Never Is A Very Long Time_A Romantic Comedy With Attitude

by Donna McDonald

She laughed softly when Brent blushed and rubbed a hand over his face. She was pretty sure he was swearing under his breath.

  “Your mother?” he asked at last.

  Mariah nodded, unable not to grin at his total surprise.

  “I see. Does she fix toilets for a living?”

  Mariah had to laugh. “No. She’s a retired military wife. Mom’s just… resourceful. She was doing me a favor and trying to save me paying a plumbing bill. It’s how she is.”

  Brent scratched his nose. “I see. Your mother. Is she married then?”

  Mariah shook her head. “Widow. My father died a long time ago.”

  Brent stuck out his bottom lip as he thought. He laughed as he let out a long breath. “Wow, I’m sorry about your father, but her unmarried status is a big relief to me. I mean, given our exchange in the bathroom, I’d have felt kind of bad if she’d been married. Why did she say no to dinner if she’s not in a relationship? I could tell she was interested in me.”

  “I have no idea,” Mariah said truthfully, thinking Brent was the most confident man she’d ever met. Her mother might not have even heard his offer. Georgia Bates had a way of tuning out what she didn’t choose to hear.

  Brent snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it. Set me up on a date with her and I’ll tell all my single friends at the Smoking Loon about your business. You’ll have so many well-heeled male clients, you’ll need two databases to handle us all. Now that’s a deal you can’t refuse.”

  The Smoking Loon was a prestigious country club in Hamilton County with an equally prestigious and pricey membership most people dreamed of bragging about having one day. Dan had wanted a membership there, and they might have gotten one eventually, but the club fees had seemed too excessive to her.

  Mariah sighed over the loss of his recommendation, knowing she really could double her clientele with that kind of social boost. “That’s a very tempting offer, but again, I’m going to have to decline. This is my mother we’re discussing, not some random woman waiting for the perfect man to date.”

  She laughed when Brent crossed his arms stubbornly. She barely kept herself from rolling her eyes.

  “Will you think about it a little longer before you give me your final answer?” he asked.

  Mariah laughed full out then. You had to admire his persistence. Her mother would have a very hard time wrangling this man the way she had her Air Force father.

  “Brent… I can promise you I’ll not be able to avoid thinking about it. I’m sure I’ll get an earful from my mother too, as soon as you’re out of hearing range.”

  “A whole earful, huh? Well, I guess I’d better get out of here then so you two can start talking about me. It’s Friday, you know. Everybody should leave work early on Fridays. Playtime is important.”

  They hadn’t really talked about the reason for his impromptu visit, but Mariah wasn’t going to point that out. She was still trying to wrap her head around her mother charming Brent Colombo into asking her for a date. The idea was mind boggling.

  She walked her handsome client out of her office where they found her mother sitting primly in the waiting area. Jackie O couldn’t have looked more calm and collected. Her mother wore a new blue sweater and a pair of slim-fitted navy slacks ending at her shapely ankles. Topping those off were a pair of stylish, cute flats. She looked great except for the water stain on her no longer white silk shirt.

  “Toilet fixed?” Mariah asked dryly, mouth quirking in humor when her mother glared at her.

  “Yes, and I turned the little silver lever thing under the tank so the water came back on. Someone big and strong pointed it out to little old me.”

  “Silver lever thing? Are you talking about the water shutoff valve?” Mariah asked around a chuckle, wondering why her knowledgeable mother was playing stupid. She got her answer when Dr. Brentwood Colombo, who could undoubtedly pay people to flush for him if he wanted, huffed indignantly beside her.

  Mariah was stunned when Brent walked to her mother who stood up immediately to head him off. They were nearly the same height, a fact emphasized by the eyeball to eyeball staring contest they were now engaged in. She heard Della nearly choke trying to restrain a giggle. Her assistant was getting all the dissertation research she was ever going to need from the lackey job Mariah had offered her.

  “You’re a very lucky woman for someone your age. You have the breasts of a twenty year old,” Cincinnati’s most renowned plastic surgeon informed a glaring Georgia Bates.

