Kill Me

by Alex Owens

  Part of me hoped that we had something real, something tangible, even when I understood that I’d been under her spell for most of the last few days and not acting on my own desires. Was wanting something a good enough reason to get it?

  And what about Dangerous?

  Was Bette mad about that? I couldn’t tell. She didn’t look mad, but she was hard to read, so much going on under that stunning veneer of hers.

  God, I was babbling. The fact that I was babbling to myself, in my own damn head, made it that much worse.

  “Clara, can you hear me?” Bette said.

  Rough hands pulled down my skirt. The fabric scratched at my bare legs, shooting odd sensations through my skin. A body pressed against me from behind, strong arms wrapping around me. It was him—Dangerous. I could smell him, musky and salty, behind me.

  “How did it feel, your first time?” Dangerous whispered in my ear.

  A warm shiver ran up my spine and I responded, “Divine.”

  He backed away and the fog lifted from my brain like a curtain. My gaze landed on Morgan, unconscious on the bench. Dark sat beside her with his hand upon her wrist and a scowl upon his face. Time stuttered as my brain connected the dots.

  My stomach dropped, remembering what I’d done. “Oh my God, is she...” my voice faltered.

  I couldn’t bring myself to say it. No, I could not even bring myself to think it. I wasn’t a killer.

  Please, don’t let me be a killer.

  Nervous glances were shared around the room. Time skipped another beat and my full belly suddenly felt like a lead ball, anchoring me to the floor. I wanted to throw up but I didn’t even know if it was possible. I wanted to die, to trade places with Morgan. She didn’t deserve that.

  Dark finally spoke up, “She’s resting. You took too much but she’ll be fine after a long rest and some vitamins. You need to learn the art of restraint.”

  I covered my face with my hands and sat down. I’d almost killed Morgan. It was little consolation that I hadn’t. I could have. I was armed and dangerous even when I didn’t realize it. My god, what had I become? I was some kind of monster. The question was how was I going to live with my new self?

  I was a single mother with responsibilities and that was hard enough, but a Vampire mommy? That was unheard of. How was I going to function? I needed answers. I needed help.

  Popular culture had twisted vampire mythology so much that I had no idea what was actually true about them. Details, tiny little details that would affect every minute of my life for who knows how long and I was uninformed.

  I wiped the tears from my face and looked around the room. The other strippers were gone, just leaving the five of us and Morgan.

  “Are you sure that she’s okay?” I asked again.

  China checked her pulse and nodded. “Yup. She’ll be fine. You’re lucky that Clive here skips the foreplay in favor of a quicker transaction, otherwise we might not have noticed in time.”

  She’d motioned to Dark and I wasn’t surprised at all. He looked the part and was one example where judging a book by its cover was accurate. So, Dark was actually Clive. Creepy Clive. Yeah, it fit.

  So that must mean that Dangerous was named Gregor. Nice to finally know his name, though it would have been better to know before I’d had sex with him. Thinking of him, I scanned the room and saw him seated in the shadows of the back corner. I couldn’t see his face, which bugged me.

  Like any woman, I needed that post-sex validation. I’d felt like a slut for the first time in my life and I needed someone to reassure me that it was okay—that I was okay—even when I knew I wasn’t.

  “Clara,” Bette took me by the arm and led me to the front of the room. “We need to discuss this more, but not here.”

  I noticed the trepidation in her voice. She was worried, perhaps even scared.

  I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was in open water, fighting the pull of the riptide and sinking fast. I needed a moment to gather my thoughts.

  “I…I have to use the bathroom.” I said scurrying out of the booth and heading down the long hall. It was only after I closed the door behind me that I realized I couldn’t use running to the bathroom as an excuse anymore.

  After checking to be sure the room was empty, I looked in the mirror, expecting to see some drastic change in my appearance. Whatever I’d hoped to see wasn’t there. I still looked like me, only it was more like looking at the ghost of a life-past.

  It was all mirrors and smoke. A trick of light; an illusion.

