Cautious (Sequel to Disastrous)

by Montes, E. L.

  “Hey Mia, Megan and I are ordering Chinese tonight for dinner, is that cool with you?”

  Disappointed that it was Jeremy, I answered, “Yes, that’s fine. Thank you.”

  “I’m ordering our usual and Megan wants to add some fried dumplings. You cool with that?”

  “Yeah, that’s good.” After I agreed, we ended the call.

  What the hell. I needed to listen to my mother’s advice and wait for when Marcus was ready to talk, but if he wasn’t ready before the week was over, I was definitely going to reach out to him. I could only take so much of the growing distance between us.

  When I arrived at the apartment, Jeremy and Megan were on the couch, cuddling and watching TV. They had already ordered the Chinese food. I told them I was going to get settled in before coming back out to eat with them. I went into my room, put all of my things away, and then entered the bathroom. It was just what I needed— a long hot shower to rid myself of the insecurities planted in my head.

  After forty minutes, I was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, and my hair was tossed up in a messy bun. When I left my room, I saw Megan and Jeremy eating at the bar. I sat on a stool to join them. “How was school?” Megan asked.

  I groaned as I reached for a plate. “It was okay. I met with Sara afterwards for coffee. How was your day?” I asked as I filled my plate with steamed chicken and vegetables, white rice, and fried dumplings.

  “It was good. Ooh, did she mention Philly this weekend?” I responded with a nod. “Well, are you going? You should bring Marcus. Jeremy is going.”

  “I’m only going to judge the so-called famous cheesesteaks I’m always hearing about.” Megan shot him a dirty look. “Also, to meet Megan’s parents and grandparents, of course,” he added and then flashed a huge charming smile.

  I laughed and shook my head at Jeremy’s goofiness. “I’m still thinking about it. I’ll let you know by tomorrow.”

  Megan shrugged and dug into her plate. I played with my food due to the lack of appetite as we continued to talk. “You want to hear something funny?” Megan asked.

  “Sure.” I answered as I sipped on water.

  “Jeremy and I were out to dinner last night, and one of his exes approached our table. She asked how his fiancée was doing.”

  I about choked on my water! Bursting into a laugh, I wiped a tear from my eye. “Oh my God. Was it one of the girls I kicked out?”

  “Oh, there was more than one? Interesting.” Megan turned her eyes toward Jeremy.

  Jeremy gave me a look before he charmed Megan. “There was. But you’re the one.” He winked at her. She blushed at that, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

  “You’re weak, Megan.”

  Jeremy tossed a dumpling at me. “Dude, you’re supposed to be on my side. Remember? Bros before hos?”

  Megan and I burst out laughing even harder. He just shook his head and continued to eat his food. As I tried to calm down from my laugh, my cellphone rang from the bedroom. I hurried off the stool and practically ran toward it. When I reached my room, I was shocked to see Theresa’s name on the screen. “Hello?” I answered a bit out of breath.

  “Mia?” Theresa’s voice cracked over the phone.

  “What’s wrong, Theresa?”

  “It’s Marcus.” She sniffed. My heart dropped and my knees buckled in weakness. I knew something had to be wrong. Numerous thoughts flashed across my mind.

  “What happened? Is he hurt? Where are you? Where can I meet you? Where is he?” I blurted out all the questions in one breath.

  “No, no. He’s fine. Well, he’s not. Mia, he found out about my secret.”

  Relief rushed through me that he wasn’t hurt, but then fear crept in just as quickly. “How did he find out? I promise I didn’t say a word, Theresa.”

  “I know. I know.” She took a few calming breaths before continuing. “He overheard a conversation I had the night of his party. He wouldn’t let it go. Over the last few days, he dug for information and asked around until he had enough to question me. By that time, I couldn’t deny it. We just had the biggest argument. He’s extremely angry. I’ve never seen him so angry before. He stormed out of my house about forty minutes ago. He won’t answer my calls. I don’t know what to do.” She burst into hard sobs. I couldn’t take the pain. I wished I was there to comfort her.

