“You can go out now. I’m fine, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re not fine, but I know you’re not leaving.”
“Tell him I’m sorry.” The tears started again, and I had to take a moment to compose myself. “Tell him I did what I thought I had to.”
She nodded. “I can’t promise I’ll use those words, but I’ll let him know.”
“Thanks.”
She walked out of the room closing the door behind her.
I stretched out on Hunter’s bed, but I knew there was no way I was going to sleep. Tired or not, there were way too many things going on in my mind. I got up and walked over to the window. It looked out the opposite side of the house from where I thought Gage was, but it still helped to look out at the night. He was out there somewhere, and hopefully sometime soon I’d get to see him again.
Chapter Three
Hunter
I wasn’t thrilled that Marni had left Mary Anne alone, but she did seem to have a calming effect on Gage. She was the only one who could get near him without setting him off, once he stopped worrying about why she wasn’t with Mary Anne.
I wasn’t going to allow him near Mary Anne for a while. He was volatile, and his feelings for Mary Anne were even more intense now that he’d made the transformation. They’d fade, at least back to where they were before, once he got used to his new being. They might also disappear forever. I didn’t know much about the experience of being transformed, and I’d only met one wolf who had been. In the other case the Dire was nothing like the man he was before. I wasn’t sure what would be easier for any of us. I only hoped he’d accept his new life quickly. That acceptance would make things much easier on him.
I slipped out while Gage was calm and talking with Chet. I didn’t want him to see me leaving, because he’d know exactly where I was going. I needed to check on Mary Anne. I couldn’t wait a moment longer.
I walked inside, not bothering to remove my boots until I reached my room. I pushed open the door, expecting to see her in my bed. But the bed was empty. The room was cold. The fire was roaring, but it could do nothing to hold off the chill coming in through the window.
“Mary Anne?” I strode toward where she stood in front of the open window.
She didn’t turn around. I put a hand on her arm. She was like ice. “You’re freezing.” With my free hand I closed the window. “You need to stay warm.”
“Why?” Her eyes were emotionless. Gone was the light that seemed to brighten even the darkest room.
“Why?” I cupped her cold face with my hands, hoping some of my warmth would jump to her. “Because I care about you. Because your comfort and health matter to me.”
“You don’t get sick from the cold.”
“That’s not the only kind of health I’m talking about.” I gazed right into her eyes. “Please let me warm you.”
“I don’t have a choice, do I?” She closed her eyes like she didn’t even want to look at me.
“Not on this. Not on you being warm.”
She slowly opened her eyes. “But on everything else?” There was a vulnerability to her voice that cut right through me. I knew she wasn’t innocent, but the events of the past week were weighing on her, making her seem so much more fragile.
“You want to be with me. I know that. I also know that you need time. I will give you time. If I know you’re safe, I can give you all the time you need.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“You did what I asked, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful.”
“He’ll come around to it, and he will eventually appreciate your decision.”
“I hope so.” She clasped her hands together.
“Are you willing to lie down now?”
She shook her head. “I said I’d agree to stay warm, but I don’t want to get in bed. I can’t.”
“Want to sit downstairs instead?”
She didn’t reply at first, and I wondered if she was waiting for a third option. One involving her going outside to see Gage, which wasn’t an option she was going to get. “I’d prefer that.”
“That’s fine.” I took her much smaller hand in mine. Her hand was cold, just like the rest of her. “I know it’s been an overwhelming day for you, and you need to rest. But I also understand that you don’t want to sleep.”
We walked down the stairs without talking. There were so many things I wanted to say, and so many questions to ask, but this wasn’t the time for it.
I waited for her to take a seat on the couch before covering her up with a blanket. I stoked the fire, making sure it wouldn’t die out.
“Thank you.” She wrapped the blanket around her.
“You’re welcome.” I slipped under the blanket next to her. I needed to help keep her warm, at least that’s the excuse I was going to give her if she asked why I was sitting so close. The truth was I needed her close. I didn’t want to tell her what changing Gage had taken from me. I’d be fine eventually, but right now the only thing that was going to help was having her next to me.
“Why is your heart beating faster?” She turned to look at me.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s beating faster than usual. It sounds like it’s going to beat right out of your chest.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“That just makes me worry more.”
“I’m glad you’re worrying about me at all.” I gazed into her eyes.
She gripped the blanket tightly in her fist. “What don’t I know? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing.”
“Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not lying. I’m just trying to keep some weight off you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
The front door opened and Chet walked in.
“Tell me,” she begged. “I need to know.”
“There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Tell her, Hunter. Tell her what you gave to save the ungrateful bastard.”
