Desperate Chances

by A. Meredith Walters

  “I’m sorry too, Gracie. You’re not the only one with regrets. I made mistakes. Lots of them. The biggest was pushing you away when I should have held on tight. No matter what you said to me, that didn’t give me the right to be an asshole. Because deep down I knew.”

  “What did you know?” I asked, smiling. Grinning wide and high.

  Another kiss. And another. Three times.

  “That you love me.” His smile was dazzling. It took my breath away.

  “Am I that transparent?” I giggled.

  Mitch nuzzled my throat, his day old growth on his chin rubbing against eager skin. “I see all of you, G. Even the parts you try to hide.” He looked up into my eyes and I saw his heart.

  And it was mine.

  “But you can’t hide from me. Because I love you. God, I love you. You are everything. You are all that I want.”

  I kissed the tip of Mitch’s nose and finally, after all this time, gave him the words he wanted so badly. The ones that had always been there. The ones that I should have said a year ago when he had first given me his.

  “I love you too, Mitch Abrams. I love you so much.”

  Mitch let out a strangled sob, his eyes suddenly wet, and he kissed me with a ferocity that I had never experienced from him before.

  In a matter of moments he had discarded his jeans and his boxers. Then slowly, lovingly, he peeled my underwear from my body. When I was lying naked before him, he gazed at me as though memorizing every single inch.

  Mitch lifted me up and I felt his cock press up against me. “Hang on, baby,” he said as I clung to him. Then he carried me through the apartment and into my bedroom where he laid me carefully onto the bed.

  “I don’t think I can wait another minute, Mitch. Please,” I moaned as he settled between my legs.

  “I can’t wait either. I’ve been dreaming of this for so damn long,” he let out in an agonized rush. Sheathing himself in a condom he stopped and stared down at me, a question in his eyes.

  “What?” I asked him.

  “Promise me you won’t walk away this time. Promise me that when we do this, it’s forever. I can’t survive losing you again, Gracie.”

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and reached between our bodies to grasp him in my hand. With my eyes on his, I guided him to my entrance and lifted my hips so that he slid inside.

  “I promise, Mitch. This is the only place I ever want to be.”

  With a heartbreaking smile, Mitch pushed inside me and I stretched and strained to accommodate him. It felt perfect.

  Like coming home.

  “I love you, Mitch,” I moaned as he thrust into me over and over and over again.

  “I love you, Gracie! So fucking much.”

  This was his unconditional forever. It was a promise I could trust.

  We were Mitch and Gracie.

  Gracie and Mitch.

  And this is exactly how we should be.

  Together.

  Always.

  I felt Mitch against my back before I opened my eyes. I smiled into my pillow and held myself perfectly still. I didn’t want to move and ruin this perfect, perfect moment.

  I could smell him.

  I could feel him.

  He was everywhere.

  My mind flipped backwards to last night and I knew that we had a lot to talk about. But right then I only wanted to lie in bed with him wrapped around me.

  Too soon, I felt him begin to stir. The first indication was the very hard appendage digging into my backside.

  Ever so slightly I parted my legs and lifted my hips, letting him slide against me. I was already wet and hot and ready.

  “Gracie,” he whispered into my hair, his arms holding me tight.

  Then lazily, still half asleep, he slipped inside of me again where he had been all night long.

  Our hips moved languidly together. His breath hot on the back of my neck as he slid in and out of my body. His hand cupped my breast and his teeth bit down on my shoulder as I cried out softly.

  “Gracie,” he murmured again and I smiled. I never wanted to lose this sensation. This incredible fullness in my heart.

  Our movements became jerky as Mitch thrust deeper. And right before he came, he pulled out and sat up, grabbing a wad of tissues from the bedside table so he could finish the job.

  I rolled over and watched him clean himself up. He stood up, completely naked, and dropped the tissues in the wastebasket.

  “Is Vivian here? I don’t want to pull a Cole and walk around in my birthday suit if we’re not alone,” Mitch smirked. I bit down on my lip and shook my head, appreciating the view.

