Flowers for the Gardener

by Sharon Maria Bidwell

  “Time to move on.” Funny how such a simple truth brought tears to his eyes, in part for himself, his grief over his father’s passing blending with what he would never share with Richard. His fault—he should never have imagined the possibility. Leaving wouldn’t sting so much.

  He trudged on, head down, no longer certain he wanted to look around. To view the garden would remind him of when they planted the rose bushes, or the screen of dogwoods. Or the three varieties of hydrangea all the books said slugs didn’t eat, but someone forgot to tell the buggers was the way his father put his complaint.

  He stopped again. Who was he kidding? No way could he leave, not like this. What he should do was turn around and go back to Richard. Take the damn job. Possibly one day something more could happen between them.

  Hope threatened to kill him and was the true enemy.

  The crunch of gravel scraped at his thoughts a second before someone grabbed his wrist. Natural defences kicked in and he pivoted, ready to ward off an assault, brain shutting down as to the attacker’s identity, bent on self-preservation. The fact it was Richard blasted through the fight or flight fog a millisecond before the man pressed him back against a tree.

  Then his lips were tight against Ethan’s and there was no time for questions, no chance of thoughts, or shoving his boss off. One hand still had hold of his wrist and the other his bicep. Bodies aligned, keeping him prisoner. Demanding, forceful, making Ethan open to him as if through sheer will. Richard’s tongue was in his mouth, and the man knew how to kiss, nibble and devour all at once. The pleasure was marred by the rough scrape of bark and the growing need to breathe, yet these things added spice rather than soured the moment.

  At last Richard needed air. He withdrew, gasping, still pressing tight, as if he feared Ethan toyed with the possibility of escape.

  “You didn’t let me finish.”

  His voice came out breathless, rasping. Ethan, trying to regain control of his own oxygen levels, said nothing. Not a thing Richard had to say was likely to change Ethan’s resolve, so what did it matter if he heard the man out?

  “You didn’t give me the chance to tell you how I feel about you. You didn’t give me the chance to tell you I love you.”

  If Richard had hesitated on the end there, the outcome might have been different but, as things stood, when Richard stepped back, leading Ethan by the wrist, Ethan followed. Dazed. Numb. Stunned. Willing for the time being to go where Richard led.

  * * * *

  “I never wanted to stay away. I needed to. I had a life mapped out for me and an education impossible to refuse. You did me a favour that day.” Richard paced around the room, as much as the cramped space allowed. “The day you tried to make me eat dirt. I was so…pissed at you. Pissed off and sad. I’d hated every moment of the boarding schools but that day…it made me see how vast the landscape was between us. The different worlds we’d come from. I stopped wanting to make friends with you.”

  “You’re not making me feel the love here.” Ethan leaned against a bookcase, mindful not to jostle anything at the risk of something perched up top coming down to land on his head. He’d been shocked but followed Richard all the way down the path to the staff house and, inside, to the study. Only there had Richard released his grip.

  “It wasn’t love then. Not quite. We were too young and I didn’t understand what I was feeling. You can’t say different.”

  After a second of thought, Ethan said, “No, you’re right. I suppose I can’t. I…cared, in my own way, but…”

  “We weren’t of an age to understand. By the time I knew I was gay I didn’t know you were and besides, I couldn’t have returned, not then. The fight…it changed my outlook. I can’t say I understood it with any clarity but I finally understood there was nothing for me here. Not even Saffie. She was at other schools. I decided if I couldn’t get out of what my parents had planned, I would use it to my advantage.”

  “So once you got your qualifications you didn’t return but went travelling and…what?”

  “Took more private courses. Saw how people survive with so little in poor countries. Learned about the environment first-hand and academically. I did things no one but Saffie knows of. I was going to come home full time in a few months, having put into motion over the last two years what I wanted to do, but…my father died. Though I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to alter my plans because of it and if anything—”

  “His passing made it easier. You got control. You’ve got an inheritance you can use to part-fund your new business.”

  “Yes. And I’ve been struggling with the guilt. Worried about Saffie. Concerned for my mother. I didn’t account for having you further complicate my life.”

  “Still not feeling the love.”

  Expecting Richard to act insulted or exasperated, Ethan simmered under the warmth of the man’s blossoming smile.

  “I didn’t say it’s a bad complication.” His beaming expression faltered. “The only thing I fear is you won’t believe me. Ethan, I swear to you, the moment I realised how I felt, I always wanted you to come with me to the new house.”

  Hired help. Fucking rent boy. His feelings must have shown on his face, for Richard stepped into his personal space, and despite Ethan trying to avoid the man’s hands, Richard wouldn’t be put off. Ethan went still, there being no place to go.

  “I wanted you to come live with me. Work for me, yes, but on a salary the same way you do now, and to have input in all the things I told you about. I envisioned you and your father helping but as it can’t be, I still want you to have the career I’m offering.”

  “I don’t need charity.”

  At least that made Richard let go and back up, but he still carried a determined look. “I thought you’d say that.” He reached into his pocket and drew out a folded sheet of paper, held it out.

