Me: How can you be like this, Jeff? I loved you.
Loved, I thought. That was the right word. Every bit of love I'd felt for him had been chipped away, piece by piece. The first piece left when that door opened and she was standing in our home, and he'd been chipping away at it since. There was nothing left. I couldn't go back. There was no way. His next text sealed the deal.
Jeff: Oh, and just so you know, Susan will be here with the kids once they're here. I wouldn't want you to worry about them.
The anger that filled me when I read that line was more intense than I'd ever felt before. Those were my kids he was talking about. He was not taking them away from me. I didn't care what I had to do, I would do it.
My hands were shaking. I couldn't stop myself when I typed again. Words I never could have imagined slid from the tips of my fingers.
Me: Fuck you! I'll never come back, and neither will they.
Jeff: We'll see about that.
I pulled my arm back, and with a loud growl, I launched that same arm forward, just as Parker had showed me, and threw my phone as hard as I could against the wall. It made a loud noise and fell to the floor in three separate pieces. When my eyes traveled back up the wall, there was a nice size dent where the phone had hit. Shit! I had no idea how I was going to explain that to James and Sammie.
I fell back onto the bed and pulled the cover up around me again. It must have been hours that I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about the mess my life had turned into. For just a second, I thought about calling my dad to talk, but I knew I couldn't do it. It was bad enough that I already had to find a way to explain not going to them in the first place and instead driving for hours to James' house. I couldn't talk to James and Sammie either. I'd heard her words earlier, she felt the same about me that Jeff felt, and I was pretty sure James felt that way as well. I needed to find my own way out of what was happening, and if I did have to ask for money, I needed a plan on how it would be used and another on how it would be paid back to them. It was my job to figure out the solution. I loved my kids very much. Whether I showed it correctly or not, they were my world, and there was no way their father was going to take them away.
When I got out of bed in the morning with barely any sleep at all, I picked up the pieces of my phone to try and put it back together. That was when I saw that the screen was shattered. There was no helping it. It was toast, so I threw the pieces into the trash. When my eyes took in an up close view of the dent in the wall, I shook my head. It was definitely a good throw. As upset as I was, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought. If it wasn't Sammie's wall, she would have thought so too. Since it was her wall, I'd have to find a way to break it to her gently and of course, find a way to fix it.
When I walked down the stairs to get a cup of coffee, James was alone in the kitchen.
“Hey, Cassie,” he said, with a bit of tension in his tone.
“Hey, James,” I said, as I grabbed a cup, set it on the counter, and filled it. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What?” he asked, with a concerned look.
“My phone broke,” I said. “I was wondering if you could get me a new one? I'll pay you back.”
“I can't,” he said. “Jeff has to get it. If not, you won't be able to have the same number. It's on his account.”
“I don't want the same number,” I said, feeling nervous and unsure.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered, wanting so badly to cry out a big no and tell my brother what was going on.
“Is there something you're not telling me?” he asked.
“Not at all,” I said, lying again. It was not his job to deal with my craziness.
“Okay,” he said. “I'll get it today. Do you mind if it's through the company? I can get you a better deal that way.”
“That would be perfect,” I said. “One more thing, do you have an old laptop at work or here that I can use. I need to get on the internet to take care of a few things.”
“Of course,” he said. “I'll bring you one today. I'd give you mine, but I take it back and forth.”
“Thank you so much, James,” I said, as I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. “I know I've been a huge pain, but you will never know how much I appreciate everything you're doing for me. Do you think we could go to lunch or do something to spend some time together?”
“Sure,” he said. “I'd like that. Let me see when I can get a free minute. I love you, Cassie. I feel horrible for what you're going through. You know I'll help in any way I can.”
“I do,” I said, as I let go of my brother and grabbed the coffee I'd made for myself.
I'd just sat down next to Sammie on the couch when the doorbell rang, and I froze. She looked over at me with the strangest look before getting up to go answer the door. I don't know why I was nervous. It wasn't like Jeff could make things any worse, but hearing that bell still scared me.
Jackson came running into the room with a huge smile on his face. His mom came through seconds later with a tired look on hers.
“You sure we have to do this today?” Lauren asked Sammie. “How do you have so much energy?”
“Well, you can see my dad there for a short time or for hours at your house. Which is it?” Sammie asked her in return.
“Ugh!” Lauren let out, as she plopped down onto the couch.
I couldn't help but let out a laugh. Lauren and Sammie were very different. While Sammie could move every second of the day, Lauren was getting tired earlier each day. She was helping to finish their house, so I had to give her that.
“What?” Lauren asked, as she turned her head toward me while leaning it back against the couch. “You think this shit's funny? I hope I see the day you look like this when you're pregnant. I don't know how she does it?”
“Oh, I'm done having babies,” I replied. “You need a man for that, and I have no interest in one of those anymore. I have to agree with you though, I don't know how she does it either.”
