“That’s just me.”
“In another situation I’d probably like you.”
“In another situation?” I rolled us over so she was on top of me.
“Hunter.”
“Yes?”
“I’m not lying on top of you.”
“Except you are.”
She struggled against me, and I let her move to the side. “Not funny.”
“Why not? I was giving you a different view.”
“I can’t joke around tonight. It’s not fair.”
“What would be fair?” I leaned up on an elbow.
“I should be cold and outside.”
“I already told you he isn’t cold.”
“But he’s out there. I’m in here.”
“Would it make you feel better if I reminded you that you don’t have a choice? Do you want me to be mean? Should I tie you down and tell you in every barbaric term I know that you belong to me?”
“Stop it.”
“I can’t figure it out. I can’t figure out what you need from me right now.”
“I need to know he’s okay.”
“What you need to understand is that his wellbeing also depends on your wellbeing.” I turned away. “And mine.”
“What does that mean?” She put a hand on my shoulder.
“Nothing.”
“Stop!” She tried to force me to roll over. All that did was end with her on top of me again. “Stop giving me riddles and no answers. Tell me what our wellbeing has to do with his?”
“It wasn’t a one and done thing,” I admitted through gritted teeth. I’d been hoping to wait before sharing that particular detail.
“Meaning?”
“Once he adjusts, I have to do more.”
“Are you saying if I don’t make you happy, you won’t do it?” There was anger and hurt in her voice that didn’t belong. She was right, it was time to give her answers.
I rolled her over so I was hovering above her. “I have to give part of myself, part of my strength to do it. I already did it once, and I have to do it again. That means I need strength. I know you’re focused on him, but eventually you’ll have to focus on me.”
“What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything. I’m letting you know changing Gage took a lot out of me. I lost part of myself to do it, and it’s going to take time until I’m really myself again.” I wasn’t sure how much I could tell her. Changing Gage had let my Dire side take over almost completely. It would take time to find the balance again. The only thing that helped was being around her. I needed to be gentle with her, so I was able to hold on to my human side. As soon as I left her my Dire side moved into control again.
“Is there something I should do?”
“Being near you helps.” I wanted to do a lot more than be near her, but I’d do what I could to wait.
“Helps how?”
“It relaxes me and keeps me calm. You remind me of the kind of man I want to be.”
“And you’ll eventually recover?” She rested her palm directly over the scar on my chest.
“I should.”
“I didn’t realize.” She ran her hand along the scar. “I didn’t realize what it cost you.”
“I didn’t want you to.” I looked down at her. At the girl who’d had me from the moment I saw her face. I’d been wrong last time with Vanessa. I wasn’t wrong this time.
“Where did you get this scar? And please don’t tell me that’s not for tonight. I’m getting tired of that line.” She seemed perfectly comfortable having me above her. Maybe she was starting to feel the connection that was so much bigger than either of us separately.
“I want you to get sleep.”
“I’d sleep better if I had answers.”
“I got it in a fight.”
“I assumed that much.”
“It was a fight I was lucky to win, and it’s indirectly why you’re here.”
“What are you talking about?” She groaned. “All you do is talk in riddles that make no sense to me.”
I picked up a strand of her hair and ran my fingers over it. “Can you tell me something first?”
“Maybe.”
I smiled. “Hesitation isn’t bad, but I promise this question is a safe one.”
“Okay.”
“Is this your natural hair color?”
“Yes.” Her brow wrinkled. “Why?”
“I’m curious about you, but you won’t tell me anything.”
I slowly let my body down so that I rested some of my weight on her. She relaxed down into the sheets. “Go to sleep, my Firefly.”
“Firefly?”
“Does that one bother you too?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.” I ran my lips over her neck. “It’s the name you were meant for.”
She moaned softly. I could have used it to my advantage to push things further, but I didn’t. Instead I moved off her and wrapped her up against me again.
“Sleep,” I whispered gently in her ear. She was going to need her rest to get through the next few days.
“Tell me one more thing,” she said sleepily. It was working. I was helping her relax.
“Yes.” I brushed my lips against her cheek. “Ask away.”
“Is your real name Hunter?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know. You’re part animal and your name is Hunter?”
I laughed. “It’s fitting then?”
“Yeah. Very fitting.” She yawned and snuggled into my side.
I waited until her breathing evened out before allowing myself to fall asleep. She was peaceful, warm, and safe. Everything else could wait until morning.
Chapter Four
Gage
Need. The word took on new meaning as I paced around the cramped wooden shed that was starting to feel far too small. I needed to run, I needed food, and I needed Mary Anne. At the moment the need for food was moving up on my list, but Mary Anne was still a close second.
“You can’t eat yet.” Marni hadn’t moved from her spot on the floor by the door of the shed for over an hour. If she was bored, she wasn’t showing it.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too soon.”
“Says who?”
