The Fire Within (The Fire of The Soul Series)

by Racquel Kechagias

  "Alright Meg, please tell Astoria that I will be down there in a little while." I wait until Meg has disappeared again, before I turn to Kayden. He has been watching me this whole time, his back facing the flames as he sits upon the floor.

  "I believe that Astoria has intended for all of us to be present this morning, but if you appear with me it would look quite scandalous. What do you think we should do?" I ask, seeking his moss green eyes out, needing reassurance in this very moment.

  "We have done nothing wrong Anna, and we all know that you are Victor’s bride. There is nothing that can change that, whether we have spent the night together or not. You love him, and I cannot love you as anything more than a sister. I will walk with you down to the dining hall, and I will appear after you, to make it seem that we were not together." His eyes are downcast as if he is upset about something, but I cannot understand what exactly. I want to reach out to him, but I know that I cannot, what comfort could I spare him in a matter that I could not begin to comprehend?

  I get up and put on my petticoat, in hopes that it will aid me against the cold that I know is waiting outside of this room. Kayden is up on his feet and opening the door for me before I can say a word. We walk down in silence to the dining hall, I am lost in my own thoughts again, wondering if Victor is okay, hoping to whatever God there is that he is still alive. The journey seemed much shorter with Kayden, as if time wished to slip away from us.

  Breakfast passes quietly, it seems that Astoria only wished to have us there for no particular matter at all. There is no conversation, except for small chit chat and it isn't until after breakfast - which consisted of bacon, eggs, English muffins and sausages - that Astoria speaks up.

  "This afternoon Anna, Augustus and I will begin your training. We believe that it is essential that you learn how to control the gift that is shared between the bond of Victor and your souls. This morning however you are free to spend your time however you wish. Though may I suggest you do something peaceful, you will need your strength for this afternoon." That are the only real issue that is mentioned and there is nothing that I can say against it. After I have eaten heartily of the meal that has been prepared for us, I excused myself from the table, to seek Kayden out, who had not joined us for breakfast.

  I search high and low for him, I search every inch and cranny of the castle, and I asked everyone that I pass if they knew where Kayden had disappeared to, but no-one knew. I decided to continue my search outside, however instead of going right toward the gardens I take a left down a very long and narrow path, toward what seems to be the stables, in hopes that this is where Kayden has disappeared to. As I approach the stables I am gratified with an answer to my question, through the rough grunts of physical exertion. I see him when I enter into the room, thrusting and jousting, swinging the sword left and right, trying to strike down his mechanical opponent. His shirt is carelessly tossed to the side, giving me a good look at his naked torso which glistens with the sweat of his labour.

  I stand there for some time, simply watching Kayden delivering blow after blow on his mechanical opponent. It takes him a while to realize that I'm standing here, watching him. There is a slight redness to his cheeks when he sees me, though I cannot tell if this is from exhaustion, or from embarrassment. I want to know what he's thinking at that moment when he sees me, but before I can ask he says "There's a pile of clothes for you to put on over there, and a stall further back where you can get changed. We will begin as soon as you're ready." He waves his hand in the general direction of the clothes, and I pick them up making my way toward the stall that he mentioned.

  It is unusual for me to be wearing men's clothes, even though they do fit me. It feels unnatural to be dressed in the garments, and I wish that I could take them off again, so that I may be in my dress, and appear as a woman before Kayden, rather than this thing that is in between. However with a blush on my cheeks, I go back out into the open area where Kayden is waiting for me. He starts to grin when he sees me, as if a cheeky thought just entered into his mind.

  "Don't you dare say anything, these are what you told me to wear," I say accusingly, blaming him for looking so ridiculous.

  "I was not going to say a word Anna, besides you look beautiful." There is still a grin on his face when he says this, and I try not to huff at his comment. How can he believe that I look beautiful, whilst I am dressed like a man?

