Jan Love

by Luiz Guilherme

  Back home, he did what he always does usual. Nothing unusual. The night comes and he goes home in Sofia. All was love. Fondling, hugging, kissing, stuff a couple of boyfriends.

  At one point, Sophie had to answer the phone. In this interval, Jan saw the chair in the room a blue shirt, the color purple pinstripes. He went to the chair, grabbed his shirt, and felt a wild smell, sound, which was not characteristic of her. He was trying to recognize where it came from that smell. Smelt, smelled, and did not recognize. Until he hears a noise. Sofia shows up, and they look at each other uneasily. Jan, slowly, let the shirt in the same place where she was. Scratching his head, and without it how to react, he said.

  “Excuse me. It was my curiosity. “- Even timid, shy, the words rang in the room echoes like a cave. She just made the gesture of calling him back to bed. It was dry but inviting for the moment. Everything came back as it was. Jan chose to forget that. But after the meeting, he remembered the shirt that smells heavy. It began to intrigue him, as if some pin troubled him.

  This persisted throughout the day. He could disguise it, but inside nothing was denied. A suspicion began to hover in the air. And Jan was not enjoying it. Still, he did not want to say anything, because Sophia might be upset. This fear prevented him know the truth.

  That day, he went to Melissa’s house without warning - there. He was surprised, but received no further problems. Melissa became suspicious because it was a long time that Jan did not show up in your home. But it eventually became a certainty, because Jan told what happened.

  “Hey Jan, if you love, trust. But arch with the consequences and problems of the relationship of you. This has a risk than you realize. “

  He thought, and saw a side of the coin: the side where there is a risk, which was still minimal, but soon you may worsen. Then he spoke.

  “I do not know if it’ll stick, but I hope she does not get embarrassed.”

  “She’s very mature to be closing for you. Everything has to be clarified so as not to weigh things. Sincerity is key. “

  The conversation was not as long as expected. That left Melissa would be, but sad inside. Jan soon gone, giving a tight hug, relieving a bit of sadness Melissa. He had to question his love. Take once for all, that needle poked his mind in recent days.

  *

  And in the days following its normal course. Less than Jan, who had not got that question about which I comment to Melissa last few days. During his meeting with Sofia, he touched on the subject, because he gave his fear. He thought she might react badly to their questions and that could bring a concussion in the relationship of the two. And he was pushing with the belly all. Day came, the day passed, and everything was fine without it he touched on the subject. Until one Friday came in his life. The day had been normal, with no unexpected but with enough work. The anxiety was not left out, but it was not a crazy thing as in times past. That day, he wanted to do a little surprise. Before going to his house, he bought a box of heart-shaped chocolates wrapped in red paper with a number of hearts. There he was welcomed with a face of surprise, but soon after the kiss, turned into a radiant smile. He gave the gift, like all love the world. She received him with all kindness, and to open it, was happier than it seemed. She loved winning chocolates. And mostly eat them. Everything went well, and better impossible. But it seems that all the joy was fleeting. When Jan kissed her, it seemed that she did not return the same way. Kisses from Sofia appear dull without that burning as in previous times. This was not a good sign, but even so, Jan was a good time with Sofia. After this meeting, Jan saw more clearly that nothing was so normal. This led to mistrust him rekindle after that encounter. Everything seemed stranger than before. The shirt with the male odor, kisses lifeless, and the sudden change of mood of Sofia. This intrigued him more than he thought such suspicions. He would have this wound, because it could be bigger every day he left the matter for another time (or day). He reflected much in the days following the meeting. That could be painful, but would not be touched to cause more serious consequences. He still had the desire to talk to Melissa to help you do this, but chose not to talk because it could indeed be solved by it. If anything he feared, would then have to solve everything alone. If you smile, smile alone would. If you cry, cry quietly, hanging on his own pain.

  The day of truth arrives. He is apprehensive, but not as uncontrollable as it seemed. Everything could be decided today. At the end of that day, he would smile or cry. That day seemed to be a kind of game, the most important of his life. The day was not smooth, but not as worrisome as well, because there would be many school activities that would distract him a little of that moment was to come. But at the time of the night, worries begin to appear. At six in the evening it seemed that the night would be long. Seven seemed to not come. He could not wait to know everything that was happening to strangers, and that the days will be left with many doubts. And after much agonizing wait, he decided to go to the house of Sofia. Jan could not wait to hear the whole truth. Everything could have consequences good or bad, because bad things were.

  He rings the bell. Sofia meets surprise. She did not expect him to come that day, but still let him enter. He just kissed her on the cheek and his return shortly after. They enter the room without saying a word, and sat at the table. By the expression on the face of Jan, Sophie knew what was coming. It would not be a surprise for her.

