by D. L. Kramer
Paki pushed the door open the rest of the way. The woman in the room turned from her position beside one of the bookshelves, her arms falling to her sides. Her eyes seemed shadowed and afraid as Paki stepped into the room.
"Leisl?" he asked.
She nodded her head, tears coming to her eyes. "It's you, isn't it?" she asked. "Paki?"
Paki nodded, relief washing over him. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, wanting to ask her so many questions but not knowing where to start. After a moment, he let her go.
"I was so afraid for you," Leisl said, looking up at him. "I saw that man bidding on you and I just wanted to scream."
"Well, I survived," Paki said. "More thanks to one of his horses than to anything I might have done."
"What happened?" Leisl asked.
Paki shook his head. "I don't think about the past anymore," he said. "If I hadn't been with him, I wouldn't have met Kile, and I wouldn't have had the chance to come here and learn what I did."
Leisl reached over to touch his cloak.
"You're one of them, aren't you?" she asked quietly.
Paki nodded.
"If you'd just said something when we were here before, I would have known who you were." Her eyes searched his. "But your friend did all the talking."
"Bear," Paki nodded. "He's my best friend." He paused, shrugging. "He likes to talk more than I do, so I let him."
Leisl smiled faintly. "You were quiet even when you were a baby," she said. "They...had to hurt our mother to keep father from tearing them apart when your name was chosen in the lot."
Paki bowed his head. "I don't remember--" he began.
"You were only three," Leisl said. "You were their first son after six daughters." Tears came to her eyes again.
"I was?" Paki asked. He remembered children, but not whether they were boys or girls.
Leisl nodded. "Father was hoping you'd grow up to be a smith like him." She paused to look at him. "You certainly inherited his size and strength."
"A smith..." Paki could feel the questions that were always in his mind begin to settle. He supposed that deep down, he always feared his parents sold him because they didn't want him. Now he finally knew that of all their children, he was the one they wanted to keep.
He knew without a doubt that he was sold to the trapper so he could meet Kile and come to the Mo'ani. Perhaps Leisl was sold so she could fill in the empty spots in his memories. She was the oldest, and would remember the most of all the children. He looked at her as a thought struck him.
"What was my name?" he asked. "My birthname." Here was the confirmation he knew he needed. Jaron had agreed that his birthname was forgotten for a reason, and it might have been to hide his identity from the Archbishop. Leisl would undoubtedly remember what that name was.
"You don't remember?" she asked, surprised.
"No," Paki answered. "The trapper always called me Paki, and that's all I remember our mother calling me."
"But," Leisl looked confused. "I was certain you'd know--"
"Please," Paki pleaded with her. "What is it?"
Leisl met his eyes. "Nahtan," she answered. Paki turned away, his heart pounding again. So it was true. He was Nahtan. "I thought you'd have remembered it," Leisl said from behind him. "I've heard it spoken here, and at Valin and at Garyn..."
"I didn't remember," Paki said quietly. "The name wasn't familiar to me at all." He felt his hands begin to shake and clenched them. He turned back to face his sister. "Why didn't you say anything about Nahtan being your brother?" he asked.
"No one would have believed me," she said, bowing her head. "I was married to a man who supported the Archbishop."
Paki nodded, knowing she was right. None of the Mo'ani would have believed her, and she probably would have been tried as a traitor and executed.
"I could hardly believe the things they were saying you would do," Leisl continued. "They say you're going to overthrow the Archbishop and claim the throne."
"I know," Nahtan nodded. "I've spent the last eight years hearing the same thing."
"Are you?" Leisl asked after a moment, her voice unsure.
Nahtan shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I know there are things in my head that weren't there a year ago and I can't ignore them."
Leisl nodded, trying to understand.
"Tell me about our family," Nahtan suggested, changing the subject. "What were their names?"
"Our parents' names are Michak and Valry," Leisl began. "Your other sisters are Shira, Amilyn, Breigh, Linah and Tykira." She paused for a moment, smiling at a memory. "Our mother took in sewing while the rest of us argued and played. I think they sort of favored you in the arguments, though."