  Kayden indicates a selection of weapons on the wall, and looking at all the sharp objects it terrifies and yet excites me. There is such power behind these weapons, a mighty object that can make grown men fall to their knees. There is one object upon the wall that I am instantly drawn toward when my eyes land upon it; a sword, the hilt is made of a white wood, with bat like wings angling downward, the sword is thin and is sharp on both sides, along the sword is the words 'Sanguine quasi aqua'. It is this sword that I take down from the wall of weapons, holding it firmly within my hands.

  "That is an excellent choice Anna; the sword - as you can see - is very light and was specifically made for a woman with a regular stature. This sword in particular was made for Queen Sinistra herself. She used to love play-fighting with King Phillip." There is a subtle sad note within his words as if he were remembering a distant memory, but he quickly shakes it away and directs me to the mechanical dummy. "Today you will be practicing on the dummy. I will show you a few simply jousts and blocks, this should be enough technique for you to defeat the dummy at the beginner’s level," Kayden says, before raising his own sword again. He teaches me the correct method of how to lift the sword without creating risk of injuring your arm, he teaches me how to lunge, thrust and block and somehow he seems to make this violent 'pass-time' into beautiful art. It's fascinating watching him going through the motions and techniques; it's unbelievable how passionate he is about the sword and the art of self-defence and offence. I try to mimic his actions and after long hours of doing it repetitively against the mechanical dummy, Kayden finally allows me to practice on him. I'm worried at first that I'm going to hurt him but he reassures me that I will do no harm against him. It is challenging to figure how to attack a dummy, when you are only new at all of this, but it is even more so against another living being, against someone that can attack you back.

  "Anna just remember what I've taught you, and you will be fine," Kayden says again, his lips making a soft smirk as if all of this is entertaining to him. "I will not be attacking you; I will only be defending myself. You need to, however, make a fatal blow to win the round. If you are able to get one in then we will call it a day." The smirk is only growing as he talks and I lift my sword, gently as if the sword is an extension of my arm, I thrust it out toward Kayden. He blocks me easily, and I start to move around, dancing around the circle. Kayden just follows me with his eyes and grins; he is starting to really get into this. I fake a lunge but quickly make a second lunge after it, trying to confuse Kayden. However, he is prepared for it. I do not want to get too close to his sword, for if he was a real opponent he would not hesitate to stick his sword into me.

  I make my third attack, and I come up real close behind him, placing my sword directly against the point where his heart is. He drops his sword when the point of mine is pressing against him, and I move away as soon as he has dropped his weapon. I drop mine too, and watch as Kayden turns around. I see that he has not broken a sweat throughout our entire training session, where I am sweating so badly that there should have been a stream formed from it all.

  "How did I do Sensei?" I ask Kayden. He smiles softly at me, there is an uncovered emotion in his eyes, something that makes them shimmer in the dimming light. I can't understand it though try as I may.

  "You did very well Anna. With time you will become just as good as any other warrior," Kayden says. The sunlight is lighting up his light-brown hair, like a halo masking his face in shadows, but making him appear like a fallen-angel at the same time. His hands are just barely holding onto me at the arms, as if he needs my strength to stand.
Kayden seems to be standing on a cliffs edge, and I can't understand why there is something about this moment that seems unusual, so out of the ordinary that it is strange. "Anna," He breaths my name, the slightest whisper on the air. It seems as if he is about to say something when Meg walks into the stables, coughing loudly enough so that when I hear her I jump away from Kayden. The moment is gone with Meg's appearance.

  "Anna, Lady Astoria has demanded your presence in the ball room. She is waiting to begin your training. Captain Kayden I'm sorry to steal Anna away from you, but this is very important." Meg is furious, I can tell that she is almost steaming over, and I know that if I don't follow her now than I'll be in so much trouble, not just from her but Astoria as well.

  I turn to apologize to Kayden, but the shimmer in his eyes have gone, the strange mood he had been in has disappeared as well, and he appears to be his usual self, as if nothing happened at all. He shoos me off and I quickly follow behind Meg.

