by D. L. Kramer
He didn't remember feeling any pain from the second punch, and couldn't even be certain if he'd been hit with it. His stomach, ribs, back and now his head all ached. His anger, however, wouldn't let him give up. Watching for an opening, he caught Bear's next swing with his hand, matching his friend's strength as he straightened up.
Bear's chin was already showing the bruise from Paki's first hit, and one of his lips was split. Paki could taste the blood in his own mouth, and knew that his right eye would be swelling shut soon. He caught Bear's other hand when it swung for his ribs, holding that fist, too.
"Why don't you just admit it?" Bear said through clenched teeth, pushing against Paki with all his strength.
Paki met Bear's eyes, his left wrist grinding angrily under the pressure. "I told you, I can't do anything yet," he returned. Bear's hands shifted quickly in his, and he grabbed Paki by the weaker wrist. Paki tried to twist it free, but Bear pulled him forward and punched him squarely in the stomach again. Feeling the air rush from him the same time his wrist was wrenched painfully, Paki dropped to his knees, relying on his instincts to keep him from being knocked out. His body moved without any conscious thought, rolling to the side to avoid Bear's kick.
Grabbing Bear's ankle with his one good hand, Paki twisted and pushed backwards, forcing Bear onto the ground beside him. Dragging himself to his feet, he could tell his friend was almost too tired to keep going. Paki's own body ached and his head hurt terribly. His left wrist throbbed excruciatingly with the pounding of his heart. He trembled with the effort of not kicking Bear while he was on the ground. Holding his wrist against his stomach, he muttered a curse as his fingers started to go numb. If Bear ruined his use of the hand...
Paki leaned against the post as Bear rolled to his knees, then pulled himself to his feet. Fearing his wrist broken, Paki flexed his fingers carefully and was relieved to see them move. Finding any permanent damage would have to wait until the feeling returned, if it ever did.
"You could stop this," Bear said, trying to catch his breath. He was also shaking with adrenaline, but not as badly as Paki.
Paki knew immediately Bear wasn't talking about their fight. "I can't," he said, not bothering to keep his voice down. "Why do you think I haven't done anything yet?"
"I think you're afraid to," Bear answered, gritting his teeth as he wiped his lip with the back of his hand.
"The only thing I'm afraid of," Paki said evenly. "Is that I'll let everyone down."
"How can you let anyone down?!" Bear demanded loudly. "You won't admit anything to anyone!"
"What do you want?" Paki yelled back, straightening up and taking a step toward Bear, his wrist and swelling eye forgotten. "Do you want me to stand here and tell everyone I'm Nahtan?" He felt his anger begin to rise in him again. "To tell them I'm the one they've been waiting three generations for? I'm the one they've dedicated their lives to?"
Much to his surprise, Bear immediately backed down. He looked around at the huge crowd their fight had drawn, then back at Paki.
"That's exactly what I wanted you to do," he said, his voice even, though his eyes reflected a dozen emotions.
Paki stopped, suddenly aware of everyone around them. Kile stood with Adie and Mo'ani while Gharald and Janec stood by the apprentices. It seemed as though every person in the Stronghold was gathered around the corral. Most stared at him with wide eyes while a few--like Tavish--nodded their heads as if they suddenly understood something that was troubling them.
Paki turned to look at Bear. He was pulling off his filthy tunic, but the look on his face told Paki he was still upset. Apparently getting Paki to admit who he was in front of everyone was one way to satisfy his own anger.
"You bastard," Paki said.
Bear shrugged. "I did what I had to," he said evenly, trying to brush some of the dirt from the ends of his hair. "You were having a hard enough time admitting it to yourself. I didn't know when you'd get around to telling everyone else." His eyes met Paki's for a moment and he narrowed them slightly, shaking his head.
As low voices began to drift from the front of the crowd to the back, Paki looked around again. Aralt stepped forward and walked to stand in front of him.
"We should have seen it," he said. "The way you treated people, no matter how they treated you."
