Colin adjusted the water so both of them stood in warm spray before he reached for body wash. Pouring some green liquid that smelled of pine trees into his palm, he looked at Hernán for permission. At the small nod, he began working up a lather to run hands over Hernán’s broad shoulders, muscled chest and sinewy arms. Hernán’s firm body responding to his touch was nothing short of a miracle, one he drew out as long as he could.
He had Hernán raise his arms alternately so he could admire the stretch of his bicep and lats while he washed his pits. He pulled suds along Hernán’s arms and to his fingertips. Crouching, he worked down Hernán’s leanly muscled thighs and legs, his dick hanging thick and heavy mere inches from Colin’s face. So tempting to open his mouth and draw it in, but he wasn’t sure Hernán could take that much intimacy so soon.
With a glance up to make sure it was all right, he worked lather through Hernán’s pubic hair and then stroked his hooded cock and washed his balls. He tugged on Hernán’s hip lightly until he turned around to permit Colin to wash his ass as well. Colin stood to finish washing Hernán’s back, rotating his pliant body in the spray to rinse off all the soap.
Hernán was smiling at him when he finished, so Colin reached for the shampoo and washed Hernán’s hair as well. Hernán tilted his head left and right to rinse while Colin quickly scrubbed himself clean. The water had started to cool by the time he shut the faucets off and grabbed two towels.
When they were dry, Hernán wrapped a towel around his waist before he pulled Colin into another hug. The woodsy scent rising from Hernán’s body was fresh and clean, his skin warm, when he leaned against Colin’s body. “Thank you,” he sighed. “For being so patient. For washing me. All of it.”
Colin kissed the top of his head. “That was hot, Nán. I’ve never done anything like it before. I mean, just lie there together and, um, jack. It somehow seemed even more intimate than other things I’ve done.”
Hernán tensed slightly. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to do those other things—”
“It doesn’t matter if we never do them,” Colin cut him off. “Being with you this way feels so good. I can tell you trust me, and that makes me very happy.”
“I do trust you,” Hernán said. He angled his head to catch Colin’s gaze. “You heard my story today and you didn’t run away. I didn’t know if you’d be able to handle it.”
“To tell you the truth, it made me furious anyone could treat you so badly.”
Hernán nodded and smiled. “I know. I could see the warrior coming out in your eyes. It made me brave too.”
“Warrior? Me?” Colin scoffed but Hernán pulled him in tighter.
“Yes, you. I saw it first when we were in Provincetown and you got mad about Gerald. You have a warrior inside you who will take no shit. It’s why I feel safe with you. I know you’ll protect me if you can.”
Colin’s ears burned and he mumbled, “Of course I will. But I don’t… I mean, I’ve never even been in a fight.”
“I don’t mean that kind of protection. I can’t explain it any better.”
“Okay.” Colin hesitated. He wanted to ask Hernán to spend the night with him but indecision paralyzed him again. Was that going too far? Would Hernán feel Colin was pressuring him?
They walked out of the bathroom and into Colin’s bedroom. Hernán turned to look up at him.
Ask him to stay.
But he couldn’t. The risk of shattering their fragile beginning was too great. After a moment, Hernán gave him another kiss. He said, “I’ll see you in the morning,” before returning to his own room.
Colin sighed as he pulled back his comforter and climbed into cold sheets. He began to replay how much they had done, and pictured Hernán’s beautiful body.
That night was just a start, he hoped. He could wait for more, no matter how long it took. Even if they never went further than they had, touching and stroking and showering together, it would be enough. Hernán was worth it.
Chapter 18
Hernán woke abruptly in his darkened room with the sense he’d shouted. Sheets twisted around his waist, the Henley and flannel pants he slept in were soaked with sweat, and his skin was clammy and cold. He didn’t know why.
A dream. It had to have been.
Vague recollection settled in. Lonnie again, like always, coming closer and closer. There had been a locked door, right? He had been very afraid, and terribly alone.
He closed his eyes and tried to recall the rest. Like pressing his tongue against a sore tooth, he didn’t want to remember but couldn’t help trying.
