Dear Rose 2: Winter's Dare

by Mechele Armstrong

  “I just don’t get this. She’s happy with sex.” And he damn sure was. “She’s been happy with the way things are.”

  “Yeah. She probably enjoys the sex. But she wants more. More than what you give her. She probably doesn’t even know why she’s unhappy, but I know it’s because she’s not made to be a fuck buddy. She never was.”

  Tucker closed his eyes a second. He could still hear her flat voice, so unlike his Ally. “I don’t know, Tucker.” “She doesn’t know why. I asked her this morning. She told me she didn’t.” How could Devyn know that? Damn him. He’d never seemed particularly insightful. Tucker was ready to blow all his speculation off as bullshit. But if Devyn was right about that part, maybe he was right about the whole thing?

  Devyn had just put a bit of salad in his mouth. He held up one finger and finished chewing. “There you have it. She’s unhappy because while sex is fun, she’s never been one to have sex without a commitment. In fact, you’re the only guy she’s ever been with that she hasn’t been out on a date with at least five times.” Ally had always picked her guys carefully and lasted several months to over a year with them, while Devyn and Tucker had had whirlwind relationships. Up until Carl for Devyn. And up until about four years ago for Tucker.

  “We go out. All the time. We spend time together.” If only he didn’t sound so defensive. He took a deep breath, trying to get his emotions reined back in. He needed to consider this, if only to reject it later. “As friends. Not on a date. We’re buds. Not…all this girlfriend/boyfriend shit.” That just bred trouble. “We get along great.”

  Devyn’s fork paused in midair as he gave a “what the fuck” look to Tucker. “Yeah, that’s why she’s miserable. She wants more than being friends and having sex. And if you aren’t going to give her that, you need to cut her loose, bro.”

  Tucker almost sputtered. If he’d had a coldness in his stomach before, it was frigid now. “Cut her loose? I don’t want to lose Ally.” She was his best friend. He loved going to bed beside her each night. He enjoyed waking up to her in the morning, even when she was too damn cheerful.

  “You need to tell her that. You need to give her what she needs. You need to discuss how you feel.”

  “I do tell her.” Tucker pushed around his lettuce, still not eating it. He should have gotten anything but this rabbit food. “She knows how I feel. That we’re buds. That we’re friends. Best friends. There’s nothing more to say.”

  “Then you will lose her.” Devyn rolled his eyes. “That’s not enough. Not for her right now. She’s looking for more of a relationship.” Devyn zeroed in his gaze on Tucker. “And I know you’ve been in love with her since…fourth year of college.”

  Tucker almost dropped his fork. “I… How do you know that?” He’d never told anyone. Not Devyn. Not Ally. He’d barely even thought it in his mind. There was a reason he’d not tried to have a girlfriend in forever. It never worked. How could it? They weren’t the girl he was in love with.

  “I know you.” Devyn set his fork down in his bowl. “I knew when you got those stupid ballet tickets and tried to pass them off that I’d gone to all that trouble.” He gave another roll of his eyes.

  Their senior year a ballet troupe had been performing in DC. Close enough for them to attend. But Ally hadn’t had the money to get tickets, much less travel. Tucker had worked like a dog to get the money. And they’d been sold out. He’d had to go to some great lengths on computers to find tickets that had tripled in cost. After that was straight, there had been a festival going on that had hotel rooms sold out. It had cost money that he hadn’t had at the time, but he’d finally gotten the tickets and the hotel room and had surprised Ally. Her smile had been enough to blind them. And that’s when he’d known he needed to keep making this woman happy. He’d known his feelings for her had grown beyond friendship. He’d denied it. Tried other women. But he always kept coming back to Ally

  “Why haven’t you told her?” Devyn picked his fork up again and continued to eat. “And if you aren’t eating, let me have some Caesar dressing.”

  Tucker handed it over, keeping one cup of it for himself though he wasn’t sure he’d use it. “It hasn’t come up.”

