Fighting to Save US

by Sarah Stevens

  “Will do. Thanks, bro. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Bye.”

  I make my way back in and look for Bren’s room. When I get there, I notice there are already flowers in the windowsill that were waiting for her arrival. “Who sent you flowers already? They’re beautiful,” I say with a touch of jealousy running through my blood.

  “Looks like Jackson had them sent this morning, and they had them waiting at the nurses’ station for when I arrived. They are beautiful, aren’t they?”

  “Yes, they are. How are you feeling? And just so you know, you’re the most beautiful thing in this room.”

  “I’m okay actually. Sore and tired, but not in too much pain. I’m sure all that will change as the medicine wears off from surgery, but I’m in the best place to take care of any pain I may get.” She smiles at me. She’s definitely stress-free and pain-free from the anesthesia, but give her an hour or two and I’m sure she’ll be singing a different tune.

  We all settle into her room and let her rest, but I have her hand gripped in mine, and I don’t plan on letting go unless I’m made to.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Bren

  I wake up, and I’m still surrounded by all my family. Max is right next to me, holding my hand, leaning over the edge of the bed, asleep. My mom is asleep in one chair and my dad in the other. I hate to wake them, but the pain has increased, and I need something for it. I shift a little, cringing as a sharp pain shoots through by lower stomach. Max stirs.

  “Are you okay?” he asks as he shoots up like he was never asleep.

  “Not really. The pain is really bad right now. Can you push that button for me?” He pushes the button and a look of worry rests on his face. I know he wants to help take the pain away, but he can’t. The nurse quietly comes into my room and checks my vitals after she asks me what my pain level is.

  “I’d have to say a nine or a ten. I woke up, and it just hit me.” She checks my chart that is on a clipboard at the foot of my bed and reads that I can get a dose of pain meds. She goes out of the room to get the medicine, and Max still hasn’t let go of my hand.

  He kisses my knuckles and whispers, “I love you.”

  My nurse returns with the syringe containing my pain meds and puts it through the IV. Within seconds I start to feel the effects as my eyelids get heavy. “This is going to make her drowsy, and she still needs lots of rest. Visiting hours will end in about an hour, and everyone will need to leave then.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Max states matter-of-fact to her and goes back to looking at me, kissing my knuckles.

  “Well. I’ll have to see if the doctor will allow it.” She walks out of my room.

  “You don’t have to be so rude to her. She’s just doing her job. I’ll be fine. Go on home, get some rest and a shower. I’ll be here waiting for you in the morning.”

  “I don’t want to leave you, Bren. Please don’t make me,” he begs.

  “I know you don’t, but I’ll be sleeping and being checked on all night. I’ll be fine. Go eat, rest and shower. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.”

  My parents wake up, and we talk for a few minutes before I really need to close my eyes and sleep. They leave with promises to come back first thing in the morning and press kisses to my forehead. All that is left is Max, and I have to try my hardest to convince him to leave. Jackson apparently sent Mike over earlier in the evening to take guard outside my door. Mike had returned to Portland around lunchtime with Max’s SUV, came by the hospital to get the key to the apartment and returned to the hospital around the end of visitor time.

  “Max, I love you, but Mike will be here right outside my door, so no one will bother me. Please go home and get some rest, and I’ll see you in the morning. I need to sleep anyway. The pain is better, and I know I’m being taken care of by the best doctors and nurses in Portland.”

  Reluctantly, he stands and releases my hand for the first time in hours. He leans over me, brushing his lips across mine then kisses my forehead. “I love you so much. I don’t want to go, but I also know you’re trying to look out for me. I’ll eat, shower, and take a quick nap, and I’ll be back before you know it.”

  He starts toward the door to my room and slowly leaves, keeping his eyes on me until the door closes in front of him. I can hear him talk to Mike on the other side, making sure that he knows not to leave and that he will be back in a few hours. I finally hear his footsteps walking down the hallway as I let myself fall asleep.

  All through the night I get visits from the nurse on duty to check my vitals and give me medicine when it’s needed. As time goes, the pain gets a little less. It’s still dark outside when I hear my door slowly creak open, wondering who it could be this soon after my last nurse visit.

  I should have expected the person on the other side was going to be Max—I knew he couldn’t stay away too long.

  “What time is it?”

  “Almost five in the morning.”

  “Did you eat and get some sleep? I know you showered because you smell good,” I say with a small grin.

  “I ate, and yes, you’re right, I showered, but I had trouble with the sleep part. I couldn’t stop thinking about you here alone, so I tossed and turned.”

  I scoot myself over to the side and tell him to come here. The bed is small, but we do the best we can. He lies down next to me slowly while trying not to jostle me too much. Once we get settled and my hand is back in his, we both fall asleep.

  Hours have passed when the nurse comes back. “Look who snuck in. How are you doing, Bren? What’s your pain level?”

  “I’m good. The pain is more like a five or six. Still hurts to move, but when I’m resting it’s manageable. It feels like I have the worst period cramps in the world, more than anything.”

