Summer Season

by Julia Williams

  Joel drove them out of Chiverton, and up a winding country lane to the top of Chiverton Hill. The pub sat at the top of the hill, and the views were extraordinary, particularly as the trees had lost their leaves, which opened up vistas hidden in summer. The sun was shining for the first time in a week, and the hillside showed a stunning array of greens, blues and greys.

  Joel parked the car in the car park, popped Sam in his pushchair, helped his mum and her stick out of the car, and they walked to the viewpoint to look out across the county. In the very, very far distance they could make out a strip of grey blue.

  ‘Do you know, I think that’s the sea?’ said Joel. ‘They say on a clear day you can see it.’

  ‘What’s that spire?’ his mum said, pointing out a church in the near distance.

  ‘Not sure,’ said Joel, consulting the viewpoint. ‘Oh, it’s probably the Church of St Barnaby at Burnham Heath.’

  He stared at the different locations indicated on the viewpoint.

  ‘Oh look, it’s even got Heartsease on it. Five miles to the Heartsease Memorial Gardens. I’m not sure why they’d mention that, they’re not much cop now.’

  ‘Presumably they were more of a feature once,’ said his mum. ‘Are they in a very bad way? I seem to remember, when I was a child, they were beautiful.’

  ‘It’s a shame,’ said Joel, as they walked back towards the pub. ‘You can see they used to be magnificent, but they’ve gone to rack and ruin now. Kezzie, the girl who’s restoring the garden for me, wants to have a go at sorting them out too. They even want me on the village committee.’

  ‘It might do you good,’ said his mum. ‘Give you something to focus on.’

  ‘That’s what Kezzie said,’ said Joel. ‘It turns out next year is the 140th anniversary of Edward Handford’s birth, and the Parish Council want to celebrate, and they seem keen to have a member of his family involved.’

  ‘And do you want to?’

  ‘I didn’t,’ admitted Joel. ‘I thought at first it wasn’t quite my thing, but since Kezzie and I found all the stuff in the attic – I did tell you about that didn’t I?’

  ‘You did,’ said his mum with a smile, ‘several times.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Joel, a little crestfallen, ‘sorry, I’ve probably been a bit overexcited about it.’

  ‘It’s lovely to see you so enthusiastic about something,’ said Mum. ‘Really, I’m pleased. And I’d love to see what you find out.’

  ‘So far, we’ve read some of the diaries and letters, and it looks as though before Connie was born, Edward and Lily lost a couple of babies. Which was very sad. And from what we can tell, Lily seems to have died fairly young. Do you know what she died of?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Mum. ‘My mother said her parents never spoke of it. I asked Connie once, and she went very quiet and said something about some things being better left alone. I’m amazed that you found all that paperwork. I wonder why she kept it.’

  ‘I really feel for Edward,’ said Joel. ‘It sounds daft, but he was left all alone in that big, old house, just like I’ve been. I really want to bring both the house and garden back to life.’

  ‘Well then,’ said his mum, ‘I think you should, don’t you?’

  Kezzie was on a train to London. She was still debating the wisdom of this, but she’d felt so lonely on Friday night, she found herself looking up all her friends on Facebook. She’d deliberately kept off it since she’d been in Heartsease, but once she had logged on, there were so many messages from people she felt quite teary.

  Kez, where are you???? Flick had posted on her wall over a month ago, and then again, KEZ what’s up? No one’s seen you. Please don’t be dead.

  Kezzie hadn’t been able to resist, responding:

  Hi Flick. No. Not dead. Having some time out.

  Where are you? came the instant response.

  Do you live on FB? typed Kezzie. Why don’t you go out and get a real life?

  Cos my virtual one’s such fun, retorted Flick. But seriously. Where are you? How are you? Am worried, honx

  I’m fine, typed Kezzie. But I do miss you.

  Well, what are you waiting for? wrote Flick. Come and see us. What are you doing tomorrow night? There’s a band on at the Liberty and a crowd of us going. Why don’t you come? You could crash with us.

  I’ll think about it, wrote Kezzie, but she knew she didn’t have to think about it at all. She was enjoying her new life in Heartsease, but she missed her old life in London. And it wasn’t just Richard she was missing; she was missing her friends too.

