Bookishly Ever After

by Isabel Bandeira

  I took a seat on the fallen log, watching to see if he would follow. My heart gave a nervous lurch when he actually did. “How is your cabin?”

  “I already had one kid mouth off to me today. You’d think eleven year olds would at least have some respect for us. My parents owe me.” He bumped me with his shoulder. “You?”

  I thought about our afternoon icebreaker with the campers. “They’re pretty awesome. One of the campers is even reading the same book as me.”

  “Oh, yeah, you read that teen stuff, right? I grew out of those things when I left middle school.”

  I bit back my automatic defensive response. So we didn’t have the same taste in books. “There are a few really good ones.”

  He shrugged. “You’re probably right. I’m just into more literary things, you know? Like when we read Catcher in the Rye last year. That’s probably my favorite book.”

  “Sorry, but I couldn’t stand Holden’s whining. Even if his sister did have an awesome name.” I tried to do a quirky half-smile, and hoped that it looked cute and not like I was having a stroke.

  He stared at me blankly for a second, then let out a short laugh. “Oh, yeah. Phoebe. Cute.” He took a long drink from his beer and shrugged.

  An awkward pause followed and I searched the trees for inspiration about something, anything to say. Talk about him, the Marissa voice told me. “You said you go camping a lot?”

  “I do, but it’s nothing like this. You guys are getting it easy with the cabins and bunk beds. I usually sleep in a tent, and once, we made our own lean-tos.” I opened my mouth to respond, but he pushed on, “In the middle of winter. I don’t know how you and Jacobs got to teach orienteering and firemaking while I got trailbuilding. He probably doesn’t know a flint from a lighter.”

  Something about what he said irked me. “Dev’s supposed to be really good at camping, too.” Nowhere was it acceptable to totally contradict the guy you’re trying to flirt with when he talks about the guy you’re not supposed to like, but it was as if the impulsive part of me just didn’t care.

  “Sorry, I know you guys are friends, but he doesn’t ever seem to take anything seriously except his music stuff.”

  “He does. I—” I stopped myself. Why was I defending Dev, anyway? I bit my lip to keep from talking.

  Kris turned to face me and looked me in the eye. “I’m different. I know what I want and go after it. I’ve been watching how you’ve changed yourself this year, and I think you’re the same as me.” He looked and sounded so confident.

  Not like me. My palms were sweaty, but when he took my hand, there wasn’t any of the electric nervousness they kept talking about in books. I didn’t feel a jolt like when Dev accidentally brushed past me in the cafeteria the other day, nearly making me drop my lunch tray.

  Kris leaned in, his shoulder brushing mine. “We’ve only hung out a few times, but I know you like me. You’re smart, a lot smarter than most of the people in our class.” He reached up to touch my cheek with his free hand.

  He was really close. I had to tilt my head up a little bit to see his face and was only able to focus on his nose. Anything Marissa-like flew out of my head. “I’m not that smart. I mean, we have a really smart class. Everyone’s so talented in their own way and–” I was babbling. Badly. But his hand felt weird on my face. And as long as I kept talking, he couldn’t kiss me. This was like something straight out of a book and all I wanted to do was bolt out of there.

  Marissa always felt like there was an irresistible force drawing her closer and closer to Cyril. Her skin would be all tingles and her heart would feel too small for her chest.

  Maeve would feel so warm when Aedan was close, it was like her skin was on fire—in a good way. He’d touch her hand and shocks would travels straight up her arm and down her spine.

  I felt…neither of those things.

  He stuck a finger against my lips. “You’re too nice to everyone, also. It’s cute.”

  He bent forward. Oh, God, he really was going to kiss me. Butterflies—no, ravenous clothes moths—took over my stomach. Did I even like him enough? I did a mental inventory of my hands, dropped my cup, and awkwardly put my free hand on his arm, just like Marissa did in the Mirrorfall scene. His chin brushed my cheek, the stubble pricking at my skin. Was he old enough for stubble? Why didn’t anyone tell me that it would feel like someone was trying to scrape your skin off with a wire brush? His eyes met mine, like he was asking for permission to kiss me.

