Kill Me

by Alex Owens

  I entered the little coffee shop attached to the hotel and ordered a mocha latte from a mousey barista sporting a severe bun. I took my steaming hot cup and seated myself at a dark corner table, not ready to test out my sunlight vulnerability yet. Of course after I’d taken my first sip, I realized that Vampires probably don’t drink coffee, and for good reason. The caramel colored liquid was super-sweet on my tongue, so much so that I gagged just a little.

  It made sense, though. Vampire senses were supposedly heightened and that must include taste buds too. Still, I couldn’t just sit around a coffee shop and drink nothing. That would look odd. Better to master food and drink now, where nobody was around to eyeball me, than to wait until I got home where it would be more noticeable to people who see me every day.

  “Well there you are!” A lilting voice said behind me.

  Cassidy plopped down in the chair beside mine and dropped her hemp tote bag on the table.

  “I’ve been looking all over for you. Did you forget that we were supposed to have breakfast this morning?” She said.

  Shit. I had forgotten. It felt like ages since I’d last talked to her, even though it had only been a handful of hours. “Of course not,” I said, “I was waiting for you here, like we decided.”

  Confusion swept over Cassidy’s face, but it cleared just as quickly. “Geesh, I can be such a blonde sometimes!” She flipped her ringlets of red hair with a wave of her hand and laughed.

  “Do you want to eat here, or go someplace else?” she asked.

  Someplace else meant going outside, which was something I needed to test out alone. “Here is fine, if you don’t mind. I’ve already got my latte.” I raise the cup to my lips and took the tiniest of sips, trying to mask my revulsion at the taste.

  “Sure, no problem. Let me just get something for myself and I’ll tell you what I’ve learned. You want anything?”

  I shook my head and Cassidy went to order whatever she was into. I’d forgotten that she’d promised to do some research. Well, good. Maybe she’d been able to find out something helpful. Bonus points if her answers didn’t beg more questions. I had too many of those already.

  While waiting for Cassidy to return, I thought back to my heightened taste buds. I wondered if my other senses were working better than normal. I hadn’t noticed any changes like that, but then again, I hadn’t exactly been paying attention. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, letting nearby scents co-mingle in my nose. Typical coffee-shop aromas were dominant, but underneath those were more delicate scents. I picked up grapefruit, strawberries, and blood. Lots and lots of blood.

  “Long night?” Cassidy sat down with her bowl-full of fruit and a glass of juice.

  I sighed. Well, that was a mostly failed experiment. Cassidy had probably been standing there with her breakfast under my nose. But the blood I could smell ten-fold. It was everywhere. Sitting beside me, walking behind me, teasing me from the table by the window.

  “Hello, Claire.” Cassidy waived a napkin in front of my face.

  “Sorry, I guess the night’s finally catching up to me.” I needed to make this breakfast fast. My hunger was increasing by the minute and I was beginning to feel exhausted to.

  “M’kay.” Cassidy popped a strawberry into her mouth and then continued. “Let me tell you what I’ve learned.”

  I tried to concentrate, I really did. But for every word she spoke, I heard the beat of ten different hearts.

  “So you’re probably empathetic. That’s how you can feel what other people are feeling.” Claire said. “Think of an Empath like a sponge...they can soak up excess emotions. The stronger the emotions someone projects the easier it should be for you to pick up on. Like anger, lust, love, jealousy, etc.”

  Okay, that made sense. It was what had happened with Domino. “Is there any way to control it? Or block it?” I asked.

  “Yes, I can help with that. I’ll teach you techniques that you can practice and help you hone and control your gifts when you use them. And there are certain stones and amulets that can help in the meantime.”

  “Great. I’d do anything to keep from sliding into Vera’s head again.” I shook away the heebie-jeebies and laughed.

  Cassidy laughed too, “Totally understandable.” She washed down the last bit of her fruit with some juice. “Hey, why aren’t you wearing the necklace I gave you last night?”

  I touched my throat instinctively. Why wasn’t I wearing it? Oh, right—because something about it was bad for vampires. I shrugged, “I felt funny wearing it, like it didn’t agree with me.”