A gentle rap on the open door to his room startled him. Colin stood in the hallway, respectfully keeping his distance. “Hernán? Are you all right? I heard you shout something.” The concern in his voice reached into Hernán’s quivering heart, and brought with it calm.
“You can come in,” he said softly. Both had spoken in low tones, even with no one else in the apartment to disturb.
Colin padded toward the bed, his bare feet rasping quietly on the carpet. Even two weeks before, Hernán had lain sleepless for fear he would hear that sound, but tonight it meant someone cared.
In the dim light Hernán could tell Colin wore sleep pants and a T-shirt. He shifted up in the bed until he was propped by the pillows, and he untangled the sheets and blanket as best he could. Colin sank cautiously onto the edge of the bed, as if afraid to get too close. One hand began to reach for Hernán but then pulled back abruptly.
Hernán took the wandering hand and twined his fingers through it. Colin squeezed back.
“I’m fine. Just a bad dream,” Hernán said.
“Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes that helps.”
“I really don’t even remember what it was about. It was probably nothing.”
Colin let it go, but he raised Hernán’s hand and kissed his knuckles. It was such a casual gesture that Colin no doubt thought nothing of it. Hernán, though… He recalled his grandmother rapping his hand over and over with a hot spoon. The brush of Colin’s lips against his knuckles suddenly felt more real to him than the remembered cruelty. Softer, kinder, more…
Colin said, “Okay. Let me know if you need anything.” He began to rise but Hernán held onto his hand tightly. His heart fluttered again, but for a different reason than his fading nightmare. It wasn’t fear, but anticipation.
“Stay,” he said softly. When Colin hesitated, Hernán moved over on the bed to make room. With his free hand, he threw back the blanket and sheet. Colin made a pleased little sound that brought a smile to Hernán’s face. He hesitated for a moment longer, and then climbed into the bed.
They lay facing each other in the darkened room, still joined by one hand. “I’m sorry I woke you up,” Hernán whispered.
“Don’t be sorry,” Colin answered. Cautiously he leaned forward to give Hernán a chaste kiss on the lips.
The kind warmth Colin offered was exactly what he’d craved. After their explorations the week before, and the intimacy of the shower, he hadn’t been sure what to make of Colin not asking him to share his bed.
Rationally, he supposed it was Colin’s way to avoid pressuring him, and for that he was grateful. They’d hugged often in the days after, and even made out like teenagers lying on the sofa. When Hernán felt Colin’s hardness through his clothes, he no longer shied away. He replayed their night together often when he was alone, grasping his dick as he remembered the feel of Colin’s hands on him. Yet they had not been so intimate again in reality.
The raw, exposed part of him, though—the part that had relived his most horrific memories not only in front of Colin but a stranger as well—wanted more. He needed to be wrapped up and sheltered and comforted, but he was incapable of asking. Instead he just hoped irrationally Colin could divine his distress.
Shyness might have defeated Colin the week before, but he came immediately when Hernán needed him. His presence began to make Hernán relax, but the clamminess of his pajamas was embarrassing. It would keep him fro
m falling asleep.
“Hold on,” he muttered, and then jumped out of bed for a moment. He yanked off his shirt and his pants, but hesitated in the slight chill of the apartment. Put on another set of clothes? he wondered. Nerves twanged in his chest.
Or lie there exposed, like a slut for the taking… His grandmother’s mocking voice in his head nearly made him scramble for the clothes chest.
Then he saw Colin’s eyes shining in a small sliver of light. Admiration, longing and desire danced there, but none of the arrogant possessiveness with which Lonnie had glared at him. They had already seen each other naked. Colin had respected his limitations and hadn’t pressured Hernán for more than he could give.
He suddenly ached to feel Colin’s skin against his own all over again, and with that he forced away the hateful voice of a hard, old woman.
I will do this. I’m strong enough.
He climbed back into bed naked and tugged on the hem of Colin’s t-shirt. Colin nodded and shucked his pajamas, tossing them into the corner of the room and waiting to follow Hernán’s lead. Hernán rolled over to face the same direction as Colin and shimmied until the length of Colin’s body pressed along his back and legs.