  I tried to find the gold in his eyes that reminded me of Aedan, but that wasn’t enough to make me feel the same wound-up anticipation as when I read about Aedan looking into Maeve’s eyes. But maybe we just needed to start kissing and all the feelings would start rushing in—like when Nya and Lito first kissed in Other Side. I gave the tiniest of nods and then his lips were on mine. There weren’t any fireworks. My heart didn’t jump into my throat and I definitely didn’t have the urge to pull him closer, like Maeve and Aedan in the cave scene. In fact, it was kind of soggy. And sandpapery. And incredibly uncomfortable. I tried closing my eyes, but that didn’t help. My neck hurt from tilting up to meet him.

  But Kris seemed to like it. His hands slipped into my hair and he pressed his lips harder against mine. And when he tried to slip his tongue into my mouth, I pulled away as quickly as possible.

  “We, um, probably shouldn’t be doing this.” I resisted the urge to wipe at my lips. Maybe the books were wrong. Maybe all first kisses were miserably awkward. Those clothes moths were having a party in my stomach like they’d just found my best cashmere sweater.

  He took my hands into his. “I doubt any of the teachers will say anything. We’re some of Pine Central’s best students. We can get away with anything.” This close, he didn’t look so much like my mental picture of Aedan. Not enough gold in his eyes and I couldn’t help but notice how much that confident smile of his actually irked me.

  He leaned in to kiss me again and I arched my back away from him, like my body was doing what my apparently limited language skills couldn’t.

  “It’s not the teachers. It’s just that…”

  “She’s my girlfriend.” Dev came out of the woods with an expression on his face that was a cross between wanting to strangle Kris and disappointment in me. “Phoebe, I thought you said you loved me.” With the hood of his sweatshirt up and shoulders back, he looked like an avenging warrior, the tiniest bit like Aedan in the Glittering battle in Dublin scene.

  Kris jumped away from me like I’d suddenly caught on fire. “Whoa, I didn’t know, Jacobs. I’m not the kind of guy to mess around with other guy’s girlfriends. She didn’t say anything. Honest.”

  I stared at Dev, half-confused and half-relieved. The tornado had landed me in Oz and everything was topsyturvy. The corner of Dev’s lips quirked up the tiniest amount and everything settled into some semblance of sense. “Dev. I—” I was an awful actress, but adrenaline and confusion melded together into something I hoped was realistic. “—I can explain.”

  “And I’m getting out of here,” Kris said, just before reaching out to squeeze my arm. “If you break up with him and need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.” The confidence slipped back onto his face and he headed back towards the keg like nothing had happened. As soon as he was gone, I collapsed onto the log and let the utter mortification I’d been holding back wash over me. How much had Dev seen?

  The log shifted as Dev sat next to me. “Nothing ever bruises that guy’s ego, does it?” I didn’t answer and he pressed on. “You looked really uncomfortable, like you needed an out. I hope that was okay.”

  I pulled my face from my hands. “I…yes, thank you. I thought I liked Kris, but the more I got to know him…” And there was no spark, I added silently. “I didn’t expect—” I broke off again and took a moment to compose myself into a little less embarrassing of a state. “You two could have gotten into a fight.”

  Dev let out a laugh that had a darker edge to it. “Nah. I know Kris really well
. We’ve been scouts together since we were little kids. He doesn’t like being in situations where he doesn’t have the upper hand. Nothing fazes the guy.” It was easy to tell from his tone that he didn’t like Kris at all.

  “Even I believed you were going to rip his head off for a minute there.” I couldn’t seem to get a smile to go onto my face, so I settled for a half-cringe smile thing.

  It was impossible to see his eyes from the way he tilted his head in the hoodie. “I’m a good actor.”

  I moved my hands to my lap, weaving my fingers together and apart. “Thanks for looking out for me,” I said softly.

  “You’re my co-counselor. It’s my job,” he said, but the joking in his voice was tempered with something low and comforting.

  Afraid of what my face would reveal, I tilted my head back to look at the stars. Dev didn’t push, and we just sat there in silence.