“Says Hunter, and he’s in charge.”
“Maybe he’s wrong about this.” Maybe he was wrong about a lot of things.
“None of us can really be sure since we’ve never seen this done.”
I slid down to the floor. I’d been standing for hours, and even though I was nowhere near as tired as I should have been, it felt good to get off my feet. “I still can’t believe he did it.”
“He did it for her, not you.”
“Which is why she stupidly promised herself to him. My life wasn’t worth that.”
Marni groaned. “Stop it. You both make me sick.”
“What?”
“You act like you’re two star-crossed lovers forced apart. You’re not in love. Stop trying to pretend you are.”
“How would you know?”
“Because I know love when I see it.”
“Oh yeah? Is that so? I didn’t know monsters could feel love.”
She was on her feet and in my face before I could process it. “Monsters? Did you really just say that?”
“Maybe.”
She slapped me across the face. “I guess you’re one now too.”
“Not by choice.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“Why?” I moved to my feet. I didn’t want her looking down on me. “Why shouldn’t I feel sorry for myself? I’m a fucking monster and Hunter is with the girl I love. What isn’t there to feel sorry about?”
“You’re alive. How about that?”
“Big deal. I’d rather be dead.”
She slapped me again. “You’re an asshole.” She stormed out of the shed, slamming the door so hard it shook the small building.
“Way to go, idiot.” Semi took Marni’s place at the door.
“What’s her problem?”
“Her problem? More like yours. I can’t believe you said that to her.”
“What? You guys prize life that much?” I found it surprising considering how easily they were handing humans over to the witches.
“When you’ve known death, life has value.”
“It only has value if you get to live the life you want.” Having Mary Anne taken away and being stuck in a shed didn’t qualify as the life I wanted.
“Stop talking while you’re ahead.”
“I’m ahead?”
“Well further ahead than you’re going to be if you don’t shut up.” He opened the door. “I’ll be back in an hour with some meat. Try not to do anything too stupid.”
“Stupid? What the hell am I supposed to do in here that’s stupid?”
“Leaving would be stupid.” He stormed out and shut the door behind him. I heard a chain being latched. He was locking me in. What was the point of telling me not to leave?
I was back to pacing again. At least when Marni was with me I could talk to her. Now I was alone. It’s not that I particularly liked the female wolf, but she was better than the others.
I waited impatiently for the hour to be up. About thirty minutes later the door opened again. I expected it to be Semi with the food, but it was Marni.
“Sorry.” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was sorry for, but I didn’t want her to leave again.
“Don’t talk about wanting to die around me.” She gritted her teeth. “It’s going to make me mad.”
“I didn’t say I wanted to die, just that I wished—”
“Same thing.”
“I take it you’ve seen a lot of death.”
“We’re the only ones left.” She spoke softly, but she could have been screaming. My hearing was so heightened.
“What do you mean?”
“The only Dires. Well, there’s a pack in Europe and one more in Africa, but we’re practically the only ones.”
“You keep saying Dires. Aren’t we wolves?”
“We’re not just wolves.”
“Meaning?”
“Dires are bigger, stronger, smarter. Pretty much the most powerful shifters on earth.”
“Pretty much?”
“Pterons like to think they’re stronger, but we used to be on top.”
“Pterons?”
Marni sighed. “You don’t know anything about The Society, do you?”
“Not really.” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Here are the cliff notes. It’s run by a king who’s a Pteron. Think bird shifter, but he doesn’t turn into a bird, he just has giant wings.”
“Okay…” It sounded like she was describing an angel.
“Pterons hate us because we scare them. They’ve been hunting us down for generations, and as the years have gone by our numbers have dwindled to near extinction.”
“Why do we scare them?”
“Because we’re the only ones who could possibly take them out.” She smiled. “And you said we.”
“I guess I did. But are you telling me that Dires are strong enough to overthrow the king, yet you guys just hide out in the middle of nowhere?”
“Pretty much. Not everyone agrees. Falcon for example. But then again, he doesn’t agree with anything Hunter says.”
“Then why does he listen?”
“Because he has no choice. Hunter is the Alpha. You can’t disobey him.”
“But Falcon did.”
“And he’s still paying the price.” She rolled back her shoulders like she was feeling stiff. “And now Hunter’s going to have to physically send his commands. He hates doing it, but it’s important.”
“Physically?”
“Like get in your head and send them. Have you heard him yet?”
“Unfortunately.”
“He usually only does it when you first join the pack, but he’s doing it to all of us now.”
“But that doesn’t mean you have to listen.”
“No, but he has the right to kill you if you don’t….”
“Did he kill Falcon?”
“Not exactly… but he’s not doing a fun job.”
“What if I don’t want to join the pack?”
“Like you’d want to leave?” She watched me with surprise.
“Yes.”
“But that would mean leaving behind Mary Anne.”
