Dire
Page 11
“Aren’t we all?” She held out her mug. “Want some?”
“I don’t need coffee.”
“It’s not coffee.”
I looked in the mug. “Scotch?”
“Yup.”
“Interesting choice of cup.”
“Interesting is a good way to describe me.”
“Let’s just say hypothetically we’d only been intimate a week.”
She laughed. “So how long have you known Hunter and his pack then?”
“A little bit less than that.”
“Gotcha.”
I wasn’t sure what she got exactly, but I didn’t care. “What did Hunter tell you?”
“Not much. But has anyone told you about his dreams yet?”
“His dreams?” I leaned back in the chair. “Do I want to know?”
“You do, because it’s the reason you are both in this situation to begin with.”
“What is it?”
“A few months ago Hunter called to tell us the time had come.”
“The time had come?”
“The time to end the hunt and for us to stop hiding.”
“That all sounds ok so far, but what does it have to do with dreams?”
She took a long sip of her scotch. “He knew the time had come because of dreams he was having. Dreams that were brought on by the magic of a witch he was dating.”
“Vanessa.” My hands balled into fists and the image of Jerry’s body flashed before my eyes. I wanted to be sick.
“I think that was her name.”
“What kind of dreams were they?”
“They were vivid dreams involving a girl who he now believes is Mary Anne. She told him she was the key to ending the hunt.”
“Uh, he thinks he was dreaming of Mary Anne before he met her?”
Jocelyn set aside her mug on a side table. “Magically enhanced dreams can be powerful.”
“Are you trying to tell me he kidnapped us because of a bunch of magical dreams?”
“Don’t make it seem trivial. He has every reason to believe in their truth.”
“What does he expect her to do?”
She picked up her mug again. “He doesn’t know. He thinks mating with her is going to suddenly tell him everything.”
“Oy.”
She laughed. “I thought you’d use a different word.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I know you want the girl for yourself, and I like her. She’s sweet in all the right ways, and she shouldn’t be tied to someone she doesn’t love. I almost was, but I fought it. The result was messy, but well worth it.”
“You think there’s a way for me to get her back? For this to work out another way?”
“If you or Mary Anne can end the hunt before they mate.”
“You can tell they aren’t mated?” Chet had given us explicit instructions to pretend they were already mated.
“Of course they aren’t. Hunter doesn’t give me enough credit.”
“But why would he want you to think so?”
“So we’d go along with everything he says without meddling. We want to end the hunt as much as he does.”
“Gotcha.”
She crossed her long legs. “Do you know what it took for him to change you?”
“Not really. I only know he has to do something else.”
“It messes the Alpha up. It causes them to lose hold of their human side.”
“Have you seen this before then?” I tried to stay calm, but did that mean Mary Anne was in danger? Was he as much a risk to her as I was?
She nodded. “Yes. Unfortunately.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say I know a lot about Alphas.”
“Uh…?”
“Drop it. That’s a story for another day.”
“Do I need to worry about Hunter hurting her?”
“No. He won’t. She calms him. The problem is he’s probably in even more of a rush to mate with her. Mating would bring him back to his old self much faster than just waiting.”
“In other words, I need to come up with a plan fast.”
“Exactly.” She moved to standing.
“Wait. But how does Hunter finishing my transformation fit in? Will I really die without it?”
“Most likely.” She wrapped an arm around her waist. “Remember that Hunter may like Mary Anne, but what he wants most is ending the hunt. You deliver that to him and he’ll let her go. He knows how you two feel about each other. I’m half convinced that’s why he’s waited so long. He wants those feelings to fade.”
“Does he actually care that much?”
“He’s not a bad man. He’s just a desperate one.”
“A desperate man is a dangerous one.”
“Don’t forget that.” She walked inside.
I sat outside a few minutes longer. I was in no rush to return inside. I was going to get Mary Anne back. There had to be a way out of this mess. I needed more information about The Society before I could do anything. I also needed to find a way to talk to Mary Anne. How did she feel? I refused to believe she’d resigned herself to a fate that involved Hunter. There was something real between us, and I wasn’t giving up, especially now that there might actually be hope.
Chapter Fifteen
Mary Anne
Hunter closed and locked the door. “Where were we?”
“I was about to take a shower. I really don’t care whether you join me or not.” I pulled off my sweater and headed toward the bathroom. I’d never bothered with my bra, and it was still in my jacket pocket. I knew removing my cami meant going topless, but I found I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. Still, I waited until I’d turned on the water in the huge shower, complete with four different shower heads, before pulling it off.
“Mary Anne?” Hunter called my name from behind me.
I slipped off my jeans, socks, and underwear without turning around. I was over caring. I was over fighting. I was on the losing side of a battle, and pretending I had a chance of winning was pointless.
I knew he was watching and waiting. “I’m getting in. Like I said, I don’t care if you join me.” I stepped in and walked right under the stream of one of the higher shower heads.