Nahtan sighed, glad to finally know who his parents were.
"Why did they name me Nahtan?" he asked. He suspected it was because they didn't know about the myth. The Archbishop refused to let the name be said in any of the schools or seminaries, so unless his parents had traveled extensively to the northern lands, they wouldn't know about the prophecy.
Leisl shrugged. "It was just the name they chose," she answered. "I didn't know anything about it until I arrived here in the north." She paused. "I was so surprised when I'd hear your name, but you weren't anywhere around. It took me a while to find out why I was hearing it."
Nahtan nodded. His parents didn't know the story of Jensina's baby. They also didn't know about the prophecy born of that fateful night so many centuries ago. Zakris and Halona had done a thorough job of hiding him from Zared. Born to parents who would not know who he was, then sold to a trapper who would keep him traveling and his birthname forgotten. There was no way for Zared to find him while he was young, especially when Nahtan hadn't even known who he was himself.
"We'll go back to Edgewind one day," Nahtan promised Leisl. "I'm not a smith, but maybe they'll be happy knowing I'm alive."
Leisl smiled. "I think they'd rather have a son who was king," she said.
Seventeen - "You could stop this"
Paki and Leisl talked for some time. It was late afternoon when Paki remembered Rena and excused himself. Hurrying back to his room, he quickly washed and changed into clean clothes before going to the cathedral.
Meda and Rena were still sitting on the floor in front of the statues when he opened the door. Walking up to them, he could see that Rena was sleeping, her head on Meda's lap.
"How is she?" he asked, coming up beside them.
"She's settled some," Meda said quietly, looking up at him. "Are you all right?" she asked.
"Yes," Paki nodded. "I just got some confirmation that I needed."
"You spoke with your sister." Meda brushed Rena's hair back.
"Yes," Paki said. "Can I ask you something?" he asked.
Meda nodded.
"Why didn't any of you tell me who I was sooner?" He suspected he knew the answer, but wanted to hear what Meda would say.
Meda sighed. "You couldn't know," she said, speaking quietly so as not to disturb Rena. "If you had grown up knowing, and Zared was still trying to find you, he could have finished what he started in the lion's cave. You had to be strong enough to remember who you were before, besides being strong enough to confront him as a mortal." She paused, and when she spoke again, her voice was heavy with emotion. "I carried your broken body to my mistress once, I don't want to have to do it again."
Paki nodded, understanding. That was why he'd thought they'd kept it from him. "I'll take her now," he said. "Your legs have probably gone to sleep."
"Not quite," Meda nodded. "Another few minutes and they would have." She pulled her hands back as Paki gently slid his arms under Rena and lifted her up. She curled against him, barely stirring. Meda used the altar to pull herself to her feet.
"I'll let you get the door," Paki said, stepping off the dais. He let Meda pass him in the aisle.
Meda opened the door for him, then closed it behind them.
"Where are you taking her?" she asked, walkin
g beside him.
"To my room," Paki said after thinking for a moment. He'd take her to the stable, where it would be quiet all night, but there was no way to carry her up the ladder to the loft and he didn't want to wake her up. "She's slept there with me before and then I can watch her."
Meda nodded her head.
"Come and get me if anything happens," she said as they turned toward the keep.
"I will," Paki promised.
Meda stayed beside him, opening any doors along the way. When they reached his room, she opened the door for him. Paki took Rena into the room and gently laid her down on the bed. She barely moved except to curl up on her side.
"Can you watch her for another minute?" Paki asked.
"Why?" Meda asked.
"Because I have a feeling it's going to be a long night," Paki replied. "I wanted to go find something to read."
Meda smiled. "And you wondered what I'd resort to just to get you back into the library."
Paki sighed. "No, I didn't," he said. "I'll be back in a minute." Leaving Rena and Meda in his room, he left to head up to the library.
