The One That I Want

by Zuri Day

  Cara lay curled on her side. Mitch spooned against her with his arm draped across her waist. She listened to his steady breathing. They hadn’t shared a word . . . after . . . She squeezed her eyes shut. Never in her life had she done something so crazy. How was she going to face him, work with him? What in the world must he be thinking about her? She pushed her fist to her mouth to keep from crying.

  “You are amazing.”

  The soft, whispered words jolted her. Her throat clenched.

  “I’m glad you stayed.”

  “I . . . should probably go.”

  He shifted in bed and propped up on his elbow. “Why?”

  “I have a busy day tomorrow.”

  “Oh. All right.” He pushed up from the bed and got up. He found his discarded pants and put them on.

  Her stomach tightened. She’d hoped deep in her soul that he wouldn’t so readily agree. Clearly what he’d just said to her was merely something to say but had no real meaning. She kept her back to him while she located her clothes and got dressed.

  The time it took her to dress and make her way downstairs was the longest, most uncomfortable minutes of her life.

  Mitch retrieved her coat from the closet while she put on her still-damp shoes.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, unable to look at him. She slipped into her coat.

  “So . . . I guess you’ll get back to me when you post the sale.”

  She swallowed. “Sure.”

  “Good.” He opened the door and took his jacket from the hook. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “It’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.” She opened the door and was hit with a blast of icy air and snow.

  “I may not be a lot of things, but I am a gentleman. You want to leave, then I’m walking you to your car.”

  She turned up the collar of her coat and stepped outside. Mitch was right behind her. He took her arm as she teetered through the snow that was up nearly up to her ankles in some spots. He pulled her protectively closer to him and she wanted to turn back the clock and do it over. Stay. But it was too late for that.

  Cara’s hair was covered with snow, her feet were soaked, and when she reached her car the warmth that the closeness of his body provided was gone. She dug in her purse for her keys. Mitch took them from her hand and opened the door. She slid in and shivers overtook her body. She clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering.

  “Thank you.”

  “Not a problem.”

  She dared to look up at him and her world shifted again. He stared back at her with the same kind of longing that hung in her heart. But she was sure that it was only the play of shadows across his face.

  “Drive safely.” He shut her door, cutting them off. He stepped back from the car and jogged back to his house.

  Cara lowered her head and rested it on the steering wheel. What an utter fool she’d made of herself. She put the car in gear and slowly pulled off, determined to put this night behind her.

  Chapter 7

  “You did what?”

  Cara cringed. “I slept with him . . . well, we didn’t do much sleeping, but . . .”

  “Cara!” Stella yelped. “You? Well, it’s about damned time.” She laughed.

  Cara held the phone between her ear and shoulder while she uploaded photos onto the computer. “Not funny.”

  “Well, was it good?”

  Cara momentarily closed her eyes envisioning their time together. “Good doesn’t begin to describe what it was like.”

  “Ohhh weeee. That’s what I’m talking about mixing business with pleasure. So, now what?”

  Cara sighed. “Nothing.”

  “What do you mean nothing?” Her pitch rose. “Don’t tell me you did something crazy.”

  “Why does it have to be me that did something?”

  “Because I know you, that’s why. What happened?”

  “Stella . . . I don’t know what came over me . . .” She began to tell Stella everything that happened. When she finished there was nothing but silence on the other end. “Stella? Hello?”

  “I am at a total loss. What is wrong with you? He told you he was glad you stayed and what do you do, get up and leave!”

  “But he didn’t try to stop me.”

  “Really, Cara? Really? This is all about you being so damned scared to share yourself and show any kind of vulnerability. You have got to stop feeling guilty about Jeff. It wasn’t your fault.”

  Cara flinched. The death of her husband went way beyond finances and loss. It eroded the center of who she was. And even though the years had passed, the effects lived deep in her soul every day.

  Stella blew out a breath. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that, but I want you to find happiness again. At least give it a chance.”

  Cara blinked away the water that began to fill her eyes. “I don’t know if I can, Stella.”

  “But you’ll never know if you shut down any opportunity before it gets a chance.”

  “So what should I do?”

  “Has he called?”

  “No, but he sent me a text to find out if I got home safely.”

  “Okay, did you respond?”

  “No,” she mumbled.

  “Grrr . . . Look, it’s up to you, but don’t blow this if the only reason is because you’re afraid. And I won’t say anything else about it . . . for now,” she added with a soft laugh.

  “How’s the editing going?” she asked, needing to change the subject.

  “Almost done. We should be finished this week. We have it on the schedule. It looks great and so do you, by the way.”

  “Good to hear. Anyway, girl, I have tons of work to do and a client to see.”

  “Cool. We’ll talk. And Cara . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “Text him back. Bye.”

  “You let her leave? You?” Brad asked, truly surprised.

  “I wasn’t going to beg. She obviously wanted to go.” He moved around the kitchen checking the dishes that were being prepared for the evening rush.

  “You must be losing your touch, my brother. Maybe you should have been honest with her instead of acting like it was really all business.”