  “If I had not intervened, you would have killed your little stripper girl.”

  I looked up in the mirror, and Dark/Clive was standing directly behind me. The hair on my neck stood up, fear cloaking me like a shroud. I was determined not to let him see me sweat, not to show weakness, but he was an old vampire that could kill me before anyone thought to come looking. He had the upper hand and we both knew it.

  “I suppose I owe you a thank you, then.” I kept my tone even despite the bite in my words.

  “I do not agree,” he said, stepping closer so that I felt dwarfed by his stature. It was a classic bully move. “By stopping you, I deprived you of completion.”

  I turned to face him, holding my ground. “Something tells me that’s one of many things we won’t see eye to eye on.”

  Power radiated off of him in waves and I stepped back away from him. He smirked and pushed me up against the sink.

  “Vampires are killing machines. We stalk people, we hunt them, and then we drain the blood from our victims. Anything less is incomplete. It is like an appetizer compared to a seven course meal. Or foreplay with no sex.”

  Geesh, what was it with Vampires and sex? I wanted to throw up (really, could I even do that anymore?) but I fought the feeling. I thought of Domino and how I’d channeled his anger. Maybe I could use Clive’s power against him as well.

  He held me by my shoulders and put his face close to mine. “Once you kill for the first time, whether by accident or not, you will know what I mean. To feel the life drain out of a body and into you is a feeling that cannot be described. It is what we are made for. Once you drink in their fear and pain, you’ll understand a little. After your first kill, the difference will be crystal clear.”

  I closed my eyes and cleared my head. I began to feel the pulse of Clive’s power washing over me. I opened my eyes and everything was blurry, like looking through a Vaseline-coated lens. The blurs flickered and the shadows waivered behind him.

  Domination—one word—but it summed up Clive’s basic need. He had to dominate everything. Well, I was one woman he would not control.

  “Let me make myself crystal clear, I see you for what you are,” I began, “a misogynistic bully with mommy issues. Now, get out of my way.”

  I poked one finger in his chest and a red bolt of static zapped audibly. Heat flamed in my chest and spread through my body like a wildfire. Clive’s jaw twitched and I could tell I was only seconds away from becoming his next meal.

  So much for Plan A.

  “Oh, the fun I’m going to have with you.” He licked his lips and leaned closer, baring his pointy teeth.

  Adrenaline surged through me, my body preparing for battle. Fight or flight—that is the question. I wished I had a third choice, because getting away didn’t seem possible, and I was certainly not up to taking on an older, stronger vampire just yet.

  I concentrated on that ball of white-hot light still burning within me and pushed against his chest. To my surprise, Clive didn’t move an inch. It hadn’t worked, not even a little bit.

  Since I couldn’t count on anything supernatural to help me out of the tight spot, I reached all the way back to a self-defense classes I’d taken ages ago. I was pretty sure that none of the moves I’d been taught to inflict pain would work on a vampire, so I went for throwing him off balance so that I could run.

  Instead of stepping away from him, I moved a step closer, looking the arrogant prick right in the eyes. With his a
ttention drawn to my face, I snaked my foot behind his, pushed my other foot back for leverage and shoved at his chest with everything I had. Clive may not have flown across the room, but he did stumble backwards just enough to seize my chance.

  I didn’t wait for his reaction. I ran out of the bathroom and back to the private room. Even though the room was full of vampires, it was the safest place for me at the moment. What a sad statement on my current situation.

  I thrust back the curtain and rushed into the booth. I had no idea if I was being chased, but my adrenaline wouldn’t let me stop and compose myself.

  “Ah, Clara,” Bette came to me, her brow furrowed. “Is everything okay?”

  Her face was strained and I knew she suspected that something had happened, but at least she had enough tact not to ask me about it directly. What was I going to say? “Clive tried to eat me” wasn’t a sentence I wanted to utter. Besides, with this group it would probably be taken the wrong way.

  “Yes, I’m just not feeling very well. Rough night,” I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant.

