I got in my car and drove out of the lot, feeling a little lighter about my meeting, even though the outcome of it could change my whole life and take my kids away from me even more.
“Keep your head in the game, Parker,” I told myself, as I drove down the road. “Remember who she is and where you've been. Do not get distracted.”
Chapter 8
Cassie
When I got home, I sat down and read his number over and over. Did he really want me to call him, I wondered? He acted like he really cared, but why? I was a total mess and had been almost every time I'd seen him. If I was him, I'd have run the other way as fast as I could. Every interaction we'd had until that moment had been like nothing I'd ever had before. We'd given each other shit, he'd helped me, we'd kissed, and we'd given each other shit again. I looked down at his number one more time before shaking my head and then setting the paper on my nightstand.
I sat in my room, waiting for James to get home from work. He'd gone by Lance and Lauren's when he was done for the day, so I'd been waiting for nothing and hadn't found out until he finally opened the door to my room and woke me from a nap I hadn't planned on taking.
“I brought the stuff you asked for,” he said, as he leaned over and set a bag and a box on my bed.
Then he turned to walk back out of my room.
“James,” I called out, and he stopped. “Can you help me get online with the laptop?”
“Sure,” he said, as he turned back, stopping halfway, where his eyes went right to the dent my phone had made in the wall. “Cassie.”
“Don't be mad,” I said, as I hurried to my feet and walked over to where he was looking.
“Could that have anything to do with why you needed a phone?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered. “I'll fix it. I will. I didn't mean it.”
“That makes me feel a bit better,” he said, and I gave him a confused look. “I thought it had something to do with Jeff. I thought you wanted a new number so he couldn't reach you. I'm glad it's not that. I'd be pissed if he somehow hurt you all the way from Michigan. I'm so glad you're here.”
“I am too,” I said, feeling so damn guilty for not telling him what was going on.
He grabbed the phone box out the bag, opened it, and pulled out the stuff from inside. It wasn't a cheap one either. Then he reached in again and pulled out a another box with a case in it.
“You didn't have to do that,” I said. “Any phone would have been fine.”
“It's no big deal, Cassie,” he said. “I wanted to make sure you had something good in case you were out and needed something.”
“Like a whole cart full of clothes,” I said, feeling guilty for what I'd done before. “I'm surprised you even want me to be able to call you.”
“Not funny,” he said. “Of course I want you to be able to call me. You're my sister.”
He slipped the case onto the phone and handed it over to me. Then he handed me the charging cord. That's when it hit me.
“Dad,” I said, as I looked down at the phone.
“What about him?” he asked.
“Will he see a new phone on the bill and wonder?” I asked.
“You really have blown us off for a long time,” he said, as he shook his head. “Dad doesn't have anything to do with the business. It's completely mine. The only one you know that will see the phone number on the bill is Lucy, and she won't give a shit.”
A wave of relief swept over me.
“Why is it so important that they don't know?” he asked. “Would it really be so bad if they did?”
“Yes,” I said, with a fast nod. “It would be. I feel horrible, James. I feel like complete shit knowing that I walked away from my family for Jeff. I don't need them seeing me as a failure. I don't want them thinking I only came back because I needed something.”
“It's true though, isn't it?” he asked, and I felt like someone hit me at full force with a ball to the stomach. “If you hadn't found what you did, you would still be there, and we never would have heard from you.”
I sat down on the bed, set the phone on the nightstand, and dropped my head into my hands.
“I didn't say that to upset you, Cassie,” he said.
“I know,” I said. “You're right. That's the sad part. Now that I'm here, I realize how much I've missed. Your little girl is getting so big. You have a baby. You're having another one. The part that hurts the most is that you're closer to Sammie's brother's wife than you are to me. I feel like I don't fit in anymore. I never really did.”
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“You all had baseball to keep you connected. Even mom was right there with you. I didn't like it, so I had nothing to connect me to any of you. I honestly felt alone.”
“You really felt that way?” he asked.
“All the time,” I answered. “I bet you guys barely noticed I was even gone.”
“Bullshit!” he snapped. “That is complete shit and you know it. Sammie thought you two were friends. You just cut her off. You don't know how much it hurt when she saw you with a baby that none of us even knew about. She'd text you to tell you about our baby, but you never even bothered to tell us about yours. I can't tell you how many holidays I'd look over to see tears in mom's eyes because you and the kids weren't there. They can't stand Jeff. Dad would love to kick his ass, but he's always held his tongue. Why? He did it so they could see you and the kids, but you weren't there. You know grandma never felt Jeff was good enough for you. If she knew you were here, she'd have mom driving her here as fast as she could. Sure, she'd tell you that you'd made a huge fucking mistake with that asshole, but she'd also be right there helping you recover from that same asshole. When she finds out, she's going to kick your ass. She's going to kick mine too.”
“I know,” I said, as tears filled my eyes. “I'm so sorry, James. I'm sorry for walking away, and I'm sorry for coming back.”
“Don't say that,” he snapped, as he sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. “I'm glad you're here now.”