  Mitch tossed him a look. “That’s not it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Wish I knew. I sent her a text and she never responded.” He focused on the inventory list in his hand. “Guess it was the moment and nothing more.”

  “What about you, though? I thought you had a real thing for her.”

  “Hard to get something going when it’s one-sided.”

  “Never knew you to give up so easily.”

  He chuckled at the barb. “Who says I’ve given up?”

  Brad clapped him on the back. “That’s more like it.”

  Cara had picked up and put down her cell phone at least a half dozen times. Stella’s parting admonishment ran through her head. After all, it was only right to be gracious and reply. Right?

  She picked up her phone again and stared at the text. She drew in a breath and began to type.

  Hi. Sorry for not getting back sooner. Busy. Yes,

  I got home safely. Thanks for asking. Dinner was great. I will let you know when your house is posted. CH.

  She went over every word to ensure that she wasn’t sending any mixed messages. Finally, she hit send. Her heart thudded as she stared at the screen of her phone. Would he even answer? After a few minutes it became apparent that he wasn’t sitting staring at his phone waiting on her. She put the phone down just as it rang. She didn’t recognize the number.

  “Cara Holiday.”

  “Hey. It’s Mitch.”

  She stopped breathing, uncrossed her leg, and knocked her knee on the desk. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep from hollering. “Hi,” she eked out.

  “Just got your text. Thought I’d call instead of texting back.”

  Her face heated. “Oh.”

  “I know you said you’d let me know when you
posted the house, but I was, uh, wondering if you had any properties that you could show me. Give me an idea of what’s out there.”

  The surprise of his call, listening to the silk of his voice and remembering their night together had short-circuited her brain waves. She couldn’t think. “Um, sure. I can put a list together.”

  “When?”

  “How about Saturday afternoon if you’re free?”

  “I’ll make myself available.”

  “Great. I’ll send you a text with the time.”

  “I’d rather if you called.”

  Her insides flipped. “Not a problem. I’ll do that.”

  “I look forward to hearing from you. I want to get this process started.”

  “Of course.”

  “Take care, Cara.”

  OMG, the way he said her name . . . “Bye.”

  Cara disconnected the call. Her hand shook. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. A slow smile moved across her mouth. She shook her head back to reality and turned to her computer to pull up her listings and began making some phone calls to set up a time for a visit on Saturday.

  After more than an hour she’d been able to secure three appointments. She made some notes on her iPad, then went out to inform Tricia of the showings.

  “I’m going to head out. I have two appointments, so I probably won’t be back.”

  “See you tomorrow.”

  “Night.”

  She had an apartment to show and a commercial space. Both showings went well and if the client’s finances were right, she would secure two more sales. It definitely turned out to be a good day. Now all she had to do was keep her head on straight when she met with Mitch on Saturday.

  Mitch. She still needed to call him to let him know she’d scheduled the showings for Saturday. She was sure that he would have to arrange his day in order to be available. The sooner he knew the better.

  Before she pulled off from her last appointment location, she took out her cell phone. She scrolled through her contact list and selected his name. Her pulse kicked up a notch while she listened to the phone ring.

  “Downtown 2. How may I help you?”

  For a moment she was thrown. She’d thought she’d dialed his number but had dialed the restaurant instead.

  “Hello. I’m trying to reach Mr. Davis.”

  “Whom may I say is calling?”

  “Cara Holiday. He’s expecting my call.”

  “One moment.”

  Cara sat and listened to the recorded music while she waited. Moments later the young woman came back on the line.

  “Ms. Holiday, Chef Davis is tied up at the moment. He asked if you were in the neighborhood if you would mind stopping by. If not, he would have to call you later.”

  “Oh.” Stop by. Was she prepared to see him again so soon? “Sure. Please tell him that I can be there in about twenty minutes. But I can’t stay,” she quickly added.

  “I’ll be sure to let him know, Ms. Holiday.”

  “Thank you.” She disconnected the call and blew out a breath. She’d fixed her mind to be ready to see him on Saturday. That would give her time to compose herself. Well, she couldn’t sit in her car forever. She may as well get it over with. Maybe seeing him again . . . so soon after . . . would put things in perspective, and she could stop wondering if what she felt and experienced with him was real.

  Mitch kept checking his watch and had been to the front of the restaurant a half dozen times since Cara called. He could have easily taken the call, but the truth was he wanted to see her. He didn’t want to wait until Saturday. Maybe if he saw her . . . he didn’t know what he expected or what he wanted other than his need to see her again. How could she have gotten to him so quickly? It made no sense in his orderly mind. Cara had hit a cord in his soul, and as much as he tried to pretend otherwise to Brad, it was just that—pretense. The problem was he had no idea if she felt the same way. But he was willing to do whatever he needed to get her to see beyond the business that they had between them—fake or otherwise. Once he got beyond the wall that she’d erected, he’d tell her the truth. By then it wouldn’t matter. They’d laugh about it. Until then, he’d go along with the charade that he’d devised and play it out to the end.

