Sheet Music - A Rock 'n' Roll Love Story

by Ann Lister

  “I’m not expecting her to.”

  “I think in some ways, you are. Annie is very unique. She still believes in the whole white picket fence scenario. And I’m not saying she can’t have that, but with the career she chose to be in, I’m thinking it will be hard for her to fulfill that fantasy. What complicates it further is, she chose to fall in love with a man with one of the most recognizable names in the business. A volatile combination, wouldn’t you agree?”

  “She wants me to leave.”

  “Do you want to leave?” Taylor asked.

  “No.”

  “Then don’t. Stay here. This place is too big for me anyway, and besides, I have two more empty bedrooms. You can have your pick.” Taylor shrugged and smiled. “Nana had hoped I’d fill the rooms with her great-grandchildren but I guess that wasn’t to be. At any rate, Annie’s bedroom has its own bathroom so it’s doubtful she’ll even know you’re here since she’s supposed to be resting in bed. Right? I think, if you made yourself scarce during the day, your paths would never even cross.”

  “I don’t want to keep stressing her out like this.”

  Taylor bent forward. “You want some advice from a wise woman? You've got to make her want you in her life again. You always want what you don't think you can have, right? Make her want you. Give her some space, make her think you left, and I guarantee before the week is out things will be a lot different.”

  “You really think so?”

  “I’m almost certain of it. So, why don’t you swagger that sweet ass of yours down into that empty bedroom and get some rest. I’ll take care of everything else.”

  “What about Annie?”

  “If she needs something, I’ll get it for her. Remember, you’re not here. Get my drift?”

  Michael nodded. “Thanks. And you better hope this works,” he smiled.

  “And if it doesn’t?” Taylor smiled.

  “I don’t know. I’m too tired to think of anything but sleep right now.”

  “Get to bed.”

  Taylor stuck her head inside Annie’s room around dinner time. Annie was wide awake and staring blankly out the window.

  “Are you hungry?” Taylor asked.

  “A little bit,” Annie answered.

  Taylor went and sat on the bed beside Annie. “Were you able to get some rest?”

  “Yes, although I could use a lot more.”

  “How’s Sammi?”

  “Up every two hours and hungrier then hell,” Annie laughed.

  “That’s our girl,” Taylor sighed.

  “I guess me going into a recording studio will have to wait awhile,” Annie commented.

  “Don’t worry about it. I can reschedule the studio time.”

  “In all seriousness, Taylor, it may have to wait for quite a while. I’ve really got to sort out everything in my life and decide what I want to do. There’s also Sammi’s needs to consider now too.”

  “You’re really talking about Michael, aren’t you?”

  Annie nodded.

  “I understand. But I don’t want you to forget about the studio either. Promise me you won’t,” Taylor smiled. “Your material is so strong, Annie. We’ll use our band to back you up and Lacey and I can help with the vocals if you want. But, I’m telling you, this will be big. Even our producer agrees with my assessment.”

  “You really think so?”

  Taylor laughed. “It’s gritty, balls to the wall stuff, like Alanis Morrisett’s, ‘Jagged Little Pill’ album.

  Annie skewed her face. “She sounded so bitter on that album.”

  “And that’s something every woman can relate to!,” Taylor said. “At one time or another, we’ve all been jaded, and that sells albums.”

  Annie’s eyes drifted toward the cradle as she digested Taylor’s comments. Silence settled between them.

  “Where’s Michael?” she asked finally, as she toyed with the satin edging on her blanket.

  “He’s gone,” Taylor answered, lying through her teeth.

  “He really left?” she asked with sadness.

  “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

  She dropped her head and nodded. “When did he leave?”

  Taylor glanced at her wristwatch. “Several hours ago. Why?”

  Annie shook her head. “I was just wondering. I thought he might say good-bye. Probably best he didn’t.”

  “It’s for the best, Annie. You don’t need the added stress in your life right now.”

  “Yes, I know,” she agreed.

  Taylor stood and walked toward the door, trying to hide her smile. It was written so clearly on Annie’s face. She loved him even with all his faults. It was as plain as the freckles on her nose.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes with some food for you,” Taylor said, as she drifted from the room.

  Michael slept straight through to the following morning. When he padded his way out to the kitchen he heard Taylor and Annie talking in her bedroom. A few minutes later, Taylor appeared.

  “How is Annie and Sammi doing?” he asked.

  Taylor pressed her index finger over her lips. “Shhh! Remember, she thinks you left. But, to answer your question, they’re doing great.”

  He smiled and stuffed a handful of green grapes into his mouth. “Good. I’m glad.”

  “How about you? Are you doing better?” Taylor asked him.

  “Yeah. I’ll survive. Somehow I always manage to. But, if I’m going to stay here I’m going to need a tooth brush and some clothes and a razor,” he smiled, rubbing at his whiskered chin. “I’m beginning to feel and look like Grizzly Adams.”

  Taylor smiled across the breakfast bar at him. “I don’t know, that rugged look suits you. It’s kind of sexy.”

  Michael rolled his eyes. “I swear, I’ll never understand women.”

  He grabbed his coat and headed toward the door. “I’ll be back in couple of hours. If you need me, call my cell phone.”

