Claiming His Baby

by Nikki Chase

  “Yes, but it’s different when you experience it yourself. So, you’re staying, right?”

  “Yes,” I answer impatiently, although the money is not the reason I’m staying.

  Dad stares blankly at the bookshelves behind me and lets out a sigh. “I remember when your friend died and his family blamed you. I sent you away to join the Peace Corps and lay low for a while, but you ended up choosing to stay there for eight years.”

  “It’s not that bad over there, Dad. Some people do live there. Can you just tell me what’s going on?”

  “I’m getting to it.” His wrinkles seem to have grown deeper. “I don’t want you to leave again. I’m an old man. I want my only child with me when I die.”

  “I told you I’m staying. Can we stop the guilt trip and just get to the point?” I raise my voice in exasperation. I don’t have time for this. Jacqueline’s waiting for me. She needs me.

  Sadness clouds his eyes—the same green eyes that I have. He says, “I don’t want to do this, but I have no choice.”

  “What are you talking about?” I clench my hands into tight fists.

  He said the same thing eight years ago. That line means he has made a decision that he knows he has no right to make.

  “That girl. Your girlfriend. You can’t see her anymore,” he says.

  I almost burst out laughing. What is this? Seventh grade? I knew I’d have to adjust to being around my parents, but I never imagined this level of intrusion into my personal life.

  “Dad, you just said yourself I can date co-workers. You may not like her, but you can’t tell me who to date. If you want me to stay, you’re going to have to let me live my own life.”

  “It’s not about her working here. You know that.” Dad furrows his brows in displeasure.

  “I can’t just magically know the things you don’t tell me.”

  “I know everything. Don’t try to hide it from me,” he insists, his voice growing louder.

  I press my lips together. I know I can’t take back what I say, so I’ve trained myself to be quiet during conflicts so I can process things in my mind.

  Could he be talking about the same thing Jacqueline wanted to tell me this morning?

  And the timing… I’ve been seeing Jacqueline for weeks, and suddenly both my dad and she have things to reveal to me on the same day? It seems like too much of a coincidence.

  Dad must’ve figured out something about Jacqueline—probably the same thing she wants to tell me. Judging by how strangely they’re both acting, it’s something serious. And they both believe it means Jacqueline and I can’t be together.

  Somehow it has something to do with Sam, too.

  And me leaving.

  No way.

  My heart jumps into my mouth.

  But on some level, I’ve always had this feeling...

  Fixing my gaze on Dad, I ask, “Is this about her being Sam’s sister?”

  Jacqueline

  “Did Dr. Crenshaw say why Dr. Kent wants to see me?” I grip the straps of my shoulder bag a little too hard and I give Karen a tense smile.

  “No, but I’m sure it’s nothing. You have nothing to worry about. You’ve been doing good work.” Karen grins and wiggles her eyebrows. “Maybe he wants to talk about the other kind of work… You know, the kind that you’ve been doing with his son.”

  Shit.

  Gabe’s dad is a scary man. I’ve always been afraid of him, even back when I was just a toddler, tagging along after Sam and Gabe.

  He was also the one who sent Gabe away after Sam’s suicide.

  Oh, God. How am I supposed to face him? He must hate my guts. He probably thinks I’m some gold digger who’s after his money. I can’t blame him, though, after what my family has done.

  “Is something wrong, Jacqueline?” Karen asks in a concerned voice. “You’re pale as a sheet.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just nervous about seeing Dr. Kent,” I lie.

  “I know meeting the parents can be nerve-racking. But you’ll be fine. You’re smart and you’re pretty. Gabriel Kent can do a lot worse than you.”

  I bet his dad would disagree, assuming he knows who I am—which he probably does.

  “Karen, I…” My sentence hangs in the air as a battle rages in my chest.

  I’ve been keeping everything bottled up inside for too long. I can’t talk to my family. I can’t talk to Gabe. I’m at my boiling point.

  So even though I couldn’t say anything in front of Gabe this morning and the Chief of Medicine is waiting for me, I know this is my last chance to get some counsel.