  After a while speechless, Jan decided to speak.

  “I came here because you really feel there’s something wrong between us.” - Jan said with a soft voice. And then he asks - “I want to know what’s going on with you? What happened? “

  Sofia lifts her head up, already preparing for Jan. And the answer he just watched, seeming to predict what she might say.

  She lowered her head, gesturing with his head negatively. And immediately got up and said.

  “I know it’s hard to tell, but I do not feel anything anymore for you.”

  One hears silence. Jan did not believe what you hear. Outside, he tries to pretend, but inside, his pain and unbearable. And yet Sofia said.

  “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but all I feel now. It started from that trip, when I fell for someone else. It took me reason to try this, until evil was thinking of leaving you, but an hour, sooner or later, you end up realizing that I did not love you more. Excuse me heart. “

  That was too strong for Jan. He got up and said.

  “I better go. I cannot stand to hear it from you. Excuse me for everything I did. Promise not to cross that door to love you or see you. “

  He left sad, heartbroken, weeping, no structure to try to understand everything that happened to him. She cried all sorry. One more is gone from your life.

  The way back was hard to be traversed. The tears kept falling from their eyes. He just tried to forget what an unforgettable moment was. The greatest relief was to reach his home. The doors through which he passed were closed with the anger he felt. And his steps to his room were strong, typical of those that are bad. Already lying in his bed, he was freer to cry as much as he wanted. Cry of his frustration, he avoided thinking. The pain he felt was far greater than anything he could imagine at that time. Everything was bad, and there was something worse than what he was living. That night was beginning to be long, when he decided to call Melissa. Already passed midnight, and Coincidence, Melissa was awake. And he spoke of his subject.

  “This all happened to me Melissa. I am very sorry. “- He said, even with the voice of crying.

  “Jan, I thought I told you so but you have not heard me.” - Melissa spoke gently, but with a deep tone of toughness.

  To make matters worse for Jan, she still spoke.

  “I at least cannot support you.”

  Here���s a silence that soon after it was broken by the doubt Jan.

  “Why do not you help me? You’re with some other problem? “- He asked.

  “No, this is Jan. I am with another love.”-And she was enjoying the moment, still spoke his secret
- “And I’m sorry to say, but one day, I’ve been madly in love with you. I tried all the ways you show it, but you did not give me the slightest. I tried other loves me frustrated, I cried, but I found someone who really loved me. You could be with me today, but you went another way. That’s life. “

  And she hung up, without even saying goodbye. And Jan was sadder still. Two lost loves in one night. That was too much for the fragile heart that humble kid who just wanted to be happy with someone.

  Chapter 10

  10

  The next day was the hardest of his life. Jan did not want to live that day. That was too much for him. It was like carrying a huge stone that was on his back. He barely got out of bed. He just quit drinking water or going to the bathroom. The day was lost within all the pain he felt. The sun was beaming on a beautiful blue sky that day. But nothing could cheer him up. The hours went by and nothing meant anything to him. Everything was a bore, a thing without any context. He stared at the ceiling, and did not see a positive meaning, a wellspring of joy. The walls were just pieces appreciative of all that pain that was evident to them. Nothing was as painful as the pain he felt. The blankets were the only thing that could warm the cold at the time of your life. Jan just wanted somebody, but now he just felt like disappear and never return.

  The evening wound down the deepest sorrow Jan, until his cell phone rings. Melissa was. He did not attend, but by some instinct that motivated him, he decided to attend.

  “Jan, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I do not want to hurt you. “- Melissa said in a regretful tone.

  “It’s okay I accept his apology. Excuse myself for not having understood you. Sometimes we really need to learn to look things well. But the important thing is that you are very happy with who truly loves you. “- Jan also spoke with the air blue.

  “But that was about it would tell you. You can come to my house? “

  “Today there Melissa, I am very bad about what happened yesterday. It could be tomorrow? It’s why things are now too heavy for me to go today to you. “

  “I understand. Then you can come tomorrow at seven o’clock?

  “Yes, I can. Tomorrow will be better.

  They hung up. Jan was a little better after that call. Everything could not be perfect, but there was an improvement in air.

  The next day everything seemed better and lighter. He went to school in their way, without any hindrance. But that day he had forgotten that lesson was Sofia. When he saw there, he soon sank. The embarrassment was on both sides. By the look was perceivable in which Jan and Sofia did not want to meet so early in life. But fate was more treacherous than they thought. And the lesson continued in its ‘normal’. Jan was trying not to look at Sofia, but it was almost inevitable. That face that enchanted so many times, now was the thing he least wanted to see in your life. But that moment of the day was nearly done for him to bear whatever was there, revealing itself once more in his life.

