I bit back a grin at the irritation that coursed through him at the word, as well as at the fact that he knelt to me, bowed his head.
I made my way into his mind, forged a connection, and dismissed him. I faced the gods who had accepted my terms. A mixture of pride, fear, anger, happiness, relief, affection came from them as they watched me.
Time to demonstrate the price they'd pay if they ever betrayed me.
I turned to Ares and Dionysus. They glared at me while cowering from my gaze. It was an interesting combination.
I dug into my pocket, pulled out the stone I'd brought with me from my grave. Black, shiny. Warm to the touch, though that would change. I closed my eyes, reached into the depths of all the Nether had taught me as I died and resurrected within it. I looked down at the stone again. Flat and round, about two inches across. Uneven in thickness. So small and innocent, considering what it would become.
I settled my gaze on the two gods who had been responsible for my torture.
"Death, for me, was a temporary thing. I died at the hands of these gods a total of thirty-seven times, both in my grave and out of it." My voice was soft, but the chamber was so silent you could have heard a feather falling to the floor. "Because of what I am. Because of the circumstances of my birth. Because I will not just disappear, and I cannot be used. Because, no matter what else I am, I am the only truly immortal being here."
"Death can be comforting. It can be a long-craved silence in an otherwise insane life. It can be the comforting embrace of nothingness. Once upon a time, I craved death. But I can say now that it was none of that for me. I have too much to live for. I hated death." I paused, looked up at Ares and Dionysus. "But what you have ahead of you is much, much worse."
I set the stone on the floor in front of where they were chained. I would have just liked to have done what I needed to do and be done with it. But these were immortals, gods, and I knew that, if nothing else, they loved a bit of theatrics. They also needed things spelled out for them, very, very clearly. I took a deep breath, hoping the Nether hadn't been fucking with me when it showed me what to do.
"For the crimes of torture, murder, and betrayal, I sentence you, Dionysus, to an eternity in a prison made entirely of the Nether. May your soul empower me to save innocents with the same unrelenting focus you displayed when you put your greed ahead of family and honor. It will be so." My voice had raised in volume as I spoke, and with the final words, Dionysus let out a long, keening wail, and, as we all watched, he seemed to dissolve into nothing more than a silvery mist, which hung uncertainly in the air for a moment, and then swirled toward the black stone, settling into it, imbuing it with the soul of the god of wine and ecstasy, the son of Persephone and Zeus. I could feel Persephone's acute mourning behind me, her shame, her anger as her son ceased to be.
The room was silent as I gathered myself, readied my power to complete the spell again.
"God of War," I said, and Ares looked up at me, defiant to the end. "Your hatred was turned on me because I caused the death of your sister, Enyo. I can respect that. If anyone took those I loved from me, I would go into a murderous rage, too. You and I are no different in that way. The difference between us is that I have never enjoyed being cruel. The glee you felt the first several times you killed me… that is something I can't stop thinking about."
I paused, looked down at the stone that would soon be his prison. All I really wanted to do right at that moment was curl into a ball, preferably with Brennan, and pretend nothing else existed. But I couldn't do that, until I did this.
"For the crimes of torture and murder, I sentence you, Ares, God of War, to eternity in a prison made purely of the Nether, where your soul, so full of anger and discord, will help me fight for those who can't fight for themselves. It will be so."
He glared at me until the moment his body became silvery-black mist, until he fell apart. Unlike Dionysus, he refused to scream, refused to show how much it hurt, how afraid he was.
But I could feel it. I felt it all.
As his soul settled into the shining black stone, I stood and stared at it. It pulsed with power. Dark, angry, potent power. And I was responsible for it. It would serve me.
I didn't even want to look at it, let alone touch it.
I took a deep breath, pulled myself together, and bent to pick up the stone. It was ice cold now, and would remain so. I could feel their presence. But, more, and the whole reason I'd done this: I could feel their power, already making mine grow, making it easier for me to uphold the enchantment hiding the blood and mess I wore, easier for me to feel everything the gods felt, easier for me to hear their thoughts, bonded to me as they were.