  I want—no, I need—to tell someone what’s going on.

  “Karen, can we talk for a few minutes?” I ask. We’re in the middle of a busy work day.

  “Of course,” she says.

  I look around me. We’re standing in a hallway and there are people all around us, but they seem to be preoccupied with their own stuff.

  I take a small step closer to Karen and lower my voice. “There’s something I’ve been hiding from Gabriel. I think Dr. Kent knows my secret.”

  “What is it?” Karen asks, her voice small to match mine.

  I begin my story. “I had a brother. He died eight years ago…”

  Karen’s eyes grow with shock and worry as I tell her all about Sam’s friendship with Gabe and his suicide. Somehow, I manage to condense it into a minute or two.

  “My family—well, my dad and my brother—they blame Gabe for Sam’s suicide,” I say. “They think he should’ve seen it coming because they’re roommates and they see each other all the time.”

  “But he couldn’t have known—”

  “Yeah.” I say, cutting Karen off. “If Gabe’s guilty, then I am, too. Because I saw Sam probably as much as he did. Toward the end, he didn’t leave his bedroom much.”

  “Maybe they blame him because he gave your brother the gun.”

  “They do,” I say. “But they also know that Sam had all the paperwork and he could’ve gone out to buy one himself.”

  “I guess it’s hard to think rationally when you’re grieving,” Karen says.

  “Yeah. They didn’t even try, though. They just went after Gabe and that’s why Dr. Kent sent him to Africa.”

  “Oh, wow. That’s… I don’t know. You’ve just told me a lot of shocking things, but somehow this last bit of information is the one that really gets to me.”

  “Please don’t let this get out,” I say, realizing my secret could spread like wildfire throughout the hospital. It’s a little too shocking not to make the rounds. But I trust Karen—she’s never been one of those girls who huddle around to share the latest gossip.

  “Of course not. I won’t tell a soul,” she says. “Now, I know facing Dr. Kent will be difficult, and I hate to tell you this, but you don’t have any choice. You have to do it. You know you do. You could lose your job otherwise. That doesn’t seem fair, but your boyfriend’s dad also happens to be your boss so you can’t just not show up.”

  “I know,” I say softly. With a wry laugh, I add, “I don’t know if he’s still my boyfriend, though. Maybe his dad has already told him.”

  “You don’t even know for sure if Dr. Kent knows,” Karen reminds me. “So maybe things are not as bad as you think.”

  “You’re right. But I have a bad feeling about this”

  “Listen.” Karen puts her hands on my shoulders and stare into my eyes. “I’ve listened to your story and I think you’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “But I should’ve told—”

  “You should’ve told Gabriel who you are from the beginning. Yes,” Karen says. “But it’s not… I don’t know. I’d forgive you if I were him.”

  “But you’re not,” I say.

  “I’m definitely not.”

  “I’m scared he’ll think that I’m deliberately deceiving him, that I’m working with my family to get more money out of his dad.”

  “You’re going to have to talk to him to find out what he thinks.
There's no use stressing yourself out, guessing how he’ll feel about it. I honestly think he’ll be okay with it. But first, you need to see Dr. Kent.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I know it’s scary, but it’s only one meeting, and then it’ll be over. You’ll be able to stop torturing yourself.”

  “Yeah.”

  The time for stalling is over. I need to grow a pair and see Dr. Kent.

  “Thanks, Karen.”

  “Any time.” She gives me an encouraging smile. “Good luck.”

  As I navigate the busy hallways of the hospital, dodging stretchers and distraught relatives of sick patients, I think about how to face Dr. Kent.

  I’m not my family. I know you probably won’t believe me, but I’m not after your money.

  I love your son, Dr. Kent.

  Gabriel was Sam’s friend? I had no idea.

  I can’t decide which strategy to use, and I’m already in front of Dr. Kent’s office. I take a few deep breaths and steel myself as I knock on the door.

  “Come in,” says Dr. Kent from inside the office.