  Annie never mentioned his name that first day or for most of the second day. But the longing was etched into her face. Taylor sat with her for hours each day, keeping her entertained and helping with the newborn demands of Sammi.

  During the day, Michael made himself scarce, visiting with friends away from the apartment. But at night, he often lounged just a few feet away in his private bedroom. From there, he could hear their laughter and the hungry cries of his daughter and it pained him. He wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to see Annie and the baby. The waiting was beginning to make him edgy and leave Taylor wondering if she had misjudged the intensity of Annie’s weakness for him.

  The moon was full that night and Michael couldn’t sleep. He paced the hallway, wanting to go to her, wanting to hear her voice, aching to see his child. Anything. He needed to be near them.

  Silently he turned the knob of her door and opened it. He saw Annie lying on her side, facing the window, with Sammi cradled in her arms. Moonbeams illuminated their faces. He stood at the foot of her bed and watched them sleep. Annie was so beautiful and untouchable, he thought. His body begged to slip beneath the sheets to be beside her. He could reach out and touch her, and yet, it felt like there were a million miles between them. He took a fresh cut daffodil from the flower vase on her night table and placed it onto the pillow beside her head, stroked the skin on his baby’s cheek, then quietly left the room.

  As the door closed behind him, Annie stirred beneath the sheets. She inhaled deeply, smelling something different in the room she hadn’t smelt in days. It was cologne – his cologne. She must be dreaming, she thought, sighed his name aloud and drifted back to sleep. When daylight filled the room, she saw the flower on the pillow beside her and pressed it to her nose.

  “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Taylor commented, as she breezed into Annie’s room carrying breakfast on a tray. “A sure sign of spring.”

  Annie smiled. “Did you leave this on my pillow?”

  “No. I’m assuming it came from the vase beside your bed. Why
do you ask?”

  Annie took the tray from Taylor and settled up against the headboard. “Okay. I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but last night I woke up suddenly and I smelt him in the room.”

  “Smelt who? What are you talking about?” Taylor asked.

  “I smelt Michael’s cologne. I’d know his cologne anywhere and this was so vivid, like he was actually here. And when I woke up, this flower was on my pillow. Spooky, isn’t it?”

  Taylor swallowed hard. “You must have been dreaming.”

  “Yeah. I imagine I was, but it was so real.”

  “There was a small article about him in the entertainment section of the news paper this morning,” Taylor quickly stated, trying to change the subject. “Something about the progress of their new album.”

  “Really? Can I see it?”

  “Yeah. I’ll bring it in later for you. Annie pressed the flower to her nose again and smiled. Then tears began to form in her eyes.

  “You miss him, don’t you?” Taylor asked, touching the quilt over her friend’s leg.

  “Yeah, I guess I must if I’m imagining his cologne in my room.”

  “Call him.”

  “No, I can’t. Besides, it’s probably too late.”

  “Too late for what?” Taylor asked.

  Annie shook her head. “I said some really horrible things to him, Taylor, which I’m sure only made the situation worse. But I wanted him to hurt. Isn’t that awful? I wanted him to feel the pain I’ve been suffering through. Does that make sense?”

  “It makes perfect sense.”

  Annie was sobbing now. “All I wanted was for him to love me and only me. I wanted to be the first and last thing he thought of each day. I wanted to make babies with him and grow old together. I don't give a shit who he is, what he does for a living, or how much money he makes. I just wanted him. But I guess I wanted him too much.”

  Annie wiped at her cheeks and sighed.

  “Call him. Ask him to come back,” Taylor insisted.

  “I’m not even sure where he is. He could be back on the west coast by now, Boston, or any state in between.”

  “Then call his cell phone. He has that with him wherever he is, right?”

  Annie nodded, wringing her hands nervously. “It’s early. He’s probably still sleeping.”

  Taylor stood from the bed and pointed to the telephone. “Call him. I’ll be back later to take the tray.”

  Taylor danced down the hallway and into the living room. Michael was reading the paper, shirtless, barefoot, with hair still damp from the shower. His legs extended onto the coffee table before him.

  “Where’s your cell phone?” she asked with excitement.

  “In the bedroom. Why?” “Go get it!”

  “Why?” he asked, getting off the couch.

  “Because you’re expecting a call! Now, go get it!”

  “From who?”

  “Your wife.”

  Michael retrieved his phone and returned to the living room. He set it beside him on the couch and tried to pretend his heart wasn’t about to burst through his chest. Several minutes passed.

  “She’s not going to call,” he said.

  “Be patient. She’s as nervous as you are right now.”

  “Am I that obvious?” he laughed.

  “Yes.”

  “What am I supposed to say when and if she does call?”

  “Let her do the talking and try to relax.”

  “Where does she think she’s calling me?”

  “She hasn’t a clue, but you risked the entire plan last night with your secret bedside vigil.”

  Michael smiled. “What can I say? I had a moment of weakness.”

  “Brilliant move. Annie said she woke up and smelt your cologne in the room.”

  “I needed to see her and the baby.”

