A Little Something Different

by Sandy Hall

  “What are you doing right now?”

  He flashes a gold Starbucks card.

  “Aunt Kate strikes again?”

  “The woman loves sending me Starbucks gift cards. I don’t even enjoy their coffee that much. I don’t like coffee that much period. But I suppose it’s starting to grow on me. I’ve also become kind of addicted to some of their pastries.”

  “Let’s go,” I say. It’s a short walk and we’re entering the coffee house in no time.

  “Hey,” Gabe says to the girl behind the counter as we step up to order. CHARLOTTE, her name tag reads. “Long time no see.”

  The girl rolls her eyes, but smiles. “I broke my foot when I slipped on some ice.”

  “Last year I was in a car accident and I shattered my elbow and lost all hearing in my left ear.”

  She blinks at him. “So it’s a competition?”

  Gabe laughs and I stand there stunned. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this. I have to wonder if his therapist medicates him during their sessions. Or maybe he gets hypnotized and she forgot to snap him out of it. We collect our drinks and move toward an available table.

  “I talked to my therapist about trying the desensitizing thing,” he tells me before I can ask the obvious question.

  “You know, I got that idea.”

  He chews his lip and thinks it over. “Okay. So, here’s the deal,” he says. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, about my hearing. The doctor said maybe it would get better. Not like magically better, but you know, I’m young and it might improve. My other ear would start making up the difference or something. And I thought maybe I would get really good at lip reading but that has yet to happen. Instead I spend a lot of time looking at people’s mouths and getting nowhere.”

  I nod. “It would be cool if all your other senses would get better. Like Daredevil. How’s your sense of smell, Gabe-o?”

  “Daredevil’s blind, you asshat.”

  “Still, it could happen.”

  “That’s what I kept telling myself. Except now it’s been over a year and it’s really affecting my everyday life. It’s making school harder and talking to people harder. I’ve never been good at talking to people to begin with, but when you can’t hear them it’s impossible.”

  “What do your parents think?”

  He sighs. “I talked to them about it last time I was home. I think they were relieved that I finally admitted that things weren’t great.”

  “So now what happens?”

  “We made an appointment with an audiologist for over spring break. I don’t know exactly how the timeline works, but it’s a start.”

  I nod. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “It costs a lot of money. So I feel guilty about that. Especially because they already took out a second mortgage to pay all of my hospital bills or whatever.”

  “Don’t they have insurance?” I ask.

  “Of course, but it turns out all that stuff costs a lot of money even with insurance.”

  I want to make sure I look as interested as I feel so that he keeps talking.

  “So, how much does a hearing aid cost?” I ask.

  “Like a thousand bucks, maybe more, depending on what I need. But I’m not sure a regular hearing aid would even really help me. There’s this other kind of hearing aid where it transmits sound from your deaf side to the not-deaf side.”

  “You’ve been doing your research.”

  “Yeah, well, I work at a library now. I feel like I need to hone my skills.”

  “This all sounds suspiciously like good news.”

  “It is good news. It’s pretty cool. There are these other wireless ones and teeny-tiny ones that you can barely see. But it’s hard because I have to come to terms with this idea. This idea of needing a hearing aid.”

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “It’s not. But it is. It’s like I am a Deaf person. I have something wrong with me and people can see it and I can’t hide it.”

  “And this is why you haven’t wanted to talk about it,” I say, light finally dawning in my idiotic brain.

  “Yeah. I want stuff to be normal. But the more I try to make it normal, the worse I feel. And I have all this guilt, because I lived and I’m really fine. No one died. I’m not in a wheelchair, and I’m not blind. I’m a little bit deaf and I can’t play baseball anymore. In the scheme of things, that’s nothing.”

  “It’s still a lot to deal with,” I say.

  “Thanks for saying that. Sometimes I think it is, and sometimes I feel like I’m being a baby about it. But it’s good to hear someone else say it.”

  “Okay. So.” I start ticking these issues off on my fingers. “We have the denial, the money, the guilt. Anything else?”

  “Nope, that’s basically it.”

  “You do realize, aside from a variety of other benefits, that if you have a hearing aid it will mean people can also see why you might not be responding. They wouldn’t assume that you’re ignoring them all the time.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

  “You should totally think about it like that,” I say, leaning back in my chair. “And thank your aunt Kate for this rocking caramel macchiato next time you talk to her.”

  “Indeed I will.”

  “Well then, I declare this meeting of Gabe and Casey over.”

  Maribel (Lea’s roommate)

  When I get back from chem lab, there’s a note on the whiteboard that apparently Bianca “misses my freaking face.” I toss my things on my bed and then head upstairs to see what she’s up to.

  “Hey,” I say as I approach her open door and knock on the doorjamb.

  She smiles and slips off her earbuds before sitting up and bouncing on her bed. “I have good news!”

  “What?”

  “Bailey texted me to see what I was doing tonight.”

  “Yes! Progress.”

  “And I lied and said I was going to the movies with a friend.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know! I panicked. Since I didn’t already have plans I didn’t want to end up saying something stupid like that I was washing my hair.”