“Sammie isn't,” I said.
“She is,” he said. “She gets irritated that you're not the one taking care of your kids, and I agree with her there. She's also glad that she gets to see and spend time with them. I can honestly say that she'd be proud of that dent over there. That was a good throw.”
“We've been tossing the ball back and forth,” I said, almost feeling a bit proud of that dent.
“She said that,” he said. “I think going there has been good for you. She said you even get out there and play with the kids.”
“I do,” I said. “I care about my kids. I know you guys don't think I do, but they are my everything. They're more important to me than anyone or anything.”
James turned around and grabbed the other box.
“What did you want a laptop for?” he asked, as he pulled it out of the box.
“To do some research,” I said. “Is that new? It looks like it's never been taken out of there before.”
“It is,” he said. “The few I had at work were old. I ran to the store and got one I knew you'd actually be able to use.”
“James,” I snapped. “You shouldn't have done that. I don't know how I'm going to pay you back.”
“Please tell me you're not going back, Cassie,” he said, as his hands stopped moving and his eyes moved over to me. “You have no idea how pissed I am at that fucker. It's taking all I've got not to drive to Michigan to pay him a visit.”
“I don't want to,” I said.
“Why do I feel like there's a but at the end of that?” he asked.
“No reason,” I said. “I don't need anyone going to Michigan to see him either. This is one battle I have to fight on my own. No matter what happens, I have to be the one to take care of it.”
“I disagree,” he said, as he went back to working with the laptop.
It didn't take long before he had it online and was handing it over to me.
“There's a bag for it
in there,” he said, as he pointed to the bag he'd taken the phone and case out of. “I figured you might want to take it with you somewhere and didn't want you to have to carry it around.”
“Thank you so much, James,” I said, as I reached over to hug him.
“Give me a few more weeks,” he said. “As soon as Lance and Lauren are moved in, I'm going to have a lot more time. That whole tree house thing is Lance's deal. I only signed up for the real house. I want us to spend some time together, Cassie. I'm hoping you decide to stay here somewhere instead of going back to Michigan. We're even trying to get mom, dad, and grandma here too. If you move here for good, we just might be able to make that happen.”
“So you want to use me as bait?” I asked with a laugh.
“No,” he said sternly. “I want you and the kids here. I was just saying it would be cool if we were all here together. The three of them aren't getting any younger, and neither are we. I want my whole family together.”
“I know what you mean,” I said. “Now that I'm here, I can't wait to be part of my family again. Thank you for not shutting the door in my face that day, James. I honestly wasn't sure what was going to happen.”
“That would never happen,” he said. “I love you, sis.”
“Love you too,” I said.
The second he left and the door was closed behind him, I opened the laptop and started researching. It didn't take long for me to realize that I didn't have a clue. The only thing I did digitally was text and post on my social media, and I hadn't done that unless I had to since I'd walked away from Jeff that day. I seriously had no idea where to begin. I knew I needed to react in some way to Jeff's divorce papers. It had said that much on them. If I didn't, I guess it was like I was agreeing with his craziness or something.
There was no way I could afford a lawyer, not without my brother anyway. There had to be something I could do on my own, I thought. Then I'd find a lawyer and come up with a plan before I sat James down to discuss it. I'd have time for that. The first thing on my list was to do whatever I had to do to let Jeff and the courts know that I was not at all in agreement with the papers he'd sent me. When another hour had gone by, and I'd still made no progress, I decided I'd start fresh again the next morning.
I thought about my new phone and the number sitting beneath it the entire time I'd been working. Did he really want me to call him, I wondered? Part of me thought if I did call, it wouldn't be the right move. I knew we weren't teenagers, and he had volunteered the number, but I was still nervous about it. What would we say? It seemed like most of our conversations were filled with sarcasm, so I had no idea which way a phone call would go. As I stared up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to take me, I wanted so badly to pick up that phone. I wasn't sure why, but I did.
Early the next morning, I headed down to the kitchen to get coffee before going right back to my room. With the laptop out in front of me again, I got back to work. I hadn't gotten too far before I heard a knock on my door. When it opened, Sammie stood there with a baby in each arm.
“You look busy,” she said.
“I'm just trying to figure some things out,” I said.
“Get ready,” she said, as if what I'd just said didn't matter at all. “We're going to play some ball. I need to be there this morning.”
When I looked up from the laptop at her, she shook her head.
“Now,” she said. “We leave in fifteen minutes.”
When my door closed, I looked down at the clock on the bottom of my screen and couldn't believe two hours had gone by. I bookmarked the pages I had been looking at and put the laptop aside. Then I got ready as quickly as I could. There was no way I was making Sammie wait. I could tell by the look on her face that she was not in the mood to be messed with. I'd even managed in that short amount of time to actually pick out some decent clothes, style my hair, and put on a bit of makeup.
When I walked into the living room to see Lauren sitting on the couch with a tired look on her face, I couldn't help but laugh. It was pretty obvious that she didn't feel like going anywhere. I was actually looking forward to it. I couldn't believe it myself.