  Her mother glared back at Brent, unmoved by the compliment as far as Mariah could tell.

  “I’m sure you’d know all about twenty year old breasts, wouldn’t you, Hollywood?”

  Brent seemed undaunted by the mean in her mother’s statement. Instead, he smiled at her… widely… showing all his perfectly white male predator teeth.

  “That sweater brings out the exact color of your eyes. You look really cute in it… for a plumber,” he said.

  “Save your breath, Hollywood. I don’t flirt with men whose watches cost more than my car.”

  “But you just did.”

  They both went silent after his last taunt, returning to merely glaring at each other again. Her mother broke the silence with a swear word—of course. Brent put his hands on her arms, leaned close, and whispered something low in her ear that made her mother frown hard.

  Mariah would have given her next match fee to know what Brent had said to her mother.

  She was so mesmerized by her mother swapping insults with a man she didn’t even jump when the now familiar, and still very sexy, male voice whispered softly in her own ear.

  “Glad now I stopped by to check on you. That’s way more snap, crackle, and pop than I got out of my breakfast cereal this morning.”

  She turned her head and looked up, finding herself nearly nose to nose with a grinning John Monroe. “That’s my mother,” she whispered.

  John’s grin got broad as he snuck a look at the whispering older couple. “No kidding. Is the guy a client?”

  “He has been up to now.”

  John’s low chuckle over her mournful tone had the glaring pair putting some distance between each other at last.

  “It was fun meeting you. See you later, sexy,” Brent said, nodding at her mother before turning to leave. He paused by Mariah as he walked by. “Do think about what I said. I have an unlimited black card.”

  Mariah didn’t answer, just closed her eyes. She could all but feel John shaking with laughter beside her.

  How John managed to invite himself to dinner with her and her mother was as much a mystery as was why he was involving himself in her life at all. Yet for the third time that week, Mariah found herself sitting across a table from him. It was the first time though that she was at least mildly happy about his pushiness. John’s large distracting presence was keeping her mother’s ranting about Brent to a minimal level, though that fact was known only to her. She was sure Georgia Bates looked unhinged to the rest of the restaurant patrons.

  “The smiling idiot even asked me out. Like I’d go out with a man who dates twenty year olds,” Georgia finished.

  Mariah looked at her frowning mother. “Yes, Brent told me he asked you out and that you said no.”

  “Brent? Is that his name?”

  Mariah blew out a breath. Since Brent had outed himself in front of all three people at the table, normal discretion had already taken a hike. “His name is Dr. Brentwood Colombo.”

  “Doctor? Sounds more like a Detective.”

  “That’s on TV, Mom.”

  “Yeah. I loved that show,” John declared.

  Mariah gave him a chastising look for interjecting, but it just seemed to make him grin harder at her. A deep dimple appeared in one cheek. John was obviously enjoying her mother’s meltdown, as much as the steak in front of him. He was also enjoying seeing Mariah squirm on yet another professional hotseat.

  “Brent seemed very sincere about his interest in you,” Mariah offered her fussing paren
t.

  “Tell me the truth. How old was the last bimbo Hollywood dated?” Georgia demanded.

  “I have no idea. There are no bimbos in my client database,” Mariah hedged.

  Then she remembered Beth Stanley getting by her radar. A resigned sigh betrayed her realization. Fortunately, her mother was too livid to notice. When John covered his grin with a big hand though, she kicked him under the table, uncaring of what role he played in her life if he was going to make fun of her. His grunt of pain distracted her mother for another whole ten seconds before she rounded again. John’s scoot out of leg range was very satisfying.

  “You’re dodging the question, Mariah.”

  Mariah glared at her mother. “Because you know I can’t tell you. Client matchups are confidential.”

  “Fine. Don’t tell me. Why should you be loyal to me? I’m just your mother,” Georgia declared, standing up. “I’m going to go check in with the old fool in the mirror. She’ll tell me the truth. She always does.”

  “Mom…” Mariah began, but Georgia Bates was already stomping off.