  Meg refuses to talk to me, although I try to talk to her several times. She does not seem to be in a happy mood whatsoever, and I have no idea how to soothe her, how to make her talk to me again. She has never been upset with me in this manner, never angry or impatient or demanding, and now that she is I don't know how to fix things with her. The journey to the ball room is over before it has even begun, and Meg is walking quickly away from me. I enter into the room and find that Astoria, Augustus and Baron are all here. There is also another present, my father, and I hesitate for a moment when I see him, before walking over.

  "Anna, today we will begin to train you in the sense of overcoming your unusual powers. Victor, before he left, told us that your power has been triggered out of anger; as was his before he mastered it. I will tell you now that you will not master it in a day, or a week for that matter. It will be a long and excruciating process," Augustus says, his roughly gravely voice putting more urgency on his words than if it had been coming from his wife. My eyes never fail to leave my father, who is kneeling on the floor buckled in chains, which Baron had a good grip of within his hands.

  "What is he doing here?" I demand, I cannot stand seeing him here, and I turn away from the monster to look up to Augustus; a man I knew that I could trust, no matter what happened.

  "He is here to help you with your training. Baron suggested the idea. His exact words, I believe were 'The dirty little worm deserves all the pain she can dish out, and besides he will be able to make her angry more so than any of us could.'" Augustus and Baron are grinning as if them figuring this out is something to be pleased about. Instead it only makes me angry, that these two grown men could act like such little boys.

  "Anna, your mother is suffering because of you. You think that you are better than both of us, but if you were you would have let us go. Instead you keep us prisoners here, you let these vampires torture us and feed from us. You are no better than I daughter, in fact I may have brought you up to be even worse than I." My father is grinning from ear to ear, I can see that he is telling the truth. There are bite marks all over his neck, and on his naked torso which is exposed. I believe that the lower class vampires would feed from them but what of Astoria, Augustus and Baron? Would they have feed from my parents, simply to satisfy their thirst, or to torture them in the worst way possible?

  "How many times must I tell you, that I am not like you at all father, you are a despicable man. Who tortured me just because you could, who killed my friends simply because I stepped off of the line that you had drawn. Perhaps the vampires do feed on you, but you deserve it. After all that you've done, you deserve to burn in hell." I spit at him, my words burning like acid within my mouth. I can feel my flesh beginning to prickle, as if cold fingers are running up and down my skin. Everything around me is starting to go out, my mind closing off to the outside world. All I see is darkness; there is no light, no hope, and no life. My father deserves to die, to burn in hell, and who better to send him there than I? I can hear the screams of my father, who withers and jangles within his chains like a worm on the floor. Like a bird descending upon its prey, I get down onto my knees in front of my father. His eyes look up to mine, and I can see my own reflection within them. I can see how this is affecting me; my veins within my arms have become black lines, raised so high that they appear to be drawn upon my skin. My hair whips around by an unseen wind. My eyes are glassed over, there is blood running from my ears, my eyes, my nose and my mouth. There is so much blood that it begins to pool at my feet, and even though I notice myself within my father's teary eyes, I cannot bring myself to care.

  "You tortured me because you believed there was a devil within me father, now today you see proof that there is at last. Do you like seeing your daughter this way? Are you going to beg for mercy? I think the real question is whether to spare you or to end your life, letting you live gives me another opportunity at this." I sneer at him; my words are choking up on the blood. I hear footsteps echoing from the doorway, and I turn to face the intruder, and find that it's Kayden. My heart rate slows; I can feel the blood flow in my mouth come to a slow and then a stop. Kayden looks hurt, terrified and somehow I - the real me - recognizes this, my vision blurs and everything blacks out as I crumble to my knees.