  So Saturday morning found her on a train up to London. Her decision was so spontaneous, she hadn’t got round to telling anyone where she was going. Although, who would she tell, apart from Lauren or Joel? She didn’t know anyone else.

  It seemed weird coming up to London after all these weeks away. She watched the countryside gradually flee away as the train sped through Sussex villages, and gradually raced towards more built up urban centres. After weeks of seeing hills, and trees, and sheep, it was a sudden shock to be rattling through council estates, back gardens, and fox cubs playing by the railway side. London seemed dirtier than she remembered, as the train crept slowly into Waterloo and the station itself seemed frantic and busy. Did people always rush this much in London? Had she, when she lived here? It was nice, she realized, taking things a little more slowly.

  It took an hour and a half to get over to Flick and Gavin’s flat in Walthamstow. The flat itself was lovely and cosy. But the road it was on was grim, with a towering estate looming ominously on the other side of the road. Kezzie grinned. She had fond memories of that estate. She, Flick and Gavin had started out planting a few bedding plants there, and although at first the local kids had pulled them up, in the end some of them had got interested in what Kezzie and her friends were doing. With some help and enthusiasm from their local community centre, the kids had ended up creating their own little garden. Kezzie still felt proud of that.

  ‘Kez! You’re here.’ Flick threw her arms round Kezzie, and gave her an enormous hug. ‘Tell me, where have you been? What’s been going on?’

  ‘It was just London, Richard, everything,’ said Kezzie. ‘I needed to get away.’

  ‘But you could have told me where you were going,’ scolded Flick.

  ‘I know, I’m sorry,’ said Kezzie. ‘Things all felt a bit mad here, and then my Aunt Jo offered me a place to stay in the country, and it seemed like the right thing to do.’

  ‘You’re living in the country?’ Flick roared with laughter. ‘What a hoot. Did you hear that, Gav?’

  ‘I think most of London heard it,’ said Gavin, who was also known as Space Cadet on account of him being not very with it a lot of the time. He was sitting at their rackety kitchen table, rolling a joint. ‘Hey, Kez, great to see you. There’s a whole crowd of us going out tonight. Should be a blast.’

  And it was. After a bite to eat, the three of them strolled down the road to the local pub, the Three Compasses, where Kezzie had spent many a happy evening. She soon slipped back into things. Flick and Gavin had gathered a crowd together, some of whom she knew, Tom who’d come on lots of night-time expeditions with them, and Karen and Dan who lived down the road, as well as several she didn’t. It was fun, and Kezzie was enjoying herself so much by the time they got to the gig, she allowed herself to be persuaded to have a puff of Gavin’s spliff.

  ‘I shouldn’t really,’ she said. ‘I decided to give it up.’

  ‘Oh, come on, don’t be a party pooper,’ said Flick, who was well away by now, ‘what harm can one little puff do?’

  ‘A lot,’ said Kezzie, with feeling.

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Flick. Overwhelmed suddenly at being with people she loved, who loved her, and who knew Richard, Kezzie couldn’t contain herself any longer. She’d spent so long hugging her secret to herself, the words came spilling out of her.

  ‘The thing is, oh God, Flick, I’ve been such an idiot,’ she said. ‘I k
new Rich hated me smoking dope. One of the few things we used to argue about was that he thought I could be feckless sometimes, incapable of taking responsibility. I wanted to prove him wrong, but instead I stuffed up big time.’

  ‘Woah,’ said Flick, raising her hand. ‘Slow down. What on earth did you do?’

  Kezzie put her head in her hands, and then sat up and looked straight ahead.

  ‘You know we were going to move in together?’ she said.

  ‘Yes, so?’ said Flick.

  ‘Well, I offered to have Emily at my place for the afternoon, when Richard was going to be late at work. I knew he was worried about how we got on and that Emily was a bit wary of me, and I thought we could get to know each other a bit better. Stupidly, I thought we might bond a bit better away from Richard’s flat.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘It was a disaster,’ said Kezzie. ‘Emily was bitchy to me from the minute she arrived. I tried to engage her in polite conversation, I tried to find out what she was interested in, and she was so bloody rude. In the end, I just left her watching TV and went into my room to work on some designs I was doing for one of Richard’s clients, and we ignored each other till Richard came home. Which was when all hell broke loose.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘He found Emily lying on the floor giggling hysterically, drunk and high as a kite, and blamed me for plying her with dope. I tried to tell him I hadn’t – I didn’t even have any dope in the house but he was so angry he wouldn’t listen and the little cow told him I had given her some of my magic muffins.’