  Devyn snorted, sounding much like an animal that would eat this tripe. “In nine years since you first slept with her, it hasn’t come up?”

  Had it been that long? It felt like just yesterday they’d been kids with degrees. “I’ve been busy.”

  “Yeah, avoiding telling the woman how you feel.” He didn’t snort again, but the tone was still there.

  There was some truth to that. Not to mention, as long as things were going well between them, he hadn’t had to because they’d already been together. Just not together together in a boyfriend/girlfriend capacity.

  “Why haven’t you told her?” Devyn set about eating the rest of his salad. “You’ve been in love with her for years and never bothered to tell her.”

  “I didn’t want to lose what we had. She’s my best friend. I love…sex with her. It’s like an adventure.” Like this morning. She always got him going. His cock perked up, hardening in an instant. That was always the way it was with Ally. He didn’t take much to get horny.

  “TMI. I don’t need to know.” Devyn grimaced. “That’s an image I’ll never forget. You’re about to lose her now, though. If you don’t tell her. Or make a move.”

  How the hell was he supposed to do that? They’d been comfortable the way things were for so long. How was he supposed to disrupt everything? Not to mention… “My parents divorced.” He blurted the words out before he could think about them. “After living together for ten years, they only lasted five once they had that piece of paper.” He’d always vowed he’d never be serious about a woman. Ally was the only one he’d ever been truly intimate with. And she was about to leave him. Devyn was right. She would leave him if he didn’t act.

  “And mine lived together for ten, always with that piece of paper and still got divorced. What’s your point?”

  “I can’t lose her. If we commit, and she walks away, where am I? And don’t give me that ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ That’s horse shit.” And as a philosophy major, he knew horseshit. There was a lot of BS in that degree, and it wasn’t just in the initials.

  Devyn lowered his head like a bull about to charge. “Like I’d ever say that trite bit of crap.” He shook his head. “However, by not acting, she will walk away. If you want to keep her, you can’t stay status quo. It’s either do nothing and lose or take a chance and possibly win.”

  “But you don’t know that. I mean I could try, and we might not make it.” And he’d lose the reason he’d gotten up for the past nine years. Even when he’d been dating other women, trying to get Ally of out his system, she’d been in him.

  “I’m not psychic. But you only have limited time on this earth, dumbass. She could die tomorrow, and then where would you be? Haven’t you heard of seize the day? Carpe diem shit in school? You sure as hell didn’t listen. You never do.”

  “You could be a little nicer.” Tucker sat back in his chair. “You have a potty mouth, bitch.”

  “Damn fucking A.”

  They both looked at each other and started to laugh. It was a few seconds before the guffaws ended.

  Devyn wiped his eyes. “You’re a bastard. I don’t know why Ally likes you. No accounting for taste.”

  “Does she like me?” He grabbed the cup of dressing back from by Devyn and poured the little bit left on his salad before following it with the second cup. He might as well eat it. It was there. “I mean really like me?”

  “We are not degrading into middle school. And yes, for some damn reason, she does.” Devyn reached over and patted Tucker’s hand. “Poor crazy girl. I always knew she wasn’t right.” His grin faded as he grew serious. “You can make her yours, Tucker, if you want her. If you don’t want her, let her go. So she can find what she wants. What she needs.”

  “I do wan
t her. I just…don’t want to mess this up.” It was what had been holding him back. That and he’d thought things were okay up until recently. He’d been content with the way things were. He’d thought Ally was too. He did have a fear of commitment. They’d always joked about how Tucker couldn’t commit to anything, especially a woman. He frowned. That was going to be hard to overcome with Ally. After all, she knew his reputation better than anyone. “You’ve got to help me.”

  Devyn shook his head. “I don’t do relationship help. I have enough trouble with mine.”

  A lie. He and Carl were usually so happy it was sickening. The only thing Tucker had ever seen them argue over was getting married. Carl didn’t want to for some fucked-up reason. Tucker cocked his head to the side. “Oh?”