  With my heart pounding, I turn the doorknob and push open the door.

  Inside, there’s a man already sitting across the desk from Dr. Kent. I can only see his thick, messy, dark-chestnut hair and his broad shoulders.

  But there’s no mistaking him. It’s Gabe.

  Which can only mean one thing. Dr. Kent wants to talk to us about our relationship.

  And he probably knows who I am. Otherwise, he’d invite me to a nice, home-cooked dinner prepared by his wife. Mrs. Kent used to spoil Sam and me with her delicious baked goods.

  “Please take a seat, Miss Summers.” Dr. Kent gestures at the empty chair beside Gabe’s. “Or should I call you Miss Nolan?”

  My blood runs cold.

  That’s my father’s last name.

  He knows who I am.

  Without saying a word, I pull out the chair and sit down. I cast my gaze down. I can’t bring myself to meet anyone’s eyes. They’ve caught me as the liar I am.

  “Judging from your silence, I suppose you regret your actions so far?” Dr. Kent asks.

  I regulate my breathing to appear more steady, even though every cell in my body is screaming at me to run away from this scary-ass man. I say, “Not at all.”

  I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I can’t let this go without one last fight. I can’t keep letting other people dictate what happens in my own life.

  “You’ve caused a lot of trouble for us. Your brother came here this morning, accusing me and my son of deplorable things.” Dr. Kent’s face contorts in disgust. “He said we were taking advantage of you.”

  “That’s not true,” I answer with conviction. My brother doesn’t get to tell me how to live my life.

  “Be that as it may, he could make it appear like we have sinister motives against your family. This is not the first time he’s threatened us,” he says, alluding to what happened eight years ago.

  “What did he say?” I ask.

  “He said he was going to contact the media with the story. It was going to end up on trashy magazines. Something like that can really hurt a physician’s reputation, Miss Nolan. I’m sure you know that.”

  I cast a glance at Gabe, who’s sitting silently beside me. Angry thoughts swirl like a violent vortex in my mind.

  Does he have nothing to say? Does his dad speak for him? Isn’t he going to fight for me? Has he forgotten what he said about sticking by my side?

  “Your brother wanted Gabriel to leave the country again,” Dr. Kent continues.

  “I don’t care what my brother says. If the story gets out, I’ll deny everything. I’ll make sure they know Gabe’s innocent.”

  “Unfortunately, Miss Nolan, you can’t tell people what to think. I’m not a media expert, but this hospital has had its share of PR disasters, and I have a good idea of how these stories evolve. If you come up with your own statement, you’d probably just make it an even bigger story.” Dr. Kent gives me a condescending look and raises his eyebrows. “Maybe that’s what you want, huh? You want to be famous?”

  “No.” Stunned, I can’t even come up with a good defense against that ridiculous accusation.

  I take another quick look at Gabe. He’s still sitting there quietly, looking straight at his dad.

  Maybe I’m wrong about him. Maybe he’s nothing but a wimp who’d do anything for his dad’s approval.

  “Your brother and I, we came to an agreement this morning,” Dr. Kent declares.

  “My brother doesn’t speak for me.” I sit bolt upright on the edge of my seat, all my muscles tense and ready for action.

  “My son will stay here in this hospital. He’s not going anywhere.” Dr. Kent ignores my protest. “As for you, Miss Nolan, I’ve arranged for you to get an internship position at Glencross Hospital.”

  “But that’s… That’s in Chicago. That’s on the other side of the country,” I say, a little louder than I intended.

  “It’s a prestigious hospital, Miss Nolan. Each year, there’s a lot of competition for the limited internship positions. I managed to get the residency director to agree to take you on.”

  “I’m not going.”

  “Miss Nolan, I think we’re all too old for tantrums. This is the best deal I can give you. You’re not going to persuade me to give your family more money by sulking.”

  “Money?” Anger boils just under my skin.

  Damn it, Ray. What did you do this time?

  “I’ll transfer $100,000 to your brother’s bank account as soon as you show up for your first day at Glencross Hospital,” Dr. Kent says matter-of-factly.

