The Lost Years

by Stacey Ritz

  When she entered, she was greeted by the smell of warm cinnamon and the faint whispers of a baby’s sweet coos. She padded down the short hall and walked into Ellie’s room where she watched as Ronnie finished changing her diaper. “Hey there.” Rainie whispered as she stood in the doorway.

  “Look who’s here!” Ronnie’s eyes grew wide as she smiled at her daughter. “Aunt Rainie!”

  Rainie held her arms out and Ellie smiled, wrapping her tiny fingers around Rainie’s thumb. Ronnie had moved into the guest house on Edington Road once her house in Blue Ash had successfully sold. Her divorce from Andrew was now finalized and Ronnie had reverted to the Amburger name. She’d given birth to Ellie only a month after her move to the farm and at seven pounds, two ounces, Ellie Amburger had been born a healthy baby girl. Ronnie had asked Rainie to call Andrew when she’d gone into the labor. And although it was four in the afternoon on a Saturday, Andrew had said he’d had a lot of work to do and “probably won’t make it.” True to his word, he didn’t drive to Morehead for the birth of his child. He’d happily agreed to allow Veronica full custody of Ellie and had made it clear, in more ways than one, that he’d wanted nothing to do with a child. Ronnie had been upset at first, but once Ellie was placed in her arms, nothing else mattered because she already had the whole world in her hands. Living at the farm brought Ronnie and Ellie closer to Rainie and Sarah-Jayne. It also gave Ronnie plenty of new photography opportunities between the myriad of animals, both farm animals and wildlife, the exquisite nature that existed all around them and of course, Cave Run Lake. Naturally, she’d been busy the past few months primarily snapping endless photographs of little Ellie.

  “You are the luckiest little girl in the whole wide world.” Ronnie told her daughter as she handed her over to Rainie. “You get to grow up surrounded by family and animals and scenery so beautiful sometimes I swear we live in a Bob Ross painting.”

  Rainie laughed as she made faces at Ellie. “Miss Ellie is going to grow up to be strong and independent, just like her Mama.” She winked at her little sister.

  “You think I’m strong?” Ronnie asked, surprised.

  Rainie nodded.

  “You’re the one who runs a non-profit…I mean, look at this place.” She smiled in disbelief.

  “Ronnie, it’s not about what you have. It’s about who you are.”

  Ronnie’s eyes grew heavy with tears. “That’s such a nice thing to say.”

  “I read that line in your self-help book in Corolla last year.” Rainie teased, winking at her little sister.

  “Well, it’s a good line.” Ronnie handed her sister a blanket. The blanket was pink, it was the first full blanket Sarah-Jayne had successfully arm knitted. She’d been determined to learn and she’d learned and finished the baby blanket in time for Ellie’s arrival. Sarah-Jayne had grown to love knitting so much that she was starting an advanced knitting group at the town’s bookstore. Admittedly, she’d been terrified that her life would end once Dan had passed away. She’d been concerned that her life would be over as she turned sixty; but that hadn’t been the case at all. Rather, her life was just beginning. Her life was fuller than it ever had been between running, working at the library, volunteering at the sanctuary and starting the advanced knitting group at the bookstore. Not to mention, her daughters had moved home and she was now a proud grandma.

  Ellie grabbed onto the pink blanket, brushing it against her face.

  “It’s a sign.” Ronnie said.

  “What?”

  “Do you see what Ellie’s doing?”

  Rainie watched as the baby continued to rub the soft pink blanket against her cheek.

  “She does this all of the time and only with this blanket, the one Mama made.”

  “What’s it a sign of?”

  “That mama’s going to be okay. We’re all going to be okay.”

  “I think you’re right.” Rainie agreed. Ronnie’s signs were crazy at times, but more often than not, she was right. And this time more than ever, she really hoped Ronnie would be right.

  〜

  Up at five, Rainie was the first to greet the animals every morning. She opened each of the animal’s pens. Some of them eagerly charged out into the open land, while others lazily sat idle, waiting for their food to arrive. Similar to human beings, each animal had their own unique personality that shined through, visible only to the lucky souls who were truly attentive. She started with the pigs, as she had the same routine every morning. She watched as Peggy and Sam nuzzled each other beneath the rays of sunlight that fought their way into the barn. The two had been inseparable since their rescue and likely long before that. She smiled, thinking of how much they reminded her of herself and Milo. They’d been best friends since kindergarten. They’d been high school sweethearts. Their senior year, Milo had called them soulmates and Rainie had told him she didn’t know if soulmates existed or if soulmates were something more reminiscent of a fairy tale. He’d argued, of course, that they did exist. He knew it, he said, because he knew her. In response, Rainie had told him she needed to think it over. But she’d never gotten back to him on the topic. Instead, she’d ran away.