  “Fair enough,” I say, taking a seat on her roommate’s bed.

  “So, he asked to come along.”

  “But you’re not actually going to the movies.”

  She smiles a gigantic smile and I can tell I’m about to get roped into something. “Well, then he said he’d tag along with us, if that was okay. So, I’m going if you say you want to.”

  “Did you just trick me into going to the movies as a third wheel with you and Bailey?”

  “He said he’ll bring a friend.”

  “Do you think he’ll bring Gabe?” I ask.

  “I don’t know. He didn’t specify. Maybe we should bring Lea?”

  “Danny picked her up to go home for spring break like ten minutes ago. I ran into them in the parking lot.”

  “Too bad.”

  “You think Gabe likes her?” I ask. The three of us spend so much time together that it’s rare that Bianca and I ever get a chance to speculate about Lea’s crush on Gabe.

  “I think they’re pretty much in love but they’re too stupid to do anything about it,” Bianca says.

  “Yeah, I have to agree,” I say. “How are we getting to the movies?”

  “Bailey said he’d pick me up at eight.”

  “All right. What’ll we do until then?”

  “Nap?”

  “Always a solid idea.”

  Sam (Gabe’s brother)

  The dorms close for spring break, so I’m supposed to be on my way to take Gabe home as requested by our mother. But he insisted that we stop at the convenience store by his building because he was craving a Twix bar and root beer.

  “Why does it have to be that particular combination?” I ask.

  “Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it,” he insists.

  My buddy Antonio is working the register so I
stop to chat with him about the calc midterm we took the other day.

  “It was the worst,” I say.

  “It was challenging,” he says. But he’s not paying attention to me. At some point in our conversation, Lea walked in and I didn’t even notice. He’s watching her and my brother walk around the store.

  “Watch these two,” he says.

  “Why?”

  “’Cause they come in here every once in a while, and she goes to one corner and he goes to the other, and then they move around the store creating parabolas as they come together and bounce apart. They’re the weirdest couple on Earth. I want to write math equations about them.”

  I give him what I hope is my most confused look. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with your stats textbook.”

  “No, really, look. Their trajectory of attraction is like an equation.”

  He brings out a piece of paper and starts drawing graphs and writing long lines of numbers. He talks while he works, and soon Gabe and Lea are standing there watching him, too.

  When he realizes he has an audience, he pauses his pencil. “You know we’re running a deal on the giant bag of Twix if you want to share.”

  Lea and Gabe look at him blankly.

  “Aren’t you together?”

  “Together?” Lea asks.

  “Yeah.”

  She shoots a glance at my brother. “We’re not together.”

  “But statistically … it would seem like you’re attracted to each other.”

  “This is the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had,” I tell Antonio.

  “This happens to us a lot,” Gabe says. I keep myself from celebrating that he actually spoke in front of Lea.

  Antonio shrugs and rings up Lea’s purchases. “It’s true, the math is solid.”

  “Lea my love,” a guy says from the doorway. “The natives are getting restless.”

  She giggles. “I assume by ‘natives’ you mean … you?”

  “I mean all the parents picking up their kids who want my parking spot.”

  “All right,” Lea says.

  She smiles at us and leaves.

  “You saw that, right?” Gabe says to me.

  “Yes.”

  “And you heard what he said.”

  “Yes.”

  Antonio shakes his head. “It makes no sense. By my calculations, you’re perfect for each other.”

  Danny (Lea’s friend)

  “So that was weird,” Lea says as we head toward my car.

  “First, the matter at hand,” I say. “Did you get me my Twix bar?”

  She hands me a bag.

  “Thanks, sugar. So, what was going on in there?”

  “The guy who works in the store told me and Gabe that he could predict our level of attraction to each other by charting our trajectories and the fact that we made a parabola in the store as we were shopping for snacks.”

  I stare at her.

  “I know,” she says.

  “Interesting,” I say. “I wonder if that theory would hold any water. I feel like we could make millions writing some kind of self-help book involving math and romance.”

  “Yes, Danny. That’s definitely the takeaway from what just happened in there.”

  We pull away from the curb and she sighs, checking her phone.

  “Great, Maribel and Bianca are going out with Gabe’s friends tonight. I can just imagine what they’re going to talk about.”

  I make a noise that I hope is completely noncommittal.

  She rolls her eyes. “And what if Gabe’s there. I need to make them swear not to talk about me.” She types furiously into her phone.

  “Maybe it would help.…”

  “I don’t know. I’m tired of it. I’m really tired of being embarrassed all the time. And trying and having nothing happen.”

  “At least you’re trying,” I say. I hate not having any advice for her. I love giving advice and this whole situation makes me feel kind of useless.

  “Ugh,” she groans, putting her face in her hands. “When did I become so self-absorbed?”

  “I promise you’re not self-absorbed. You’re wonderful. Everyone loves you. Including your friends. And if they talk about you with Gabe’s friends, they won’t say anything bad.”

  “I know, I know. You’re right.” She puts her phone in the cup holder.

  “Good girl.”