  She eyed me curiously, which made me nervous. It was like she was on to my secret. I decided to change the subject.

  “Can an Empath take the energy absorbed from another and use it somehow?” I asked.

  “I guess...I mean if someone is sad, then you would be sad if you let them get to you.” she said. “Is that what you mean?”

  “Not exactly,” I paused, choosing my words carefully. I didn’t want to give too much information away. “What if someone was angry, could I take that anger, and multiply it somehow, then use it?”

  “Use it? I’m not following you.” Cassidy studied me again. “Did something happen to make you ask that?”

  I backtracked and tried not to breathe too deeply. I was so thirsty. “No, nothing happened. It just seems like I can feel an emotion much stronger than the person it came from did. Just wondering if it could be useful, that’s all.”

  “Oh, well then, in theory, I guess you could be amplifying emotions somehow. Or maybe your gift is just so strong that emotions are condensed into a stronger beam.” Cassidy finished her juice and pushed the empty plate away from her. “Like how bouncing sunlight off of a mirror can start a fire.”

  That was logical enough. I nodded to myself. “Ok, but can an Empath look into a person and see a memory?”

  “Not that I’m aware of, why?” she asked.

  I blushed slightly. “Well, say I was talking to someone and I clearly pictured them working in a garden, digging the soil, and then picking a cherry tomato and eating it?”

  Cassidy smiled, poking me in the arm. “Were you in my head?”

  “Not on purpose, I swear. And that was the first time I’ve ever seen something that clear. And that’s not all...” I let my voice trail off, teasing her.

  “Maybe that makes you psychic too?” She asked, “Wait, what do you mean that’s not all?”

  “When I saw you eat the tomato, I could taste it. I hate tomatoes… it was so gross I had to take a shot to get rid of the taste in my mouth.” I made a disgusted face.

  “I’ve never heard of that, but I’ll do some more digging. Anything else I need to research?” She laughed, mocking me and my strange abilities. Clearly, she was enjoying my freakish nature much more than I was.

  “Well, while we’re on the subject...Sometimes I touch things and little bolts of light shoot out from my fingertips. I just thought it was static, but I’ve noticed, now that I’m looking closer, that sometimes the light is blue, sometimes it’s white, and it’s even been red a time or two.”

  “Telekinesis maybe? Can you move things with your mind? Have you tried?” she asked.

  I shook my head no, choosing to forget about the whole Domino incident. I was feeling far too drained to try and explain that one.

  “Maybe it’s like little power discharges. You know, since you haven’t been using your gifts, maybe things build up until some of it has to be released. Like steam from a pressure cooker.” Cassidy held up her juice glass for several seconds, waiting patiently on the last drop to slide off into her mouth. The girl really liked her juice.

  “That would make sense,” I agreed and took a fake sip of my latte. I sure was going to miss enjoying them—that and a lot of other things. Brownies. Fettuccini Alfredo. Pizza. Anything with chocolate or peanut butter. Sigh.

  “Well,” Cassidy clucked her tongue, “You’re just a little pot-luck of psychic abilities, aren’t you Claire?” />
  If she only knew about the rest of my twisted talents. “Thank you Cassidy, for giving me way too much to think about.”

  She laughed and placed her hand over mine. I could feel her pulse bounding where our skin touched. I gulped and fought the urge to make Cassidy my brunch. It might hamper our blossoming friendship.

  “Don’t worry; we’ll get you figured out.” She withdrew her hand and I felt my blood lust quiet. “I’m headed out tonight, back to L.A.” Cassidy stood and picked up her bag. She pulled out a folded stack of papers. “I’ve got to get over to the convention for the wrap up, but I brought you some bedtime reading.”

  I took the papers, unfolded them and scanned through the stack. She’d printed me over a dozen articles on everything from “Blocking Exercises for Empaths” to “Understanding Your Gifts.”

  “Thank you, for these,” I fluttered the articles, “And everything else too. You’ve been more than helpful.”