  Bette nodded in agreement, “Domino is on his way. We’ll take Morgan back to our hotel so she can rest and drop you off at your hotel on the way.”

  China brushed passed me, stopping in front of the curtained doorway. “Well, it’s been real.” She offered me a fake smile. “Nice to meet you Claire.” China swept out of the room without so much as a backward glance to Gregor, who stood further back in the room watching the rest of us.

  I looked away before he caught me staring. What was his problem? I guess he’d gotten what he wanted from me and now I was old news. As if I didn’t regret the past few hours enough.

  I needed some mind-bleach to strike the night from my permanent record.

  “Your driver is here, Elizabetta.” Clive strode into the room with his usual swagger and mumbled something to Gregor who turned and looked in my direction.

  Boys were stupid, all right, especially ones with sharp, pointy teeth.

  Domino entered the room and made a bee-line to Bette. He whispered to her before taking Morgan up in his arms. As he cradled the poor girl tenderly, Domino shot me a look that could only be interpreted as hostile.

  I quickly looked away, not wanting to soak up any of his anger again. Plus, I deserved it.

  “Domino is taking her out the back door. He’ll pull around and pick us up in the front,” said Bette.

  The two men joined us at the front of the room. Clive took my hand in his, kissed it and eyed me hungrily. He was such a creep he made my skin crawl like a thousand ants marched on it. I shuddered, pulling away from him.

  “I’ll be seeing you Clara.” He mimicked the way Bette said my name, which pissed me off even more. I hoped to never see him again, but something told me I wouldn’t be that lucky.

  I muttered “creep” under my breath as he left.

  Gregor stepped in front of me and I made myself face him. If I could actually feel my heart beating, I’m sure it would have skipped. Damn, he was handsome. He had a great poker-face too; I had to give him that. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all. I really didn’t want to know anyway—unless, of course, he was thinking something good about me. Gag, I was such a chick sometimes.

  “Are you coming Clara?” Bette touched my arm.

  “In a second,” I said a little too sharply. “I’ll meet you up front,” I tried again, offering up a warm smile to her.

  She nodded and left the room and I was alone with Gregor. He studied me, patient to let me speak first.

  I struggled to come up with something that wouldn’t sound stupid. “I’ve never done this type of thing before” was overplayed and not believable, even though it was true. “Thanks for the smoking hot sex” would make it sound like I had casual nookie all over the place.

  I exhausted myself thinking, so I decided to just be me. “I’m sorry; this is all so new to me...”

  Gregor looked amused as he thrust his hands into the pockets of his tailored Italian suit. He rocked back on his heels briefly, waiting for me to continue. I wanted to die, again. Could I be any more awkward and needy? I might as well say, “Love me please. I’m pathetic.”

  Finally, mercifully, he spoke. “It gets better.” He stepped closer to me and my breath hitched.

  I wasn’t sure what he meant. Being a vampire, or wicked vampire sex? I wasn’t sure which scared me more, truthfully.

  Gregor brushed a stray hair from my face, his fingers grazing my cheek. Instinctively, I grasped his hand as he lowered it. A tiny blue spark shot from my hand to his. He seemed not to notice.

  “What does?” I said.

  “The lifestyle. The powers. The love-making,” he said. “Everything ripens with time.” He flashed a boyish smile.

  “I guess I’ll have to take your word for that.” I struggled to hide my pleasure in hearing his words. I hoped they were true. Things just couldn’t get any worse. I didn’t think I could handle that.

  “You will see soon enough, even if I have to show you.” He embraced me, kissing for the first time despite our earlier encounter. His lips were cool, but still I flushed with warmth. The kiss ended too quickly, right on the border of passion and platonic, so I had no way to interpret it.

  “I’ll see you to the car.” Gregor ushered me out of the room and down the dark hallway. His hand was on my lower back and I liked the way it felt. Protective and a little territorial— but either way I was sad when he pulled away to hold the door.

  The limo waited right outside the door and Bette was already inside with Morgan.

