Kind of like me. It's a Nether thing, I think. We don't do well around others. We need silence, darkness. We recharge in solitude, even as we kind of hate it, because we need others to be strong.
Basically, we creatures of the Nether are a bunch of emo assholes. Walking, talking, murderous, parasitic stereotypes.
After a few hours, I'd run through my list of rocks to look under for my demons. I finished up by checking out one of the sleazy motels on Eight Mile. No luck. But I wished brain bleach was a real thing by the time I left.
I got back into the car, slammed the door hard in frustration behind me.
"We'll find them," Dahael said from the back seat.
"Every second they're out there, they're causing more pain," I said. "This makes no fucking sense."
"Like you said, probably working with Strife," Bash said, and I nodded. "So, easier to hide. Have help now."
"Meeting with shifter chief. Don't forget," Dahael said, and I sighed in irritation. I'd agreed to meet with Jones about the uptick in murders caused by my demons. This wasn't going to be fun.
When I got to the loft, Jones and Nain were already there. Brennan and Eunomia were out on patrol. Stone was sitting in the living room, holding Sean while he watched his talk shows. He got a kick out of the trashier ones, the ones where they were all about proving who the father was and who cheated on who. Everyone had to have a vice, right? Ada was out, having lunch with a couple of her witch friends. Levitt was still sleeping; he'd had the late patrol shift the night before.
"Chief," I said, and he shook my hand. The three of us went into Nain's office. It had been my office for a while, after Nain had died. He was clearly back. The top of the desk was back to its ordered, immaculate appearance. When I'd been using it, the place had been a mess. He was watching me as I looked around.
"You know it took me like a week to get it back the way it was supposed to be? How do you work like that?"
I couldn't help smiling. "Not everyone is as anal-retentive as you."
"I know. But, damn, woman. It was like a hurricane hit in here."
I laughed then. "You know we would have driven each other nuts if we'd stayed married? They could have made a shitty sitcom about us."
He laughed then, too. "Every episode would have been us bitching at each other over stupid shit. And then you'd kick my ass and the credits would roll."
I shook my head and sat down in one of the chairs.
"In her defense," Jones said, winking at me, "she barely had time to breathe when she was in charge. She changed a lot around here." He took the chair next to me as Nain settled himself into his big chair behind the desk.
"No shit. You know how weird it was to have people checking with me before they made decisions about things? Of course, for the first three months, all I heard was 'oh, uh, where's the Angel? I'd really rather talk to her.'"
Jones laughed. "They said that, but I've personally heard from people who swore they’d practically pissed themselves meeting with Molly." Then he turned to me. "You're scary. I like you."
I shook my head. "Apparently not scary enough," I said, bringing us back to the reason we'd decided to meet. "What can you tell me about the deaths my demons have caused?"
He ran through what he knew. Twenty-seven deaths. All women, all left in horrid states, which Nain had shown me in his mind the night before. There was no pattern to who they chose, other than that the victims were all women. Always found in empty houses or abandoned storefronts.
"The really irritating thing is that we've never run up against shit like this with demons before. You know they're not usually subtle. They enjoy flaunting what they do, the ones that do shit like this."
Time to share my part of the blame.
"I'm pretty sure they have help." I told them about Strife, and how I'd trapped her here, and her relationship with Enyo and Ares. "So I'm pretty sure she's doing this to get back at me," I finished. "Targeting women and leaving them like that. Taking my fucking demons. You're right. They wouldn't stay this well-hidden on their own."
Nain stayed silent, watching me. Jones looked completely deflated.
"This is your mess to clean up, Molls," Nain said finally.
"Yeah, no shit, Nain," I said, glaring at him. "I'm working on it." Then I turned to Jones. "For now, your guys should know that if they come across anything when they're working this case, they need to call for backup. Meaning you. Meaning you call me and I come and deal with it. All right?"