  “That’s actually what I want to hear. By now it should be more like cramps, and since the incision was laproscopic and not across your abdomen, the healing is quicker. If you continue on this path, the doctor may release you first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “That would be awesome. This big oaf needs to get a decent night’s sleep, and it won’t be happening here. He gets grumpy with no sleep.” We both chuckle and then hear Max.

  “I don’t get grumpy.”

  With that tired response, we both laugh out loud, knowing that he’s now awake. Max looks up and says, “Hi, beautiful, how are you feeling?”

  “Hey, pretty good, actually. The nurse here just said I may be able to go home first thing in the morning.”

  “That’s awesome, babe.”

  “I’ll leave you two to it. Call if you need me or anything for the pain.”

  She leaves, and it’s just Max and me again as we cuddle together and lie there in comfortable silence.

  My parents come by to visit. Jackson makes an appearance, saying he was in town for business, but I know all too well that I was his business. Kat and James stop by later in the morning with Steph, and we all have a little party going on with fresh coffee and laughter when the doctor comes in for his morning rounds.

  “Well, I know where the party’s at today.” James kindly hands my doctor a coffee cup.

  “Best coffee I’ve tasted in a long while, thank you. Now, Bren, how are you feeling today?”

  “Really good actually. It feels like cramping more than anything, but I have some pain when I move around. All in all, I feel really good.”

  “Well, that is great to hear. Let me take a look at your chart and see when we can get you out of here.”

  After a few minutes, he looks up at me and says, “Since you have cut way back on your pain medication, I think I can let you go first thing in the morning. I’ll have your paperwork all ready so after I check on you it will be an easy release. Then, I want to see you in my office in about two weeks for a follow up. Does that sound good?”

  “Sounds amazing.”

  We continue to visit with everyone for a while longer, then the afternoon nurse comes in to ch
eck on me and remind everyone when visiting hours end. Everyone starts to trickle out of my room to eat dinner and get some rest of their own. Max helps me get to the bathroom before we settle into my bed for the night and watch some TV while we wait for sleep to take over us.

  The next morning, with paperwork in my hand and a wheelchair to roll me out, I am officially released from the hospital. Thankfully, while the nurse was wheeling me down, Max went to retrieve my rental car to bring up front to pick me up. I'm glad he opted not to drive his big, jacked-up SUV, because that may have been a bit painful to try to get into.

  Once I get settled into the passenger’s seat, Max runs around to the driver’s seat and off we go home.

  Chapter Thirty

  Max

  The past forty-eight hours have taken a toll on me, but I don’t care. Bren is my top priority. I’ve had a hard time releasing Bren’s hand since she woke up from surgery and again I have her hand in mine as I drive toward home.

  Mike's been crashing at my place, so he can stay close in case we need him, but I'm hoping we don't have to use him for anything. I pull up to the front of our building and double park with my hazard lights on. I get out and quickly run around to help Bren, who, being the stubborn girl that she is, tries to get out by herself.

  “Slow down, I’ve got you,” I tell her as I then grab her bag from the back seat. I don’t care if I get a ticket for being double parked like I am; I fully intend to help Bren up to our place. We really need an elevator in this building, I think to myself as we make our way slowly up the three flights of stairs. After a few steps I pick her up and start to carry her, even with her protesting that she can do it herself. I get Bren settled on the couch with an order not to move, rush back down to the car, and park it in her normal spot in the alley.

  When I enter her apartment again, I see that she’s listened to my order and is searching through Netflix for a movie to watch. I take a second in the doorway to admire her, the girl I’m madly in love with, whom I’ve almost lost on more than one occasion. I’m one lucky bastard and never thought I would be this happy with anyone, ever.

  Bren looks over in my direction and catches me staring, “What’s going on in that head of yours?” she asks with a worried look on her face.

  “Just thinking that I’m lucky to be here with you. After everything, and all my screw-ups this last year, I never thought I would be this happy ever.” I walk my way to her side and gently sit down next to her, pulling her back into my chest. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Bren, but I damn well will make sure I don’t screw up again. I can’t lose you, and I certainly don’t plan on it. I love you with all that I am.”

  “I love you too, Max. I’ve had my own share of screw-ups this year too. Made us lose too much time with my stubbornness and fear. I promise you I’ll do all that I can to fight this shit living in my body, and I’m stronger with you by my side. You are everything to me and more.”

  With the words we have both spoken to each other, there really isn’t anything else to say as I kiss her temple and settle in to watch a chick flick with my arms wrapped around my girl. I’m never letting go.

  When I open my eyes, I notice that I’m still on the couch, and Bren is still in my arms. We fell asleep on the couch, and I immediately know that it can’t be comfortable for Bren after her surgery. It’s only noon, so I slowly remove myself from under her and gently pick her up to carry her to her bed. She stirs a little, and I hear a groan as I set her down in her bed, I leave her with a light kiss to her lips and go make myself a cup of coffee and something to eat.

  Another hour has passed when Bren wakes up and starts to make enough noise to alert me she needs some help.

  “Max, do you know where my pills are? I need something for the pain.”

  Immediately I speed into the living room, where I left her bag, grab her pills, and swing by the fridge for a bottle of water.