  My head snapped up at the sound of the doorbell. I hurried toward the entryway of my bedroom. Peeking out, I watched as Megan looked through the peephole. “It’s Marcus.” She yelled out as she reached to open the door.

  “Theresa, he’s here. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Okay, and, Mia, he doesn’t know that you know. I kept that from him. This is my mess, not yours. I didn’t want him angry with you as well.” I closed my eyes as another rush of relief ran through me. I quickly told her I would keep her updated and tossed my phone on the bed. By the time I headed toward the entryway of my bedroom, Marcus had stormed in and shut the door behind him.

  I watched as he paced back and forth distracted by his own thoughts.

  “Marcus?” I approached him cautiously.

  Ignoring me, he continued to pace around the room. Finally he froze and turned to face me. “Come away with me.”

  Puzzled by his instant urge to go away, I studied his unreadable his expression. “Where to?”

  His brows rose as he shrugged. “I don’t know—anywhere—my vacation home in the Bahamas? Anywhere you want to go. I just have to leave.”

  My heart broke for him. I knew the information he just found out was hard for him to take, and as much as I wanted to jump in his arms and comfort him, I had to control myself. “When?”

  “Now. I’ll help you pack.” He swiftly passed me and headed toward the closet. I followed him. He reached for a suitcase and started throwing random things in it. His mind was completely distracted. He even grabbed a frame that held an old picture of my brother and me when were kids from on top of the dresser and tossed it into the case.

  I caught his wrist and forced him to look at me. I wanted him to stop. “Why are we leaving?” I knew why, but I had to pretend, and that was so hard to do. As I stood in front of him, I wanted to desperately console him. Instead, I had to lie. I felt sick to my stomach for pretending. I had never had to pretend with him before, and I felt disgusted with myself.

  “I just need a break. I’m fuckin’ stressed, Mia.”

  I reached up and grazed the side of his face with my fingertips. “What are you stressed about, Marcus?”

  He shut his eyes and leaned into the palm of my hand. His face relaxed for a few seconds. Then he shot his eyes open. “With work and the jobs, I just want to go away with you and forget about it all. Just for a few days, I need to clear my mind, before I fuckin’ lose it.”

  My thumb caressed his face as I stared into his worn out chocolate eyes. My stomach tugged with guilt, and I had an urge to break down and tell him everything I knew, but I couldn’t. “Okay.” I nodded. “Okay. We can go away. Megan, Jeremy, and my mother are leaving Friday for Philadelphia. They invited us to go with them. I know that’s two days away, but if you want, we can leave for Philly now and have some time to ourselves before they arrive.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good. Okay, let’s finish getting you packed.” I grabbed his arm to stop him again.

  “Marcus, how about you take a shower while I finish packing. Okay?”

  He stared at me with furrowed brows. “Do I stink?” He lifted the collar of his shirt to his nose and sniffed.

  Laughing, I reached up and smoothed the collar. “No, you just seem worn out and a hot shower will soothe you.”

  “I don’t have any clothes to change into.”

  “I have a few boxer briefs and t-shirts you’ve left here before. They’re clean. Just toss on the same pair of jeans.” I went toward my drawer, pulled out his things, turned, and handed them to him.

  Marcus looked down at the few things in his hands and then back at me. He nodded and then
headed toward the shower. Letting out a long breath, I quickly texted Theresa and told her that we were going away for a few days and that I’d keep her updated. I quickly gathered my suitcase and sat patiently on the bed for Marcus to finish.

  After twenty minutes, Marcus came out of the steamy bathroom with his hair damp. I thought the hot shower would relax him, but with his brows creased and his lips kept in a thin line, I knew it didn’t work. I wished I knew what was running through his mind at that moment. “You ready?” he asked.