He nodded. Anger rolled off of him in waves. He liked me, but he was pretty sick of his city being in danger because of me. He was stressed out, so I was able to grab that right out of his mind. So was Nain, apparently.
"Just remember that she's saved a hell of a lot of people in your city when your department has dropped the ball before you get all judgmental, man," Nain said, with just enough threat in his voice to make Jones look up at him sharply.
"Relax. I know that." He stood up. "I'll relay your message to my guys." Then he shook Nain's hand, then mine, and took off. Nain and I exchanged a glance.
"We'll find them," he said to me.
"Same for you, Nain. If you come across them or Strife, don't take them on yourselves. It has to be me. Don't do anything stupid."
After a moment's hesitation, he gave me a terse nod and I walked out of his office. I grabbed a cup of coffee, and was gulping the hot heavenly liquid down when Eunomia came in from her patrol shift.
"Good day, devil girl," she said. I greeted her and grabbed my car keys off of the counter. "Going somewhere?"
"Hunting. Wanna come?"
She grinned, giving me one of her creepy little smiles. "Only if you leave that monstrous contraption behind. Let's fly."
"I hate heights."
"Get used to it. What good are wings if you refuse to fly?"
I tossed my car keys back onto the counter in case Brennan would need them, and we walked out together. We looked for my rogue demons, with zero luck, and we rescued two lost girls the imps alerted us to. We checked on the immortals, who were, for the most part, keeping themselves busy getting their hands dirty feeding and building and healing. I talked to my dad for a few minutes, as he took a break from preaching the word of Hades, which was basically "straighten the fuck up or I'm gonna hurt you" to a group of young men he was talking to. It seemed like they got the message. Apparently my mother and aunt were back in the Nether, doing their Fury thing. Zeus and Hera still hadn't returned from the Aether, and Apollo had joined them, along with Aphrodite.
"She was angry when she learned that Hephaestus had decided to live here full-time," Hades finished, and I rolled my eyes.
"As if she even cared, ever, what Heph was doing."
He shrugged. "She's the goddess of love. The idea of someone not being completely in love with her is hard to handle."
"Poor baby," I muttered.
"You'll want to watch your back with them, daughter," he said, his voice low and serious.
"I will. I know."
"And she has friends watching her back as well," E said, and I gave her a small smile.
"Have you visited the Nether yet, Guardian?" Hades asked Eunomia, and there was a note of worry from him. I watched his face.
"Yes," she said reluctantly.
"And did you notice anything amiss?"
"Why are you asking her that?" I asked, still watching my father.
"I need to hear if I'm imagining things or not."
I looked at Eunomia. "E?"
She glared at Hades. "Would you let her rest for a while? Um… my Lord," she added in a more neutral voice.
"What's going on?" I asked them.
"What did you feel, Guardian?" Hades pressed.
E looked at me, an apologetic look in her eyes. "Something is wrong with it. It's weak. I didn't gain nearly as much of my strength as I'd hoped I would."
Oh, for fuck's sake, I thought to myself, and felt another instance of massive amounts of rage. It twisted my mind, made
me want to hurt every living thing around me. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, trying to fight it, whatever the hell it was, back. Too much stress. Too much craziness, I thought to myself. I sensed worry from E and my father, but I focused on getting my emotions under control again. Once I felt like I wouldn't destroy anything, I opened my eyes and looked at them. They were both watching me, concern in their eyes.
"It's fine. I'm just tired," I said. "So it's weak. What are we supposed to do about that? Did I do it, when I made the gateway?"
"Tisiphone and I think so. If that's the case, then it's not as though it can be un-done," my father said. Then he met my gaze. "But this loss of power puts the other Nether gods and I at a disadvantage, especially considering that those most likely to harm you are from the Aether."
"And the Aether hasn't experienced any loss of energy?"
Hades shook his head.
"Well, shit," I said, for lack of anything better. "I'll figure something out."
Hades took my arm. "No. You won't. Leave it, Mollis. It can't be fixed, and you're likely to kill yourself or us trying. Let it be. Live your life."