  Not wanting to read, nevertheless Ethan took it. Instinct told him it would prove him wrong, demolish the argument and he only continued to argue because he needed a reason to leave, to make doing so easier. “What is this?”

  “I’ve financed the building of the house, but the company I’m forming has investors. This is one page of the proposed work list. One of the last. Look at the names I put down to help with the landscaping after the house was built.”

  Though he read, Ethan already knew he’d see both his and his father’s names on the list.

  “Read the date.”

  Again, no need, but he did that, too. “So what? I didn’t say you were a liar. Just because you intended to give us jobs doesn’t mean a damn thing.”

  “It’s before I even knew you were gay so at least you know the offer’s genuine. The job has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”

  Hard to argue with the evidence. “Fine. It doesn’t excuse everything you’ve done. Doesn’t excuse you not asking about my father while I sat and listened to you moan about your problems.”

  “You’re right, but the stupid thing is I was partly trying to avoid William. I kept out of the way because I didn’t want to let on until the time was right, and I didn’t want him upset if he didn’t like the idea of me and you.”

  “Would have scuppered your plans.”

  Richard appeared to consider. “Well, yes, if you want the brutal truth. I didn’t want you or your father to refuse because of sex.”

  “And if my father got onboard you knew I’d follow.”

  Some of the exasperation started to show. Richard stalked away the few paces the empty floor space allowed, flexing his hands, making fists, movements jerky. Time to take pity on him.

  “Relax. I’m pulling your leg.”

  Richard spun, eyes wide, mouth slack.

  Ethan offered up a placating smile. “I get the offer was genuine and made for the right reasons, but my father isn’t here anymore. I’m not happy you overlooked asking about him but…it’s been mad here, so I can forgive it in time. Still doesn’t mean the thing is for me to come work for you. Especially if you’re talking ab
out something more happening between us.”

  “Why?”

  “Money complicates things. So does work.”

  The man’s darting gaze revealed a calculating mind. “Does it help to know you won’t be working with me much? I mean, you won’t be the only one providing input and I’ll have to consider your suggestions with the same merits as anyone else. As for the grounds at my new place…once the eco-theme is decided, I’ll leave the work to you.”

  “And I come home to you at the end of the day?”

  “You’re making me want to take the job away.”

  If he wasn’t mistaken, a little frustration and anger crept into Richard’s tone. “Why?”

  “If working for me is that much of a deal-breaker then…” The hesitation made Ethan’s skin prickle. “Ethan, I’d rather have a relationship with you. At least to try for one.”

  “Relationship.” He tested the word. “Are you asking me on a date?”

  Colour rushed into Richard’s cheekbones. “If it’s what you want.”

  Ethan moved from the bookcase to the centre of the room where Richard stood. Rather than relax, his boss went rigid. “You look scared.”

  “I am. You make me fucking petrified. I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing and we won’t even stand a chance.”

  “I told you to relax.” Ethan leaned in and kissed the corner of Richard’s mouth. “I missed you for years. I know I walked out of your office in a huff but did you really think I found the idea of walking out of your life so easy?”

  Chapter 19

  “I hate to see the business floundering. Your father poured blood, sweat, and tears into the firm. I would detest to see it shut down. We all would.”

  Saffie glanced over, a sure sign she had heard enough. From the moment they sat down at the board meeting, everything to come out of the members mouths leaned toward the notion that if Sapphire Gardener took charge of their father’s company, they would be struggling within weeks as they’d done in the early days when his father started out. Was it because she was a woman? Time to find out.

  “If I had a brother and he was taking over in my place, would you have the same concerns?”

  For the first time, the men sitting around the table exchanged uncertain glances. The two women seated, other than Saffie and Ruby Gardener, smirked.

  “Well, of course…a younger…” Wilfred White the second most senior member of the board dithered over an unlikely explanation.

  “So, it’s an age issue?” Rich wasn’t going to give him time to answer. “In any case, whatever your concerns, I’m sure everyone here wants to listen to what Sapphire has to say. I know I do.” He didn’t so much as look at his sister. No reason to make the board think she needed his permission, but he’d told them they were going to hear her out.

  “Thanks for joining us here today.” Sapphire gave each member of the board a welcome nod. I’ve been looking back into how my father first got the company off the ground. He wore many hats as the saying goes, was the sole-founder and CEO, and didn’t love delegating work to others. I admire his dedication and work ethic, but I also know, as do many of you, how hard he worked. At times he ran himself into the ground. We all wanted my father to ease up, but he didn’t know how. Whether it had any bearing on his dying before his time, I can’t say, but I do wish he’d trusted those who had been in their positions long term to do a good job on his behalf.”

  A quick study of faces told Rich all he needed to know. Some thought his sister intended to pass the buck and sit back like a figurehead. No way did they know his sister if they believed that.

  “While some of you haven’t been allowed to take the reins as you should, I propose overseeing each department and noting where I can give you the opportunity to take on more responsibility.”

  Translation: as they had discussed, she was no longer going to allow department heads to coast through their jobs. A general rumble resounded around the room.