  He came back over to the side of the bed and leaned down, kissing me long and hard on the mouth. “I’ll be right back,” he said softly.

  After Mitch was gone I sat up in bed, pulling the blankets up over my chest. I was deliciously sore between my legs. Muscles I hadn’t known that I possessed were achy and tired.

  Mitch and I had only slept for a few hours, neither of us wanting to interrupt our time together with sleep. We had stayed up into the early hours, laughing, talking, and making love until we couldn’t keep our eyes open.

  But now it was morning. And all the unanswered questions that neither of us had wanted to answer last night were staring us in the face.

  “Here you go. Milk and sugar, just how you like it,” Mitch said, reappearing with a cup of coffee and a plate full of cookies.

  I raised my eyebrows at the sight of the sweets. He shrugged. “You need to go grocery shopping, babe. There’s nothing in your cabinets but Saltine crackers and these. So cookies for breakfast, it is.”

  He got back into bed and handed me a cookie. I ate it happily, not caring about the calories or whether I should be eating junk food for breakfast. The only Gracie would have starved herself for days to make up for this one slip up. Not the new Gracie. She licked her fingers and enjoyed every delicious bite. I took a sip of coffee that was a little too strong with not enough milk. Oh well, Mitch couldn’t be perfect in everything he did.

  Though his coffee making skills were going to have to be addressed.

  I snuggled up against his side when I was finished. He put an arm around me, holding me tightly.

  “You’re still here,” he said shyly.

  I propped my chin on my chest as I looked up at him. “Were you expecting me to run?”

  Mitch’s eyes were troubled, the fear still there. The worry that this was only temporary. That I would leave again and we’d be thrust back into that horrible place we had lived in for the last year.

  “I hoped you wouldn’t,” he said after a while.

  I ran my hand through his hair, wishing I could turn back time and take back all the things I had done to hurt him. My callousness. My selfishness.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Mitch. As long as you want me, I’m here. But I have so many issues, so much baggage. I’ll understand if you can’t deal with it. Most days I can’t deal with it—”

  Mitch cut me off with a kiss. Rough and real.

  “Just stop. Don’t say it. I won’t let you put a question mark on this. On us. You may be a mess, but you’re my mess.” I rolled my eyes and snorted.

  “Did you really just say that?”

  Mitch chuckled. “Damn straight! And I mean it. I love you. I love everything about you. I love your mess and your chaos. I love your ups and I love your downs. And you should know that I wouldn’t jump ship when things get tough. I’ll be here until the bitter end. If you let me, that is.”

  There it was again. The fear. Would it always be there? Would he ever be able to trust me not to leave?

  But I had done this. So I would have to work to make it better.

  And I knew I was up for the challenge.

  Because Mitch was worth it.

  “I can’t undo what’s already been done. I wish that I could, but I can’t. But I can promise to do everything I can to regain your trust. In me. In us. In what I feel for you.” I kissed hi
s chin and laid my cheek on his chest. “I won’t screw this up again.”

  “I’ll hold you to it,” Mitch said lightly, and I could feel his laughter vibrate through me.

  We were quiet for a while; my coffee growing cold, but I didn’t care.

  “What happened with Sophie?” I asked softly. Maybe I should let it go. Did it really matter? They weren’t together anymore and he was here with me.

  But I wanted to know. I couldn’t help it.

  “You made me think the other night. After I brought you home from the botanical gardens. At first I was pissed because how dare you give me shit for being wishy washy.” He gave me a squeeze and I grimaced.

  “I guess I was the queen of wishy washy,” I admitted.

  “You were. But I’ve been pretty bad about it too. So after I left here, I went to Jordan’s. He’s a mouthy bastard, but he’s pretty good at calling me on my bullshit. We talked. He told me about Maysie being pregnant. And he helped me sort through the mess in my head. Sometimes, even when you know the answer, it helps having someone else point it out for you,” he said, his fingers tracing circles on my back.

