Turn To Stone (The Stone Series Book 1)

by Ariana Rose

  “Babe, love complicates things in the best ways. Who cares if it’s complicated? If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth working for. I see how he looks at you. The way he’s watching us now from the bar. He hasn’t stopped watching you.”

  I hold Connor tight. “He’s watching us right now? What do you see?”

  “I see the way he keeps you in his line of sight at all times. I see how you light up when he’s near you. Honestly, Lex, you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now. This is a beauty that can only come from being at peace.”

  “I want to tell you you’re wrong. I really do, but I don’t think I can. I’ve tried to stop it. I’ve tried to keep it at a distance. I can’t.”

  “Why would you want to? Don’t you deserve to finally be happy? Lex, if he makes you that happy, tell him.”

  “Connor, if only it were that simple.” I rest my head on his shoulder as we sway.

  “I know simple isn’t generally a word in your vocabulary, but why not step out of your comfort zone. What if he’s worth it?”

  What if he’s worth it. Those words resonate so deep inside of me, it’s frightening.

  ***

  I continue to sip on a drink at the corner of the bar. The historical value of this old train-depot-turned-reception-hall is quite staggering. I find myself content just to observe the vastness of the room and how it dwarfs Alexandra. She is spinning on the dance floor. I watch her completely in her element, and it is confirmation of who she truly is. She is this nearly perfect being who can love without condition or motive, other than that of complete desire to be loved in return.

  I finally feel I’m away from all the drama that the week brought. I’m with her and only her; at least I think so. Yet still, here today, she seems tense. She’s looking over her shoulder for what might be. Hunter could be near. She warned me he might be, but she wanted to come anyway. I know it was important for her to watch Connor marry. As I watch them together on the dance floor, it’s quite familiar. It’s Lainey and Troy 2.0. The way he holds her and regards her, the way she is so protective of him.

  I had the sense that coming here, for both of us, was going to be either the best decision or one that might break us. Us. There’s that word again. How easy it rolls through my mind and I accept it.

  I feel a presence near. “Buy you a drink?”

  I turn to see who asks. He’s not facing me, but his profile, the tailored suit, the whiskey neat in his hand… I’m face-to-face with her worst nightmare.

  “It’s an open bar for invited guests. You can keep your money. Hunter Mackenzie, right?”

  “I see my reputation has preceded me. By the way, I was an invited guest, not a mere plus one,” he quips.

  I turn and full-on face him. “I’m going to say this one time and one time only. You are to stay away from Alexandra. Are we clear?”

  “I don’t think you’re in any position to give orders, pretty boy. I will be talking to her. She has a lot of explaining to do.”

  My voice raises. “She has explaining to do? She has nothing to say to you. That should have been made clear when she left Minneapolis two months ago.”

  “No one leaves me. She needed to learn her place and was almost there, until those busybody friends of hers twisted her mind.”

  My hand grips my drink so hard I think the glass may shatter. “The only one twisted in this scenario is you.” I lean closer to ensure he is the only person who hears me. “I know who you are. I know what you’ve done. I know the scars you’ve left behind, physically and emotionally, on Alexandra. She is getting better. You will leave her alone. You will never see her or talk to her again. Do you know your place now, or do we need to step outside and discuss it?”

  Hunter steps nose to nose with me. “That is a battle you know you will lose.”

  I feel a trembling touch at my elbow. “Julian, please… let’s go. It’s not worth what it will cost to do this.” I look down at the petite hand. Alexandra.

  His voice in the next moment makes me sick. “Hello, Lex. You look wonderful.”

  “Don’t you dare talk to her!” I growl.

  “Easy there. I wouldn’t start barking orders that you can’t back up. Just try pushing me one more time and see what happens.”

  Without thinking, I take his lapels forcefully in my fists. “If this wouldn’t ruin the night for Connor and David, I would end you right here right now, you cowardly fuck! Next time a scar is left, it will be on you.”