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't be. So we lost some power from the Nether. I'm gaining some power by being here, the power they give me by believing. It will balance out over time. I believe that."
I nodded, took a deep breath. Eunomia was glaring at Hades, and he was doing his best to ignore it.
Eunomia and I scanned the city some more after we left, trying to get even the tiniest sense of my demons or Strife. We talked as we flew. She told me stories about things that had happened while I was gone, and I gave her the very abbreviated version of the Tale of Molly and the Immortals. After a while, we gave up, frustrated, and flew back to the loft. It was dark, and the night was cool. I could almost relax as we flew over the city. As we flew, I thought about how I really should move back into my own house. It was weird living in Nain's house, sleeping with Brennan. Living in the same house with Brennan and his son.
But part of me just wanted to be with all of them, no matter how awkward it felt sometimes. That was selfish. I'd figure it out.
E and I landed on the roof, and she took my hand and led me inside. Maybe she could sense how unsure I felt about everything. I followed her in. Ada, Stone, Nain, Heph, Brennan, Sean, and Levitt were all sitting at the huge dining room table, passing Chinese food containers back and forth. Brennan's eyes found mine immediately, and he set Sean down into the little bassinet that was near the dining room.
"Go on. I got him," Stone said, and Brennan nodded and grabbed one of the containers, then took my hand and pulled me toward his room.
I went.
It screwed me up, how much I wanted to be with him while wanting to hurt him. How I still craved the way he looked at me, the way his warm hands felt on my body, even as my heart shattered every time I let myself think about him and his one-night stand.
He pulled me into his room and closed the door behind us. He sat on the bedroom floor, and I sat down next to him.
"You like almond chicken, right?" he asked, and I nodded. He picked up some chicken with the chopsticks and held it toward me.
"I'm not a baby, Brennan," I said.
"I am well aware of that, Molly," he said, a low growl in his voice. "But I like watching you eat, and I want to feel useful, even if you don't need me."
I met his eyes, opened my mouth and accepted the food. I kept my eyes on his as I chewed. He fed me another bite when I was finished with the first, then took a bite for himself. We sat, eating in silence, and I couldn't stop looking at him.
"I didn't mean it, the other night," I said quietly. "When I said I didn't need you."
"I think maybe you don't need me. You don't need anyone, Molly. But I hope you still want me. I hope you still love me."
He put another morsel of food in my mouth. We finished off the rest of the container in silence, and he left and came back with two cups of coffee. He settled back onto the floor, sitting across from me. It felt like we should have been playing a board game or something, sitting on his bedroom floor like that. And then I had a thought, and I smiled in spite of myself.
"What are you thinking, with that little smile?" he asked softly.
"I was thinking it seems like we should be playing a board game. And then 'strip Scrabble' popped into my mind. It's something we would have done, I think."
He nodded, smiled a little. "Yeah. Maybe someday you'll want to actually do that."
"Maybe." I brought my knees up, hugged them to my chest. "Tell me about your day."
"Why?"
"Because I need to hear something other than the shit in my head."
So he did. He told me about his patrol. He told me about how a couple of shifters had stopped them, going on and on about the appearance of streetlights in their neighborhood, and I laughed. He told me about what a bad driver Hephaestus was, and he swore he'd never let the immortal drive my car. He talked about nothing, and it felt so normal. It was what I needed, and he knew it. He didn't talk about the Nether, or us, or his son. He stretched out on his back on the floor beside me, hands under his head, and he filled me with gossip and made me laugh over some of the crazier things he'd seen while I'd been gone. The room was lit only by the city outside, and neither of us bothered turning on a light. Sometimes, it's easier to find your way in the dark.
Eventually, he went silent, and we sat there, just keeping each other company. I knew, then, that I'd find a way to get past the pain I was feeling. He could have been begging. He could have been making excuses. He could have been telling me all the reasons we should make up and try to be happy. Instead, he fed me and talked himself hoarse trying to show me what normal life looked like.
