Phredde and the Purple Pyramid

by Jackie French

  ‘No.’ Bruce shook his head. ‘There should be ones on the floor, too. It’s a bit odd.’

  ‘A bit odd!’ I began to yell, then didn’t, because my voice kept echoing oddoddoddodd. I shut my voice down to a whisper. ‘A great, dark, mysterious tunnel opens in the middle of the school oval and you think it’s a BIT odd.’

  ‘Okay, really odd,’ said Bruce. ‘You know, maybe …’

  ‘Maybe what?’ demanded Phredde.

  ‘Maybe we shouldn’t have come down here.’

  Phredde snorted. ‘Scaredy cat,’ she said.

  ‘I’m not!’

  ‘Well, a scaredy frog then. Pru isn’t scared. Are you, Pru?’

  ‘Um,’ I said and listened to the echo down the tunnel umumumumumum … I really LIKE having phaeries for best friends and having adventures like being kidnapped by giant butterflies2 or cannibal phaeries with giant bloodsucking mosquitoes.3 But sometimes, just sometimes, like when we were being chased by that dinosaur last school excursion,4 I wondered what it would be like just to be normal and not have any adventures at all …

  … and then I realised that would be TOTALLY, UTTERLY BORING!!!!!! And started wondering what would happen next.

  ‘No, I am not scared,’ I said decidedly, tromping down the tunnel so hard that the grey dust rose around my feet. ‘Come on!’

  Chapter 4

  Further Down the Tunnel

  So we walked. It was okay for the first half-hour or so — I mean walking down a mysterious, cold grey tunnel is interesting even if nothing happens. But when nothing happens for half an hour …

  ‘When do you think something will happen?’ I asked.

  ‘Like what?’ asked Bruce, hopping beside me.

  ‘Like a bloodsucking ghoul jumps out at us or a massive venomous spider attacks us or …’

  ‘Do you WANT a massive spider to attack you?’ asked Bruce, interested.

  ‘No, of course not,’ I said.

  ‘Cause I could PING! one up for you if you like,’ he offered generously.

  I glared at him. Boys have no finesse. ‘I just want something to happen!’ I said.

  ‘Last time you said that the tunnel opened,’ Phredde pointed out.

  We all held our breath for a second to see if something else would happen, like a giant venomous spider appearing. Then Bruce said, ‘Well, something happened.’

  ‘What?’ I demanded.

  ‘A drop of water landed on my head.’

  ‘Huh,’ I said.

  We kept on walking. Well, okay, hopping, flying and walking.

  It was pretty boring to tell the truth. In fact I was almost wishing I was back in the froggy sex lesson, when …

  ‘Hey!’ I yelled. ‘There’s something there!’

  ‘Where?’ asked Phredde, flapping up to the ceiling excitedly.

  ‘Down the tunnel! Look!’

  Phredde fluttered down ahead of us. ‘It’s a stone tablet!’ she yelled.

  ‘Like … like an aspirin or vitamin C or something?’

  ‘No, dopey. The sort of tablet you write on.’

  ‘I never write on tablets. I write on paper or the computer or …’

  ‘The sort of stone tablet they used to write on in the olden days,’ said Phredde impatiently. ‘Like in Ancient Greece and Rome and Ancient Egypt and places like that.’

  Bruce and I had caught up to her now. I peered down at the tablet. It looked like a big grey rock to me, but all smooth on one side with funny scribbles on it. I looked at the scribbles more closely. They looked like tiny pictures.

  ‘Well, what do they say?’ I demanded.

  ‘How should I know?’ said Phredde. ‘I don’t read scribble.’

  Bruce hopped closer. ‘I think they’re hieroglyphs,’ he decided.

  ‘Hire-a what?’ demanded Phredde.

  ‘Hieroglyphs. That was the writing they used in Ancient Egypt. You remember, I did my project on Ancient Egypt this term.’

  ‘Oh, yeah,’ I said. ‘Well, what do they say?’

  ‘How do I know?’ said Bruce. ‘The only hieroglyphs I learnt were the ones that said, “If you enter this tomb you are cursed eternally”.’

  ‘These hieroglyphs don’t say that, do they?’ I asked a bit nervously.

  ‘Nope,’ said Bruce.

  ‘Well PING! up a translator or something,’ I said impatiently. Phaeries! If you want a new idea, don’t ask a phaery. (I suppose that’s why they’re still living in castles in Phaeryland and don’t have mobile phones yet.)