  I let go of his lapels, shoving him back a few steps. His lips curl up and he laughs. “The definition of irony right here. She proports to leave me because of my violent tendencies but then you not only create this scene, but I hear tell that you’re a murderer besides? Oh, the hypocrisy.”

  Alexandra’s delicate hand that was once trembling is now full-on quivering near my side. I hadn’t realized she stopped touching me. She steps in between us and before I can shut him up, she rises. “Don’t you dare speak to Julian like that! You could only hope to be half the man he is!”

  He winks. “You know that I’m more than half the man he is.”

  Before I can react, her petite hand curls in a fist and cracks his nose. Her full weight is behind it. There was so much in that one punch. It was all the rage and sadness he gave her but then there was the defense of me. She didn’t hesitate.

  He stumbles back a step as a trickle of blood appears on his upper lip. Alexandra winces as she shakes her hand out. I can tell she instantly regrets the scene she’s caused. Without words, I take her hand in mine and we weave through the crowd toward the fresh air of the atrium of the reception hall. Just before we make the door, Connor stops us.

  “Are you both all right?” he asks.

  Alexandra tears up. “Con, I’m so sorry. I ruined your reception.”

  He smiles. “The hell you did! That was the best wedding gift you could have given me. Get out of here. I will distract his punk behind until you and Julian are safely away. Go.”

  “God, I love you.” She hugs Connor tight before we slip away.

  Once we’re alone, I begin pacing. I have never felt this type of rage before. I’ve been truly angry, but this is so different. My anger is usually reserved for my father. This was the same type of animal but a whole different scenario. In my silent stalk, I glance over at Alexandra. She has her arms wrapped around her and I can see she is visibly shaking. I can feel her fear and shock. I close my eyes and begin my counting. Three… Two… One…

  When I’m done and open my eyes again, I ask, “Alexandra, are you all right?”

  “Am I all right? Are you seriously asking that question right now?” she asks.

  “Of course, I’m asking. Are you all right?” I take off my suit coat and wrap it around her shoulders. She quickly shoves it off, back into my hands.

  “I’m not shaking because I’m cold.” She takes a step back away from me. “I’ve never seen you that angry before nor have I been that angry before.”

  “Alexandra, I wanted to end him where he stood. The man who… to you… It’s nearly more than I can simply ignore.”

  “I thought I was going to be sick when I saw both of you together. I wasn’t just terrified for me. I was terrified for you. You don’t know what he’s capable of. If he’d hurt you…” Her voice trails off.

  “You were worried about me?” I ask.

  “I was until I got near you, then…”

  “Then what, Lex? Say it.”

  “You scared me. I’ve never… That’s a side of you I didn’t know was there. I didn’t like it.”

  Her admission and the realization of what I’d done hits me like a ton of bricks. She was afraid for me to be discovered and be injured but more than that, in that moment for her, I was no better than he was.

  “Alexandra”—I slowly reach my hand out for her cheek— “I’m not like him. I could never be. I wouldn’t hurt you for all the world. I need to hear you believe that before we leave this spot.”


  Her eyes slowly rise to meet mine. They are glazed over. “I believe you. I do. The things Hunter said to you… don’t think about them.”

  I take the last couple steps, closing the gap between us, and hold her in my arms. I hope I never see that look in her eyes again at my hand. Ever.

  ***

  I don’t like this silence between us. There’s never been this kind of silence before. This ten-minute drive feels like a lifetime. I catch glimpses of him every now and then, as a freeway light catches his image. I still see the anger, but his blinding rage is gone. Mine, on the other hand, is still boiling just below the surface. I can’t believe I punched him. I’ve never hit anyone in my life.

  I also see a sadness, but I’m not sure what the root of it is. Is it because of his reaction to Hunter? Is it for me, because of my reaction? I’m not sure I like either option, really. I turn into my dad’s driveway, switch off his car, and go to exit. Julian doesn’t move. I close the car door and turn to face him. I was hoping he would break the silence, but I realize quickly that will be up to me.