“Wow,” I heard her say.
“What?” I asked.
“There's hope for you yet,” she replied with a smile.
“Shut up,” I said.
“What's the occasion?” she asked sarcastically.
“Occasion?” I asked.
“You actually brushed your hair,” she said with a smile. “You got a hot date or something?”
“Very funny,” I said. “One asshole is enough to deal with for me.”
“What?” I heard Sammie ask, as she came around the corner.
“Nothing,” I answered. “Are we going or what?”
“I can't believe you actually seem like you want to go,” Sammie said.
“Can't imagine why,” Lauren whispered, as she stood up from the couch. “Let's get this over with.”
When we walked into the building, I caught myself looking around.
“What are you looking for?” I heard Sammie ask, as she stood watching me.
“Nothing,” I said.
Sammie walked away, and Lauren stepped closer to me.
“I bet I know,” she said.
“No you don't,” I replied.
“Oh really,” she whispered, as she got even closer. “I'm no fool.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, as I quickly turned to her.
“They might all miss it,” she said, pointing toward Sammie and Lance who had just walked out from her office, “but I don't.”
“You're crazy,” I said.
“Am I?” she asked. “I don't recall the last time anyone else hung out together around the corner of the building, beside the two of you that is.”
“What?” I asked much louder than I planned.
“He's not coming,” she said with a smile. “He's at a meeting.”
“He had one yesterday,” I said, before I even thought about it.
“Oh did he?” she asked. “How do you know that?”
“He mentioned it on his way out,” I said, as if it were common knowledge.
“While you were watching his ass?” she asked with a smirk.
“I was not,” I snapped in a whisper.
“Come on,” she said. “Your eyes were glued to it.”
“Whatever,” I snapped. “Don't you have something to do, like give Lance a pregnancy report?”
“Very funny,” she said, as we both looked over to see Lance coming our way. “You won't be laughing one of these days.”
“I don't think so,” I said, as I walked toward Sammie. “Throw the ball around with me.”
I felt a tiny bit of pride each time I threw correctly. There hadn't been time to show Parker the day before, but the next time he was there, I was going to let him see that I had skills too, just like the rest of the family. I couldn't help but want him to see that I wasn't who he thought I was, even if I was beginning to think he might be right.
When we got back to Sammie's, I went right to my room and got on the laptop again. The whole time I was working, all I could think about was Parker. How did Lauren know he was at a meeting, I wondered? She seemed to really be keeping track of him. Why? Ugh! Stop it, I quietly scolded myself. Each time I thought about him, I looked over at the phone James had gotten me. When I couldn't take it anymore, I picked it up, along with the piece of paper beneath it. I pushed the button on the side and brought the phone to life. Then I went into the contacts. There was no way I needed Parker's number sitting on my nightstand, even if it didn't have his name along with it. My fingers hovered over the phone, as I thought about what name I should set with his number. If James, Sammie, or one of the kids got my phone, I wouldn't want it to say Parker. Then I'd have to answer questions I didn't know the answers to. Why did I have his number would probably be the first one they'd ask, and I honestly wasn't sure why he gave it to me or why I kept it when he did. Once I had
his number programmed, I tore the paper into tiny pieces and threw them away. Then I got back to work.
By the time dinner was over, which I didn't even eat, and I was back in my room, I'd thought about calling him at least a hundred times. I knew it was crazy. He probably hadn't thought about me once since he'd walked out that door after giving me his number. I'd made progress in my research and was pretty sure I'd found the forms I needed to fill out and turn in with the court. If I was right, that would give me until after Christmas to talk to James about the money for a lawyer. What more could I ask for? Then I started thinking. What if they weren't the right ones? What if I missed something? I couldn't lose the kids. There was no way Jeff was taking them away from me.
When I couldn't take it a moment longer, I closed the lid on the laptop and let out a long breath. Then I fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes. A vision of Parker standing in that suit popped into my head, and I sat up. He wouldn't have given me the number if he didn't want me to use it, I thought. One call, I whispered to myself. What could be the harm in one call? I grabbed my phone and tapped around until my finger hovered over his number. Then I tapped it and sucked in a long breath as the phone rang.
“Hello,” he said, sounding almost as if he was trying to catch his breath.
“Parker?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“This is Cassie,” I said in almost a whisper.
“Oh, princess,” he said. “I was wondering if you were going to actually use that paper or throw it away.”
“You didn't actually want me to use, did you?” I asked in a serious tone.
“If I didn't want you to call, I wouldn't have given you the number,” he said. “Hold on a second.”
I heard a tap and then noises of something moving around. Then I heard his voice again.
“Sorry about that,” he said.
“I should just let you go,” I said.
“No,” he said. “I'm glad you called.”
“Really?” I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Did you not have anyone else to fuck with today?”
“Oh, I had plenty of others to fuck with,” he said with a laugh. “Maybe I'd just rather fuck with you.”
Out of My League: Complete Box Set Page 12