It would make it easier for me to create a gateway, so I could go home, which was all that really mattered.
I held the stone tightly in my palm, felt the curves of it, cold against my skin. I turned to the immortals. "And that is the fate of anyone who dares to betray me. Any questions?"
There were none.
Chapter Nine
After that little scene, I think the gods and I were all pretty ready to be rid of one another.
I told the Aether gods they were free to go home if they wanted, but they all opted to stay in the Nether. Hades' home was filled with gods, though Persephone had had the sense to room them in the other wing of the palace, away from me. The only ones in my wing were Hades and Persephone, and Artemis, who, even more now, refused to leave my side.
I went to my room, locked the door behind me. I dropped the enchantment; no reason to hold it anymore. I knew that Artemis' cats sat outside of my door, and that Cerberus sat outside, just below the balcony off of my chamber.
I looked down at the stone still clasped in my hand. This was now my burden as well as a source of power. If it fell into the wrong hands, Ares and Dionysus might find themselves free somehow. I wasn't willing to risk that. Sighing, I brought up the enchantment again and left the room. The shower would have to wait a while longer.
I walked to the other wing, asking a demon along the way which chamber was Hephaestus'. Once I knew, I headed there, knocked twice on the door. He answered after a few moments.
"Yes, Mollis?" he asked once he saw me.
"May I come in?" I asked him.
He nodded and stepped aside. Artemis' two cats had followed me, and they sat outside the door. Hephaestus gave them a glance, then raised his eyebrows questioningly at me.
"It's a long story," I told him, and he nodded.
"What can I do for you?" he asked, getting right down to business.
I held the stone out, and he grimaced at the sight of it. "I need this on me at all times, for obvious reasons. I was hoping you could make something so I could wear it somehow."
He looked at it thoughtfully. "You could wear it on a chain. Wouldn't be hard to make a setting for it. Or a ring, maybe."
"Maybe a chain? I'd prefer to wear it in as discreet a way as possible."
He looked at it a bit more. "Chains can be grabbed, snapped," he said, thinking aloud and shaking his head. He looked at it a while longer, then he glanced at me.
"Arm band."
"Huh?"
"I can fashion a band of iron or silver, with a secure setting. And we can fit it to you so you can wear it here," he said, pointing at my upper arm. "You could wear it all the time under clothing. You want to make sure the stone is secure, that it doesn't pop off. The setting could come up to cover the edges of the stone, so most of it is encased in metal, surrounded by the band itself."
"I intend to wear it everywhere. Shower, sleep…"
"Silver, then. Iron will rust," he said, nodding. Then he glanced at me. "I don't suppose you have tools handy?"
I shook my head. "I think we'll have to visit your realm for that."
"All right. Artemis seems intent on protecting you, based on the kitties," he said, nodding toward the door, "which is kind of funny, considering. When you're ready to go, you and Artemis come and get me. I'll be here."
<
br /> I sensed for him. No hatred. No fear. Respect. "Why don't you hate me?" The words slipped out before I could second-guess it. I was tired, I told myself. Stupid to show that kind of vulnerability to a stranger.
He watched me for a moment. "I know what it's like to be reviled because of the way you're made. You know how to rise above it, queenie?"
I grimaced at the nickname. "How?"
"You decide you don't give a shit who likes you, and you go forward and live your life. Yeah?"
I nodded. He glanced again at the stone in my hand. "I won't lie to you. Watching Ares end that way was damn satisfying. If I didn't already like you before based on everything I heard, I fuckin' worship you now."
I couldn't help it. I laughed, just a little, and shook my head. "It's a creepy thing."
"It is. But I can't think of a better punishment for those two," he said. "I don't know what all they did to you, but I'm guessing it wasn't good."
"It wasn't good," I affirmed.
I left shortly after that, telling Hephaestus I'd be back soon.