  “Hush, girl.” Cassidy hugged me tightly. I stiffened, not from the personal contact, but because my teeth began to tingle as soon as she touched me. She smelled so damn good. It was all I could do not to bite her.

  She ignored the fact that I didn’t return the hug. “We’ll see each other soon. Until then, there’s always email. And texting. Don’t you just love technology?” She laughed, and let go of me.

  “Sure, I sleep with my smart phone,” I said.

  “Well, that’s a topic for next time,” she said, smiling and shaking her head.

  I realized too late how that had sounded. I’d rather let her think that than the truth— that I’d recently begun sleeping with anything that so much as twitched at me. Heartbeat not required.

  “Next time, then.” I backed away from the table, feeling unsteady on my feet. I needed to get back to my room where a bottle of blood waited for me. “Bye Cassidy.”

  She waved as she walked away and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn’t snacked on my new friend. So that was something to be proud of.

  I wasn’t home free yet. I still had to get away from the pulsing bodies all around and up to my room, before I did something regrettable, like sinking my tingling teeth into that hunky little busboy cleaning the tables. He looked so healthy and fit and I just knew that he tasted divine. Better than he smelled, even.

  My mouth twitched and two sharp pains stabbed my mouth. I pursed my lips, feeling the twin canines descend and poke into my bottom lip. Before I could even process my changed mouth, I swept out of the cafe and headed for the stairs. I couldn’t wait for the elevator or risk riding with anyone. I hurried up the stairs with one hand covering my face. I kept my eyes down and focused on one step at a time. My stomach felt leaden and it began to burn, like a hot poker to the gut.

  Finally, mercifully, I arrived at my hotel room door. I fumbled the key card, dropping it to the floor. A maid pushed a cart towards me and I considered forgetting the key and the cold blood behind the door. Surely warm blood tasted better, even if the owner smelled like bleach and lemon furniture polish. Her heartbeat was the only sound I could hear. It beat a drum in my ears, lulling me into a semi-trance.

  I whacked my head on the door handle as I bent to retrieve the fallen card. “F-thuck!” I gasped, touching my forehead. The lisp would have been comical if I weren’t so damn close to ripping the poor woman’s throat out.

  “You okay Miss?” the maid asked, drawing so near I detected a faint heart murmur beneath her starched cotton uniform. I wondered if she knew about it.

  “I’m F-thine,” I said, snatching up the card and thrusting it in the slot. Come on, green light. Come on!

  The lock clicked and I pushed open the door. The cool air from my room blasted outward, which calmed me for the four seconds it took me to close and lock the door, cross the room, snatch the bottle from the melted ice, tear off the cap and pour the contents down my throat. Ah, sweet relief.

  I dropped the empty bottle on the floor and fell onto the bed. My teeth retracted, uncomfortable for a split-second, like I’d had huge pieces of food wedged between my teeth. I could think again, but that was about it. I was still hungry and without the energy to sit up.

  I had no choice but to lay there, a prisoner of my body. When my mind cleared a little, my negative thoughts returned. Who had I been kidding? I wasn’t any different from the other vampires. I had no control over myself at all. I was a dangerous predator that couldn’t be trusted, not for one tiny moment.

  Especially around my daughter. I had to protect Quinn at all costs, even if it meant removing myself from her life.

  How stupid I’d been, dressing like a twenty-year old and ignoring Bette’s warnings. Acting like my life was peachy-keen, when really it was anything but. My life was over and it had only taken me days to realize it. Dehydrated and spent, tears wouldn’t come. So I cried the silent tears of a woman on the edge and waited for something to take away my pain.

  Chapter 18

  A loud rapping on my door woke me with a start. The weight of my body felt off, like I’d gained two-hundred pounds during my nap.

  “Claire!” Said a muffled, masculine voice from the hall. “Claire, are you in there?”

  I tried to sit up, but my limbs were made of stone. I didn’t recognize the voice, but I really didn’t care who it was. I needed help in whatever form the universe chose to offer it.

  “Yes, I’m here,” I croaked, hoping whoever was there could hear me. “Hello? Who’s there?”