  “Julian? Please, let’s go inside. I want to forget this even happened.”

  He looks down into his lap, at his hand and the ring I gave him in Savannah. “Alexandra…” He searches for the right words. I don’t know if there are any. “Alexandra, I want to tell you how sorry I am about tonight. I never want you to have to fight for me like that. The anger you saw has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. His actions then and now make me feel an anger that I thought I’d never feel. You attacked your dragon to protect me.”

  “Julian, I needed him to know I was not his to abuse anymore. He was not going to speak to me like that or come after you in any way. It felt good to stand up for myself with him finally. I don’t think I could have done it without you.”

  “Alexandra, there are things you don’t know. I scared myself in my own rage.” He takes a beat before he says, “We’ve spoken of my father before.”

  “Yes, I remember. He’s ruthless, selfish and is part of the reason why you have a hard time trusting anyone.”

  “What I didn’t tell you about is his issues with anger. He needs to manipulate everything and everyone. When he doesn’t have that, he lashes out. Growing up, I was his usual target. Sometimes, though, it was my mother. When I got old enough to have my own ideas and fight back, I began to protect her. He would have this condescending way of speaking, and he would poke and poke to try and gain a reaction. I became a master at not giving it to him. I knew he would consider that a win.

  “Tonight, Hunter provoked those same things in me. Only this time, I felt myself crack. I let him push my buttons then I, even if for only a second, became my father. I wanted to tear him apart for everything he’d put you through, and I saw all the red I’d ever felt for my father. They are so similar. All the hatred came pouring out of me. I was disappointed in myself.”

  His confession hurts my heart. “Julian, I accept your apology. You let him get to you. You were triggered by your past. If anyone knows what he is capable of up close and personal, it’s me. I know how he operates. My fear was that you would do something you couldn’t take back or would undoubtedly have to explain. I don’t want either of those things for you. I care too much about you for that. That’s also why I stepped in.”

  I can see a wave of relief wash over his face. His shoulders relax a bit, his jaw becomes less tense. I begin to see my Julian again. My Julian.

  “Lex…” He pauses again, only to link his left hand with mine. “Alexandra, I can’t protect you in the way I want. I think you’d agree it’s very complicated. But… your father can. I think you need to tell him everything. If I’ve learned anything in the short time I’ve spent here, you are his life. You are more than his daughter. You are his world. I wish I had what you have. I know it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do besides leaving him two months ago. At the end of the day, though, I think with him in your corner, you will feel safe.”

  I look down where we are linked and make a simple confession of my own. “I’m terrified. What if Hunter would try and hurt him, personally or professionally? What if my dad is ashamed of me? I couldn’t take either of those things.”

  “Alexandra, do you trust in the love your father has for you?”

  “God, Julian, there isn’t much in my life I trust more than that.”

  “Then tell him. He will love you just the same as he does right now. If you want me to be by your side while you talk, I will stay close. You held me up in one of my darkest moments. Let me do that for you. Please?”

  The amount of care and concern Julian is giving me is disarming, but in the same breath exactly what I need. “He’s not going to take this well at all.” Now it’s my turn for the awkward silence.

  “Take a deep breath, Lex, and we will do this together.”

  “Together.”

  MY ROOM IS starting to get lighter. I’m in that state of sleep where I’m aware of my surroundings but don’t really have the will to open my eyes. This trip has not been what I thought it would be. Bringing Julian in my city was a great risk. For the most part, it’s been wonderful. Having my dad and Julian together has been magical. Julian gave me that extra bit of strength I needed to tell my dad everything about Hunter. From what happened after the Day Block party, all the months that had stretched out before, to the final straw causing me to leave, and nearly full admission about my relationship with Julian. I told him I was watching every corner to see if Hunter was there and that my worst fear came true at the wedding last night. Julian and Hunter were in the same room, nearly coming to blows, and that I punched him.