We both sat on the couch watching Sammie move around the room.
“She's not ready,” Lauren said, pointing over at me. “I'll just take a tiny nap until you're done. Take your time.”
Then she mouthed the word please, and my face went from a laugh to serious.
“Oh,” she said with a smile. “If I'm going, you're going.”
“Get your ass moving, Cassie,” Sammie said. “I want to get there before the place closes.”
“It's early,” Lauren said, as she shook her head. “Not to mention, you own the place.”
“Just move,” Sammie said, as she looked over at us with a stern look set on her face.
“Yes, Mom,” I said, as I pushed myself up from the couch.
“Don't act like you're tired,” Sammie snapped, as she grabbed my coffee cup from me. “Your ass was in bed longer than the two of us put together last night.”
“Doesn't mean I slept,” I whispered, as I headed for the stairs.
“I've been ready for over an hour,” I heard Sammie say from behind me.
“Good for you,” Lauren replied to her in a cocky tone.
“Even the kids are ready,” Sammie added.
“I'm going,” I yelled out over my shoulder. “I'll hurry.”
“No need,” Lauren shouted.
“Shut up,” Sammie yelled at her.
When I reached up into the air and flipped her the bird, they both burst into laughter. I found myself laughing too, all the way to my room. Those two were something else. Lauren was pretty cool. It wasn't her fault her husband's family was crazy. She had to have a good sense of humor to make it with them. It was actually refreshing being around people that told it like it was, instead of smiling to my face and then talking behind my back. With my friends in Michigan, I spent more time trying to impress them, just so that wouldn't happen, than I did building real relationships.
“Do I really have to do this?” I mumbled, as I pulled out a drawer t
o grab a pair of jeans.
It was hard enough putting one foot in front of the other just to keep moving without bursting into tears. Every single part of me was so damn worried about what was going to happen, and it took all I had not to let it show. Going to that place and seeing Parker wasn't something I wanted to do. He seemed to enjoy pushing my buttons, and I knew it wouldn't take much, with the state I was in, to break me. There was no way I was losing it in front of him. That could not happen.
Once I was ready, I walked down the stairs and into the living room. Sammie looked up at me and laughed.
“What?” I asked, already feeling so damn irritated with her.
“You know,” she said. “I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of miss the old Cassie. She at least ran a brush through her hair before she slapped it up on her head. Is there any chance of hitting a happy medium between the two?”
“Shut up,” I said. “I'm ready. That's what you asked for.”
Lauren looked over at me and laughed.
“That's not how you catch him,” she mumbled.
“Catch who?” I asked. “I'm not interested in catching anything except for a ride right back here.”
She gave me an okay, whatever look, and I narrowed my eyes at her.
When we got outside, Lauren took Jackson to her car and Sammie motioned me toward hers.
“I can just drive myself,” I said.
“Not going to happen,” Sammie said.
“Why does Lauren get to drive herself?” I asked.
“Because I'm going home when I leave there,” Lauren answered. “There's no way I'm getting stuck with her for the rest of the day.”
The entire ride, I repeated the words “please don't be there” over and over in my head. When Sammie parked, we got out and walked toward the building. Lauren was right behind me. She let out a laugh when I walked through the doors and released a relieved sigh when I didn't see him.
“What was that for?” I asked her.
“Nothing at all,” she said, before walking over to Lance and hugging him. “Hey, Dad.”
She really wasn't so bad, I thought, as he hugged her back. If I hadn't pushed my family away, I would have been as close to them as she was. That was all on me.
I sat down on the bleachers and reached into my purse to get my phone, but it wasn't there. Damn! I was still looking down into my purse when everything from the day before popped into my mind and hit me like a ton of bricks. Before I knew it, a few tears had slipped from the corner of my eye.
“No phone today. Whatever will you do?” I heard his voice just as a very nice pair of dress shoes came into view.
Those were no cheap shoes either. I knew because I was the one that bought Jeff's dress clothes, all of his clothes really. How the heck did Parker afford shoes like that on what Sammie paid him, I wondered?
My eyes traveled very slowly up the suit covered legs. Those pants were made just for him, I thought, as my eyes stopped at his waist.
“Like what you see, princess?” he asked in a cocky tone.
I didn't respond as my eyes continued their journey upward. His dress shirt looked so sexy clinging to his chest. His suit jacket was doing a fine job of hiding everything I wanted so badly to see. He was freshly shaven, and his hair was perfectly combed, still wet from a shower. Why did someone so cocky have to be so damn sexy, I wondered, as our eyes connected and his gorgeous smile slipped away. When his hand moved quickly toward my face, I jerked back, and a concerned look crossed his. What the fuck was that, I thought? Shit!
Chapter 7
Parker
What the fuck! Why had she just jerked away from me, I wondered? Was she pissed, or was it something else entirely?