Shower.
I needed a shower so badly I was about to scream.
The cats trailed me back to my rooms, and I shut the door behind me, letting the enchantment fall again. I went into the bathroom, turned the shower on as hot as it would go, and stripped off the remnants of my crusty, bloody, filthy clothing. I looked at them in a pile on the floor, then picked them up and took them back into the bedroom with me, tossed them into the fireplace, where they ignited immediately. I stood and watched them burn, wishing the memories would disappear as easily. When they were nothing but ashes, I walked back into the bathroom and stepped into the searing hot shower. I set the stone on the ledge of the bathtub, and stood under the water, watching rivulets of brownish gray grossness sluice down my legs and disappear into the drain. For a long time, I just stood there, and let the water do its thing.
I closed my eyes, fighting back the fear, the terror of the memories of my deaths. If I started thinking about it, I knew I'd fall apart. And adding to that, I had a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions from the immortals I'd bonded with. My mind was a noisy, chaotic place. It was like being locked into a tiny, windowless room with a bunch of people you despise, and they just won't shut the fuck up for even a second. Overwhelming. Irritating at every level.
It worked the way I needed it to. When one of them had a strong emotion, it seemed to flare in my mind, drawing my attention to them. Hera and her anger, shame over the things Ares had done. Zeus with his wounded pride. At the moment, the thought I kept catching most often was "what happens now?" They were worried, tense, angry.
Having them in my mind was enough to make me want to start pulling my hair out.
But I'd asked for this. And if it meant that the ones I love would be safe from the schemes of the immortals, it was worth it. I'd learned first-hand how vicious, heartless, sick they could be when they wanted to. I'd take every bit of insanity. I'd learn to deal with it, so no one I cared about would ever feel the things I'd felt at the gods' hands.
I stood under the water, and hoped I'd feel clean again, and my mind wandered. When I wasn't listening to the chatter in my head, I was back in my grave again.
I took deep breaths, determined to keep myself steady. There was no time now. Someday, I'd curl up in a fetal position and freak the fuck out, but not just yet. I swiped impatiently at my eyes, at the tears that had escaped, and I took another deep breath, and I focused on the one thing that centered me when I felt myself going over the edge: my connection to Brennan.
Someday, I'd tell him how he'd saved my life, and my sanity, over and over and over again. Because while I was strong enough to handle just about any damn thing that came my way, it felt good to have a little something to hold onto during the darkest times. And he was it.
Once I felt steady again, I picked up a bottle of herbal-scented shampoo, and went to work on my blood-matted, filthy hair. By the third shampoo, the water finally started running clear, and by the fifth, I felt somewhat clean again. I scrubbed my skin hard with the washcloth, abrading it, feeling like I'd never quite get all of the filth and death off of me.
When I finally stepped out of the shower, I at least looked normal, even if I didn't feel it.
I went to work combing the snarls and tangles out of my hair, which took longer than I would have liked, then I put on my Fury uniform and started braiding my hair. There was a knock at my chamber door. I sensed.
Persephone.
I was not in the mood for her shit.
I stuffed the black stone in my pants pocket and walked through my room. I pulled the door open to find my stepmother standing on the other side. Her eyes were red, and anger and sadness emanated from her. Dislike. As usual.
"I need a word with you," she said when I opened the door.
I nodded and waved her in, then closed the door behind us. The cats still stood guard.
I folded my arms across my body and watched her, waited for her to speak.
"You killed my son in front of me today," she said. "Actually, you did worse than kill him."
"I did," I said.
"You know I have no love for you. I wasn't especially fond of my son anymore, either. He may have been the get of that mortal that my father took, but I raised him as mine," she said, then she paused. "I wanted a child. I would have preferred one of my own, but my husband was incapable of producing life. Or so we believed," she said with a glare. "So I had the next-best thing in Dionysus, a child to raise, because his father, my father, couldn't be bothered with his upbringing. And it made me happy, for a time. And then he grew to be more like Zeus than I would have liked."