It was one of those open showers without a door, so I knew he could still see me. I didn’t care. I couldn’t care anymore.
“Mary Anne? Are you all right?”
I kept my eyes closed as the water poured over me. “I’m fine.”
“You are so beautiful.” He whispered the words. “So unbelievably beautiful.”
I tried to ignore it. I tried to ignore that he was watching me. Maybe if I could just numb myself enough the pain and confusion would eventually fade away.
I stepped outside of the spray and opened my eyes, not surprised to find him standing inches away from me in the shower. His eyes were devouring my body, so I allowed my eyes to move over his muscular form. Hunter was hung. Hung like no man I’d ever seen before. And that both terrified and excited me. I didn’t want to feel excited, but I did. Despite everything, I was attracted to the man. I wanted to believe he was causing me to feel that way, but maybe he wasn’t. I’m sure most women would have been attracted to Hunter.
He took a step toward me, and my body froze. Was this it? Had I given him the green light?
He took my face in his hands and gently kissed me. I’d expected him to be demanding, but instead he was sweet. “Thank you, for this.”
“You’re thanking me for taking a shower with you?”
“For letting me finally see my mate.” He released my face and let his hands move down my arms, and then the sides of my body. He kept his hands moving until they settled on my hips. “For letting me see how much I get to enjoy.”
He left tiny kisses all along my neck and down to my shoulder. “There are so many things I want to do with you. So many things I want to experience.”
I said nothing. Instead I close
d my eyes. I was overwhelmed with such a mix of emotions I could barely breathe. His lips felt good, but they weren’t the lips I wanted on me. I knew in the deepest parts of me they’d never be. I was too in love with Gage to want another man.
“But I am a man of my word.” He moved his hands from my hips.
I opened my eyes.
“You only invited me in because you were hurt. I took advantage of that, but I’m not taking it further. It’s in your hands now.” He stepped back. “So what will it be, Mary Anne?”
I moved under the shower head again. Without Hunter touching me my body was cold. I wasn’t going to make it any easier for Hunter. Who was I kidding? Nothing was magically going to get better once I gave in.
“That’s what I thought.” He moved under another shower head and rinsed off. He reached for a bar of soap.
I tried not to watch, but I couldn’t help it. He finished up and crossed the shower again to stand next to me. He handed me the soap before leaning in and kissing me lightly. “I’ll be waiting for you in bed.”
“Okay.”
He walked out of the shower. “Take your time. There’s no rush.” He closed the bathroom door behind him.
I let out a deep breath. What was that? What had just happened? I’d invited Hunter in to shower with me, but he’d been the gentleman he always seemed to be and didn’t push it. I washed my hair and body before turning off the water and grabbing a towel.
I didn’t hear anything from the other room, but I knew I wasn’t going to be lucky enough to find him sleeping. I was going to have to face him after literally baring it all. It definitely wasn’t going to make the night any easier.
I toweled off my hair and slipped into the silky nightgown I assumed Jocelyn had left out for me. It felt smooth and cool against my skin. I waited another few moments before venturing into the dark bedroom. I slid into bed, knowing full well that Hunter was waiting on the other side.
“Hey.” He pulled me into his arms.
“Hi.” I stared up at the ceiling. “This is so awkward.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” He ran his hands over my arms. “It can just be a couple getting to know each other.” His hand moved to my waist and then back up. I kept thinking he was going to move it over to touch my breast, but he didn’t. I wasn’t sure I could handle him touching me. The shower hadn’t numbed me the way I’d hoped it would.
“So, were you right?”
“Right about what?” he whispered in my ear.
“Did my body match the dream?” I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what I wanted him to say. Would anything change if it didn’t? Would he realize I wasn’t meant to be his mate?
“Exactly…” He kissed my arm. “Although like everything else about it, you’re even better in person.”
“I can’t believe I did that.”
“Did what?”
“Invited you to shower with me.” There was something cathartic about saying what I wanted to say. I didn’t have the energy to hold back my thoughts and feelings anymore.
“It wasn’t much of an invitation. You were upset. I should probably be mad at myself for following you in, but I’m not. You’re going to be my mate. I needed to make sure you were all right.”
“You followed me in because you were checking on me?”
“Partially. You scare me sometimes, Firefly.”
“Why?” I tried to relax my body. I was so tense.
“Because you’re unhappy. I never want you unhappy.”
“Can you really blame me?”
“No. This whole situation is a mess, but it’s all going to work out. I only wish you remembered the dreams.”
“What makes you think I even had them?”
“I don’t know that for sure, but I wish you had. I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing myself on you. I want it to be the way it was. When you wanted me as much as I wanted you.” Hunter sounded more vulnerable than ever. How could a man be so frustratingly confident one minute, and so discouraged the next?
“And what if that never happens?”
“It will. When you’re my mate you’ll be happy, but I wish it could happen before.”
“I’m not sure I believe in happiness anymore.”