"That's just common sense and decency," Paki said, bracing his wrist tighter with his right hand. It burned as the feeling started coming back to his fingers, but he found some relief in the pain. Hopefully it meant there was no permanent damage. He forced himself to concentrate on Aralt instead of on Bear.
"No," Aralt shook his head. "You should have turned Liyol and I in."
"There was no need for it," Paki said. "There's no reason one mistake should ruin the rest of someone's life."
"So what are you going to do?" Bear asked from behind him.
Paki turned to look at him. Bear's eyes told him he was enjoying his friend's discomfort. "First," he said. "I'm going to go get cleaned up and try to save my wrist. Then, I'm going to have to sit and come up with an explanation for Rena. What I do then depends on everyone here."
"Ye're wonderin' if we believe ye?" Kile asked, stepping forward.
Paki looked at him. "Why should anyone believe what I just said?" he asked. He could see no reason why they should.
"Ye're right," Kile nodded, walking towards him. "What would make us think an easygoin', sensible lad like ye could possibly be our promised king?" He pushed his cloak back behind one shoulder.
"There are signs in the myths," Adie supplied from her spot beside Mo'ani.
"Aye," Kile nodded, stopping beside Paki. He looked at Aralt. "Ye've read the myths, what's one of the signs?"
"He'll talk to animals," Aralt supplied, stepping back out of the captain's way. "And not just horses like the Dwellers would teach him."
Paki opened his mouth to say something, but Kile held up his hand and turned to one of the apprentices. "Another sign?" he asked the young man.
"He'll come to his army with no name?" the apprentice supplied.
Kile nodded. "Any others?" he asked the crowd in general.
"The power is in the name," Janec said. "And because it is so, he will never impose a name on any creature or person."
Kile looked surprised for a moment. "I see we're goin' to have to debrief ye some more," he said to Janec. "Ye've held a few things back."
Janec smiled and shrugged as quiet chuckles moved through the crowd. "I listened to my son quote these things for years, remember?" he asked.
Kile nodded, then looked expectantly around the crowd.
"What about Jensina's symbols?" someone asked. "Nahtan's supposed to be marked with one of them."
Paki raised an eyebrow at Kile. So far as he knew, he had no birthmark or anything else that might meet that requirement. "It looks like I might have an argument after all," he said.
"No, you don't," Bear said deliberately from behind them.
Paki turned to look at him. "I don't?" he asked. He was almost afraid of what Bear would say next.
Bear shook his head and pushed himself away from the corral. Walking behind Paki, he seemed to study something for a minute, then looked back at Paki's expectant face. "I'd apologize, but I've already ruined this tunic." Taking hold of the torn edge, he ripped it the rest of the way off. "Three of your scars from your master's lash connect," Bear said. "They match one of the symbols on the captain's cloak."
Paki didn't have a chance to respond before Kile turned him around, looking at his back.
"I'll be damned," he said. "It does."
Paki pulled away from Kile and turned to look at Bear. "I think you've helped enough already," he pointed out.
Bear shrugged. "We're almost even," he muttered just loud enough for Paki to hear before returning to sit on the corral fence.
Paki met Bear's eyes and shook his head slightly. He looked back at the crowd. "I don't know what to think or believe anymore," he told them. "All I know is there are
a lot of things jumping into my mind that weren't there before. I also know a lot of people seem to have known I was Nahtan from the first time they met me. Among them Mo'ani and some of the Dwellers." He paused to wipe at his eye. As it swelled, it wouldn't quit watering. He figured he didn't have much time left before it was completely closed. "I can't--and won't--ask any of you to follow me anywhere, but there are things I know I have to do."
"Like what?" one of the Mo'ani in the crowd called.
Paki paused to look at Bear. His friend was watching expectantly, clearly still enjoying the position he'd put him in. "Three months ride to the east are the Mowik villages," he answered. "There's an altar in one of them that needs to be torn down, and I'll do it with my bare hands if I have to." For all his anger at Bear's tactics, he could understand why he'd chosen that route. Paki had to admit if left on his own, it might have been years before he was willing to admit to everyone who he was. Solving the problems in Bear's village was the one way he could think of to tell his friend he wasn't going to hold the fight against him.