I stayed silent, watched her.
"But, as I said, for all intents and purposes, he was mine." Her gaze met mine. "And as his mother, I want to apologize to you for the things he put you through."
For a second, I was sure I'd heard wrong.
"I can't stand you. You and I will never, ever be friends. You said it best once when you said that you were the living, breathing reminder that Hades messed around on me. And it's true. It's not your fault, but I still hate you for that. I hate that you've turned my world upside down. I hate that you exist. Period."
She paused, took a breath as if trying to steady herself. "But no one deserves the things Ares and Dionysus did to you." She watched me. "Hades told me what you really looked like when you first came back. My husband is angrier than I've ever seen him, ever. And that is saying something. He feels guilty that he couldn't save you, guilty that he didn't protect you better. Guilty that he and Tisiphone did the one thing they weren't supposed to do, and made you, and your life has been a series of traumas. He feels helpless. And for a god, that is a completely alien feeling."
We stood in awkward silence for a few moments. "Well, at least you don't do shit behind my back. You have the guts to actively dislike me to my face," I said.
Persephone smirked. "Of course. What fun is it to skulk around in the background?"
I shook my head and opened the door. "Thanks, mommy dearest," I said. "This has been fun. Time to go now before you hug me or something."
"I'd rather kiss Cerberus, abomination," she said as she walked past me. "I'm glad you're not dead. For Hades."
"I'm glad I'm not dead too. Bye, now." Once I closed the door behind her, I shook my head and laughed a little, trying to imagine Persephone and I bonding.
I finished braiding my hair, then went next door and knocked on Artemis' door. When she answered, I explained about Hephaestus and told her where I was going and (as Hephaestus had predicted) she insisted on coming with me.
As we walked through the corridors to Hephaestus' room, I kept noticing her sneaking glances at me. "What?" I finally asked her.
"I am sorry. I failed you," she said. I knew it already, of course. Shame flooded from her. Anger.
I glanced at her. "You didn't. I was the dumbass who wasn't paying attention. I walked right into him."
&
nbsp; "I should have sent the cats with you, at the very least."
"I would have gotten angry with you. I don't need a babysitter. Although, maybe I could have used one at that moment," I said, shaking my head.
"I'm glad you're back with us, dear girl."
"You didn't say 'I'm glad you're okay.'" I remarked.
"Because you're very obviously not okay. Nor should anyone expect you to be." We walked in silence for a bit. "But you are strong. You'll be all right," she said.
"Thinking about your grandson is the only thing that kept me together," I said, my voice low. "I will do anything to get back to him. Anything." I looked at her, and our eyes met.
"And I will do whatever it takes to help you get back to him," she said. We walked, and the cats followed, and I found myself noticing things more than usual. The dark stone of the floors in my father's house, the same stone I now carried in my pocket. Pieces of the Nether. The art on the walls. Someone (Persephone, probably) had a thing for landscapes. Woodsy scenes, with waterfalls. I wondered aloud where the art had come from, and Artemis grinned. "Are you serious? All the best art the beings in your world ever created is in the Aether and the Nether. Gifts to the gods who inspired it. I have the most beautiful cat sculptures in my garden. You will have to visit my home some time."
I just nodded. I really wasn't planning on many social calls.
When we knocked at Hephaestus' door, he opened up, greeted Artemis with a hug, and we got ready to go to the Aether.
"How do you get there?" I asked as they each held one of my hands.
"Two ways: you can either travel over the mountains, which is a very, very long trip. Or," Hephaestus said, smiling a little, "you travel like this." And with that, he closed his eyes, and I felt myself being pulled apart, much like the time Eunomia had zipped me from the loft to the Packard Plant to guard the gateway.
Within an instant, we were standing on vibrant green grass under a golden sky.
"How do you do that? Can I do that?" I asked them, envisioning the possibilities for when I returned to my realm.
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