  The ring of the cell phone caused them both to jump and Michael reached for it. It rang a second time before he answered it.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, it’s me,” Annie sighed, relieved to hear his voice.

  “How are you and the baby?” he asked, trying to maintain his calm.

  “I’m better. She’s better too. It’s amazing how clearly you can see things when you’re well rested.”

  Annie paused, wondering where to go, what to say. “Did I wake you?”

  “No, I’ve been up for a while, sitting here reading the newspaper.”

  Taylor giggled and wandered from the room to give him some privacy.

  “Taylor said you were in our newspaper this morning but I haven’t read the article yet. She said it mentioned the progress of your new album.”

  “Progress? Then the article must be a nice, short piece of fiction.”

  “Michael?”

  “Yeah, babe?”

  Hearing his familiar reference to her made her face blush. She fanned the heat with her hand.

  “I was wondering, if you weren’t in the middle of something or recording, if you could come back to see me. But, if you’re busy, I understand.”

  “You want me back in New York?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I thought we could talk some more - rationally this time, and maybe come to a different conclusion.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know. Where are you? How long would it take for you to get here?”

  Michael pushed open her bedroom door with his bare foot and stood there with a brilliant smile. “Is that quick enough?” he laughed.

  Annie dropped her phone. “You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you?”

  “Yes. I told you I wasn’t going to leave. So, instead, I gave you some space.”

  “Taylor said you left.”

  “She lied. I’ve been staying in the bedroom down the hall. Are you mad?”

  Annie shook her head. “No, I’m just happy you’re here.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  At weeks end, Michael had Annie back at the doctor’s office. She was given a clean bill of health and discharged to the care of her own doctors near their home in Boston. The doctor ran down a list of do’s and don’ts and handed Michael a prescription for vitamins.

  “And since you didn’t ask,” the doctor continued. “I’d wait the full six weeks before you engage in intercourse, but your home doctor may advise differently. If you have any other questions or concerns, call me.”

  A few minutes later, they were on an elevator heading toward the lobby.

  “You ever notice when the subject of sex comes up between you and the doctors, all eyes turn toward me?” Michael commented. “I mean, what is it? They see a long haired musician standing before them and assume I’m an animal?”

  Annie glanced up at him and smirked. “Well, aren’t you?”

  He clutched at his heart and pretended to be hurt. “Ouch, I’m wounded,” he laughed.

  “You've been called worse, Michael,” she answered. “Hell, I've called you much worse.”

  They settled into the backseat of the waiting limousine and raised the tinted divider window separating them from the driver. Annie immediately attached Sammi to her breast. Michael reached for her hand and kissed the fingers, then pressed it against his firm thigh. The traffic in mid-town was busy with early Friday-evening commuters leaving the city for the weekend. Michael turned his head and stared out the window watching the pedestrians scurry along their way.

  “I’m not worried about having sex with you, Michael,” she stated, out of the blue.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, turning to face her.

  “I mean, I’m quite certain there won’t be any, so, the doctor advising us to abstain from it is really a moot point.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “You haven’t been tested yet, have you?” she asked.

  “No, I haven’t. For privacy reasons, I thought I’d wait until I could use my own doctor in Boston.”

  Annie smiled and looked away. Several minutes passed and the silence hung heavy
between them.

  “Annie, let me ask you something,” he sighed, “and I want you to be completely honest with me.”

  “Okay, but don’t get mad if you get an answer you don’t want to hear.”

  “If I had the lab reports in my hands right now and all the tests were negative, would you let me make love to you?”

  “No.”

  “You answered that awfully quick.”

  “I guess I did. Maybe it’s because I’m that certain of my answer.”

  “Why?”

  “I told you before, it’s going to take time. Point blank, I’m not ready to be intimate with you. Frankly, I can’t believe I’ve progressed this far in a week.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “A week ago, I had to fight the compulsion to vomit whenever you entered the room. Now, I’m actually sitting beside you and you’re holding my hand,” she answered, as she eyed their clasped hands. “That’s progress.”

  “Vomit?”

  Annie shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “That’s probably exaggerating a bit,” she said, glancing away. “But I couldn’t stand the sight of you.”

  His eyes drifted back to the sidewalk. She could see the tightness in his jaw and wondered what he was thinking.

  “I thought you weren’t going to pressure me?” she asked.

  “I’m not.”

  “Then, why am I sitting here feeling like you are?”

  He turned toward her, studying her face as if the answer were written on it. “I don’t know. I…never mind.”

  “What? Say it. Don’t hold back now.”

  He shook his head in frustration and glanced out the window. “It wasn’t my intention to pressure you. I told you a long time ago I express myself best through my music and through…touch. It’s my nature. How am I supposed to make things right if you won’t let me touch you?”

  Annie shrugged. “I guess you’ll have to find another way, because the touching option isn’t going to happen.”

  His eyes dropped to their entwined fingers. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I know.”

  “Do you?” he asked.

  She squeezed his hand. “Yes, I do. I can feel it, but that doesn’t make it any easier for me to get past what you did.”

  The traffic began to move and Annie noticed Taylor's apartment building pass by the car window. “Let me ask you something, Michael. Where is our driver taking us? We just passed Taylor's apartment.”