  “I’m glad the mouthy bastard was able to help you see straight,” I chuckled.

  “I’ll make sure to tell him you said that,” Mitch snickered. “Anyway, after getting sage advice from Mr. Levitt, I went to Sophie’s. She got pissed. Called me a selfish ass, then she threw me out of her house.”

  “Crap,” I muttered.

  Mitch sighed. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less. What I did to her was wrong. I led her on. I was a total dick and I deserved everything she threw at me.”

  “She’ll be okay, right?” I asked. Even though I wasn’t a fan of Sophie, as one woman to another, I felt bad for her. I didn’t want my happiness to come at the price of someone else’s pain.

  Mitch kissed the top of my head. “I hurt her. We were together a long time. But I’m pretty sure that once the dust settles she’ll see it was the best thing for her. We weren’t in love. We never had been. We went into our relationship for the wrong reasons. Sophie wanted an ideal that didn’t exist, and I wanted to try to forget about you. Neither was possible.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. It was inadequate but it was all I could say.

  Mitch rolled me over so that I was underneath him. He framed my face in his hands and looked down at me, his brow furrowed. “Don’t be sorry, Gracie. What happened with Sophie is on me. Only me. She’s a sweet girl. She helped me through a difficult time, but she wasn’t what my heart wanted.”

  I turned my head to the side to avoid his eyes. Sometimes his gaze was too much. Too intense. “I don’t like starting something on top of a pile of wreckage.”

  “Look at me, G,” Mitch commanded softly.

  When I didn’t comply right away, he gently gripped my chin between his fingers and turned my head so that I was forced to look at him.

  “We’ve never had things easy, you and me. But the best things in life aren’t easy. And I’ve spent too long not fighting for this. For us. I won’t make that mistake again. We have to learn from what happened and move on. Together. Because that’s the only way either of us will be happy. And you know it. I can’t pretend anymore, and neither can you.”

  “I know,” I sighed.

  “I hate that Sophie was caught in the middle of it all. But that’s on me. I should never have tried to force my heart to love anyone but you. It’s impossible. I knew it, but I was a stubborn ass.”

  “You said it, not me,” I remarked tartly.

  Mitch reached down and lightly pinched my thigh and I yelped. Then he rubbed the skin with his hand. “I love you, Gracie Evelyn Cook. I told you once that you were everything, and you are. You. Are. My. Everything.”

  “But what about all of my issues? What if I mess up again?” I was feeling a little panicky.

  Mitch was putting so much faith in me. I couldn’t help but be terrified that I would never be able to live up to the expectations. I had crashed and burned once, what’s to say I wouldn’t do it again?

  “Then we’ll deal with it, Gracie. I don’t expect you to be anything but yourself. You’re a little loud, sometimes flaky, mildly crazy—”

  “Is there a compliment in there somewhere?” I muttered.

  Mitch smiled. “And you’re the smartest person I have ever met. You’re motivated, and hard working, and determined. You are loyal, and kind, and you have the biggest heart.”

  “That’s better,” I laughed, my heart fluttering.

  “And I love you. I love you. I love you. I will say those words every day for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me. So please let me love you the way I want to. The way we both deserve.”

  Cue the water works.

  It seemed that I had been doing a lot of crying lately. But they were the best kind of tears. The ones that didn’t hurt.

  “Only if you let me share your Chunky Monkey,” I smirked.

  Mitch kissed me again. I would never get tired of the feel of his mouth on mine. “You can have the whole damn container. I’ll buy you all the Chunky Monkey that I can find, and I won’t even try to share it. It’s yours, baby. All of it. All of me. Everything.”

  “I love you, Mitch. More than anything.”

  “I’ve been waiting for years to hear you say that,” he said, his eyes twinkling.

  “I love you,” I repeated.

  “Say it again,” he demanded.

  “I love you.”

  “Again.”

  “I love you.”

  We were both crying, and when he reached for me I fell.

  All over again.

  “So this is Generation Rejects’ last gig,” Gracie said, sounding sad.