I glared at Chet. I’d finally gotten Mary Anne to calm down, now wasn’t the time to upset her more.
“What’s he talking about?” She put a hand on my shoulder. “Is it related to your heart?”
The feel of her hand on me even through my t-shirt sent a wave of excitement through me. It was all worth it. Anything and everything was worth it to have her. “I’m fine, but as I said before I do appreciate the concern.”
She didn’t move her hand. “Are you sure?”
“Would it matter if I wasn’t ok?” Maybe it wasn’t fair to ask her, but the answer seemed to matter more than ever.
“Yes.” She grazed her teeth over her lip. Was that a nervous gesture? I needed to learn all of her tells. There was so much I still didn’t know about the girl who I’d claimed as my mate, but I had a lifetime to learn every little detail.
I smiled for the first time since I’d returned to find Mary Anne missing. “That means you care about me.”
She pulled her hand away. “It means I’m not heartless, and I appreciate what you did.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It means you care.” I needed her to admit that she had feelings for me.
“I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”
“I’ll be fine.” I put an arm around her.
“Be fine? That implies you’re not fine now.”
“Just tell her, Hunter.” Chet snapped.
“Enough. Please leave us.” That was all I needed to say. Chet nodded and walked back out the way he came. I understood what he was doing, but I didn’t need him getting involved.
Mary Anne stared into the fire. “How old are you?”
“You suddenly worried I’m too old for you?” I laughed.
She turned to me. “Does that matter? I mean I no longer have any say.”
“I’m twenty-three.”
“Oh. I thought you were older.”
“I guess I haven’t aged well.”
“I guess you don’t have to worry about me being too old for you then, huh?”
“It’s older.”
“When do you turn nineteen?” I shifted on the couch, trying to get rid of even the small space between us.
“April.”
“What day?”
“The twenty-first.”
“Two days before my birthday. That means we’re less than five years apart.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Less than five years? We’re talking two days less.”
“It still counts.”
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against my arm.
“You can let yourself sleep.”
“I can’t.”
“You’re worried about him, but there is absolutely nothing you can do.”
“And that’s somehow supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, but it’s the truth. Do you think he wants you staying up all night?”
“Is he sleeping?” she asked quietly.
“Probably not.”
“Then why should I?”
“Because he doesn’t need as much sleep as you do anymore. Because you’re going to get sick if you don’t.”
“I can’t.”
“Just close your eyes.” I ran my hand up and down her arm. She didn’t move away. That was something.
“I can stay up and wait.”
I sighed. It was time to level with her. “It’s going to be days.”
“Days?” She sat up. “How can it take days?”
“He’s been completely transformed. He was human and now he’s a Dire. It takes a long time for your body to fully adjust to that.”
“Have you always been one?”
“Yes, all of us were born Dire.”
“Is Gage the first one you’ve changed then?”
“Yes.”
“How did you even know it would work?” She sat up. The way our conversation was going, she was never going to sleep.
“I didn’t. I only did it because there was no other choice.”
“But now that you did do it, he’s going to be ok. Right?”
“We can’t know for sure.” Lying to her about his chances wasn’t going to help my cause. Sure it would satisfy her in the short term, but it would only make things worse later. That didn’t mean I was going to tell her everything though.
Her face fell, and it about broke me.
“But his chances are good. He’s made it this far. It’s more that he needs to be strong enough to control both of his forms.”
“What happens otherwise?”
“I think you know the answer.”
“What? You’ll kill him? Is that what you’re saying?”
“That wouldn’t be my first choice, but this is already his second chance at life.”
“And whose fault is that, huh?” She stood up. “Why is he in this mess to begin with?”
“We were only trying to protect the community.”
“That’s why you ran us off the road, but why keep us here?”
“This isn’t the time for that discussion.”
“Then when is the time? What are you waiting for?”
“I’m waiting for you to rest. You’ll need a clear head to handle it.”
“What does it matter if I can handle it, huh? I mean I have no choices about what I do anymore anyway.”
“You had plenty of choices. I know you blame me for what happened to your friend, but what about your decision to run away like that? Even after I warned you.” I didn’t like putting blame on her, but she needed to understand that none of us were completely innocent. Besides, like it or not, things weren’t going to change. With me or not, she wasn’t going to be able to return to her old life, and Gage definitely couldn’t.
“So it’s all my fault? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
I stood up and took both of her hands in mine. She tried to pull them away, but I wouldn’t let her. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying? Tell me, because clearly I’m not getting it on my own.”
“I’m saying that we’re all part of this. And really, what does it matter now? What’s done is done.”
She sighed. “I changed my mind.”
“About?” I hoped she wasn’t going to try to get out of our agreement. I took her word seriously.