Bear's look of surprise was replaced with another smile as he nodded his gratitude.
"What about here?" another Mo'ani warrior asked, stepping forward.
Paki turned to look at him. "What happens here will be events that immediately precede the fall of Herridon." He looked at Mo'ani. "And that can't happen while the Archbishop can access his garrisons and supply lines. Herridon has to be completely cut off." His eyes caught movement back by the keep and he saw Rena hurrying toward the crowd.
"That's what your allies are for," Mo'ani said. "Your allied holds are all in positions to help you secure those lines."
Paki nodded. "Later," he said. "I have some fast talking to do right now." Turning to Bear, he smiled faintly. "Next time you want me to do something, try suggesting it to me first." He pulled his ruined tunic over his head as Rena pushed her way through to him. The crowd began to break up, though many were hesitant to leave. The scars across his back held their attention as he turned. Paki could only guess which ones matched the symbol on Kile's cloak. The last time he'd counted them, he had over a dozen easily visible scars from his master's lash.
"What happened?" Rena asked, lightly touching his face.
Paki caught her hand. "Let's just say Sewati has been his usual subtle self this morning," he replied. He knew Rena would worry, especially about his eye and wrist, and wanted to assure her as quickly as possible that he would be all right.
Rena turned to Bear and started to say something, but Paki put an arm around her back and turned her toward the keep.
"It's okay," he told her. "I think it's better this way."
"You think what's better this way?" Rena asked, obviously concerned.
"That everyone learned at once who I am," Paki responded. "Bear just chose the best way he could think of to do it."
"By beating you?" Rena's voice rose.
"Don't worry," Paki assured her. "He's not in any better shape." With any luck, Bear would hurt even more than Paki did.
"Your eye," Rena reached up towards it, but she didn't touch it.
"Bear's jaw," Paki returned. He opened the door to the keep with his good hand, letting it fall shut behind them.
Back in his room, he was forced to sit still while Rena carefully cleaned the dirt from his few cuts. The skin around his eye was intact, but the bruise would easily cover the area from his brow to his cheekbone.
"You shouldn't have let him start a fight with you," Rena said, ripping a piece of cloth into long strips.
"I hit him first," Paki admitted. There was no reason to deny the truth, Paki told himself, realizing he was referring to more than one truth.
"At his goading, obviously," Rena returned. Paki winced when he had to lift his arms for her to wrap his ribs. "I think you'll live," Rena said as she tied off the last strip. "Though you're probably not going to want to for a couple of days." She took another strip and tightly bound his wrist.
"I'll be fine," Paki assured her. Standing up, he pulled out the wrinkled tunic and slowly pulled it on. "I need to talk to Mo'ani right now, though."
Rena nodded her head, watching him. "I'll probably be up in the library," she said.
"Don't let Meda force you into working if you don't want to," Paki told her. She seemed to have recovered from her trauma, but he couldn't help worrying about her.
"I won't," Rena smiled. "It helps to have Meda to talk with." Standing on her toes, she gently kissed him, then opened the door for him.
Paki turned toward Mo'ani's office as Rena walked to the library's stairs. Knocking on the door, he was immediately told to enter. He carefully pushed open the door and came into the room.
Mo'ani sat behind his desk, studying a map spread out in front of him. "I was wondering when you were going to find your way here," he said, looking up.
"Eventually," Paki shrugged, standing in front of the desk. His wrist still burned, drowning out most of his other pain.
"You look wonderful," Mo'ani leaned back in his chair.
Paki tried not to smile, and wasn't sure if that hurt more than the actual smile would have. "I can only hope Bear looks half this good," he responded.
"Oh, he does," Mo'ani assured him. "He probably won't be able to talk for a couple of days."
"Good," Paki nodded. "It was his mouth that started the whole thing." Paki found a certain amount of justice in knowing his hits to Bear's jaw were that effective.
"Do you realize what he did today?" Mo'ani asked him.
Paki paused, then shook his head. "Besides reminding me he's stronger? No."