  Golden series book 1: Golden PG 73

  He pulled her tight against him, his arms twined around her waist. She felt the fingers of his hand through the thin silk of her dress.

  Gold light wrapped around them, so bright that she had to close her eyes to keep it from blinding her. He bent over and his lips brushed her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

  “Don’t speak if you can help it when we’re in the court. I’ll speak for you. And don’t let them see you watching them.” The gold faded and they were in a hallway straight out of a fairytale picture book. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could make out a gold paneled ceiling and Celtic knot-work tapestries on the stone walls that would make the Book of Kells jealous.

  Everything that wasn’t stone was some shade of gold or green. It was beautiful.

  Maeve took in a deep breath and was about to say something when Aedan’s arms tightened around her. She blinked and saw another man coming towards them, dressed in Leprechaun green and brown.

  Like Aedan, he was tall, handsome, and built to be a warrior. But the predatory glint in his eye and the almost-sneer on his lips were a definite sign that he was nothing like her protector.

  “Aedan, good to see you with a conquest. Two centuries without companionship—we were starting to worry about you.” He stepped close to them, a challenge.

  “Times and people change, Connaught.”

  Connaught ran a finger down her cheek and she tried not to flinch.

  “Are you sure you know what to do with her?” He continued downwards, his fingers running through her hair and only millimeters from her body. It felt like a predator prepping to eat her. “This one is lovely. If you change your mind, I’ll take her.”

  Aedan stiffened, but his voice was smooth. “She’s mine.” He grabbed her arm and whipped her around to face him, capturing her cheek with one hand. Eyes burning equal parts passion and apology, he bent over, kissing her fiercely, possessively. She held back a squeak of surprise and relaxed into his kiss. He made her burn16.

  Molten gold rushed through her veins17.

  41

  My first co-counseling module with Dev was the most uncomfortable morning of my life. Neither of us spoke about the night before or what he’d said on the docks, but we had to work together. Theoretically. I could barely make eye contact with him. I grabbed the box of compasses and he gravitated to the fire pits, so we had silently sorted ourselves into two unrelated teams within seconds of getting to the field.

  It started out the same way for the archery module as we silently pulled the targets, bows, and arrows out of the storage hut and set up the field. I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye and matching my setup. But as I took a few test shots with my competition bow, his expression grew serious and he made his way over to me.

  Dev cleared his throat, staring down at an arrow he pulled out of the bucket. “Phoebe, I’m sorry about what I said yesterday on the docks. I didn’t mean to upset you.” His fingers pulled at the fletching and I was convinced he would destroy that poor arrow. “You know I was just trying to get you to join the fun, right?” I nodded ever so slightly and he stuck out his hand. “Truce?”

  I completely failed at not letting a smile slip while shaking his hand. “You saved me from totally embarrassing myself with Kris. I owe you an apology for dragging you into that. Truce, as long as you don’t try to force me onto another boat.”

  “Believe me, I don’t want to bring down the Wrath of Phoebe onto myself.” Dev picked up and twirled one of the learner recurve bows and pointed it at me. “Can I get a refresher? I haven’t touched one of these since the mod in gym last year.”

  I gently set my bow down on its stand, the teal riser and Niamh’s gold autograph shining in the sunlight. “Okay.” My hands fluttered in the air around the bow and his hands, not quite touching either. “Show me what you remember. Try to hit the target.”

  “Easy enough.” Dev grabbed the arrow he had been abusing out of the bucket and slid it onto the arrow rest.

  I watched him nock the arrow and cringed. “Wait.” When he squinted questioningly at me, I reached out to un-nock and rotate it into the right position. “The different color feather faces out.”

  “Oh, yeah. Forgot that.” He stared intensely at the target and started pulling back on the bowstring.

  “Elbow level.” I reached over and put my hand on his elbow, gently pressing down as he pulled his arm into position. I was deep into teacher mode but still noticed how his arm muscles moved and the energy that seemed to radiate through my fingers. My voice lowered to a soft whisper. “Anchor at your jaw.” I tapped the top of his hand and guided it down, my hand brushing his cheek by mistake. I pulled away quickly and moved my hand back to his elbow, glad he couldn’t see my face. “Pick a spot on your arrow or your bow to aim. Breathe.” I felt his arm respond and my brain catalogued the fact that we were now both breathing at the same time. “And release.”