“Sitting down here. I’m going up to bed.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“I figured you’d say that.”
“Do you think I’m doing this to hurt you?” I looked deep into her eyes.
“What am I supposed to think? You know who I want to be with.”
Her words stung, but I couldn’t let that get me down. “You’re going to understand you belong with me. All of this happened for a reason.”
“Nothing happens for a reason.” She headed toward the stairs.
I followed behind her. “That’s not true. You can’t believe everything that happens in the universe is random.”
“What?” She turned to look at me over her shoulder. “Are you a religious wolf?”
“It has nothing to do with religion. It’s just life.”
She continued up the stairs. She hesitated in the hallway, and I could tell she was debating between my room and the guestroom. Whichever one she chose, I was going to follow. I needed her with me whether she liked it or not.
“I suppose asking to sleep alone is out of the question?”
“It is.”
“Then why don’t we get this over with, huh?” She walked toward my room.
“Get what over with?”
“The sex. The mating. Whatever the hell I’m expected to do.”
“Get it over with? That implies it’s something bad. It’s not. It’s good. For both of us.”
“How is any of this good for me?” She ran a hand through her long red hair.
I caught up with her and put my hands on her hips. I expected her to brush me off, but for once she didn’t. I knew it was more from exhaustion than anything, but I still took it as a win. She needed to get used to my touch. “It’s good for you.”
“Tell me why.”
I couldn’t tell her, but I could show her. I brushed my lips against hers. They were so soft.
“Hunter.” She said my name in a whisper that made me wonder if she wanted me to stop or continue.
I took the safe route. “Let’s go to bed.”
She nodded and walked into my room. She disappeared into the bathroom. While I waited for her to finish, I stripped down and put on a pair of boxer shorts. I’d have preferred to sleep naked, but I wanted to respect Mary Anne’s comfort for the first few nights. She needed to get used to being with me at her own pace whether I wanted to wait patiently or not. For that reason, I wasn’t going to say a word about what she wore to bed.
I was standing just outside the door when she walked out. She stepped back as her eyes raked over me. I loved having her eyes on me, especially since she wasn’t able to hide her reaction. She was attracted to me, and it was about time she stopped denying it.
“Would you mind sleeping in more clothing?”
“More clothing? I’d prefer to sleep in less.”
“Less? How can you be in less?” She gestured at me.
“Easy. Would you like me to show you?” I teased.
The look of shock on her face had me grinning. For a girl who wasn’t completely innocent she sure acted that way. “No thanks.”
“Would you mind taking off clothing?” Two could play at that game.
“I’m wearing the right amount.” She pointed to the tank top and pants she wore.
“The right amount would be none.” I didn’t bother to keep the heat out of my words and eyes. She knew how much I wanted her. There was no sense in pretending otherwise. I held up the blankets.
“That’s not happening.” She slipped into my bed.
With
a satisfied smile I walked around to my side. “It’s going to happen eventually.”
“How soon is eventually?”
“As soon as you’re ready.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
I pulled her into my arms, wrapping her body up with my arms and legs. “You’ll be ready.”
“How are you always so warm?” She asked without moving away. She seemed relaxed enough in my arms despite her earlier hesitation.
“It’s part of being a Dire.”
“So that means that—”
I didn’t need to hear her say his name while in my bed. “Yes, he’ll run warm too. That’s why you don’t need to worry about him out there. He’s not bothered by the cold anymore.”
“I’m the only human here.”
“Does that bother you?” I rested my chin on top of her head. It felt so good to have her in my arms.
“Kind of.”
“Why?”
“Because being different is overrated.”
“Is it? It’s better than being like everyone else.”
She laughed dryly. “I’ve never fit in. Never.”
“Well, you fit in here whether you like it or not.”
“But I’m human.”
“And you’re going to be my mate. Besides, even without that you fit here. Couldn’t you feel it the moment you stepped into my home?”
“I was afraid when I got here.”
“No you weren’t.” I gently rubbed her back.
“How would you know?”
“You were frightened of being stranded, but you were never fearful of us.”
“Stop trying to get into my head.” She squirmed in my arms.
“I’m not trying to get into your head. You’re easy to read.”
“If I’m that easy to read, then why didn’t you know I would run?” She paused. “Twice.”
“I knew you were conflicted about it.”
“I wasn’t conflicted. I knew I was doing it.”
“You were conflicted, sweetheart.”
“Sweetheart?” She picked her head up. “Are you really going to call me that?”
“Do you have a preferred term for me to use? I suppose you don’t want me calling you baby yet?”
“Is that a joke?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I don’t get you. One minute you’re serious, the next you’re cracking jokes.”
Dire Page 2