Colin’s arm came over his body and under his arm to hold him around the waist, loosely enough Hernán didn’t feel trapped, securely enough he felt safe.
The remaining tension drained from his body and he sighed contentedly. Colin kissed the back of his head and settled down himself. In moments Hernán fell asleep again, and that time it was dreamless.
When he woke a few hours later, the warmth against his nude back and the weight of an arm on his chest were momentarily alarming. He stiffened in fear until he heard a soft snuffle. Colin. There was no reason he should recognize that sleep sound, yet he did.
Hernán also realized two more things: he badly needed to pee, and he was rock hard. A slight, exploratory twitch of his hips against Colin’s sleeping body disclosed he wasn’t alone in the morning wood dilemma.
Consternation made his muscles tense. He’d never been in such a situation before, and he cursed himself as an idiot for sleeping naked. What had he been thinking? He didn’t want to lead Colin on. God knew the pleasure of a warm body wrapped with his gave him the most peaceful night he could recall in a year but… What would Colin think of him? Would he expect Hernán to go all the way? And if he didn’t, would he think Hernán was just a cruel tease?
The insistent pressures on his bladder and on his brain warred. “Hernán, relax,” he heard Colin mutter sleepily into his ear. “I don’t expect anything.”
How did he know what was bothering me?
“I, uh, I kind of have to pee.”
Colin kissed his hair and muttered, “Go pee then. Imma sleep some more.” And he was out again.
Hernán envied his easy slumber, as he climbed gingerly out of the bed. What kind of privileged life did it take for a man to enjoy such untroubled rest?
Crossing the hall to his bathroom, he stood over the bowl. He had to press down on his hard dick to angle it properly. Normally a good piss was enough to relieve his erection in the morning, but he remained conscious there was a man in his bed. In Colin’s spare bed? In the bed he was using? With a snort of disgust at himself, he flushed and then washed his hands quickly.
A glance in the mirror surprised him. His eyes were brighter than normal; the dark circles greeting him were less pronounced. And was that a smirk?
“Do it, Hernán,” he said sternly to his reflection.
After what Colin had said about Brandon and his crush on Hernán, the way they’d been together the week before, his respect in the nights after… He realized he’d already known. Colin had shown him every day since they met how important Hernán was to him. Once he’d let go of his lingering jealousy for Brandon, it seemed obvious.
“Colin thinks he’s in love with you,” the man in the mirror told him. “Show him how you feel.”
His stomach churned and his balls tightened. He wasn’t sure whether the reaction was fear, or the memory of spying on Rudy as he moved in the near-dark with some random partner, both moaning softly with pleasure. Mirror-Hernán was having no part of his confusion. “No one is taking anything. If you give it freely, it’s still yours.”
He rinsed out his mouth, splashed water in his face, and tried to regulate his breathing. “Okay, okay, okay,” he chanted quietly.
After turning off the light he returned to the bedroom. Colin lay askew, blanket up almost to his nose, hair sticking out in every direction. He gave the slightest snore and Hernán’s heart turned over. The adorably awkward man currently sleeping in his bed was prepared to do anything in his power for Hernán. So Hernán had to be brave as well.
He slid back under the blanket, took a deep breath, and shifted over until he found Colin’s warm body. His shins fit against Colin’s calves. His thighs touched the back of Colin’s legs. His chest met the middle of Colin’s ribcage, and his belly fitted into the small of Colin’s back, right where it curved down to the top of his ass.
Colin gave out the sweetest, most contended sigh Hernán had ever heard, and practically melted back against Hernán’s body.
The last place they were separated vanished as Colin’s butt pressed against Hernán’s groin. His dick, which had never gone down completely despite the piss, surged to life. It involuntarily flexed along the warm crevice between Colin’s cheeks.
The snoring stopped entirely and Hernán felt the tension rise beneath Colin’s skin. Now. Show him. He wrapped his arm around Colin’s chest and pressed lips to the spikes of hair standing up from his scalp, and then he rocked his hips so his cock slid along the smooth flesh of Colin’s ass.