  “I see you got the whole stomping off thing from your mother,” John said calmly, watching her exit as well.

  Mariah nodded. “At least she wasn’t cursing like a sailor this time. I’m pretty sure she was holding back because you were here. Mom probably has the wrong idea about you just because you showed up unexpectedly at the office on a Friday afternoon. Her assumptions about our non-existent relationship are the only reason you’re here eating half a cow.”

  “I know,” he admitted.

  John’s genuine laughter after her glare over his admission brought a reluctant smile to her mouth. It had certainly been one hell of a week.

  “I wish you’d just tell me what’s going on. It would make liking you a whole lot easier. I want to like you, but you’re not helping me feel good about those urges.”

  “You’d just want to kill the messenger if I told you,” John said, putting his attention back on his food.

  “Would I?” Mariah asked with genuine curiosity.

  John nodded. “Yes. But in the end, everything is going to work out just fine, because you keep doing the right things by the right people. You’re a good woman, Dr. Bates. Your integrity shines brightly. Even your grumpy mother knows that. She’s just mad at Colombo because she couldn’t intimidate him into running away as easily as she wanted. Frankly, I think you need to set them up.”

  Mariah liked hearing him praise her integrity, but what did he mean by it? Two court cases in a month would make even a good person start doubting themselves. And as for her mother…

  “I’m a matchmaker, not a miracle worker, Mr. Monroe. My mother would never agree. Besides, I have someone else in mind for Brent. She’s mature too, but a bit younger than Mom.”

  John gave her a pained look. “Your mother looks great. I can see why Dr. Colombo would be attracted. She oozes self-confidence just like you do.”

  “And curses,” Mariah added. “Mom oozes curses too.”

  John grinned at her. “You’re just feeling negative after a tough week. Put the idea of your mom and Colombo on hold and give it some thought later. The attraction between them had the whole room vibrating. I can understand why people would pay someone to help them find that.”

  Mariah lifted a hand. “Last year was so calm. Twenty matches I made got married. Twice that many are still together and still dating. My business grew by word of mouth alone and that felt amazing. Even with the ugliest divorce in the history of Ohio happening in the background of my life, I felt fulfilled in my work for the first time in years. In my gut, I knew I’d made the right decision to open The Perfect Date.”

  “From what I’ve seen so far, you’re doing everything as right as you can. The cocky plastic surgeon hitting on your jaded mother is comic relief, but also a lesson in what love is really like, right? It isn’t always convenient nor does it happen at the best of times. God knows, I’m learning that lesson right now. I keep chasing you down and inviting myself to dinner out of desperation to have at least a few positive interactions with you. My standards are pretty low. I just want you not to hate me.”

  Mariah didn’t know what to say in response to John’s admission, but hate was the last emotion she would have named about how she felt.

  “Mom and Brent might actually be comic relief for me if I wasn’t living with her. You see… I know I’m going to get the full rant later. Then I’m going to have to tell her that he’s serious until she believes it. Brent is a man on a mission. He intends for wife number five to really be his perfect match.” John’s eyes lit with humor at her revelation. “And I can’t believe I just told you all kinds of things I shouldn’t have about Brent’s motives. Are you one of the good guys, John? Because I’m starting to like you way more than I should.”

  Not answering, John picked up his glass of water, took a sip, and then to her complete surprise, set his water down before leaning over and putting his mouth firmly on hers. After two seconds, the shock of being kissed wore off and she melted into his lips sliding gracefully over hers. There was heat and caring in each stroke, and both in a balance she’d never had before, especially not in a first kiss. The quick nip of his teeth scraping her bottom lip as he broke contact brought on a full rush of arousal. She saw he knew it too, because John backed away faster than when she’d kicked him under the table.

  “You make me want to cross every damn line in my life,” John whispered. “Can I pay for dinner?”

  Mariah shook her head. “We better keep this meal professional. It’s about all the resistance I have left,” she whispered back.

  “Dutch tonight, then,” John conceded. “Hopefully, this will all be over soon. I’ll take you someplace great.”