“Yes.” There wasn’t a chance I was leaving her, but they didn’t need to know that. I had to find the holes.
“There’s no way he’s letting you leave for a while. You have to prove you can control yourself and stay undetected. If the royal family finds out there are any of us left, we’re all in trouble. That’s why Falcon can’t leave. He’s too hot headed. He’d get us all killed.”
So I needed to act calm. I needed to follow the rules and learn as much as I could as fast as I could. I could play the game. “When he’s in my mind giving commands, does that mean he knows what I’m thinking?”
“Not really. You have to send the thought to him if you want him to know it. He can’t just search for information in your mind.”
That was helpful. Very helpful. “But if I don’t want him to know…”
“Don’t think about Mary Anne. It’s bad for everyone.”
“How is she?” I couldn’t image how she was feeling. She’d promised herself to a monster to save my life. I hoped she realized that despite everything I still had the same goal. To take her and run far away from these people.
“I haven’t seen her since I was in here last.”
“You haven’t heard anything?”
Her face reddened, and I knew I was on to something. “What?”
“She was yelling at Hunter.”
I laughed. “That’s my girl.”
“But she’s not your girl, remember?” Marni’s eyes stared into mine. “You need to remember that.”
That was going to be the hardest part. Pretending I was over her. “I will.”
“Good. Do you want to go for a run?”
“As a wolf?”
“What else would I be talking about?”
“Sure.” I looked around. “How is this supposed to work? I have to take my pants off before I change?”
“Yes.” She laughed. “And you’ll have to get over your nudity issues. We’re animals, being naked is natural.” She pulled off her shirt and slipped out of her jeans. I immediately felt a sense of guilt, like I was wronging Mary Anne. Animal or not, I still cared.
I turned away and took off my pants.
“Hunter’s going to be seeing her naked plenty, fair is fair.” Marni opened the door and transformed into a sleek gray wolf.
The thought of Hunter seeing Mary Anne naked had me transforming in seconds. I burst through the doorway and headed for the woods. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to run.
The wind was exhilarating as I sprinted through the open clearing. I didn’t slow down as I reached the woods. The snow didn’t bother me, nor did the ice that fell off the branches onto my thick coat of fur.
After a few moments I realized Marni had caught up with me. She ran alongside, but I didn’t need to look to know she was there. I could sense her. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. It would be nice to know when the other Dires were around, but I didn’t want them to be able to sense me. If I was going to run away with Mary Anne, I was going to have to do it under the radar.
We ran for what felt like hours, and I probably never would have stopped if I hadn’t smelled meat. It looked like Semi had come through on his promise.
I looked back across the clearing toward the shed. If I could hold out for a few weeks I would get Mary Anne, and we’d leave these wolves once and for all.
Chapter Five
Mary Anne
I woke up to complete darkness. The fire had gone out, and Hunter must have gotten up and
closed the storm shutter. I couldn’t see a thing, and I was completely wrapped up in Hunter’s arms and legs. I wasn’t sure if the bone crunching hold was because he wanted me close or he was afraid I’d run off. Maybe it was both.
I needed to use the bathroom. That meant I’d have to get out of Hunter’s arms. Ideally I’d be able to do it without waking him up, but after a few attempts, I gave up.
“Hunter,” I whispered his name, hoping I could keep him somewhat asleep. That did nothing.
“Hunter,” I said louder while I pushed against his arm.
I thought wolves had good hearing. I didn’t understand how he could have been in such a deep sleep. I shoved him again. “Hunter!”
“Mary Anne!” he shouted, loosening his grip around me to settle on a new one with his hands on my arms. “Are you all right?”
I still couldn’t see anything. “I need to get out of bed.”
“Why would you do that?” There was suspicion in his voice that I knew wasn’t completely unfounded.
“I have to use the bathroom.”
“Oh.” He loosened his grip. “Got it.”
I got out of bed, wincing as the cold hit me. I needed to toughen up. I held my hand out in front of me in search of the door. I felt nothing. Two seconds later I walked into something hard. “Ouch.”
“Sorry, I was trying to help you.” Hunter’s voice came from right next to me.
“Oh. It’s you.”
“It’s me.” He took my hand. “The doors open. Want me to turn on the light?”
“Yes please.” I blinked a few times as I was blinded by the bathroom light. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Glad I could be of some use.”
“I’m sure that’s your greatest joy. Helping someone find the bathroom.”
“It’s not just someone. It’s you.” He stood there looking so serious.
“I’ve got to go.” I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. When would this stop being awkward? Would I ever get used to sharing a room and a bed with a man I barely knew? As much as I planned to keep to my word, I wasn’t ready to accept I was actually going to be with Hunter forever. It wasn’t possible. Eventually I’d have to return to my real life, I just didn’t know how.
I washed my hands and walked back out. Hunter was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Feel better?”
Dire Page 3