  ‘Oh my God – were those the ones we made together?’ Flick suddenly twigged what had happened.

  ‘The very same. I’d planned to share them with you and Gav next time we were out gardening. Emily must have helped herself. Plus, she’d found some of my vodka and drunk that. I told Richard I hadn’t given it to her but he wouldn’t believe me. We had a row, and that was it, he wouldn’t see me again.’

  ‘Oh, Kez,’ said Flick, giving her friend a hug. ‘The silly sod. He must have known you’d never do a thing like that.’

  ‘I don’t think he’s that rational as far as Emily’s concerned,’ said Kezzie. ‘Emily told her mum, who blamed Richard, and stopped Emily seeing him for a bit, which made things worse for me and him of course. I accused Emily of doing it on purpose to split us up, and that was it. Richard stopped taking my calls, and refused to have anything to do with me. And it’s my own stupid fault. I should never have had those muffins in the house where a teenager could get their hands on them. And it proved to Richard once and for all how irresponsible I was.’

  ‘And do you think he’s right?’ said Flick with sympathy.

  ‘Yes. No. I don’t know,’ said Kezzie. ‘It’s all been so muddled up in my head. I think the main thing is we both realized how different we are, how different our lifestyles are. I don’t think we can be together any more.’

  ‘Well, then,’ said Flick. ‘If that’s the case, one spliff can’t hurt can it?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Kezzie, but she was weakening.

  ‘After all, you don’t have to please Richard any more,’ continued Flick.

  ‘Oh, go on, then,’ said Kezzie.

  Hours later, after a really brilliant evening, where she’d danced wildly, sung herself hoarse, and drunk far too much, Kezzie found herself rollickingly staggering back down the road with Flick and Gavin, and ordering a curry.

  ‘I do love you two guys, you know,’ she said. ‘I’ve missed you.’

  ‘I’ve missed you, too,’ said Flick. ‘Don’t go away. Stay here.’

  ‘Got to,’ said Kezzie. ‘Got a commission to restore a garden.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ said Flick.

  ‘It is.’ Kezzie told them all about Edward Handford and Lovelace Cottage, and she realized that it was good, and she was beginning to really like it in Heartsease. ‘You could come and help me. We’re trying to restore a community garden, too, do you remember that project we worked on over in Hackney? Only a bit posher.’

  ‘You’re on,’ said Flick. ‘Tell us where and when. Oh, and if you’re not coming back, take something from Spike home with you to keep you cheerful over the winter.’

  Spike was the name Flick had given to the original cannabis plant she’d grown. Over the years Spike had produced much fruit as it were, and Kezzie grinned as she accepted the small plastic bag Flick offered her.

  ‘Thanks guys,’ she said. ‘You’re the best,’ and sat back in her chair and relaxed. With the winter coming on she’d been feeling very lost and lonely, despite her burgeoning friendship with Lauren. Coming back to see her friends had reminded her of who and what she was. Suddenly she didn’t feel quite so lonely any more.

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘Girls, do you remember who I said was visiting today?’ Lauren sat down with Izzie and Immie over breakfast. She’d told Troy that he could come around and meet them, but she still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing. She looked from one to the other, so alike, and yet so different as they sat munching their toast in the homely kitchen. She’d worked so hard to make their home a haven for them, to make up for not having two parents. And in the main, she felt she’d succeeded. Was she about to destroy all that by letting him back into their lives?

  In the last couple of weeks she’d gradually introduced the idea of Troy coming back, but she wasn’t sure how much the girls had understood about it, or whether they were upset at all. Having them actually meet him was a big step.

  ‘You know I told you that Daddy had come back after being away for a long time?’ said Lauren.

  ‘Ye-es,’ the girls chorused a bit doubtfully.

  ‘Daddy’s coming to see you today, isn’t that lovely?’

  ‘Oh,’ the girls looked blankly at her.