  Casey (Gabe’s friend)

  “So, Gabe just flat-out refused to go?” Bailey asks as we drive across campus.

  “Yeah, I texted him even though I knew Sam already left to pick him up to take him home for break. I thought maybe the lure of hanging out with Lea would be enough to get him to stay tonight.”

  “And you told him that we were going out with Bianca and her friend?”

  “Yes.”

  “And that her friend might be Lea?”

  “Well, he said that there was no way it could be Lea because she’s running around campus with her boyfriend.”

  “Are we sure Lea has a boyfriend?”

  “He seemed sure,” I say. “He has an appointment with an audiologist tomorrow—”

  “For like his ear stuff?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s a good thing.”

  “And that he kind of doesn’t want to do anything about Lea until he has that settled. But he was really bummed that she was with that guy again.”

  We pull up outside the dorm and Bianca and Maribel are waiting outside. Before they get in, I turn to Bailey.

  “We should try really hard not to talk about Gabe and Lea.”

  “All right. I’ll do my best.”

  The girls slide into the backseat.

  “Hello, ladies,” I say.

  After everyone exchanges pleasantries we’re quiet for what feels like an hour but in reality is three minutes, tops.

  “Okay,” Bailey says, turning to look in the backseat as we’re stopped at a red light. “I’m going to address the elephant in the car.”

  “Bailey,” I say, hoping my voice holds the same note of warning my mom’s did that time I told my aunt her hair was aviation orange.

  “Lea and Gabe. What’s the deal?”

  “I don’t know if we should talk about it.…” I say.

  But Maribel starts talking anyway. “I don’t know how much we should say, but those two seriously need to get their acts together. I mean, how can it be so obvious to everyone around them and not to them?”

  “You know the diner waitress?” Bianca says.

  “Maxine?” I ask.

  “Yes. She loves them. We were in there the other day and she asked Lea how her ‘fella’ was doing.”

  “Yeah, she does that with Gabe, too,” Bailey says. “Except she calls Lea his ‘sweetheart.’”

  “Did you guys hear about the Chinese-food delivery guy?” Maribel asks.

  “Oh, for sure. A word-for-word account.”

  “Does Lea have a boyfriend?” Bailey asks.

  “Um, no.”

  “Gabe says he sees her around with some guy.”

  The girls give each other a look. “Not unless you mean Danny,” Maribel says.

  Bailey and I shrug. “We don’t know his name,” I say, flicking my eyes to the rearview mirror.

  “Danny’s her friend from high school,” Maribel says.

  “He is a boy who is her friend, but definitely not her boyfriend,” Bianca adds.

  “That could be the guy,” Bailey says.

  “So what are we going to do?” Bianca asks, getting down to business.

  “Gabe has…” I pause, and Bailey and I exchange our own look. “Issues. That he should really talk to Lea about himself.”

  “Lea doesn’t have issues, but she has her own litany of insecurities and hang-ups and reservations like every other person on the planet,” Maribel says. “Also she claims she’s done with him. Because she feels like she’s always trying and he doesn’t give her much to work with. Especially not lately.”<
br />
  “I guess there’s not a ton we can do,” Bailey says.

  “Except smush their faces together and force them to kiss,” Bianca says.

  I shake my head at her seriously and Maribel does the same.

  “Sounds like a good idea to me,” Bailey says, oblivious to Maribel’s and my dissent.

  “Here’s the thing though,” Maribel says. “Lea expressly asked us not to talk to you guys about this.”

  “All right, we’ll keep it on the down-low. We won’t even tell Sam.” Bailey is obviously not listening, so I tap him on the arm. “We won’t mention this conversation to Sam, right?”

  “Huh? Nah. Sam’s staying at home all week anyway.”

  Maribel nods. “I think the plan should be that we just encourage them in the right direction. Prod them along,” she says.

  “Keep them on course,” I say.

  Bailey and Bianca are making faces at each other in the rearview mirror and I get the feeling we’ve completely lost them on this one.

  “I’m going to take Bianca’s duck face as agreement,” I say.

  Maribel shrugs. “I always do.”

  Sam (Gabe’s brother)

  On our way back to school after spring break Gabe seems relaxed, happy even.

  “You’re in a good mood,” I say.

  “I am. I’m really relieved about the hearing aid stuff, even if nothing’s actually happening yet.”

  “So, how does it work?”

  He shrugs. “First I have to decide exactly what kind is right for me. And then I have to go for a fitting.”

  “What’s the plan with Lea?” I ask. “Now that you’re taking care of your crap, it seems like maybe it’s time to formulate a plan.”

  “There’s no plan.”

  “Seriously?”

  “For now I just want to concentrate on this hearing stuff,” he says, not looking at me, pretending to be nonchalant as he hums along with the radio. “There’s no way she likes me anyway.”

  “Or she thinks you don’t like her because you refuse to speak in front of her.”

  “Or she has a boyfriend and all of this is moot.”

  “Or you have shown absolutely zero interest in her every time you’re in her presence and therefore she cannot be held accountable for having gone out and found herself a boyfriend who is willing to engage her in conversation.”