  As I stood from the bed, I gave a curt nod and reached for my suitcase. He was faster than me and grabbed it before I could. “Do we need to stop by your house to pack a bag for you as well?”

  He grabbed my arm. “No, whatever I need, I’ll grab in Philly.” I didn’t question him on it. I knew him well enough that I was sure he thought his mother was at his home and he wanted to stay away from her.

  Before we left, I explained to Jeremy and Megan that we were going to Philly early and that would meet them on Friday. Megan was excited that we were going. I asked her to let my mother know. After our good-byes, Marcus and I hopped in his car and hit the road.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  MARCUS

  We pulled up to a hotel in downtown Philadelphia a little past ten that evening. I had Mia contact them on our drive down and reserve a stay for us in the Presidential suite, which was the best room available. After we exited the car, I removed Mia’s suitcase from the backseat, and then I handed the keys and tip over to the valet. He gave us a ticket before we entered the building.

  Mia’s eyes spread wide open as she gasped when we entered the hotel. I was sure she was admiring the historic structure of the lobby with its oversize marble pillars and the simple touches that were elegant and modern. “It’s beautiful.” She whispered as she leaned into me.

  I smiled at her as we made our way toward the front desk. “Hello, how may I help you?” a brunette asked, with a name tag that read “Sydney” pinned to her vest.

  “We called a few hours ago and made reservations under the name Marcus DeLuca.”

  Sydney tapped her fingers along the keyboard. “Ah, yes.” She placed the room key cards in a small brochure and handed it over to me. “Here you go. Your room number is right here. The elevators are just over there.” She pointed to my right. “Enjoy your stay.” She smiled. I simply nodded.

  “Thank you so much.” Mia chirped. I grabbed Mia’s hand and we headed toward the elevator. I was drained from the long fucking drive. I wasn’t sure why we didn’t fly in, but I was so pissed off at that moment I couldn’t even think of anything else. Mia and I had driven in silence for the last five hours while music filled the space in the car. As much as I needed her, I also needed that time to think on my own.

  She hadn’t questioned my behavior since we had left her apartment, and I was grateful for that. She was usually pushy when she wanted information. I was glad she had resisted those impulses at that moment. I just wanted a fucking bed, and just in time, the elevator doors opened. We exited and made our way toward our room. Mia entered first, and from her expression, I could tell she was impressed. I was too drained to look around and admire the room or even give a shit. I placed Mia’s suitcase on the ground, stripped down to my briefs, and tossed myself in the bed.

  I could hear Mia brushing her teeth in the bathroom. After a few minutes, she joined me in bed after she shut off the lamp. I pulled her to me as I pressed my forehead into the crease of her neck. Her sweet scent eased me into a soothing trance. It was all I wanted at that moment: a different place, a bed, and my girl.

  ***

  I was in such a deep sleep that, when I woke the next day, I had forgotten where I was. Until I took note of the hotel room, it didn’t dawn on me that we were still in Philly. Mia wasn’t in bed, nor could I hear her in the bathroom or the living room area. Looking around, I searched for my phone. When I remembered it was in my jeans, I grudgingly rolled out of bed and grabbed them. As I was about to dial Mia’s number, she waltzed through the door. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” she sang as she approached me with a few bags in her hands. “I’ve never heard you snore before. You were pretty out of it, so I decided to grab some clothes for you. I hope you don’t mind?”

  Still grumpy, I leaned down, kissed her forehead, and then headed toward the bathroom. After I had finished and had returned to the bedroom, I glanced over at Mia. She was on the bed, texting on her phone. Her eyes flashed up at my presence. “I was just texting Megan to let her know that we made it here safely.” She shrugged.

  I nodded and sank into the space beside her. I had the worst pounding headache. The past few weeks had been a fucking mess. I dropped my face into my hands and leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees. Mia placed her hand on my back and began stroking it. “Are you okay?” She asked in a low voice.