  In the blackness I see faces, Kayden's, Victor's even Sadar's. Each of them accuse me of something, and although I try to get closer to them, they all just keep moving away. My efforts are futile and I'm screaming within my own mind, for my power has turned against me, I am being tortured from my own pain. Drowned in blood, killed on the battle field, bitten to death by vampires, ripped apart by werewolves. Each of these is vivid nightmares, the most horrific, painful deaths that anyone could imagine. Somehow although I'm all alone, I feel arms around me. I smell the humble scent of oak, and the ranched smell of sweat. The arms that surround me, that carry me I realize belatedly, are strong though not unbearably huge. The arms are comforting, the manly smell is comforting and I find that the nightmares are slipping away, that there is nothing but darkness and the sweet smell of oak.

  I wake up in the darkness, a single fire burning within the fireplace. I automatically know the room; I've been in here so many times recently that it has a simple familiarity to it. Sitting in the master chair next to the fire is Kayden, his soft brown hair coming to life in the firelight. He is holding a bottle of liquor, and I realize that he must have been the one who had been carrying me. I check the state that my body is in, and I see all the dry blood that is on the white shirt that I am still wearing from before. The shirt itself instead of being white is almost completely covered in dark blood; I want to scream from the horror of it all but if I do, I don't know how Kayden would react.

  "I was meant to keep you safe and I failed. Seeing you like that was unbearable, I had no choice but to bring you back here, where I could watch over you, where you would be safe," Kayden whispers into the fire, and for a moment I think he is talking to me but he goes quite again, and I release the breath that I had been holding. He had not been talking to me at all, but rather to himself about me, in a half-hope that I would hear him.

  I sit up on the couch and walk over to him, as he takes another swig from the half-full bottle. How depraved a man must be to fall into this state, how miserable is he to drink himself into a stupor. I walk in front of him, and take the bottle out of his hands, his eyes lock on mine, and for a moment we both just stop and stare at each other.

  "Kayden, why are you doing this? Why drink yourself into a stupor over me. Victor may have charged you to protect me, but we both know I can protect myself now. You cannot do this every time I get hurt, or come to my rescue if I'm in danger. You are a warrior but not my guardian. Please, promise me you will stop doing this," I whisper, he leans closer toward me, his eyes dark, even within the light of the fire. There is a soft curve to his lips and he tugs at a loose strand of hair that hangs limply from the bun that sits atop of my head. He doesn't say a word, he only follows me with his eyes, and I cannot help but watch him in shock. He leans in quic
kly - the hand that had been playing with my hair capturing my cheek and the other hand following its twin’s motion - and captures my lips with his. For a moment I relax into the kiss, it is strong and powerful, yet soft and yearning as well, for a moment I forget all about Victor and just enjoy this moment. However there is a tugging at my soul which tells me that this is wrong, that tells me to remember my love for Victor. This tugging notion within me, gives me the strength to push away from Kayden. There is a shocked look on his face, half from the fact that I pushed him away, and half from the fact that I actually kissed him back, and then he starts to grin like a little boy. I slap him hard across the cheek, and turn away from him, how dare he do this to me, how dare he do this to Victor!

  "Anna wait, I can explain," He calls out after me, but I don't stop walking, I don't stop to wait for him or to listen to him. I cannot believe he would do such a thing. I storm down toward the dinning hall hoping that it would be around supper time. I find Meg setting the plates out in the hall, and I take a seat at the dining table. Astoria and Augustus come in a few minuets later and we all sit at the table.

  "Anna are you alright? What happened today, it wasn't your fault that you lost control. We should have never brought your father into the training sessions until later on, and not at all without your permission," Astoria quickly apologizes, and Augustus simply keeps quiet, he knows he is in the wrong here, and he still allows his wife to stand up, and take the blame for him.

  "Astoria it is quite alright, what happened today was not your fault, and my father had that coming for a long time. If you don't mind, I would prefer not to discuss this at this very moment," I say politely, Astoria says that she understands and falls quite as well. Kayden comes into the room, and sits across from me, so that I have no choice but to look at him. The idiot is still grinning although he does try to hide it.