  “Soon,” he whispered in my ear while touching my arm. And then he was gone. It happened so fast, I briefly wondered if vampires could fly, or at least move super-fast. I filed that away to ask Bette later. My list of questions for her was growing to epic proportions.

  “Coming, Clara?” Bette called from the limo.

  I secretly liked it when she called me that—Clara. It made me feel exotic and foreign. Why did Clive have to go and mess that up for me? Simple answer—he just wanted to get under my skin.

  Well, I wasn’t going to let him.

  I got in the limo with focused determination. I needed those answers now more than ever, and Bette was going to give them to me, even if I had to tease them out of her.

  Chapter 16

  The ride back to the hotel was a quick one. Traffic was spotty at two o’clock in the morning and in no time, we pulled up to my hotel.

  “Are you tired, Clara?” Bette asked as I scooted towards the door.

  “Not really. I’ll probably catch up on some emails and do a little researching on the internet when I get to my room. Why?”

  Bette pressed the intercom button to speak with Domino. “Take Morgan back to our suite. Keep an eye on her and have a hearty breakfast waiting for her in the morning. I will be staying here tonight with Clara,” she told him.

  Nice of her to ask me.

  She turned back to me, gesturing toward the door. “We need to talk.”

  I’d misjudged her again. Why did I think everyone was trying to have sex with me? Maybe because that’s what my life had evolved to—strange happenings and insane sexual exploits.

  We got out of the limo and walked to the lobby entrance, our heels clip-clopping on the tiled entrance out of sync.

  “I have so many questions. Can I go out in the sunlight? What about my daughter? How am I going to hide it from my neighbors? Can I still go to work? If I can’t work anymore, how am I going to pay my bills? It’s not like my soon-to-be-ex helps out with anything.”

  Bette placed a hand on my shoulder, stopping me under the lit hotel marquis.

  “Wait until we are inside, please. You never know who is listening.” She cast a quick glance around before ushering me into the hotel.

  I shuddered, chilled by Bette’s implication. Did she think someone specific was spying on us, or was she just always that cautious? I hadn’t considered that I’d be in danger. At least not from anyone but Cli
ve. The truth of the matter was, while I knew that four other vampires existed, I had no clue if there were more out there. Once again, my lack of knowledge wasn’t exactly comforting. I shivered as the air conditioning blast out of the hotel.

  “Okay, but hurry up. I have so much to ask you, I feel like I’m dying here.” I realized what I’d said, and laughed to myself.

  Bette looked confused while she held the ornate glass and bronze door for me.

  “Dying here... get it?”

  She shook her head and I gave up. Something ceases to be funny if you have to explain it.

  We passed through the quiet lobby unnoticed and arrived at my hotel room door within minutes. I opened the door and held it for Bette, who breezed into the room, kicked off her heels and made herself comfortable on my bed. I followed her in and started babbling questions before the door clicked shut.

  Bette cut me off. “We will be talking all night at this rate and that is not what I have in mind. Perhaps it would be better if I just told you what I know and then if you have any questions at the end, you may ask. Okay?”

  I took off my jacket and tossed it over the arm of the nearest chair. Kicking my heels off, I stretched my feet for a second before responding. “Okay, I guess.”

  Bette crossed to the bed and sat. She removed her heels, placing them neatly beside the bed table. “First I will tell you about us, the Vampires in general. As you already know, we do drink blood from the living—never from something dead—only zombies do that.”

  “Zombies! Those things are real?” I pulled a white V-neck tee and a pair of black yoga pants from my bag.

  “Yes, Zombies do exist, though they are exceedingly rare. You may not see one for hundreds of years. But back to the topic at hand… decomposition does something to the blood and vampires that drink from the dead can go mad quite quickly. Never forget that.” Bette eyed me standing there with my change of clothes. She was hoping I’d change right where I stood, in plain view.

  She was wrong. I headed to the bathroom and pushed the door mostly closed. “Okay, no drinking from the dead. Got it.”