He was simply matter of fact as though there were no room for any other possibility.

  I looked around, taking my time before responding.

  He shook his head, once again knowing one of the thoughts that crossed my mind. “We can get furniture and a television if that’s the issue.”

  “That would be a nice start, but Ryker, do you really want to move in a girl you’ve known for less than two weeks? What if I’m batshit crazy? Or have some insane ex-boyfriend who hunts you down? Or worse, what if I’m a slob?”

  “If you have an ex who wants to go toe to toe, then by all means, tell him to bring it on. Judging by how tight your pussy is every time I stick my dick in it, he wasn’t getting the job done. I’m more than happy to help him understand that you’ve moved on.” Only Ryker would continue to heap food into his mouth while taking jabs at my lack of a sex life. He hadn’t been complaining when I screamed his name or came all over his dick…twice. “And if you’re a slob, I’ll just throw your shit out when I find it on the floor.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “And the batshit crazy?”

  “Crazy I can deal with.” He smirked, but even as fucking hot as that grin was, I wanted to wipe it off his sinfully hot lips.

  “Seriously?”

  His silverware clanked on the plate, and he wiped his mouth with a paper towel. “What did you misunderstand about what I said in there?” He used his thumb to point over his shoulder toward the bedroom.

  “None of that meant you wanted me to move in.” It kind of had, but I needed to hear the words because I was a girl, and girls needed copious amounts of confirmation.

  “I told you I wanted to wake up next to you, go to sleep next to you. How is that going to happen if you live somewhere else?” He had a valid point, but I still needed more.

  It couldn’t, although I wasn’t ready to concede since I hadn’t gotten what I wanted. “I don’t know.”

  Ryker turned toward me, and with his hands
on my hips, he angled me to face him. “I know it’s unconventional, and I’m probably out of my mind for suggesting it, but it’s not like my life has followed the straight and narrow. I want you here. Every day. In my bed. In my home.” That was hot as hell and almost had me convinced.

  “And what am I supposed to do about a job? You don’t really live in an area where I can walk to work.” It was a truth I had to face. Regardless of whether I wanted to live with him or not, there were logistics we had to consider.

  He stared into my eyes, and I watched as his pupils dilated, pulsing with each breath he took. “Why do you have to work?”

  I laughed. “Umm, to contribute to the bills? We both want to get out of here someday. If I’m living with you, I’d like to think we’d make that escape together. That will take money.”

  “But is that what you really want to do? If money wasn’t a consideration, would you want to get a job waiting tables in Glendale Heights?”

  “No, of course not, but I don’t have a lot of options, Ryker. I don’t even have a car much less a skill.” The topic soured my stomach.

  He cupped my jaw in his palm, and the heat of his skin pushed away the insecurity I felt admitting my limitations. “If you could do anything, what would it be?”

  I’d never confessed my dreams to anyone. When a girl grows up in Glendale Heights, in Dacon, Illinois, the best she could hope for was to get out of town. Girls like me didn’t dare imagine a life with a white picket fence and two-point-five kids, much less a house in the burbs with a career instead of a dead-end job.

  I inhaled, gathering the courage to admit this while hoping he didn’t make fun of me for envisioning a life that was so far out of reach. “I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.” It was probably the least likely thing he expected to hear. The truth was, finding me on Swank’s stage was much more apropos than in a classroom.