  “I don’t.” Devyn tried to look innocent, which he could never pull off. It was not a good look for him. Guess neither of his friends was angelic. And that suited Tucker fine as he wasn’t either. Especially because to win Ally’s heart, he’d need all the devilish help he could get if Devyn would assist.

  Tucker knew how to get Devyn onboard with this. He could never resist a taunt. “I dare you to help me. I dare you to get Ally and me together.” There, he’d said what he wanted to and for the first time.

  “I don’t do relationship help. I already told you.” A grin lit Devyn’s face belying his words. “But that evil bitch, Rose Winter, she does help with relationships. And she’s damn good at it too.”

  “So I hear.” Apparently Rose had helped get a dancer and a bartender together at Temples. Tucker paid enough attention to gossip to hear that. Ally hadn’t even talked about it. A sure sign something had been wrong. Tucker had chalked it up to PMS or stress. She hadn’t been happy for months. He frowned. There was only one way to fix this. Devyn was right.

  Another pat of Devyn’s hand on his, probably at his pained expression. “With Rose Winter’s help, you can do anything. Even woo a woman, you bastard.”

  That was a promise that Devyn would help him, and Rose was a force to be reckoned with. With Devyn and Rose’s help, he just might pull this off. With another bite of his salad, he motioned to Josie. “Could I get a cheeseburger to go?” He ignored Devyn’s laughter and set about finishing his salad as they planned the wooing of Ally Summers.

  Chapter Three

  Ally stretched out her aching muscles as she walked to her front door. It had been a long day at the clinic. Too long a day. All she wanted was a steaming hot bath. And pizza delivery. Maybe at the same time. She didn’t care about the order.

  She looked behind her to scan for Tucker’s car. She wasn’t ready to deal with him yet.

  Nope. No Tucker.

  A part of her was pleased, and a part of her was disappointed. After their conversation this morning, it was no wonder he’d run for the hills.

  Probably as fast as those bulky legs would carry him. He wouldn’t come back until the air was clear. Which might be never.

  She blew out a long sigh. Almost tripped on a crack in the sidewalk but righted herself at the last second.

  She wasn’t going to let this get her down. Tucker had always been a passing thing. They’d never talked anything beyond the night. When it got too deep, Tucker always ran. He was known for his lack of commitment and swinging in the breeze. She’d be okay.

  Maybe she’d thought it would be different with her. Maybe that was the cause of her deliberation about everything lately?

  No matter.

  Nothing mattered right now.

  Maybe she’d skip the pizza and go right for the dessert. She had a half gallon of chocolate ice cream and a jar of peanut butter just waiting in the freezer for a spoon. She’d eat it right on the couch. Screw being careful. Heck, maybe she’d eat it in the bathtub.

  That’s a plan.

  With a spring in her stride at that decision, she vaulted the last two steps and put her key in the door. Only she didn’t need it. Because the door opened by just turning the knob.

  Dang it, Tucker. He’d forgotten to lock it when he left. He often did that. That’s okay because I forgot to lock up my heart. We’re both a little stupid in that.

  She pushed the door the rest of the way open and marched over the threshold. She shut the door behind her and locked it. For good measure she threw the dead bolt on too.

  Little late. For your heart too.

  All that security wouldn’t help her. It was like trying to get chickens in a house with a hole in it and a fox outside. There would always be leaks, and she’d never succeed in protecting herself. But it would have to do.

  “Evening, Ally.”

  She gasped at the words and spun around so fast she almost lost her balance. Another moment in the world of Ally Grace. Her mother had had a sense of humor when she’d named her baby. Ally had probably fallen out of the basinet. She righted herself and looked at Tucker sitting on her couch. “Tucker. You scared the living daylights out of me.” Then she gaped at him some more.

  Because Tucker was dressed up. For Tucker. He wore a blue button-down shirt that brought out the fine blue of his eyes. Khaki pants instead of jeans. Dress shoes. His hair was neatly combed, especially for him, though there was an errant lock that never went the way he wanted it to. His crossed legs still looked powerful even covered and at rest. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” The rich timbre of his voice still sent shivers up and down her spine.