  ‘Oh, right,’ said Phredde.

  PING!

  Suddenly a big black bangle snapped around my wrist, just like the translators in that movie Phredde and I saw last week, ‘Santa Claus and the Alien Invasion’. Phredde and Bruce both had one too. I pressed the button.

  Nothing happened.

  ‘Hey, Phredde!’ I said.

  ‘Oops,’ said Phredde. ‘I forgot to add the translator thingie to the bangles.’

  PING! The pictures on the tablet blurred. Suddenly printed letters stood out, black against the pale grey stone. I peered forward to read them.

  ‘Help!’ I read. ‘We in the past have called you from the future. We need a heroine! A girl who is brave and brilliant!’

  ‘Hey, they must mean me!’ I announced.

  ‘Why not me or Bruce?’ demanded Phredde.

  ‘Because it says girl, see? And you’re a phaery and he’s a frog and, anyway, he’s a boy.’

  ‘Brave and brilliant?’ enquired Bruce.

  I glared at him. ‘Are you saying I’m not brave and brilliant?’ I demanded.

  ‘Um,’ said Bruce.

  ‘Look,’ I said, ‘I got eight out of ten in the last maths exam. And as for brave — hey, I’m here aren’t I?”

  Phredde considered. ‘Yep. Sounds like you,’ she agreed. Bruce nodded.

  I looked at the words on the tablet again.

  Come down the time tunnel if you dare to help us in our time of danger! But if you are weak of heart or frightened, go no further! This tunnel will wait through the ages until she who is brave and brilliant finds us. Signed, Fluffy, Queen of the Nile.

  ‘Cool!’ I said. ‘Queen of the Nile! That means Ancient Egypt!’ I danced around the tablet, my sneakers kicking up dust. ‘We’re going to Ancient Egypt! We’re going to Ancient Egypt!’

  This was a LOT more fun than learning about frog sex! I stopped and gazed around. ‘How cool is that? This tunnel has been waiting for me for … how long has it been since Egypt was ancient?’

  ‘About five thousand years since Upper and Lower Egypt was united,’ said Bruce. ‘The pyramids were built about four thousand years ago and …’

  ‘How do you know all this?’ I asked, impressed.

  ‘It was all in my project. I told you!’

  I nodded. I’d done my project on ‘Our Friend the Platypus’. I sort of wished I’d done it on something a bit more useful. Though of course if we were confronted with a savage man- or girl-, frog- and phaery-eating platypus back in Ancient Egypt, my assignment would be REALLY useful!

  Bruce peered at the inscription again. ‘Fluffy, Queen of the Nile,’ he mused.

  ‘I bet she’s tall and has long black hair and a zillion jewels,’ I said. ‘And a gold throne and …’

  ‘She’s a cat,’ said Bruce.

  ‘… and gold plates and … huh?’ I said.

  ‘I bet she’s a cat,’ said Bruce patiently. ‘Fluffy, see? That’s a cat’s name. What human queen is going to be called “Fluffy”? Queen Fluffy the First — I don’t think so.’

  ‘But how can a cat be queen?’ I demanded.

  ‘Because cats were worshipped in Ancient Egypt. They thought cats were sooooo cool. There are even cat mummies with their own tombs. I bet Fluffy is Chief Royal Cat — Queen of the Cats — and she knows her owners are in danger and she’s called for help from the future.’

  ‘Coool!’ I said. ‘Let’s g …’ I stopped.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ asked
Phredde.

  ‘Well, the message does say “danger”,’ I said slowly. ‘Maybe marching along a tunnel into Ancient Egypt to help a royal cat mightn’t be, well, totally absolutely SAFE.’

  Phredde’s face fell.

  ‘But what the heck!’ I added. ‘You’re with me. And Bruce too! And both of you have all your magic allowances with you this time! If there’s any REAL danger you can PING! us back to school!’

  Bruce nodded. ‘Sounds okay to me.’

  ‘Me too,’ agreed Phredde.

  ‘Then let’s go!’ I said. ‘After all, what can possibly happen to us?’

  Chapter 5

  The Wall of Nothingness

  We found the next message five minutes later. It had been a pretty boring five minutes. I mean, as adventures went, so far this one was just dust, rock and clammy air.

  The message was on a rock, just like the first one, all little funny pictures. I bent down and pressed my translator bangle.

  To the brave brilliant heroine! Hurry! Signed, Fluffy, Queen of the Nile.