He ran his thumb over my cheek. “I’ll change that. I promise I will.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I never do.” He wrapped me up even tighter in his arms. “Sleep well, Firefly.”
“You too.” There was no way I was going to sleep.
Or so I thought. I woke up with a start sometime later. I sighed. I had this uncontrollable urge to touch Hunter. To be touched. I tried to deny the feelings and go back to sleep, but it was impossible.
Light spilled out from the bathroom, illuminating the muscular body next to me. I swallowed hard. Did he always look that good? I finally gave in and spoke his name softly. “Hunter.”
“I’m right here.” He heard me right away this time. Maybe he wasn’t sleeping either.
I had to ask him. I had to know if my feelings were real. I hoped they weren’t. I didn’t want to want Hunter, and I certainly didn’t want to need him. But need was the only way to describe the way I was feeling. “Are you making me feel this way? Is this some Dire trick?” I was sweating. My body was on fire with need. What was going on with me?
“I’m not doing anything.” He turned us so we were looking at each other. He was so aroused and wearing nothing at all, and I realized if I moved he could be inside of me within seconds. Why was I thinking about that?
I closed my eyes shut tight. I refused to look into his eyes. “I’m not supposed to want you.”
“Yes you are.” He brushed hair away from my face. “You’re always supposed to want me.”
“No I’m not. I only agreed to this to help Gage. I don’t even like you.” I fumbled with the nightgown. I fought the urge to pull it off.
“That’s not true. Don’t pretend. Neither of us are going to believe it. You did this to help Gage and because you want to be with me.” He pulled me up on top of him. Our bodies were pressed so close together. “Why else did you invite me into the shower? You wanted me to see you. You wanted me to touch you.” He pulled my night gown over my head. As soon as he tossed it, he took my breast in his mouth, and I moaned. He rested his head back down on the pillow. “See, no need to pretend. Your body tells me all I need to know.”
“I can’t handle this. I can’t.”
“You can’t handle what?” He smiled in that way that let me know he knew exactly what I was saying, but he wouldn’t make it easy on me. He returned his lips to my body and lightly grazed my nipple with his teeth.
I tried to move off of him, but his arms only tightened.
“Calm down.” The voice wasn’t Hunter’s, it was Gage’s. My heart sped up. I looked down and it was Gage beneath me. I was completely losing my mind. It was official. “What are you playing with here? Stop it!” I struggled to move, but he tightened his hold further. I couldn’t move at all. “This is the only way I could get to you.”
“Stop. That’s not true.”
“Haven’t you missed me?” His eyes twinkled with amusement.
“Yes. But this isn’t real.” I blinked a few times. Why did he sound and look so much like Gage?
“It isn’t?” He rolled me over so he was on top. “You sure about that?”
“Yes. You’re not Gage.” It couldn’t be.
“I guess there’s only one way to find out for sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m guessing you remember what it’s like to have me inside you.” He thrust into me with no warning. The momentary pain quickly turned into pleasure as my body welcomed him back. He felt so familiar, so right. This was Gage, it had to be. But how? How could I have gone to bed with Hunter and woken up with Gage? And hadn’t it been Hunter touching me? The more I tried to focus on these questions, the deeper and harder Gage’s movements became until I couldn’t th
ink about anything but him anymore. I closed my eyes and let the pleasure take over. Everything was going to be all right if we could just be together. We’d find a way.
“How do you feel, babe?” He breathed.
It was Gage. Hunter never called me that.
“Good,” I barely got out.
“That’s not good enough.” He pushed me harder, further. “You’re supposed to be feeling great. Amazing.”
I couldn’t hold on, he pushed me over the edge, and I called out. He shuddered and released inside me.
I should have been thinking about what had just happened, but instead I could only focus on one thing. “You didn’t use a condom.”
“After everything, you’re still concerned with safe sex?”
“Yes. I’m still me.” You always used a condom.
His angry eyes glared down at me. “Well I’m not still me, and whose fault is that?”
I woke up with a start.
I turned to my side. Hunter was sleeping. I took several deep breaths. I was done pretending. There was only one man I wanted, and it wasn’t the one in the bed next to me.
Chapter Sixteen
Hunter
Sleeping with Mary Anne in my arms almost made me feel like my normal self again. Being near her was always great, but when I could focus on her peaceful even breathing, I was able to forget how close I was to losing my human side.
As content as I was, sleeping was the last thing on my mind. Her body had been everything I knew it would be, and seeing her soaking wet almost undid me. It took a lot of will power to walk away. I couldn’t tarnish what we had. She’d never forgive me. My brother would have laughed at me. He always said I was too soft to be an Alpha, but respecting a woman doesn’t make a man any less strong.
She started to toss and turn, and she murmured in her sleep. I listened closely to see if I could make anything out. I couldn’t, but the look on her face and the way she squirmed said it all. She was dreaming about me.
I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the knowledge that the shower experience had affected her as much as it affected me. But then she ruined it. All of it.
“Gage.” She spoke softly, but his name came out loud and clear.