  After the ‘torture’ to see Sophia, the interval came as a relief. But the ‘relief’ does not last long, when Sophie saw him from behind, touch her shoulder. Jan knew that without touch it or see it. He would not turn to her. But still she said.

  “I wanted to tell you something in particular in the Library, even if it’s the last time.” - Sophie said gently.

  He got up and went forward without giving her a single word.

  In one corner reserved for the library, the two talked. Seated at table, Jan preferred to look at the surface of the round table. But still, Sofia.

  “Jan is not because of a betrayal so you can stay with me. We could not stay like this forever. “- She gave a slight pause -” One day someone would discover that our novel and our age difference is huge. “

  With hands on the chin, Jan did not want to talk, but felt compelled to do the same.

  “Yes, but what mattered it to be different? If you were so honest so there would be no betrayal in our relationship. “

  “I know that Jan was wrong, but it costs you to forgive me. You may be feeling a trifle with it, but I want to apologize. Maybe you’re so perfect so far as to not accept a pardon from the mistakes of others? Will say you never miss, or hurt someone? “

  These words, he recalled Melissa. It did as he became sadder than it already was. The tears were stronger than the will to hold in his emotion. Sofia gave his shoulder so he could cry like an innocent child. And he accepted without any restrictions. There, he can realize it was a completely weak. Still seeing Jan in tears, Sophie told him.

  “One day, yes you will be happy with someone. Believe it. “

  “How can I believe if I was betrayed by a love and I wasted another without realizing it? That’s enough for me. I do not know if I can live anymore. “- his pain is at a level that was unsurpassed. But Sofia still persists.

  “You have to believe Jan cannot kill it so easy. Time is slow, but it solves everything we want it resolved. You’re still young, but needs at least understand that nothing is as it wanting. But if we can adapt well to this life, certainly, we will live better. This can be changed, but not overnight. So you must fight for what you want, even if it takes a while to happen. One day your dreams will come true believe it. “

  Jan wiped her tears, and gradually was getting back together. The bell rings and before they say goodbye, Jan says something to Sofia.

  “Thank you for everything. And excuse me if I was rude or too stupid. I’m always so. “

  They hug and Sofia talking softly in the ear of Jan.

  “Always remember what I told you. And be on your way. “

  That day was actually lighter after all that. Jan went out with one more learning and even a slight smile, but it showed a sign of animation in it.

  Soon after school, Jan became lighter, but still had to talk to Melissa. He could go at night, but decided to call her, marking another time the next day.

  “Let’s meet at the park, nine in the morning? It would be great to find ourselves outdoors. “

  Melissa liked the idea of Jan.

  “I loved his idea. Then the nine in the morning I’ll be there. I hope. “

  So Jan decided her encounter with Melissa. Everything was so much better.

  The next day dawned beautiful. The sky more blue than ever and the sun radiant as always. He woke early, around seven in the morning. He was glad that day, and felt lighter. But he felt something close to it all. Something he could not define well, but that soon could blossom out I know inside. He was not anxious, as might be expected. But he never stopped looking at the wall clock that was in the kitchen, not to lose time. 07h36mim were already in the last time he looked at his watch before going to the room to watch the newspaper. When he looked again an hour after the newspaper already passed the 8h09mim. Soon he was taking that shower. After a few minutes ago, Jan was ready to enjoy that beautiful day in the park.

  On the way she decided to buy something for Melissa. He was a teddy bear holding a heart that was written ‘love’. Upon arriving at the park, he saw Melissa sitting on the shade of a yellow ip��. He comes slowly, and covers their eyes talking.

  “Did not think I would?”

  He turns his back and hugs them happy.

  He hides this in a space that was inside the tree and decides to listen to it before hand.

  “Actually Jan, All I told him it was lip service, because I’ve always been in love with you. Never told him that that was not to arrest him for that. But I have not stopped loving you. “Melissa-Speech, holding in his hands, looking deep in your eyes.

  Jan, says nothing. Only asks her to wait. Strip this and hides behind him, and speaks.

  “I reviewed everything I did, and actually have something to say to you” - he hands over the teddy bear and goes, “Only you can decide the fate now.”

  She unwraps the present, and seeing him with a look that said it all. Yet he preferred to speak in four words.

  “He is already decided.”

  They kiss. Never had a kiss
taste so true to Jan like that. Everything was perfect. The day, the weather, the kiss. The love of his life was so far away for a long time, and now so close he could hardly believe what he was living. None of it was a dream. All (finally) became a reality.

  “��� And so love continues to endure, come what may, whatever the cost.”

  L.Guilherme

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