  “Yeah, I just have a fuckin’ headache.” I replied in a grumpy tone. She stood from the bed. I could hear her searching for something and then heard a door open and close. When she sat back down beside me, she tapped my arm. I looked up. She held out two aspirins and a bottle of water in her hand. Without hesitating, I grabbed the pills, tossed them down my throat, and downed them with water. “Thanks.” I mumbled.

  “So what do you want to do today? We can grab a bite to eat and then explore the city? Or grab a bite to eat and have a laid-back day with a movie? Or anything?”

  I shoved a hand through my hair in frustration, not with her, just with everything else. I was in a crappy mood, and I knew I shouldn’t take it out on her. “I’d rather stay in. We can do those things tomorrow if you like. I’m not up for exploring. Is that okay with you?”

  “Sure.” Even though she’d been playing it cool and not questioning me, something seemed off with her.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

  With a slight smile, she twirled her fingers along the back of my neck. “Of course, Marcus, you wanted to get away to clear your mind. I don’t mind staying in. We can order in and rent movies. It’ll be fun.” She nodded, reassuring me that she was okay.

  “Thank you.” I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

  For the next few hours, that was exactly what we did. We lounged around in our pajamas, watched TV, ordered in, and rented a few movies. We were lazy, and it couldn’t have been a better day. My mind didn’t drift back to all the bullshit. I didn’t stop to think about anything that fucking bothered me. I just simply took that day to do nothing but relax with my girl. It was just what I needed. We made long, sweet, gentle love that night, and before we knew it, the late night crept in and we were fast asleep.

  ***

  My eyes flashed open at the sound of a loud banging noise. I jerked forward in my chair. The area I was in was unrecognizable. It seemed as if I was in a vacant room in an old warehouse. I stood up from the rusted chair and continued to search my surroundings. Where the fuck was I? Slowly I circled around and tried to find an exit.

  There was none.

  How was that fucking possible?

  The tarnished eight-by-ten space only held one chair smack-dab in the middle. Beside the leg of the chair on the ground was a black-metal object. I made my way toward it, and as I got closer, I realized it was a gun. I picked it up and checked to see if it was loaded. It was fully loaded with six bullets. Confused, I spun around when I heard the noise again. Where was it coming from? It sounded like a rattling noise against a metal frame, but it didn’t come from a particular area. It bounced throughout the room.

  For the next hour, I searched in every inch of the corners, walls, and ceiling of the room and came up empty.

  Nothing.

  Just an empty fucking space.

  If there was no way out, how the fuck was there a way in? Frustrated, I sank into the chair and began going through my most recent memories. Images of Mia and I making love burst through my head.

  Was she safe? Was she taken too? I gripped my hair as anger surged through me.

&
nbsp; Lou. He was fucking responsible. He was responsible for everything!

  He was the only one that could’ve done it. Why? What does he want?

  Why can’t he just leave my fucking life alone!

  Then I stared into fucking space as I looked back on the last fifteen years of my life spiraling out of control.

  My father’s death.

  His gravesite.

  Lou taking me in as his own son. The trust I had in him.

  Jimmie.

  Michael Sullivan. The documents and the news he had of what Lou did to my father.

  Michael’s death.

  Elle.

  The drug exchanges. The murders.

  Club21.

  My mother.

  The fucking lies.

  Mia. What we shared: the love, the pregnancy, what she found out about her brother, the miscarriage.

  FUCK! With the anger burning through me, I shot the gun in the air three times.

  Bang!

  Bang!

  Bang!

  Breathing heavily, I continued to blankly stare into nothing.

  I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, hours or days, but every minute that ticked by my mind began to play tricks on me.

  Who was I?

  What had I become?

  The more I sat there, answering my own questions, the more I hated myself. I was trying to be a better man, but I couldn’t change who I really was. I couldn’t give more. I wasn’t strong enough. I was breaking down piece by piece.

  I had tried to bury my memories six feet under.

  But there was nowhere to run.

  I was tired.

  I was drained emotionally and physically.