He reached the library and quickly picked out a couple of large books to read through the night. On his way back down, he found Bear sitting at the bottom of the stairs, Tiimu playing beside him.
"You disappeared," Bear said, pulling his bootlace away from the fox then looking up at Paki. His dark eyes met Paki's, but Paki could read nothing from them. Bear seemed to be exerting quite a bit of energy to keep himself in control, something that set off warning bells in Paki's head. Bear was never tactful.
"Rena's still not doing very well," Paki said. "I don't want to leave her alone for very long." He didn't mention his talk with Leisl. Whatever was bothering his friend, he didn't need to muddle it with everything else in his head tonight.
Bear glanced down at Tiimu then looked back up at Paki. "So what happened with your sister?" he asked. His tone was even and Paki thought just a little too controlled.
Paki leaned against the wall at the foot of the stairs, wishing Bear hadn't brought it up. "She told me about our parents and my other sisters," he finally said. "I guess I have five other sisters." He paused. If Bear was going to skip around whatever he was thinking, Paki would have to be the blunt one. "What's wrong?"
Bear shook his head. "I was just wondering," he shrugged, his voice tensing. "Did she say anything about your birthname?"
Paki hesitated. Bear was looking for something, that much he was sure of now, but for some reason, he didn't want to come right out and say it. Paki almost told him, but needed to get back to Rena and didn't have time for a long discussion.
"Yes," he answered, not wanting to lie to his friend. "Can we talk about this tomorrow? I really need to get back to Rena."
"Sure," Bear shrugged. "I was just on my way down to get something to eat when I saw you head up the stairs." He picked up Tiimu and stood. "That sacrifice must have been really hard on her," he added.
"It was," Paki nodded. "Just like it was on us."
"Made me angry more than anything," Bear said deliberately, turning toward the dining hall.
Paki sighed and walked quickly back to his room, not giving himself time to think of what was bothering Bear.
Meda left when he returned. Covering Rena with a blanket, Paki settled himself into the chair beside the window and started reading. When it grew too dark, he lit one of the lamps, then went back to his book.
Rena stirred several times and sometime in the middle of the night, woke up. Paki set his book down and moved to her side.
"How are you doing?" he asked when she turned to look up at him.
"Where am I?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
Paki smiled at hearing her speak. "In my room," he said. "I thought it would be easier to watch you here."
Rena nodded and rolled towards him.
"Can I get you anything?" he asked.
Rena shook her head. "Maybe in the morning," she whispered, closing her eyes again. "I should be better in the morning..."
Paki put his arm around her and lay down beside her. The exhaustion of traveling and talking with Leisl finally caught up with him and he fell asleep.
Paki woke first the next morning. Rena was still beside him, but had turned her back to him sometime during the night. Light shone brightly through the window, telling him most of the morning had passed.
Moving carefully, Paki rolled off the bed and straightened his clothes. Deciding his tunic was too wrinkled to be worn anywhere but the training yard, he changed into his last clean one. He almost picked up his cloak and sword, but decided to leave them where they were until he spoke with Bear.
"Leaving me already?" Rena asked from the bed as he moved the lamp back over to a small table. It had burned itself out during the night.
"I have to go talk to Bear," Paki said, coming to sit beside her on the bed. "Something was really bothering him last night and I need to find out what's going on."
"Do you think he knows?" Rena asked.
Paki considered it. Could Bear know who he was? He'd always been good at figuring things out. "He might suspect it," he admitted. "But I don't think he knows anything for sure." He studied her face for a moment. "You seem better," he noted.
Rena nodded her head. "I had to be near Jensina," she said quietly. "I needed her blessings to know everything would be all right."
Paki nodded. He didn't really understand, but trusted that Rena knew what was best for herself. "Come get me--or have someone find me--if you need me at all today," he requested. "I won't be doing anything that important."
Rena nodded her head and settled into the pillow. "Be careful with Bear," she whispered as Paki leaned over to kiss her.
