Lost Without the River
Page 23
My teachers, all of whom were generous with their advice and time: Barbara Ascher, Walter Bode, Lan Samantha Chang, Ellen Feldman, Daphne Merkin, Marion Roach Smith, and Meg Wolitzer.
Lewis Burke Frumkes, who through his writing programs and his enthusiasm for all things word related made it possible for me to study with outstanding authors.
My friends and supportive critics, Bridgette Devine, Mary Drayne, Don Haight, Vicky Myers, Diana Nash, Helen Pomeroy, Ruth Sussman, Josie Vania, and Colleen Wahl, and my dear departed friend and fellow adventurer, Georgia Kirillin Han, who urged me to “get going” with this so many years ago.
My editor, Annie Tucker, who helped shape these pieces into a meaningful whole; my loyal and tireless assistant, Mariah Plante; and Jack Hamelburg, who in his illustrations captured the images in my head.
The New York Society Library, especially its head librarian, Carolyn Waters, and the members of my memoir-writing group.
To all, my deepest thanks.
Gathering details for this book was similar to trying to capture shifting streams in a current of water. Often, the details of these family stories were hard to pin down. Events changed my parents’ temperaments, so the father my older siblings knew was not the same man I grew up with. And he treated his sons very differently than he did his daughters. And, of course, the ages and the personalities of us children kept shifting, as is true of all families. None of us remembers the same incident in exactly the same way.
Bob, who lives in North Dakota for half the year and in Texas for the other six months, became a willing coresearcher. He traveled to Pierre to read the names and dates on family tombstones, and, a year later, to the Grant County courthouse to verify the date my grandfather had purchased our house. On that visit, the assistant register of deeds spent over an hour helping him locate relevant papers. She told Bob that our house was on the move! Plans had been made for it to be loaded onto a flatbed truck and hauled to another location on our former property, to a place I know well. It will be placed on the banks of the Whetstone River, not far from where I found the buttercups in “The Flood.”
How did she know that the building was about to be moved? Because she’d been raised in that very same house.
When, at last, I had the opportunity to devote whole days to writing and researching for this book, I began to wake in the middle of the night with a phrase, a better word, the proper placement of a particular story. I began to keep paper and pen on my nightstand. When inspiration hit, I’d turn on the lamp and jot down a few words. In the morning, I’d make sense of my scribbles and, often, take advantage of those notes. My brain was working while I slept.
I woke very early one morning with a terrible sense of fear. Half-awake, I was back in the kitchen of our farmhouse. Mother and I were alone. We had heard a terrible cry, which had been followed by crashing and bellowing. I bounded down the steps from my bedroom, meeting my mother just as she dashed into the kitchen.
“It’s a cougar!” she yelled, as she grabbed a shotgun and ran outside.
I was frantic. “Don’t go! Don’t go!” My chest tightened.
Now fully awake, I stood alone in my bedroom in New York City.
That was all I remembered of that night. It was so vivid. I waited until it was a reasonable hour and then called my brother Bob.
“Do you think that really happened? Why were Mother and I alone?”
“Oh, yes,” Bob said. “That happened, all right. A cougar attacked our cows directly below the house. They stampeded, broke through fences that had never been broken before. The cougar slashed one cow down her withers. Years later, when you touched that scarred area, she still shuddered with pain. It took us two days to round up all the cows. But you and Mother weren’t alone that night. It was well past midnight. We were all in bed. Dad and I had to pull on some clothes. We were there in less than a minute.”
In my quest, I’ve asked questions, listened, and taken notes; returned and researched; dreamed and remembered. And now, at last, the stories are written.
Hoffbeck farmstead; summer 1927. Photo taken by Mabel Chaussee.
Roy and Myrtle on their wedding day. September 9, 1926.
Dorothy, 1928
(Standing) Patt, age seven; Helen, age eight.
(Sitting) John, age five; Bill, age three. 1937
Barbara, about one-year-old
Bob, age six
Barbara, age nine
Bob, Barbara, John, Bill with giant cucumber. c. 1947
Remnants of a flood. Year unknown
Barbara saying goodbye to students and fellow teachers at the airport in Bangkok, Thailand 1965
Peter, Joe, Barbara, Stephen 1981
Barbara sitting on the Big Rock on the bank of the Whetstone River. October 1989
This family tree has had to be truncated in the interest of clarity and conserving space. As a result, many beloved sisters-in-law, cousins, nieces, and nephews have been excluded. I hope this book will encourage the younger generations to write the next chapter of our family’s history.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Barbara Hoffbeck Scoblic’s writing career began as a reporter for the Sioux Falls (South Dakota) Argus Leader, and continued in New York City at G.P. Putnam’s Sons. She now lives and writes in New York City.
Author photo ©: Nina Subin Photography
Selected Titles From She Writes Press
She Writes Press is an independent publishing company founded to serve women writers everywhere. Visit us at www.shewritespress.com.
The Beauty of What Remains: Family Lost, Family Found by Susan Johnson Hadler. $16.95, 978-1-63152-007-5. Susan Johnson Hadler goes on a quest to find out who the missing people in her family were—and what happened to them—and succeeds in reuniting a family shattered for four generations.
The Coconut Latitudes: Secrets, Storms, and Survival in the Caribbean by Rita Gardner. $16.95, 978-1-63152-901-6. A haunting, lyrical memoir about a dysfunctional family’s experiences in a reality far from the envisioned Eden—and the terrible cost of keeping secrets.
All the Ghosts Dance Free: A Memoir by Terry Cameron Baldwin. $16.95, 978-1-63152-822-4. A poetic memoir that explores the legacy of alcoholism and teen suicide in one woman’s life—and her efforts to create an authentic existence in the face of that legacy.
The Butterfly Groove: A Mother’s Mystery, A Daughter’s Journey by Jessica Barraco. $16.95, 978-1-63152-800-2. In an attempt to solve the mystery of her deceased mother’s life, Jessica Barraco retraces the older woman’s steps nearly forty years earlier—and finds herself along the way.
The S Word by Paolina Milana. $16.95, 978-1-63152-927-6. An insider’s account of growing up with a schizophrenic mother, and the disastrous toll the illness—and her Sicilian Catholic family’s code of secrecy—takes upon her young life.
The Sportscaster’s Daughter: A Memoir by Cindi Michael. $16.95, 978-1-63152-107-2. Despite being disowned by her father—sportscaster George Michael, said to be the man who inspired ESPN’s SportsCenter—Cindi Michael manages financially and heals emotionally, ultimately finding confidence from within.