  Dad sat and listened to every word. He never judged. He hugged me a lot. He even thanked Julian for his swift choice to defend me and make sure I was safe. I begged my father to tell me what he would do. He said he needed time to think and process. He told me that Hunter was on an early flight this morning to a conference in New York. That would give him the time he needed to sort the personal and professional, and come up with a course of action.

  Even after our conversation, several apologies from me, and even from my dad, it didn’t quash the constant fear and anger I still had. Even after a hot shower, I couldn’t stop shaking. My only saving grace seemed to be close contact with Julian. Instead of making me feel terrible for my feelings, he continued to embrace it and longed to understand it.

  My brain is now fully awake when Julian’s hand flexes over my left hip and his right begins to stroke the back of my thigh.

  “Did my hamster wheel wake you?” I ask.

  “Hamster wheel?” he inquires.

  “My brain. It’s already screaming to be oiled due to overuse.”

  Julian chuckles softly in my ear, appreciating my terrible humor. “Did your father leave? I thought I heard Toby earlier.”

  “Yeah, he’s likely doing his morning four miles around the lakes. Like clockwork… six a.m. to 7:16 a.m. He’s really proud of his 15-minute miles.” As I talk, his hand makes a more calculated stroll along my skin.

  “Did you finally sleep?” he asks.

  “After a bit, I was able to, yes. I fell asleep to you stroking my hair. Now, I wake to you stroking my skin. I think I could get used to this.”

  “Alexandra…” he begins. “Have you… Am I the first boy you’ve had lay with you here?”

  My eyes open at that question. “Boy?” I smile. “Actually yes, you are. Hunter was my… he was my… he would never stay here. My dad likely would not have allowed it anyway. You are the exception because, well, you’re you.”

  I’m waiting for Julian to latch on to the new revelation that not only was—is—Hunter an abusive asshole that hurt me for nearly our entire relationship, but he was, and always will have been, my first.

  The same silence that lingered in the air is back and louder than ever. The only thing keeping me from completely freaking out is the slow stroke of the underside of my thigh that has never stopped. While I’
m mentally trying to calm the panic, Julian rolls my body gently to rest on top of him. He pulls my purple blanket tighter around us, then kisses my forehead.

  “Let the storm go, Alexandra… let it go.” He takes another breath, quiet and even. “I want to be your first. Let me be your first. Pretend nothing counts before right now for you.”

  A do-over. He’s giving me a do-over.

  “Here? Now?”

  “Alexandra, every human deserves a first time they want to remember. One they can look back on and smile about, instead of regret. I had someone give me a chance to have that. I want that for you. Please…let me.”

  “Let you? You act like it would be an honor for you.” I can’t continue looking at him. I know he will see right through me if I do.

  “Because it would be, Alexandra.”

  I rest my cheek against his heart. I can feel the soft beat. It matches mine nearly perfectly. “Yes. Please, yes.”

  ***

  I haven’t had a Sunday like this in a long time. We did the crossword in the actual newspaper. Her father likes to hold a paper in his hand one day a week and read it cover to cover. I was in awe of her knowledge. She had a bit in every area. Occasionally, her father would make a comment on the Twins and she was able to quote player, position, and statistics. The relationship these two have is truly special. I am beyond envious. It’s what a real parent and child should look like.

  After lunch, we began our whirlwind tour of the city. She asked me what I wanted to see. I told her I wanted to see whatever was important to her and would allow me to see into her life. In less than six hours, I was able to see the park where she played as a child, the sledding hill, where she hit a pole and two older kids had to carry her home on her sled, and her high school where she was the manager of the football team her senior year. We drove the West Bank of the University of Minnesota. She showed me the apartment building where she lived with Shana her sophomore and junior years. We stopped at Matt’s in South Minneapolis for a thing called a Juicy Lucy and a local brew, then we rounded out the tour at Minnehaha Falls. The park reminded me a lot of Piedmont. There were a couple of children’s play areas and a fabulous dog park where we were greeted by every shape, color, and size of canine.