Turn To Stone (The Stone Series Book 1)

by Ariana Rose

  He’s real.

  I’VE SEEMED TO form a bad habit where she’s concerned. I wake up early to watch her. Her breathing is slow and even. Her body didn’t change position in the hours we slept. She’s still facing me, just inches away, and she never let go of my hand all night. Was it because she knew I needed that connection to get through my first night here? Was it because of something going on inside her? I feel this kindred spirit thing with her. It’s magnetic. We are similar creatures in many ways. She keeps everything so closely guarded. Like the story behind that scar. I know a man did that. How is that even possible? This woman is intelligent, beautiful, and selfless. What could anger someone so much they could… I can’t even finish that thought. But I do know. I know too well how someone can be like that.

  This girl…this beautiful girl. I move that bit of stray curl away from her face, so I can see the scar. She deserves better than that. Not just for all the kindness she’s shown to me, but just because she does. I wish I could show her the other side. Fuck! These thoughts I’m having. They are familiar. This is so fast. It feels wrong but every shade of right too. She wants to know me and does, even though she doesn’t fully realize it yet. I’ve shared the heavy with her and she’s still here. Maybe I can trust the light too. I lean in and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. In that moment, I have an idea exactly how I want this day to go. I reach over for my cell and place out a couple of texts that gain nearly instant responses. The plan is set. I hear a small sigh, and my focus returns to her face where I’m met with her shining eyes.

  She smiles. “You look happy with yourself.”

  “I’d say more along the lines of rested and content. Did you sleep well?”

  She curls into my chest and sighs again. “I did. I really like it here.”

  “I need to thank you, Alexandra. Coming here needed more courage than I had. You made it possible. I feel closer to her, and you, because of it.”

  “Julian, we are still getting to know each other. However, there is one thing I know. You need one person in your life that will allow you to deal with whatever you need to deal with, in the way you need to deal with it.” She laughs a little. “Well, that made no sense whatsoever.”

  “I understood you perfectly.” I trace my finger over her smile.

  “Want me to make you some breakfast? You have to be hungry.”

  I match her smile. “I would love that, honestly, but I need to ask you a very important question first.”

  “What’s that?” she quizzes.

  “Are you afraid of water? Can you swim?”

  She bursts out laughing. I’d be offended but as she lays a series of featherlight kisses on my chest, that feeling evaporates. “I’m sorry, Julian…I’m sorry. It’s just… I’m from Minnesota. You know, Land of Ten Thousand Lakes. If I can’t swim and ice skate, I’m pretty screwed.”

  “So, then the answer would be yes, you can swim. Awesome.” I can’t help but laugh with her. It seems to be the only time I do anymore. “I have a plan for the day. Are you game for anything?”

  “That sounds either ominous or really freaking fun,” she says.

  “Let’s go with all those F words.”

  “Ha ha! Funny guy!” she mocks me a bit. God, I love that she can dish as good as she gets.

  I lay back, resting my head on my arm, facing her. “You’ve put up with a lot the last twenty-four to thirty hours. I’d like to give us both a break and if you’ll let me, I’d like to share another thing with you not many people know.”

  “What is it, Julian? Now you’ve got me curious.”

  “One of the good things my father did for me is pass on his love for sailing. Since moving to Georgia, I haven’t done it much.” I turn my focus to the ceiling. “It’s the most calming thing to be out on the water, giving up a bit of control to the whim of the wind. I made arrangements for us at a marina on the way to Tybee Island for a sailboat rental. It’s about twenty minutes from here. It’s on the small side from what I’m used to, but it will make it easy to get the rust off my skills.”

  “I can’t think of a better way to enjoy the sun, the coast, and you. I don’t think I have the proper clothes for that, do I?”

  I take her hand and weave our fingers together. “Well, I have a sweatshirt you can wear. Your Chucks will do, and your life vest will be covered at the marina. I think all your checks in the con column have been countered.”

  “It’s nice to see you happy, Julian.” I feel a little squeeze on my hand. She’s pure joy.

  “Can you we ready in an hour? We’ll pick up a picnic lunch on the way for after. I may just have to turn teacher while we’re out there today too.”

  I think that may have scared her a bit. Her voice quivers with a, “We’ll see.”

  “All right. Ladies first on the shower. I will not be accused of being a hot water hog. I have enough other titles already.”

  She slides from bed and grabs her toothbrush. “Yes…you really do.”

  She enters the bathroom and shuts the door. I get this pang of anxiety the minute she’s out of sight. I’m terrified at what I’m feeling around her. It’s too easy.

  ***

  Being forced to drive was the one thing I hadn’t considered. My knuckles are white over the steering wheel. I hope my sunglasses are hiding the panic I feel deep in my chest. As the horrible movie plays over and over in my head from the night that changed my life forever, I feel a soft hand reach over the top of mine. She lightly draws a pattern over my skin.

  “Julian, I could have driven. You don’t have anything to prove to me or anyone.”

  I keep my eyes steady on the road. “You don’t know the area and I do. I’ll be fine.” I feel like my voice is sterner than I intended.