  “I didn’t see your car. I didn’t think you were here.” I thought you’d run away after what I told you this morning.

  “Why wouldn’t I be here?” He uncrossed his legs and sat forward as if he hadn’t run when anything emotional had come up for any of the women he’d dated the past ten years. “Why, Ally?” His eyes looked so cerulean.

  She’d never see the sky this shade or so clear. She tried not to get lost in those eyes the way she had so many times before. “I don’t know.” Because you don’t like it when it gets serious. And she’d been upset this morning. That was normally what sent Tucker running and yes, he’d run from her in the past to play with his bimbos. She cocked her head to the side. He was sucking up to her. That’s what he was doing. “What do you want, Tucker? What have you done now?”

  He got the impish look that he always did when he didn’t want her mad at him, and it usually worked. She could only count a handful of times when it hadn’t. “Really? You think I’m up to something automatically? Why?” He was full of questions today. Must be the philosophy student reemerging. Sort of like a mammal awakening from hibernation.

  “You’re all dressed up. And waiting for me.” She stepped closer. “And you’re clean.” She wrinkled her nose. “And you smell good.” Darn good. She couldn’t help but take another whiff of his manly scent. His smell was his alone, and she could get lost in that too some days. Some days, she was lucky if he put on deodorant or cologne after work before dinner. He always showered before bed, but there had been days when she’d made him go earlier than that because of his aroma. He was oblivious, like he was about most things. “You want something.”

  He laughed. “No. I don’t want anything. I just thought we’d have dinner together. Spend some time just the two of us. Maybe have some fun together. Maybe play games.” It had been forever and day since they’d done that. They went out a lot, especially to support Rose. They spent a lot of time together, but either he was gaming or she was reading or they were having sex. They didn’t spend a lot of occasions doing stuff together.

  She couldn’t look away. He was so handsome. Any resolve she ever had went slinking away whenever she was with him, especially the way he was right now. It was why she didn’t understand how she could be so unhappy. The sex was good. Great in fact. She adored his friendship. She couldn’t put her finger on what was lacking or even why she needed it, but she did. “I don’t have anything for dinner here.” A lie, and he would know it. She always had stuff for emergency meals. Spaghetti and sauce were always in her pantry, even when the rest of it was bare. ”I was going to do takeou
t.”

  The doorbell rang behind her, startling her yet again. What was this? Make Ally Jump Night?

  She turned to look without stepping toward the noise. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Which gave her pause. The only other person who might come to see her unannounced, besides the one who was sitting in her living room, was with Carl and he wouldn’t give up his time with his lover. If Carl was working, yes, Devyn would come over in a heartbeat. But she knew Carl wasn’t working, because she’d talked to Devyn before she came home. Devyn had specifically said he was going home.

  Tucker shifted to his feet, and in three steps of his long, loping stride, he was at the entrance. He dropped a quick kiss on her cheek and politely moved her off to the side. He opened the door to reveal a delivery man. From the pizza place right around the corner, exactly where she’d been planning to get her meal.

  Ally’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. She hadn’t placed an order yet. Tucker never ordered dinner. He liked to mooch but using the telephone wasn’t in him. If she waited for him to call, she’d wait a long time.

  Even more surprising was that Tucker handed over bills and paid in cash, which he never had. How much did he owe her from the last years? More than she could possibly count.

  He shut the door behind the delivery man and stood holding the large pizza box. “Shall we go into the dining room?”

  She moved, and he followed. She finally found her voice. “You ordered pizza? For us?” Yes, it was a stupid comment. But she couldn’t figure this thing out, and Tucker usually didn’t surprise her.

  “Yep. Half everything and half just pepperoni. Just the way we always get it.” He ran into her with the box as she stopped short. “Hey. You almost got pizza up your back. Or down as the case may be.”

  She’d stopped short because her dining room table was set. With real plates and silverware. A glass of water rested by each plate. The mail that had taken up residence there over the last week had been vacated.