He wasn't perfect. But I sure the hell wasn't either.
I yawned, and he got up and pulled me into bed with him. We both stayed in our clothes, too tired to change, and it didn't matter. I started to doze in Brennan's arms, his heart beating against my chest as I buried my face against him.
"I love you," he murmured after a while.
"I know. I love you too," I said softly. "We'll be okay."
He held me tighter, and I fell asleep with his fingers tracing up and down my spine, the curve of my lower back.
♦ ♦ ♦
I was back in my grave again, blackness surrounding me, the weight of the soil heavy on my chest. Arms bound.
Helpless.
Suffocating.
I thrashed, whimpered, tried to scream despite the soil filling my throat.
"Molly!"
I woke up screaming, forced the weight off of me, the same way I’d forced the soil away as I’d emerged from the grave.
A loud crash, breaking glass.
I sat up, trying to catch my breath, ready to scream again. And I heard a groan.
I looked around wildly. It took a bit for me to remember where I was: home, in the loft, in the bed Brennan and I shared.
Brennan.
He was on the floor, across the room. He’d crashed into the wall, and the shelf full of photos and books was laying on the floor next to him. He was sitting up.
I stared in horror, then shook myself out of it, leapt out of bed and went to him.
"Oh god. Oh my god. I’m sorry," I said, kneeling next to him, running my hand over his neck, his back.
My fingers came away covered with blood.
"Oh---" I started getting up to get the first aid kit, and he reached up and grabbed my arm, held me still.
"Molly, it’s okay," he said quietly.
"Hey! Everything okay up there?" Stone shouted from downstairs.
"Yeah. Dropped something," Brennan called back. He was still holding my arm.
"You’re bleeding. Let me go."
He held on tighter. "Stop. I’m okay. It’s a cut, and I’ve had worse."
"Brennan," I said helplessly, tears threatening. I’d hurt him. "I think I should move out," I whispered.
He pulled me down on
to his lap, put his arms around me. Partially to comfort me, partially to keep me from taking off. "Yeah? Where would you go?"
"To my house," I said quietly.
"I would follow you."
"I hurt you. It could have been worse," I said, and he held me tighter. "You’re going to hate me." That thing inside, the thing that wanted to hurt him, radiated satisfaction, and I wanted to scream.
"Sense for me, Molly. I there any sense, at all, that I hate you?"
I closed my eyes, felt his gaze on me. I sensed for him. Love. Warmth. Anger.
"You’re angry," I said.
"Not at you, though," he said, resting his forehead against my hair. "Never that. I’m angry that things happened to you that I couldn't protect you from. I’m angry you have all of this fear in you now. I hate whatever happened to you to put that fear there. I’m angry you can’t talk about it, yet Hephaestus seemed to know all about it."
"Only because he was there. Do you really want to know?" I asked him.
He picked me up, turned me around on his lap so I was facing him, legs on either side of his hips. He looked into my eyes, ran his fingers gently through my hair. "Yes. I have an idea, from what I felt on my end. But I have the feeling it was worse than I wanted to believe."
I took a deep breath, and I looked into his eyes. Then I rested my forehead against his, and I started talking.
By the time I'd gotten to the part where I’d been buried alive, the rage coming off of Brennan was worse than anything I’d ever felt from him.
I told him about coming to in my grave. About suffocating and dying, over and over again. About how the Nether saved me, made me more powerful, but demanded a price.
His arms were tight around my body. He sat in silence for a few long moments, and I knew he was trying to get himself calm enough to talk. He felt helpless. Enraged. His shoulders under my hands were tense.
"What was its price?" he finally asked.
"I’m tied to it," I said quietly. "It took all the power I had to break away from it. I don’t think I was supposed to be able to leave the Nether. I was in pain when I went to the Aether. Being here is excruciating. Everything hurts, all the time. And when I use my powers, I kind of want to die."
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