When I'd first walked up, I was pretty sure she was going to have something cocky to say about the way I was dressed, which would have been a total joke seeing as how she looked as if she'd just gotten out of bed. It was like she didn't care anymore. The woman I'd seen the first time she walked through those doors was all put together. The woman I'd seen since then was someone else entirely. Seeing her looking into her purse like she'd just lost something important, even though it was just a phone, had me messing with her before she even looked up at me. I couldn't help but get distracted when she fucked every inch of my body with her eyes on the way up to my face. There was no way I'd imagined it either. That shit was real.
I was so busy thinking about how that cocky mouth of hers tasted and just how good it would feel wrapped around that very spot her eyes had lingered on the longest that I hadn't noticed them move up the rest of the way. The second her eyes hit mine, I felt her pain. It hit me like a bat to the head and brought me instantly back to reality. Something was really bothering her, I could see it in those dark, beautiful eyes. The times I'd seen her before, she'd been broken, but something had changed. The woman sitting in front of me on those bleachers was broken worse than she had been yet, and I couldn't help but want to step in front of her and take whatever was causing her pain away.
She had tears on her cheek, so I reached out to dry them, only she didn't let me. Instead, she jerked away as if my fingers were on fire. It didn't make sense. I wasn't sure why she'd done it, but not one reason going through my mind was a good one. I looked over my shoulder at her family. They were all playing. Not one of them was looking over. How could they not see her pain, I wondered? They were literally the best people I knew, and one of their own was suffering, but they were going on like it wasn't happening.
I felt for her. Believe me, I didn't want to. The time I'd spent thinking about her before that moment had been much more than it ever should have been. I knew that for sure, but it didn't stop the new thoughts from coming. If I could help just a little bit to ease her pain, I knew I had to do it. I'd been through some shit myself. I'd been broken too, and I didn't know what I would have done if nobody had noticed my pain. I couldn't just walk away from hers, not once I'd seen it.
“You okay?” I asked.
What I really wanted to ask was why the fuck she'd just jerked away like that, but I knew I couldn't. That wouldn't get me anywhere. Did I really want to get anywhere? There was so much going on for me. I was in the middle of trying to keep my shit together, without anyone noticing, while some very important decisions were being made about my life, decisions that I had nothing to do with. I didn't have the energy to take on any other stress, even if it wasn't my own. As if she could hear my thoughts, she said something that had me defending my own self.
“Like you really care,” she snapped.
“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it,” I said sternly.
“You're looking for a simple yes or no,” she said. “If you really knew what you were getting into by asking that, you wouldn't have done it.”
“What?” I asked, not sure exactly what she meant.
“Nothing,” she said, waving her hand as if I was being blown off. “I'm okay. That's what you want to hear.”
“I want to hear the truth,” I said, defending myself again.
“That's what I tell all of them,” she said, as she looked out on the field at her family and friends.
“Cassie,” I warned, in a deep but low tone.
“What?” she snapped, as her eyes came back to mine, almost in challenge.
“Where's your phone?” I asked sternly.
“I don't currently have one,” she said innocently. “It had a little mishap yesterday.”
“A mishap?” I asked, knowing there was more to her words than she was letting on.
“Yep,” she answered. “James is getting me one today.”
“James is getting you a phone?” I asked.
“That's what I said,” she answered, her voice filled with warning. “Don't even think about giving me shit about it. My brother has to get me a phone. If I had a damn dollar to my name, I'd get one myself, but I don't, so I can't.”
“Settle down, Woman,” I said roughly. “I wasn't going to say a damn thing about it.�
�
“Yeah right,” she said, as she shook her head. “I don't believe that for a second.”
I wanted to talk to her, but I had to leave. There was no way I could be late for the meeting I was heading to. Things were crazy enough, and I wasn't about to add to any of it.
“I'll be right back,” I said, as I turned around and started walking away.
“Oh, I can't wait,” she replied sarcastically, and I could feel her eyes on me the entire time.
I wanted to turn back and let her know that I knew exactly where she was looking, but I didn't want to upset her more than she already was.
I walked into Sammie's office, wrote my number on a piece of paper, and walked back toward Cassie. When I handed her the paper and she opened it, she let out a laugh. No lie, that shit stung a bit.
“What?” she asked. “You want me to call you so you can fuck with me over the phone?”
Before I could stop it, the growl rumbled up from my chest and out of me.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“I want to talk to you, but I have a meeting, and I'm already running late,” I said roughly.
“Really?” she asked, as she looked back at the paper.
“Yes,” I said.
“You want me to call you?” she asked.
“I do,” I answered honestly.
“Promise you won't give me shit?” she asked, with a tiny smile.
Just that little grin had me feeling like I wanted to make her smile even more.
“I can't promise that,” I said, with a smile. “If I do, you'll fuck with me for sure, and that's not going to happen, princess. Call me.”
With that, I turned and walked out of the building, again with her eyes glued to my ass.
Out of My League: Complete Box Set Page 11