  “I’m very good with taking direction. I do it all day too, remember?”

  Her small joke makes me relax a bit. “Right… I do know. We’re nearly there.” We edge toward the top of the bridge. “Look off to your right.” I feel her attention shift as we drive over the water. I feel the wind instantly. That sea air envelopes and captures every good thing…mostly freedom.

  “This is nothing like at home,” she says.

  “Not even Lake Minnetonka?” I smile, and even take a quick second to catch her nearly instant response.

  “How do you know about Lake Minnetonka?” she asks.

  “You’re not the only one with keen investigatory skills, Alexandra.”

  ***

  I’ve never worked with this marina before, but I certainly will again. The boat they chose for us was immaculate. The wood was freshly redone. The tiller color was a stark contrast to the pure white of the deck. The tiny galley beneath was perfect. I’m truly excited about this adventure.

  “I can work this boat by myself, but I may need your help. If I give you a few simple things, would you be willing?”

  “Sure I will!” Her confidence is one her most attractive traits. It’s not one of arrogance. It’s one of self-assurance.

  “Alexandra, I’m going to need you to sit on the starboard side.” I motion for her. “We have to zigzag to gain, and I don’t want you caught. Once we find a good spot, we can drift or anchor. Fair enough?”

  “Aye!” she salutes me, followed by her gorgeous laugh.

  “Lex…did you just pirate me?” I return her joy.

  “I may have or a may not have, sir.”

  A pure sense of humor… I’ve forgotten what they look like, not only in a ‘partner,’ but even when I look in the mirror. We zigzag out, chasing the marginal breeze we’re naturally getting. It’s not the worst I’ve tried but the challenge is ever present. She looks wonderful…glowing. Her face is turned into the wind with the sun on her in such a way she shines.

  “May I be really honest with you right now?”

  Her attention focuses back to me. “You’ve been holding back to this point?”

  “No. That would be useless with you. I wanted to say…” I want to tell her again how beautif
ul she is. I want to tell her more than thank you. I want to tell her I’m falling hard and fast for her. But I can’t. I can’t do it. It feels like I’m cheating, even though this is the best I’ve felt in months.

  “You wanted to say…what, Julian?”

  Dammit! “I wanted to say you look like a natural out here. I hope you’re enjoying yourself.”

  What are you doing, asshole?! She’s been nothing but kind. She’s given of herself to you. What are you worried about? Quinn? Father? She’d beat them hands-down, just like…stop comparing.

  Stop it!

  ***

  We are mostly silent in the bustling pub that is McDonough’s. It took an amount of coaxing to even get him to go out. He wanted to have the water and wind soothe him today, but I feel it did the opposite. I thought this dinner would be a happy medium. This was somewhere we could walk. There would be enough going on so that he wouldn’t feel the constant pressure to talk. Something tells me he hit his max.

  There was a karaoke night in progress. Music felt like a seemingly easy enough distraction. We both sip on our local brews and listen to the parade of artists and non-artists to grace the stage. Once our amazing burgers have disappeared, I notice a picture of an older gentleman on the wall behind us.

  “Julian, do you know who this is?”

  “That’s Billy. William Lee. He owned this place and opened nearly a dozen bars total in Savannah. He passed away just before Christmas. He was larger than life. When I began coming here years ago, he sat down nearly right where we are with me, and we talked for hours. We talked about his time in Korea, his family, children, and life. He always had a smile and time for everyone who came in.”

  “I’m sorry, Julian. If it’s too hard, we can go.” Every time I try and help, I feel like I make things worse.

  “No Lex, it feels good to be here.”

  I hear them say they need more singers for the evening and ask for the “next victim,” as they called it. I take Julian’s hand.

  “Want to give Billy a serenade? Sing with me.” The words just fly out. What did I just do?

  “You sing?” He sounds surprised.

  “I’m not as good as you, but dogs won’t run away howling.”

  He pulls the brim of his hat down a bit with a hint of a smile. “Let’s do it.”

  I take him by my shaking hand and lead him up to the small stage. I whisper my selection into the DJ’s ear.

  “A little cocky, aren’t you? What if I picked something you don’t know?”

  “Good thing I’m a quick study, Alexandra.” He gives me one of the microphones and a nod for the DJ, letting him know we’re ready.

  The music starts. I chose “Run” by Matt Nathanson with Jennifer Nettles. He looks at me with eyes that only I can decipher. This song is what I would say to him if I had the courage. I really hope it’s the same for him. From the night I heard him sing, when I nearly hair sprayed him to death, I wanted to hear our voices blend the way our bodies had and have.

  The hard beat of the song begins. He seems to morph into another person until the first lyric comes. His eyes raise to mine like we are the only two in the room. Each word seems to be a piece of our story. His voice caresses my soul in a way I didn’t think possible. At the chorus, I find my own voice and we blend like we were meant to make music together. Our eyes never leave each other, even when the room starts to take notice of our battle. It’s a battle to come together. It’s a battle to stay apart. It’s yet another force of nature. The more we sing, the closer we get. We are literally running toward each other. As we build and build, the words become an open confession to the world there is more to this than either one of us is willing to admit.