  I stepped away from him, keeping my eyes on the arrow. It was definitely off-center, but at least it hit the target. Behind me, I heard Dev reach for another arrow out of the bucket. “That was awesome. Can I try again?”

  “Go for it.” I turned and busied myself with counting all of the bows we had laid out at the stations. He did not need to see how much that lesson had thrown me off. If I tried to shoot right now, my shot would probably be as bad as his.

  “Is this right?” I heard him call out to me.

  I turned and took in his awful position. Dev seemed to have forgotten everything I’d just corrected. “Not really.” I took a deep breath to steel myself and tried to look professional as I walked back to him. “Elbow?” Dev dropped his elbow, but it was still way up over his shoulder. I tried to force an annoyed sigh and positioned myself alongside him again. From here, I could smell the spicy-soapy Dev smell and our breathing was once again back in sync. Time slowed. I swore he could feel my heartbeat through my fingertips. I was in trouble.

  Once his elbow was in the right position, I gently pushed down his shoulder and leaned in a little to gauge his aim. The hair around his ear moved with my breath as I said,

  “Okay, now.”

  He released the arrow and right away his aim was much better than the last time.

  Dev dropped his bow and jumped away from me. “Shit.” He rubbed at a welt quickly reddening on his arm and looked at me apologetically. “Sorry.”

  I tapped at my arm guard. “It’s my fault. I should have made you wear an arm guard.” Happy to have an excuse to step back a little bit more, I almost backtracked all the way to the table where we’d laid out the equipment and pointed at the target. “But at least you got a bull’s-eye for it.” I watched as he glanced up and seemed to forget his arm in a nanosecond.

  Dev walked over to the target and poked at the arrow sticking out of the side of the yellow circle. “Huh. Watch out, zombies. I’m ready to shoot you back to hell.” He wiggled the arrow free.

  “Yeah, not that ready. And am I the only one who isn’t into Perfect Zombieism?”

  “Yes.” The kids from group three starte
d filtering into the clearing and he walked back over to where I stood. “So, why do you get to wear all that stuff and we don’t?” He gestured at my chest guard.

  I tugged self-consciously at the giant black triangle that covered my left boob. “Because I’m doing this every day for a few hours? If you start demonstrating, I’ll lend you mine.”

  He put up his hands in a stop motion and shook his head. “No way, the demos are all yours.”

  “It’s all about relaxing and becoming one with the bow,” I said, giving him what I hoped was a quirky-but-only-friendly smile. Something about being on familiar territory seemed to make me bolder than usual. I was like Maeve here, and I didn’t even have to try.

  He bumped me playfully with his side. “You’re, like, Zen-Master Archer Phoebe,” he said softly as the campers started gathering in a horseshoe shape around us.

  A feeling, like when Maeve first picked up her bow and landed every shot perfectly bubbled up in me. I clipped my quiver onto my jeans and winked at him.

  “Okay, guys, who wants to shoot some arrows?”

  I winked at him. Ohmigod, I was an idiot. He’d totally guess and I’d go back to being ego-fodder for a guy who had a girlfriend and definitely wasn’t interested in me. I buried my face in my sleeping bag and wondered if polyfill was thick enough to properly suffocate me.

  “Phoebe?” I rolled my head sideways to one of my campers shining a flashlight in my face. “Aren’t you going to change?”

  I blinked at the light and reached out to push the flashlight away. When the spots faded, I made out wild curls a lot like Em’s.

  “Giselle?” The form nodded and I sat up. “Yeah. Give me a second. I’m trying to climb out of the pits of my own stupidity.”

  “O-kay.” Giselle backed up and twirled her flashlight so it illuminated the cabin like a disco ball. “What happened?”

  Bethany Two slid onto my bunk, surreptitiously glancing over at where my book lay open on the windowsill. “We heard the archery thing was pretty awesome, so it can’t be that.”