  ‘What’s the hurry?’ I asked. ‘They’ve been waiting for five thousand years! Anyway, I’m hungry. I vote we stop and you can PING! up some pizza and maybe some lemonade and cherries and some of those little fish balls with chilli sauce.’

  Phredde fluttered down and perched on my shoulder. ‘I think the message is right,’ she said. ‘I think we need to hurry.’

  ‘Huh? Look, if they want a heroine they can wait till I’ve had lunch …’

  ‘Phredde is right!’ interjected Bruce.

  ‘Look, who’s the heroine here? I need feeding if I’m going to be heroic! Give me one good reason why we can’t take a break and have a snack!’

  ‘Because the tunnel is dissolving behind us,’ said Phredde.

  ‘Oh,’ I said. I glanced up the tunnel. ‘OH!’

  Where there’d been a long grey tunnel and rock and dust there was now nothing. I mean NOTHING. Just an empty haze that slowly thickened as it drifted towards us.

  ‘Run!’ I shrieked.

  So we ran. Well, I ran, my sneakers clomping up a cloud of dust, and Bruce hopped and Phredde flew like a wasp after some kid’s can of lemonade. After about five minutes of galloping through the dust I looked back. The empty mist was a long way behind us now.

  ‘I think …’ I panted, ‘we can slow down a bit!’

  ‘Hey, there’s another message!’ said Phredde.

  This one was inscribed on the wall. I pressed my translator bangle and studied it. It said:

  You don’t have to run like you’re being chased by a savage hippopotamus! Just walk fairly fast and you’ll be fine. Signed, Fluffy, Queen of the Nile.

  ‘Right,’ I said. ‘I wonder what Her Majesty, Queen Fluffy, thinks is “fairly fast”?’

  ‘She means no stopping for pizza and fish balls with chilli sauce,’ said Bruce. ‘I suppose it makes sense. They’re not going to leave the tunnel open for just anyone to wander down it. So they’re dissolving it behind us.’

  ‘Good point,’ I said. Even though Phredde and Bruce had frozen the rest of the class, I could just imagine some other kid skiving off school and wandering down after us.

  This was my adventure! I didn’t want to share it!

  (I didn’t want there to be any confusion, either, as to exactly which human girl was the heroine if some other girl came down the tunnel. Amelia a heroine? I don’t think so.)

  ‘Er, Phredde, Bruce?’ I said.

  ‘Mmm?’ said Bruce, gazing at the ceiling. ‘You know there aren’t any flies in here,’ he complained. He brightened. ‘I wonder what Ancient Egyptian scarab beetles taste like!’

  ‘Forget about your stomach for a while,’ I said. ‘Are you and Phredde sure you can get us back to our own time safely if the tunnel dissolves?’

  ‘Yep,’ said Phredde. ‘It’s not like when we went back to the dinosaurs.5 We don’t have to use up all our magic getting into the past. And, anyway, we’re not going so far back in years. We’ll have plenty of magic to get back home again.’

  ‘And to PING! up pizzas when we get there,’ added Bruce. ‘And a few juicy mosquitoes if the ones by the Nile don’t taste so good.’

  I shot a quick glance behind us. The empty mist was getting closer.

  ‘We’d better keep going,’ I said, just as we passed another sign that said:

  Good girl! Signed, Fluffy, Queen of the Nile.

  Chapter 6

  The Time Tunnel Ends

  ‘How much further?’ sighed Phredde, her wings drooping. We’d been trudging through the dust for hours now.

  I glanced at the wall. Sure enough, there was another message carved in the rock.

  You’re nearly there. Signed, Fluffy, Queen of the Nile.

  ‘Nearly where?’ I muttered. ‘Who does that cat think she is?’

  ‘Queen of the Nile,’ said Phredde. She peered behind her. ‘My wings are getting dusty in here,’ she complained.

  I looked back. At least the nothingness was a long way behind us now. Just for a moment I wondered what would have happened if all that emptiness caught up with us. Would we have faded into nothingness too?

  I thrust the thought away. The emptiness hadn’t caught up with us. And Fluffy said we were nearly there, wherever ‘there’ was. Maybe our destination was just around the next corner, except there weren’t any corners in the tunnel, just …

  ‘Hey!’ yelled Phredde, zooming up above me and peering ahead.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I can see the end of the tunnel!’

  ‘Really? Great! What can you see?’