Colin clutched Hernán’s arm enclosing him and released a shuddering breath. He pressed back until Hernán’s hard shaft nestled securely against him. Without turning his head, Colin said in a husky voice, “Whatever you want, Nán. I swear. Anything.”
Hernán slid his arm down over Colin’s tight stomach and found his hard shaft, already damp at the tip when his fingers traced lightly around the head of it. The sensation of Colin’s dick in his palm, the heat and weight and smoothness of it, fired something in Hernán’s belly. Something like desire. No, more than that. A burning need rose in Hernán’s chest, to connect with Colin as he’d never wanted with any other person.
“I’d like…” He paused, licked his lips and tried again. “Colin, may I make love to you?”
Colin rolled over abruptly to face him. His eyes were bright and shiny and his cheeks were pink as he held Hernán’s gaze. He nodded and then clutched Hernán’s hand in his as they kissed. Hernán let himself become more aggressive, using his tongue to nudge open Colin’s mouth before he plunged in.
It was nothing like the terrible room with Lonnie, where every shred of his dignity was ripped away by a cruel, grasping man. Instead, it was shared pleasure. Colin offered everything but demanded nothing.
With each stroke of his hand, with each thrust of cock against cock, Hernán let himself yield and take in equal measure. So much fire burned between their tongues, their lips, their clasped hands, that Hernán whimpered. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes.
He broke off and bent his neck to control his emotions, until Colin’s lips pressed against his forehead. Suddenly Rudy’s chatter about his favorite lube or brand of condoms ghosted through his head.
“Do you have…stuff?” he asked Colin shyly, hearing the eagerness and embarrassment at war in his tone.
Colin kissed his hair and said, “I’ll be right back.” He hurried away to his own room and returned in moments with a small box of condoms and a black plastic tube. Tossing them onto the bedside table, he climbed under the blanket and pulled Hernán to him.
They kissed more and Hernán stroked along Colin’s back, his neck, down his arms with increasingly sure hands while their erections rubbed against each other.
Colin broke away to meet Hernán’s eye. Hesitantly, he asked, “
Have you done this before?” Hernán bit his lower lip and shook his head slightly. “Is it okay if I show you what I need?”
Hernán whispered, “Teach me. Please.”
On his back again, Colin retrieved the black tube, popped it open, and then drizzled clear liquid into Hernán’s palm and over his fingertips. “You’re really thick, and I haven’t done this in a long time. It’ll feel better if you use your fingers to, um, help me open up.”
Light dawned. “You want me to put my fingers in your ass?” he asked. Colin blushed as he nodded. Hernán said softly, “I’m sorry if that’s crude. I don’t know how else to ask.”
They shifted around until Hernán could easily reach between Colin’s legs, one raised and bent. He ran his slick palm over Colin’s hard shaft, down to his silky-smooth scrotum, along the taut skin between his legs, and then up along his crease. He found the pucker and immediately began to circle that little furled muscle with the pads of two fingers.
Colin moaned slightly and pressed back against his hand. His eyes grew fevered and he lunged to capture Hernán’s mouth just as Hernán pressed inward with the tip of his index finger. The heat fascinated him, as did the way Colin began to rut.
A part of my body is inside his. The revelation of how soft and warm Colin felt around his finger made his erection iron-hard. Soon he would be encased in that warmth. The yearning in his belly, the dryness in his mouth, made it difficult to wait, though the way Colin gripped his finger made him wonder how he would ever fit inside.
“Slide it in and out,” Colin said breathlessly, and he clenched around the intrusion. His lean body, naked and smooth on the white sheets, writhed and shuddered. His blue eyes caught a glimmer of light, flashing sapphire as he gazed up adoringly. Hernán had never seen anyone more handsome.
Hernán claimed a kiss as he began to piston his finger, each time going slightly deeper, until Colin gasped and pressed their bodies together. “Two now,” he instructed hoarsely, but Hernán was getting the hang of it. He felt Colin relaxing, taking more and more of him inside. He pulled out, waited for Colin’s small noise of protest, and then slid back into Colin’s hole.
Asylum (Pride and Joy Book 2) Page 20