  What? I can’t believe Ray blackmailed Dr. Kent again!

  “Oh, did he not tell you about the money?” Dr. Kent asks with a mocking tone. “You can ask him about it. Ask for your share. As far as I can tell, you were the one who did most of the work anyway.”

  “I didn’t know about the money, and I don’t want it,” I say, tears pricking my eyes. “This has never been about the money for me.”

  I turn to Gabe and look at him pleadingly. Surely he knows I’m not after his family’s money and I really do have feelings for him, right? Even if I’m not Jacqueline Summers, but Jackie Nolan.

  “Gabe…” I call out to him. The lump in my throat makes my voice come out all squeaky.

  Finally, my love turns to look back at me. His green eyes are dark and stormy, but I can’t tell if he’s angry, disappointed, or something else.

  He parts his lips—the same lips that I kissed only a few hours ago. When he speaks, it’s with the same voice that declared his love for me, the same voice that told me he was going to stick around after all is said and done. “It’s for the best,” he says.

  Tears stream down my face. I can’t hold them back anymore. And I don’t care what Dr. Kent thinks about me any longer.

  Without saying anything, I quickly stand up and let the legs of my chair drag noisily across the floor. As I slip out of the office, I wish I could disappear into a black hole and cease to exist.

  That was the most embarrassing thing to have happened to me.

  Not only that. The way Gabe looked at me… That’s going to haunt my dreams.

  But I’ll get over him. Because it turns out he’s nothing but a spineless coward.

  That’s worse than a liar.

  Sam

  Age: ???

  I know.

  I shouldn’t have done that.

  That much is clear.

  My problems were temporary, and I should’ve been able to fix them, had I been in a healthy state of mind.

  I scan my bedroom.

  Everything looks normal, just as it always has… except for my lifeless body, lying just a couple of feet away.

  I should feel regret, now that I realize I was wrong. But as I dig deep within me, there’s nothing. No relief; no sadness. I’m completely devoid of emotions.

  I marvel at my own composure as Gabe and J
ackie pound on my bedroom door. I try to answer when they scream out my name, but they can’t hear me, no matter how loud I yell back.

  But that’s okay.

  It’s not a big deal, guys. I’m already dead and lying in a pool of my own blood. You can’t help me anyway.

  I take a moment to appreciate how level-headed they are, even in the face of crisis. They’re calling the cops now.

  It has now been more than 24 hours since they last saw me. They know I’m in here because the door is locked and they can hear my phone ringing, but obviously I haven’t responded to any of their panicked pleas. Normally, I would have.

  Gradually, their screams get softer and their knocking, too. They stay just outside my door, Gabe telling Jackie everything’s okay. He’s a great guy, but he’s wrong about that.

  The cops finally force open my door. They recoil in shock when they see my cold corpse. Before anyone can stop her, Jackie slips forward between the grown-ups. Her eyes widen in shock, and they quickly fill with tears.

  “No,” Jackie says, her voice breaking. “No, no, no, no…”

  She rushes to my side—my body’s side, I should clarify—but the cops hold her back.

  “This is a potential crime scene, Miss,” one of the two men in uniform says as his partner comes forward, presumably to deliver first aid. It’s way too late for that now, buddy.

  “But that’s my brother right there,” Jackie says between sobs.

  “I’m a doctor,” Gabe says to the cop, who nods at him, giving him permission to approach.

  As a medical intern, Gabe has seen some blood. But he’s probably never seen this much blood pouring out of someone he knows.

  He takes nervous, hurried steps toward me—my body—and takes my pulse. Within seconds, his face falls. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows. He makes eye contact with one of the cops and slowly shakes his head.

  Jackie’s sobs turn into pitiful wails, and even Gabe is tearing up.

  But still, I feel nothing.

  It’s as if we’re all playing a game of poker and I’ve folded, so I don’t get to play anymore. I’m just an outsider. An observer. The outcome of the game doesn’t concern me now.