  The front door opened and Cara walked in. Mitch momentarily froze. She didn’t see him at first and he took those brief moments to take her in. She was wrapped in a winter white coat that showed off her dewy caramel complexion and sandy brown wild spiral hair. Her luminous dark eyes moved slowly around the space and then they landed on him. His gut clenched.

  Her glossy lips eased into that smile that haunted his dreams. He walked toward her.

  “Thanks for coming.” He placed his hand on her waist. “If you have a few minutes, we can talk back in my office.”

  Cara swallowed over the knot in her throat. “Sure.”

  “It’s not much,” he said, guiding her around the tables with his hand now at the small of her back. “But it works.”

  She could barely concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other with him so close and touching her. The familiarity of what those hands could do and had done to her body was fresh in her mind.

  They exited the main dining area and turned a short corner. He pushed open a swinging door that opened onto a narrow hall.

  “Second door on the left.”

  Cara stopped in front of it and Mitch reached around her to open the door. Her nose was at his neck. Her lids fluttered as she inhaled a quick whiff. She stepped inside. Mitch closed the door behind them. The room was small, tight, too small for the two of them.

  “I know you said in your message that you didn’t have much time.”

  “Right.” She held her purse in front of her like a barrier.

  “I was hoping that after we talked, you might want to stay for dinner. On the house,” he added to sweeten the invitation.

  “I hadn’t planned . . .”

  “You have to eat, don’t you?” He weakened her with his gaze.

  Cara bit back a smile. “I suppose so.”

  “Do you have other plans?”

  She needed to leave. Go home. Keep it strictly business. “Depends on what’s on the menu?”

  “Sounds like a challenge.”

  “You seem to be the kind of man who can rise to any occasion.”

  The right corner of his mouth rose. His eyes sparked. “You’re on.”

  Cara lowered her lashes over her eyes. “I’ve scheduled three showings for Saturday. The first one is at noon. Can you make it?”

  “I’ll be wherever you need me to be.”

  The burner in her belly flamed. Heat jetted through her veins. All of the air got sucked out of the room.

  “I’ve got to get back to the kitchen.” He took a step toward her. She reached behind her for the wall to brace herself. “I’ll get you a table.” He stepped closer. His eyes roved across her face, down her neck. “And whatever you decide on I’ll prepare for you.”

  Cara ran her tongue across her lips.

  Mitch opened the door. “After you.”

  She drew in a tremulous breath and walked out on shaky legs that barely held her up.

  Chapter 8

  Mitch set her up at a window-seat table. “You can choose from the menu or I can fix you something off the menu.”

  Cara opened the menu. “The house special is fine.” She looked up at him.

  “The house special it is. Wine while you wait?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ll have a waiter bring it.” He paused a beat. “I’m glad you stayed,” he said softly.

  A whirlwind of emotions whipped through her. She saw them entangled together, their mouths and bodies locked. Her lips parted. He turned and walked away.

  Cara pressed her hand to her mouth. What was she doing? She was playing with fire. She knew that. Where could this go, this game they were playing with each other? Did she even want something more? She wasn’t sure. What she did know is that
whatever time they could have together she wanted it, because she wanted him . . . again . . . and again for however long.

  Her heart banged in her chest. She reached for her glass of water. It was decided. She was going to let this thing go however far she could take it. She took a swallow of conviction and set the glass back down.

  From her vantage point she had a full view of the restaurant and the comings and goings. Once again, Downtown 2 was busy. Clearly, Mitch had a good business model. Was his space in D.C. as successful? It must have been if he was able to open a second location and now contemplating a third. There were other things that she wanted to know about him, to ask him, but she couldn’t. Better, she wouldn’t. To what end? Keep it simple. Don’t get too involved. Just enough to quench this constant heat that he’d awakened.

  A waitress arrived to take her order. Cara ordered a simple garden salad, oyster soup, and grilled salmon for the main course. Shortly after a waiter arrived with a bottle of wine. He uncorked the bottle and poured the sparkling white gold into her glass.

  “Thank you.” She took a small sip. Heavenly.

  Around her the restaurant hummed with life. Friends laughed, and couples held hands, and singles waved to their arriving dinner mates. Plates and silverware clinked, conversation hummed, and soft music played in the background. Bit by bit Cara relaxed and allowed herself to indulge in the pleasure of the moment, the atmosphere, the being taken care of. It actually felt good.

  It had become a rarity in her life that she allowed herself to let go, to simply be. The night with Mitch was so out of character for her she could have been reading about someone else’s life. It was a kernel of her that she’d buried right along with her husband. After Jeff, the part of her that shone brightly from within dimmed, the only way that she had survived emotionally was to fill the dimness by rebuilding her life that did not include attachments, or dependency. She wouldn’t go through that again. Losing Jeff the way she did continued to haunt her. She never knew what was worse—losing the love of her life or living with the knowledge of betrayal. He was her teenage sweetheart. They were destined to live and love together forever. They’d built a life together, bought a home. They had plans. Jeff was a man who believed that he should be responsible for taking care of the home and his woman. Cara didn’t have to work, so she continued her education in design and kept a beautiful home and her man happy, at least that’s what she believed. It was all a grand façade.