  Once again Mariah had no idea what John meant.

  How long was she going to let this nonsense of not knowing go on? It wasn’t like her to let anyone keep her from knowing something. John kept hinting that she’d been dodging a mental bullet for a long time without realizing it.

  Mariah could all but hear the mutterings as her mother lectured herself in the bathroom mirror. Yet wasn’t what Georgia Bates had done that day the perfect example of a woman with some genuine personal power?

  Her sixty-ish mother—the most unpretentious, self-sufficient woman Mariah knew—had charmed the pants off a handsome, uber wealthy, and highly appealing man who any woman in her database would kill for the chance to date. Her mother had even made him forget the real reason he’d dropped by the office.

  Mariah didn’t have to guess why her mother had turned down Brent’s dinner invitation. Georgia listened to her instincts. Her mother didn’t trust Brent because she’d instinctively known the man dated women a third his age when he damn well wanted.

  Another thing her divorce from Dan had taught her was that not trusting a man was a very different state of mind than simply not being interested in him. Not trusting Dan had put her on guard and made her doubt herself.

  Hadn’t she lived in that soul numbing state for two years too long already? How much worse could the truth be?

  Mariah’s chin dipped to her chest as she thought about her options. John was not going to tell her anything. He’d made that crystal clear. His ethics seemed as iron clad as hers, so how could she fault him? Following her around was his compromise.

  There was actually a simple, if a bit unethical, way for her to find out at least a little of what John and Dan were keeping from her. The question was did she dare to bend her own rules in her favor for once. God knew bending them for Dan had done nothing to improve her situation.

  If Georgia Bates had ever doubted her husband, her bold, brassy mother would have done anything it took to get to the bottom of the mystery. She wouldn’t have given what Mariah contemplated a second thought before doing it.

  Not only did nice women not make history, they typically didn’t solve their own problems either. Looking at the handsome, unhelpful man finishing his steak, Mariah wa
s suddenly very tired of being nice.

  Chapter Eleven

  Just as she was wondering how she could get into the gated neighborhood, someone leaving it had looked at her Mercedes and immediately offered to help. While lying to kind strangers was another first for her, Dan’s strangeness and John’s secrecy about it seemed to require those drastic measures to surmount the obstacles. Liking that rationalization—since sneaking and deceiving was something detectives excelled at—Mariah took getting into the elite neighborhood so easily as a sign from the universe that she was on the right path.

  The house was less grand than she’d expected, but it was one of the biggest she’d passed driving in this far. Standing at the door now, Mariah practiced her carefully planned speech only to be completely thrown off course when a woman her age opened it holding a tearful baby in her arms.

  “Can I help you?” the woman asked, sounding very tired and in bad need of a break.

  Mariah heart clenched in immediate sympathy. “I’m so sorry to bother you. I must have the wrong house,” she said, making a cooing sound at the still sniffling baby. “Poor little thing. Is she having a rough day?”

  “Teething,” the woman said quietly. “Who were you looking for?”

  “Beth Stanley,” Mariah answered instantly.

  “Can I ask why?” the woman asked.

  “Sure. She’s a client of mine and I haven’t been able to reach her. I just wanted to make sure she was okay and that nothing was wrong,” Mariah said, embellishing their connection.

  “This is her house. I’m surprised my daughter didn’t give you her married name.”

  “Gramma? Who’s at the door?”

  The tired woman turned and looked down. She smiled as she pushed back the little boy’s hair. “Back into bed, Daniel. You’re not well enough to be out of it yet.” The woman turned back to Mariah. “I have my hands full. Daniel had his tonsils taken out a couple days ago. Been a champ about it until today.”

  Mariah stared in shock at the six or seven year old boy, glancing back to the baby girl in her grandmother’s arms. “Luray…” Mariah said aloud as the strange puzzle pieces of the last two years fell into place in her mind. “I’m guessing she’d be Beth Luray now. I didn’t know it had actually happened.” Which was the truth. Dan hadn’t told her a damn thing.