  ‘The end of the tunnel!’

  ‘Huh? You said that!’

  ‘But that’s all there is!’ cried Phredde. She sounded a bit nervous, suddenly. ‘Just this rock wall. Like whoever dug this tunnel just stopped digging!’

  ‘But … but the tunnel has to go somewhere! It can’t just stop!’

  ‘But it does!’ yelled Phredde.

  Bruce jumped up as high as he could. ‘She’s right!’ he called. ‘I can’t see over it! It’s solid!’

  ‘It can’t be!’ I ran forward, then stopped as I came to the wall of rock. I gazed around frantically. Rock above us, rock on three sides and behind us the wall of emptiness getting closer and closer …

  ‘Quick, look for a message from Fluffy!’ I screamed.

  ‘There isn’t one!’ cried Bruce.

  ‘There has to be one! She’s left us messages all along the tunnel! She has to tell us what to do now!’ I peered back up the tunnel. The emptiness was getting closer …

  ‘Phredde, check the ceiling in case Fluffy left a message up there!’

  ‘How could a cat leave a message on a ceiling?’ objected Bruce.

  ‘How could a cat leave a magic tunnel for us to march down? Phredde, start checking!’

  Phredde zoomed up. ‘Nothing here!’ she reported.

  ‘There has to be!’ I wailed.

  Suddenly, the air seemed cold, as though the warmth was being sucked from our bones. I didn’t dare turn round now. I knew the emptiness would be right behind.

  What would happen when it reached us, I thought desperately. Would we just slowly dissolve too?

  ‘PING! us out of here!’ I screamed.

  ‘We can’t!’ cried Phredde.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because it’s a magic tunnel! You can’t magic someone else’s magic!’

  ‘But you said you could PING! us back!’

  ‘Yeah!’ yelled Bruce. ‘When we’re out of the magic tunnel we can PING! But not now!’

  ‘But …’ I gazed round frantically. ‘Start digging through the wall then!’

  ‘With what? That’s solid rock!’ shrieked Phredde.

  ‘We have to try!’ I beat on the rock with my fists. ‘We can’t just let the emptiness take us. We …’ I stopped. The rock wall shuddered under my hand.

  Creak … It sounded like giant hinges that hadn’t been used for five thousand years. I
t was giant hinges that hadn’t been used for five thousand years, I realised suddenly.

  Slowly, slowly, the great rock door began to open.

  ‘You only had to knock on the door!’ breathed Phredde, perching on my shoulder.

  Bruce took my hand in his froggy paw. ‘Whatever’s out there,’ he said, ‘we’ll all face it together.’

  I didn’t say anything in case my voice disappeared into a squeak.

  The great rock door swung open.

  Chapter 7

  Out of the Time Tunnel

  Light. Dazzling golden light, so bright I thought a million torches were shining in our faces. There was nothing in the world but light. Then slowly I realised that it was just ordinary daylight, glaring at us after the dimness of the tunnel.

  The tunnel! I spun around, just as the grey nothingness swallowed the last centimetres of the tunnel. Now there was just a rocky cliff, hot and solid behind us.

  ‘!’6 someone chanted.

  ‘Huh?’ I blinked and looked around.

  We were in a dry gully, with high bare hills around us and the cliff behind. A crowd of people knelt before us on the hard red dirt. They had brown skin and short black hair, and were all dressed in funny white sarong-like things.

  ‘!’ chanted the crowd.

  ‘What’s going on?’ I demanded. ‘Are we in Ancient Egypt?’

  ‘I think so,’ said Bruce slowly.

  ‘Why are all these people bowing down in the sand then?’ I insisted.

  Phredde shook her head beside me. ‘Don’t ask me,’ she said. Bruce shrugged, which did funny things to his froggy shoulders. ‘No idea either,’ he said.

  ‘But you’re the expert on Ancient Egypt!’

  ‘One assignment doesn’t make me that much of an expert!’ Bruce protested.

  ‘I can’t even see any pyramids!’ I complained.

  ‘The Pyramids aren’t built yet. Besides, there weren’t pyramids all over the place!’ said Bruce. ‘Most of them are at Giza.’

  ‘Where’s Giza?’

  ‘Dunno,’ said Bruce. ‘But I bet it’s not here.’

  ‘ …’ the crowd chanted again.

  The crowd sounded like it was getting a bit impatient even though their faces were pressed almost into the sand. I pressed my translator bracelet.