  “Right here.” I take out the dose indicated on the bottle and hand them to her. I feel like I could sleep for an entire day, but Bren needs me. I go into the kitchen to make her a cup of coffee then walk back into the bedroom, and she’s gone. For a quick second my heart rate spikes, then I hear her in the bathroom. I hate that my job does this to me, making me always watch my back and watch out for those I love. But, if it wasn’t for Jackson I would’ve never made it this far in life and never would’ve met Bren, so for that I’m grateful.

  She steps out of the bathroom, and I hand her the cup. “For you, my love.”

  “Thank you, I needed this. You would think with all the rest that I’ve had I wouldn’t feel this tired, but it’s the exact opposite. I’m exhausted.”

  With a peck to her lips, I pull back. “Besides exhausted, how are you doing?”

  “Still crampy and feels like the period from hell, but I'll be okay. Thank you for all that you've done for me. I love you.” She leans toward me and kisses my shoulder, obviously too sore to stretch for my face.

  “Anything for you, babe. Now, let’s get you settled in the living room, and I’ll make you some lunch. While you eat, I’m going to go to my place, take a shower and change, and also make sure Mike has everything that he needs.”

  “Okay, but I have an idea. I know you gave me a key to your apartment because you thought it was too soon to move in together, but I don’t think it is. Mike needs a permanent place to live here, and I know you hate sharing your place with him. So why don’t you just move in here? You have my heart, Max, and I don’t ever want it back. You belong here. I want you here with me. What do you say?”

  “Yes,” is all I say as I take her face in my hands and devour her mouth. I finish the kiss with a few soft lingering kisses and pull myself back from her. “I love your idea. It's perfect. I'll go pack my stuff now.”

  “Whoa! Wait a minute, what about my lunch?” she says with hands on her hips, glaring at me.

  “Right, lunch. I’m on it.” I gently kiss her lips again as I go into the kitchen to make her food.

  “That’s what I thought,” she says as she takes a seat on the couch with a grin.

  I guess I got a little excited and my brain went on a one-track path. A week ago, I was a bum sitting in a cold apartment with nobody around me. And today, I’m taking care of the girl who has my whole heart, forever, and who wants me to move in with her. I couldn’t be happier.

  Lunch is made and served, and then I’m over at my place to pack a bag. With Mike staying here, there really isn’t anything besides clothes that I need. I don’t have anything personal around, just my clothes, bathroom stuff and furniture. I let Mike know what’s going on and that the place is his if he wants it. Then I make a call to Jackson.

  “Stop looking for a place for Mike. He’s got one. Bren wants me to move in with her and obviously, I said yes.”

  “Ha, you know what? I never even started looking for a place. I’m not stupid, Max. I knew after a few days back you would be willing to give Mike your place, but I’m happy for you. You both deserve this chance to be happy, but you better not fuck this up again, because next time I won’t help you. You’ll be on your own.”

  “Thanks, man, I appreciate the confidence you had in our situation. I have no plans on screwing anything up with Bren ever again. I’m in it for the long haul. I do have a quick question for you though. Do I still have a job, and if so, what is it?”

  “Max, you will always be on my payroll, even if I don’t have work for you every day. Just keep everyone in Portland safe like you’ve been doing, and if I need you here, I’ll let you know. Sound good?”

  “Sounds good.”

  “How’s Bren doing? She looked really good yesterday when I was there.”

  “She says she’s good, that it’s mostly cramping, but I can tell that she may be bending the truth a bit by the way she is walking around the apartment. But then again I’m no woman and have no idea what cramps feel like on a good day.”

  “Ha, yeah, I feel ya there. How long until we find ou
t if they got everything and need to do the chemo?”

  “As far as I know, the treatment is scheduled to start in about three weeks. She goes for her post-op appointment in two weeks, as long as there are no problems. I’m hoping that they’ll be able to tell by then if they got everything during surgery. I really hope that she won’t need the additional treatments.”

  “Me too, man, me too. Keep me updated and give Mike your key. I’ve already talked with the landlord there and have paid the rest of the rent on the lease. I knew it wouldn’t take long for you two to see what everyone else sees around you. I’ve got to go, but like I said, keep me updated. “

  “You’re a crazy motherfucker. I’ll keep you updated and give Mike the key. Have a good one. Bye, bro.”

  “Bye.”

  I leave my room, with my duffle filled to the brim with all of my belongings, and hand Mike the key.

  “Jackson told me to give you this. Enjoy your new place. If you need anything, I’m down the hall at Bren’s apartment— I guess our apartment now.”

  “Jackson already told me that this would most likely happen. I’m glad it all worked out with Bren. Thanks for the key.” We man-hug really quickly, then I grab my bag up off the floor and walk out the door, out of my old place and into my new. Things sure are starting to fall into place for me. Now, I just need to worry about Bren and taking care of her. I pause in the hallway, lost in my thoughts, before I approach my new door. Everything has to work out with Bren. She’ll beat the crap out of this cancer, and I’ll not run away, scared from her or this. Hoping my little pep talk to myself works, I enter my new place and my future. I hope.

  Chapter Thirty-One