"I will," he promised, getting up to leave.
A quick check of the training yard told Paki that Bear wasn't there. The other archers were practicing within the Stronghold that day, and none of them had seen him all morning. On his way back to the keep to look for him, Paki spotted Bear standing by the corral, Chase and Tyran both by him. He walked over.
"Must be nice being able to sleep in," Bear said, handing both horses halves of an apple. There was no sign of Tiimu anywhere.
"I was with Rena," Paki responded, keeping his voice even. "I told you I'd talk to you today about whatever's bothering you." He patted Tyran's nose when he nudged his arm. Something was still upsetting his friend and it concerned him that Bear would act so distantly toward him.
Bear looked at him, then shook his head. "How can you just stand here?" he asked.
"Instead of doing what?" Paki asked.
Bear shook his head again and turned back to the horses. He scratched Chase's nose, then patted him as he turned to walk back into the corral.
"I thought what we saw in Aarao made you mad," Bear said, turning to lean his back against the corral rails. "Doesn't it bother you that the girl you're in love with was so disturbed by it she hasn't been able to speak?"
"You know it made me angry," Paki said. "And you know I've been worried about Rena." He could feel the tension building between them and didn't like where it was heading.
"Then do something about it!" Bear demanded, turning to stand in front of Paki. His dark eyes flashed angrily as he stared at him.
Paki felt something inside him give way. The pressure had been building in him since the sudden resurgence of memories in the Wardsman's Woods, and now the confrontation with Bear pushed his tolerance to the breaking point. What did his friend expect him to do? March up to the Grand Cathedral and challenge the Archbishop? He knew now that Bear knew who he was. How he found out, he didn't know, and didn't particularly care. Anger surged through him at Bear's demands.
"I can't yet," he hissed. "Don't you think I would if there was any way?"
"Some prophecy," Bear snorted. "You aren't any different than anyone else around here. The only thing special about you was your stallion."
"Don't, Sewati," Paki warned. Bear knew the love Pak
i still had for the huge plowhorse.
"Admit it," Bear taunted. "You loved that damned horse because he had all the guts you didn't--"
Paki's swing connected with Bear's jaw, spinning Bear halfway around. A jarring pain burst through Paki's back as Bear tackled him, slamming him against the corral rails. Bear landed several punches before Paki twisted free. Tensed reflexes waited for either an opening or Bear's next move.
Paki blocked Bear's next swing by grabbing his wrist, then turning to drive his elbow into Bear's stomach, hoping to knock the air out of him. Bear turned instead and drove a fist into Paki's side, then another to the back of his head. The hit to his head wasn't hard enough to do more than annoy him, but the hit to his side burned. Twisting, Paki pushed Bear back enough to get into the open.
Moving away from the corral, Paki sensed Tyran's anxiety and ordered the horse to stay where he was. This was between him and Bear, and he didn't want the horses brought into it.
Paki forced Bear back against a post by the corral. Driving first one fist then the other into Bear's stomach, then tried to move again before Bear could get hold of him. He grimaced when Bear caught his arm, then his hair. Pushed chest first into the post, the rough wood scraped against Paki's skin, cutting into his chest even through his tunic. Anger and frustration burned through him, drowning out Bear's hits.
He felt his arm twisted upwards and his determination exploded. He would not allow himself to be pinned. Paki kicked backwards, hitting Bear squarely in the ankle. The momentary distraction gave him the time he needed to twist free.
Paki ducked as Bear made another grab for his hair. An unsuccessful grab for Paki's shirt ripped the woven tunic across the back of one shoulder as Bear managed to land a punch on the side of Paki's jaw.
Paki hit Bear with a series of rapid punches to his stomach. Swinging upwards, he hit his chin again. He was pulling back for another swing when Bear's left fist appeared in the corner of his eye. Seeing it too late, Paki turned with the swing, but not enough, and was hit squarely by his right eye. Pain burst through the side of his head and he stumbled to one side, giving Bear a chance to hit him again.