  ‘Where has he been?’ Izzie wanted to know.

  ‘I thought we might be getting a treat,’ said Immie looking disappointed.

  This wasn’t going exactly to plan, but Lauren persevered.

  ‘Daddy had to work a long way away from here,’ she lied. She didn’t like lying to the girls, but how did you tell two four-year-olds their dad hadn’t wanted to know? ‘So he couldn’t come and see you before. But now he’s back and he really wants to meet you.’

  ‘I don’t want to meet him,’ said Izzie. ‘Silly Daddy.’

  ‘Yes, silly Daddy,’ agreed Immie.

  Very silly, Lauren silently concurred, looking at her daughters and wondering how anyone in their right mind could have ever abandoned them.

  ‘That’s a shame,’ said Lauren, ‘because I’m sure you’d like him.’

  ‘Will he like us?’ Izzie looked at Lauren so anxiously her heart melted.

  ‘Of course he will,’ she said feeling her throat constricting. This was so bloody hard. ‘Come on, I’ll give him a ring now and ask him to come round. And if you don’t like him, we’ll send him away again. What do you think?’

  The girls mulled it over for a few minutes, before tentatively smiling at each other and saying, ‘OK. Can we watch CBeebies now?’

  ‘Off you go,’ said Lauren, with relief. She picked up her phone and rang Troy.

  Half an hour later she was ushering Troy into the lounge. His slightly scruffy appearance looked out of place in her calm and tidy lounge, with its comfy sofa, plumped up cushions and bright, breezy curtains with tie backs. Troy stood there, slightly uneasily, as if he were finding it difficult. He couldn’t have looked more awkward if he’d tried. The twins looked up at him, startled, as Lauren said, ‘Izzie, Immie, I want you to meet someone very special.’

  ‘Who’s that man?’ asked Izzie, pointing at Troy. It took all Lauren’s resolve not to clap her daughter instead of scolding her. She could see it all too clearly from Izzie’s point of view.

  ‘Don’t be rude, darling,’ said Lauren, very carefully. ‘This is your daddy.’

  ‘He’s not our daddy!’ said Izzie.

  ‘We don’t have a daddy!’ said Immi
e.

  No you don’t, thought Lauren, your daddy wasn’t there to see you born, hasn’t acknowledged a single birthday, and has only seen you once. What kind of a daddy is that?

  ‘No girls, you do have a daddy,’ said Lauren. ‘Remember I explained it to you, Daddy was a bit busy and had to go away, and couldn’t see you. But now he’s back and he’ll be able to spend lots of time with you. Won’t you, Daddy?’

  She shot Troy a warning look.

  ‘Yes, that’s right, girls,’ said Troy, his voice thick with emotion. ‘I’m going to stay around here and we can all get to know each other. Now which one of you is Izzie, and which one is Immie?’

  Lauren winced. He couldn’t even tell them apart. This was never going to work.

  ‘We’re Izzie and Immie,’ the girls said defiantly.

  ‘Right, so let me guess – you’re Immie?’

  ‘No, I’m Izzie,’ Immie said, ‘that’s Immie.’

  ‘Girls,’ said Lauren warningly. ‘They’re teasing you. It’s their favourite party trick. That’s Izzie and that’s Immie. You can tell the difference by their partings.’

  ‘OK,’ said Troy, looking a bit shell-shocked, ‘so you’re Immie and you’re Izzie?’

  ‘Yes,’ they said in unison.

  ‘And what do you like doing best?’ said Troy.

  ‘Park,’ said Immie.

  ‘Picnic,’ said Izzie.

  ‘That sounds a great idea,’ said Troy. ‘Why don’t we all go out for lunch?’

  ‘Don’t want to,’ said Immie.

  ‘Not with you,’ said Izzie.

  ‘Izzie,’ said Lauren, in a warning tone. She could only cut them so much slack. ‘Maybe that’s a bit ambitious for today,’ she said. ‘But we could go to the park if you like.’

  The girls grudgingly capitulated, and she sent them to get their coats.

  Troy said, ‘That was hard work. Do you think they’ll always be this hostile?’

  ‘What the bloody hell did you expect?’ Lauren stared at him in disbelief. ‘Actually that went quite well. They have been known to blank people they don’t like completely.’