  “I am sure,” Saffie interlinked her fingers and folded her hands before her, “none of us intend to let my father’s business fail. Those who are doing an excellent job have no fears. Those who would do better elsewhere…well, I’m sure a shake-up will do nothing but good. My father’s skills lay with brand consistency. He helped many market their brands the right way and to maintain a high standard, not only with the face these companies presented to the public but through the products they sold. We appear to have taken a step back in this area over the last few weeks, but I intend to resurrect my father’s goals.”

  “And how do you propose to do that?” Wilfred White’s body language said he looked at a child who had no idea what she talked about. “What…qualifications can you bring on-board?”

  “I propose new software platforms, the details of which are in these folders.” Saffie gave Christopher Talbot a nod and he began to hand them out. “As for my qualifications, you’ll find those also listed. Many of you know and the rest shouldn’t be surprised to hear that Richard and I attended the best schools and had excellent tutors. If you’re talking certificates I have those. If you’re talking practical sense, I have that, too. And you’ll find I’m not your typical young CEO. I don’t think every object is shiny and therefore a great opportunity. I’m more cautious than I appear and want everyone to focus as a team, as a small cog and as a whole. You’ll find a full list of those and the skills of the new people I mean to bring onboard.”

  “New…” Wilfred White turned a little red whereas a few at the table paled. “What new people?”

  “My software team among others. Now, you’ll see there’s a sub-section dedicated to the kind of analytics we currently provide as part of the service, but we’ve fallen behind on what we actually offer our customers. The software…”

  Rich didn’t need to hear more. He sat back, and tuned out, until Wilfred White’s bluster interrupted his sister’s flow.

  “But this…These changes could take two years to implement.”

  Sapphire gave him a blank stare. “So?” She waited him out. “We’re in a good position to make these changes now to head into a more profitable future.”

  “Your father would never have gone for this much computerisation.”

  “Well, you don’t know because you cannot ask him.” Saffie stared at White unblinking.

  Before Rich needed to, Christopher Talbot piped up. “Actually, these plans were something of which George was aware. He and his daughter were still thrashing them out so they were in early stages and not worth bringing to the table.”

  “You’re saying he planned to bring…bring…” Wilfred White glared at Sapphire, gaze flicking up to her hair and back to her face. Though he didn’t say the words, ‘this creature’, Rich saw them in his eyes.

  “I’m not saying that. I’m saying there were discussions.” Christopher sounded tired and the meeting had only been going for thirty minutes.

  Time for Rich to speak. “And as he put me in charge of the firm, these changes are ones I can implement without collaboration.” No harm reminding them who remained the largest shareholder, though in time, he and Sapphire intended to either swap it around or arrange joint ownership.

  “But you’re telling us you wish to step down.”

  “I wish to step aside, not disappear.”

  Without a break, Sapphire added, “We’re already consulting, generating cash flow, we’ve got the relationships laid out. All we need to do is to finalise the right software, relaunch our technical team, identify customer needs and lay out the infrastructure. It’s all right here.”

  “All, she says.” Wilfred White was shaking his head. “We’ve got customers on our existing systems who are quite happy.”

  “For how long?” Saffie asked the same question that came to Rich’s mind but he let her speak. The important thing here was to put her in charge. “If you care to look at the records, you’ll see our current approach will soon fall behind demand.”

  Dutifully, many at the table opened the bookl
ets and started to read. Not White. He turned to Ruby Gardener. “You cannot be considering this?”

  Though their mother couldn’t stop their decision, she could influence the board. They’d spoken to her and given her the brochure to study. She had refused to speak to them about the contents, so they’d come to the meeting blind as to what her decision would be. While none here could axe their plans, neither he, Saffie, or Christopher wished to be dealing with the bullies in a playground.

  “I agree…”

  Rich closed his eyes but blinked them open fast. Not the time to make anyone privy to his emotions.

  “…with my daughter.”

  Now he struggled not to glance at Saffie.

  “I’ve read her proposal, consider it to be a good one. I’m sure, were he alive, George would be delighted. I also agree with her assessment—if we don’t change with the times we wither and…die.” Though she hesitated over the word, Ruby didn’t pause before looking at Wilfred White. “I know my husband would want us all to survive.” Her gaze went to Rich’s face. “To choose life.”

  Chapter 20

  The entrance hall didn’t look so impressive with a mountain of boxes obscuring the view. Best thing Rich set eyes on the moment he stepped over the threshold was Ethan. The gardener stood looking over several sheets of paper strewn across the large formal conference sized dining table, but broke off to run up the steps to the front door to help Rich with the cases.

  “Last of it.” With luck, the smile on his lips didn’t appear as uncertain as the gesture felt. Rich let Ethan take one case and followed him down the stairs to the hall with the other. “I’ll take them up in a minute.” He could have called movers but, truly, the few things he brought with him hardly warranted help, and had taken half a dozen trips. Some clothes, books…He’d lived with the fear on one of those return drives he’d discover Ethan gone, but he’d given the man space and not pressurised him to stay. What did they say about loving something and setting it free? Made one’s heart gallop, though.