Mo'ani smiled faintly. "He earned his cloak this morning," he pointed out.
Paki considered it, then nodded. "I had to disarm you and Janec," he said. "I guess it's only right Bear had to beat me into the dirt."
"Actually, what did it," Mo'ani's voice was thoughtful. "Was that he got you down first."
"Not for lack of trying on my part," Paki responded.
Mo'ani shook his head. "I suppose I should have let Kile break you two up, but I couldn't bring myself to."
"I think it was something Halona wanted to happen," Paki decided after a moment. "So what does everyone think?"
"I think most of them realized it the same time you said it," Mo'ani said slowly.
"I know the feeling," Paki nodded. Hearing Alsynder's voice had brought about the same reaction in him, and again when Leisl told him his birthname.
"Just like you, it might take some time for it to sink in," Mo'ani continued. "But in the end, I wouldn't be surprised if they all stayed."
"What about the Mo'ani in the other holds?" Paki asked.
"That's up to you," Mo'ani answered.
Paki nodded. "I think I'd like to talk with all the lords or ladies," he said after a moment. This wasn't the sort of thing to send riders to tell. "But I think we all need to meet somewhere at the same time." He pressed his wrist and hand against his hip, trying to stop the throbbing.
"Where?" Mo'ani asked.
Paki looked down at the map on Mo'ani's desk and realized it was quite old. A faint red line drew his attention with his one good eye. He had to blink a couple of times to read the name written within the marked boundary.
"Why not where this really started?" he asked, looking back to Mo'ani. "Is there any part of Herridon Hold still standing?"
Mo'ani looked at the map and sighed. "One side of the keep was still intact," he answered. "At least it was fifty years ago."
Paki nodded. "If it's still standing, I think we should meet there," he said. "Then there's less chance of problems with the church guards interrupting."
Mo'ani nodded. "I guess I'd better go looking for that trail," he said.
"Bear and I can help," Paki offered. "And Adie might have a good idea where it is, too."
"Yes, she might," Mo'ani agreed.
Epilogue - "But you are my best friend"
Paki knocked on the door to Bear's bunk, then opened it when no one
answered. He wanted to talk to Bear, but not when his bunkmates were there. It was dinnertime, and Bear hadn't shown up in the dining hall, so Paki guessed he was here.
The room was dimly lit and he could make out Bear's silhouette lying on the bed. A shadowed hand reached over to turn up the lamp.
"I forgot how hard you can hit," Bear said, lying back on the bed again. His words were mumbled and Paki guessed he wasn't able to move his jaw very much without a lot of pain. It didn't bother him; his right eye was still swollen shut. Bear wasn't wearing a tunic, and Paki saw his ribs were as tightly bound as his own.
"Well, I know how strong you are," Paki commented, walking to sit on the bunk beside Bear's. "Why do you think I kept trying to get out of your way?"
"I'd apologize," Bear said, shrugging. "But I wouldn't mean it, so I'm not going to bother." He turned to look at Paki. "Why the hell didn't you trust me enough to tell me?" His voice told Paki how angry and disappointed he was.
Paki sighed and bowed his head. "I was afraid you wouldn't be my friend anymore," he admitted, looking up. "You and Kile were the first two people I was ever able to trust. I don't want to lose that."
"You know me better than that," Bear slowly pulled himself up to sit on the side of the bed. "I'm your friend, Paki. Not some bastard who's going to pay a few half coppers just so he can beat you for the next seven years."
"I know," Paki said, turning his head away. He had been afraid of ruining his friendship with Bear by telling him, and now it appeared he had endangered it by not. "I didn't know what to do," he said after a moment. He looked back at Bear, meeting his eyes. "There are all these things whirling around in my head all of a sudden. You've devoted your entire life to Nahtan. I was afraid it would disappoint you to find out I was him."
Bear raised an eyebrow and smiled faintly. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "I'm the king's best friend. I've got an advantage other people can only dream about."
"I'm not the king," Paki said, then paused. "But you are my best friend."
"Oh, you'll be king," Bear nodded. "If I have to carry you into that castle and nail you onto the throne."