  I hauled my bass up onto the makeshift stage at Barton’s. Jordan and Cole were setting up the amps and Garrett was tuning his guitar.

  The crowd was huge. The largest we had played in front of in a long time.

  It was fitting. Because this show was the last one.

  It only made sense to go out with a bang in the place where it all began.

  “Yeah, it is. And it’s going to be the best damn show we’ve ever had,” I said with confidence, leaning down and kissing her soundly on the mouth.

  There was the loud round of cheering.

  “Well it’s about fucking time!” Cole yelled from across the stage.

  “Gracie! Oh my god! You and Mitch, really?” Vivian shrieked, running to my girl’s side.

  My girl.

  Mine.

  It would take some time to believe that after everything we had been through, Gracie and I were finally together.

  Together.

  It was my new favorite word.

  Gracie rolled her eyes, and I smirked. “I’ll let you share the news,” I told her and she stuck her tongue out.

  I leaned down and kissed her again. Then again just because I could.

  “You need to talk to me right now!” Vivian declared, tugging on Gracie’s arm. We broke apart, grinning at each other like the crazy fools that we were.

  “Sheesh, Viv, give the girl a break. Can’t you see she’s having her tonsils cleaned?” Riley interjected. She had flown in just that morning, not wanting to miss our last concert. She was going on very little sleep and was obviously feeling punchy.

  “Well, you need to spill! I can’t believe you didn’t call to tell me!” Vivian pouted.

  Maysie looped her arm through Riley and Gracie’s. “Come on, let’s go have some girl talk.”

  Gracie looked back at me, blowing me a kiss. I made a show of catching it because I was a dork like that. She laughed and shook her head. I didn’t care that I looked like the world’s biggest tool.

  Because Gracie Cook loved me.

  “So you and Gracie, huh?” Garrett asked, glancing up from his guitar.

  “Yep.” I sat down on the edge of the stage and tuned my own instrument.

  “Cool,” was all he said. He was a man of few words. Four letters wa
s all Garrett required to let me know that he was pleased.

  “You guys ready?” Moore asked. “The line is all the way around the block. The guys at the door are already turning people away. We haven’t had a crowd like this in months! When can I get you guys back?”

  Jordan, Cole, Garrett, and I all exchanged looks.

  Time to drop the bombshell. Better now than later.

  “This is the Rejects’ final show. At least for a while,” Jordan said, grabbing his drumsticks and sitting behind his kit.

  “What?” Moore looked horrified and that was heartening. It was nice to know that we would be missed. “Your last show? Tell me it ain’t so!”

  Cole clasped the older man’s shoulder. “I’m afraid so, my man. But I’ll be happy to jump in and play a solo show anytime.”

  Garrett and I rolled our eyes.

  “I wish that you had told me earlier. I could have charged a lot more at the door,” Moore complained before walking off, clearly annoyed by the loss of potential earnings.

  Garrett got to his feet and slung his guitar strap around his neck. “You guys ready for this?”

  I looked out at the crowd, finding Gracie standing at the front with Maysie, Riley, and Vivian.

  “I don’t know. Are we?” I asked, feeling the weight of what we were about to do.

  Cole punched me in the gut, and I let out a groan, doubling over. “What the fuck, man?” I yelled, standing back up.

  “You get a little G pussy and now you’re a bitch. This doesn’t mean we’ll never play together again. Get a grip. Now let’s put on the best damn show these assholes have ever seen!” Cole said, pumping his fist in the air.

  “He’s got a point. Generation Rejects will never be dead,” Jordan added, tapping out a quick beat.

  “Nope. Never,” Garrett agreed.

  I looked at the guys who were my brothers, and knew they were right.

  “Generation Rejects forever!” I yelled. Cole, Garrett, and Jordan all groaned.

  “Seriously, shut the hell up. You’re such a fucking dork,” Cole muttered, walking to the center of the stage.

  I laughed, not taking his insult personally.

  We took our places for the last time—well the last time for now—and we faced the crowd who had come out to see us play.