  The door handle rattled. “Claire, its Gregor. Let me inside.”

  “I can’t.” I shivered violently, without control. “I...I just can’t.”

  The door handle rattled, followed by a loud thud. The crazy man was trying to force his way into my room. Any other time and I might have been titillated. Wasn’t that ever woman’s secret fantasy? To be rescued by her own personal knight?

  Muttered cursing came from behind the door. Not much chivalry there, for sure. I tried to sit up, to roll over or do anything to get me closer to the door, but all I managed to do was inch my feet so they were dangling oddly. My legs drooped over the bed, like they were anchored to the floor.

  “Get another key. Tell them you’re my husband if you have to,” I panted. Even my lungs weren’t working right. For the first time, I wondered if I were dying. Maybe my body was rejecting the change or duking it out with my other abilities—and loosing?

  Panic crept over me, like a snake crossing my paralyzed body, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  “I’ll be back,” Gregor said, his voice strained. I heard a hand brush the door and then he was gone.

  For the next two minutes and forty-nine seconds I waited for some sign of his return. I wondered if he would actually be able to help me, or worse, would he even want to help me. Honestly, just because we’d had hot strip-club sex didn’t mean that he actually cared about me. I wasn’t that naive. Not anymore.

  He did seem concerned, so that was better than nothing. Like an idiot, that led me to thinking about how I would look once he finally gained access to my room. He’d see a pathetic lump of a woman, looking all fat and hopeless, since it’s common knowledge to all women that what looks like sexy-curves in one position morphs into fat-rolls in another. And I was in that “another” position.

  How retarded was I? Stuck alone in a hotel room, practically paralyzed, dying for blood (and possibly dying period) and all I could think about was looking good for Gregor. And what did that mean for my feelings with Bette?

  I heard a shuffling outside of the door, followed by Gregor saying, “Just open the damn door!”

  The latch clicked and the door swung open. Gregor said to the person in the hall, “You may go now,” before slamming the door and rushing over to me. His face was full of concern.

  “You look horrible,” he said, reaching for me.

  Just stake me now, I thought. If I could have moved my arms, I surely would have snapped the leg off the nearest nightstand and rammed it through my own chest. Absolut
ely. Without hesitation.

  “Are you injured?” Gregor sat me up and knelt down in front of me. “Did someone hurt you?”

  “No, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” My voice was almost a whisper. It hurt to talk. Hell, it hurt to think.

  A flicker of relief crossed his face. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I woke up fine. I dressed and went down to the coffee shop to meet a friend. Then I started to feel very tired. Then hungry. I barely made it back up here to the bottle Bette left me... and then I collapsed.” I nodded to the discarded bottle on the floor and I gnawed on my lip.

  “So you need to feed. I can take care of that.” His eyes sparkled, and I felt my heart thump once, hard.

  “I’ve never heard of hunger doing this. Usually it makes you energetic, fueled by the desire to feed. Frenzied.”

  He picked me up and laid me against the mounded pillows, with neither great care nor lack of concern. Joining me on the bed, he kicked back and crossed his hands behind his head. “Have you mastered releasing your teeth yet?”

  “I don’t think so.” I shook my head as much as I could. The nearness of Gregor perked me up ever so slightly. Maybe I was borrowing strength from him?

  “Try. Think of your hunger, of how badly you want to drink, and then focus that energy to your teeth,” he advised.

  I shut my eyes and remembered how all the people had smelled in the café, their blood all around me like a giant whirlpool of packed red cells. The maid had been within feet of me and she had smelled just lovely despite the chemical overtones. I’d wanted to drink them all dry then tear open the corpses and lick the blood remnants away. Points to me for not actually doing that, though.

  I felt my blood-lust swell, so I focused on my teeth. I ran my tongue over my canines, letting the sharp tips scrape the flesh, drawing a little blood. My upper jaw began to shift, not in any noticeable way, but enough to tell me something was happening there. I bit down on my lip, drawing a bubble of my own blood. I suckled at it. It tasted so good, it was almost orgasmic.