  The music fades into the background as the applause takes its place. I can hardly hear it over the pounding of my heart. His fingers tilt my chin up.

  “For Billy…” he says.

  “And us,” I mumble.

  I think those words resonate with him. He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. Without another word, he lifts me off the stage, the bill is paid, and we are out the door. We hit the sultry night air and dimly-lit street.

  “Julian, I…” Before my thought is even spoken, his lips are on mine. They have a need I recognize. It’s the same as the night he first came to me. He presses my back against the cool brick exterior. I give in. I always do. How can I feel what I’m feeling for him? I pull the ballcap from his head and tug on his hair. I think we would have devoured each other out in the open, but our bubble is burst by a group of friends walking by. One of the girls catches Julian’s profile and stops. I feel her nearly register who he is, and I know neither one of us is ready for the intrusion or the questions that would surely follow. I pull away enough to whisper what I need.

  “Julian… take me home.”

  I see him finally register our surroundings, the people nearby, and our mutual need to be totally alone. He takes my hand, then a step back, and gives me a smile. The more time I spend alone with him, the more I see what I missed initially. He has so many masks he wears. The smile I saw the day he helped me up was the one he shows to the world. It’s cordial but guarded. The smile he just gave me was not that. It was one of knowing he will not have to be anyone other than who he is, no matter what that might look like. It’s a smile of contentment. It’s a smile of… love.

  ***

  I think he took us the long way back on purpose. The night was nearly perfect, and we both knew that when we woke in the morning, we’d have to make that drive back to Atlanta. Back to the real world, back to where we couldn’t be free like we are now.

  As the sun begins to set, the garden artists start packing up for the day. The groups of children that had littered every playground were thinning out. The park was becoming ours. His stride slowed the closer we got to the middle of the park and the beautiful white fountain. We saw remnants of a wedding. The coordinator was still directing the cleanup when she stopped me. She asked if I would like a small bouquet of roses from the arbor. She said she’d rather see them be enjoyed by someone than simply recycled. I accepted with a smile. The smell was like the icing on the cake.

  I could feel him just watch me. I don’t know if he was lost for words or simply soaking in the moment like I was. We came to the rod iron enclosure surrounding the fountain and let the mist of the cool water wash over us. He bent down and took a small purple flower from one of the bushes surrounding the fence line and laid it in the palm of my hand.

  “They say that this park design was based on the European tradition of a promenade and this fountain was believed to be a copy of one found in the Place de la Concorde.” He picks another matching flower and plays with the petals softly. “Have you ever been to Paris?”

  I spin the bud slowly in my hand. “No, I haven’t. It’s kind of a dream for me, though. It was my mom’s favorite city. From the time I was little, she always said she would take me one day. That never happened.”

  He rises to his feet at a slow pace, studying me. He tucks his flower behind my ear. “You’ll get there one day. Je promets.”

  Stunned a bit, I respond, “You speak French?”

  As if it was planned, music blends into our bubble once again. This time, it’s a street artist making his accordion sing like we are on the Champs Elysees. He pulls me in, holding me like I’m the most precious thing he has, and that smile of his returns. “Oui, un peu.”

  My cheek presses against his hand and my eyes close. This just reached perfection.

  ***

  This girl. I forget everything when I’m near her. I forget where I am, who I’m conditioned to be, and that I’m not ready for her. She makes me ready. She is a pure force of nature that draws me in. I remember a conversation that I had with my mother after Lainey died. She was the only one who tried to console me, truly console me. It wasn’t an act. It wasn’t pretense. She knew what it meant for me to be without her. The one thing she said was for as awful and heartbroken as I felt in that moment, it would
n’t always be like that. She couldn’t promise me when or for how long, but she knew that there would one day be another who would see me how I wanted to be seen. She told me how much she loved me and how much joy I gave her. She said I was her light. Lainey was my light and I didn’t understand how it would ever be anything but dark again, until this girl.

  The evening is so perfect. We get to the base of the stairs outside the brownstone and I halt her ascent. “Alexandra, could we sit on the stairs for a bit? I’m not… I don’t want to go in yet.”

  She looks back at me, the flower still tucked where I left it. “If you don’t want to go in, we don’t have to.” She turns to sit on the top stoop.

  Still standing at the bottom, I look up at her. “I think we should talk before things go any further.”

  “That sounds ominous.”

  “It might be. I don’t know how you’ll react. I’m not sure what I’m going to say.” I take a seat next to her. She hands me one of the pale roses from her bouquet.

  “Just take it slow and start at the beginning. I know that’s easier said than done.”

  “Yes Alexandra, it is. I owe you an explanation.”

  “An explanation?”

  “About Quinn. I’ve been more open with you about Lainey than I have with nearly anyone in a long time but, I feel you’ve been holding your questions at bay where Quinn is concerned.”

  She looks down, focusing on her flowers. “The two of you confuse me for many reasons.”

  “I’m sure.” I take a deep breath. “You know she is Lainey’s sister, her younger sister.”

  “Yes, I read that.”

  “We have spent a lot of time together since Lainey… since she…”