  She shook her head as she continued watching Peggy and Sam now. The two pigs snuggled together every night, literally sleeping in each other’s arms. On cold winter nights, Rainie covered them in a large blanket. They’d always reminded her of an old married couple when she did this. Now, Sam snorted and nudged Peggy until she stood. Once she got up, she did the same to him. Once they were both standing, they sauntered out into the yard, side by side, heading straight to the mud hole for a bath. She knew Milo had been right all those years ago. Soulmates did exist. Peggy and Sam are proof. She and Milo are proof. She couldn’t believe she’d left at eighteen and tried to forget the past. Yet, as tough as some things had been, everything that had happened to her played a part in making her who she was today. And Milo loved who she was as much as she loved him. She made a mental note to verbalize all of this to him when she saw him next. If she’d learned anything over the past year, she’d learned to listen to her heart. And in a world with seven billion smiles, Milo’s would always be her favorite.

  Peggy and Sam were always the first ones let out of their pens in the morning. Next, she’d visit the rest of the pigs. When she opened the next pen, she saw that Kristin the pig had something around her neck. It was a piece of paper with a string holding it loosely around her. The paper had large bold printed letters across it: WILL. She petted the pigs on the head and watched as they eagerly ran out into the yard, joining Peggy and Sam in the mud hole. She tended to the goats next, where one of the goats had a sign around his neck that read: YOU. The sign had a large bite out of it, but she could still read the writing. When she reached the miniature horses, Harold, the little brown senior horse had a sign on his neck that read: MARRY. She was collecting each piece of paper in her hands as she moved forward. She looked around. She was alone with the animals as the sun began to rise. Rainie’s next stop was the turkeys, where one of them sported a sign that said: MILO? She held the papers in her hands and finished letting the rest of the animals out of their enclosures.

  The employees and volunteers would be arriving over the course of the next two hours to help with morning clean up and feedings. As she let the last llama out of her pen, she turned, hearing the clinging of dog tags. She saw Buddy running toward her on his three strong legs. He licked her hands as she bent forward to pet him. “Hey, Buddy.” As she rubbed the top of his head, she saw something glisten against the tags on his collar. It was a ring. She reached for it, gently removing the ring from his collar and taking it in her hands. Looking up, she saw Milo standing at the entrance of the farm, looking debonair with his hands sheepishly in his pockets, his deep dimples pulling her toward him with an unspeakable force. As their eyes met, he shrugged his shoulders taking a step toward her. She sprinted to him. Buddy barked and chased her, sure they were playing a new game. Milo opened his arms wide, catching Rai
nie as she reached him. She squeezed him tightly before her lips found their way to his.

  “Is this a yes?” Milo laughed. “Will you marry me?”

  “Yes! Of course, yes!”

  They kissed again.

  “Did you ever think you’d be someone’s best thing?” She asked Milo, her eyes sparkling beneath the rising sun.

  He smiled back at her. “I’d always hoped I’d be yours and I always knew you were mine.” His face grew to a light shade of pink. “Soulmates, remember?” He slipped the ring from the palm of her hand and placed it onto her finger.

  “The perfect fit.” She looked down at the ring and then back at him. Eye contact, she knew, would always be more intimate than words could ever be. “Soulmates.” She agreed as Buddy barked ardently at their feet.

  Rainie knew in that moment that the past was behind them. The past was called the past for a reason. She didn’t need to relive it anymore. She didn’t need to feel guilt or shame. She didn’t need to worry that she should have done things differently. She didn’t need to dwell on what she’d lost. Akin to the baby Robin she’d rescued as a child, the bird her dad had told her was hopeless, she’d saved something else with lost hope.

  Maybe Ronnie had always been right about her belief in signs. Maybe running into Milo at the beach had been a sign, maybe that invisible thread that had bonded them together from the start had pulled a little tighter to remind them of who they were. In that moment, they’d been given an opportunity. They could watch what they’d had die or with a little effort, they could bring it back to life. Maybe, Rainie thought, all three of the Amburger women had resembled the baby Robin. Only, contrary to the fallen bird, they all had their wings now and instead of choosing to fly away this time, they chose to stay close to one another. With the addition of little Ellie, they were now a flock of four Amburger women. They chose to be strong. They chose to be happy. Because once you have your wings, life isn’t about circumstances, as Sarah-Jayne wisely told them at the beach. Life is about choices and happiness is a series of a million little choices.

  DEAR READER

  I hope you enjoyed The Lost Years. Many of the animal rescue stories shared throughout the book are real or are based on similar rescues we have incurred at the non-profit animal welfare organization I co-founded, Advocates 4 Animals. At A4A our rescued pets live in individual volunteer foster homes while they wait to find forever homes. This way, we get to know each pet well and we can help both the adopters and the pet make the best match. Since our start in 2002, we have saved 11,000 lives (and counting). We’ve rescued blind pets, three-legged pets, deaf pets, two-legged pets (meet Albert on Instagram @albertthe2leggedcat), orphaned pets, senior pets, abandoned, neglected and severely abused pets and pets slated for euthanasia at animal shelters. Sasha the American Pit Bull Terrier mentioned near the end of the book, has been one of my favorite dogs to come through A4A. She was terrified in the animal shelter and slated for certain euthanasia through no fault of her own. The shelter where she was found, euthanized companion animals every Thursday to “clear out” the cages before the weekend. Luckily, we saved Sasha on a Wednesday, before it was too lat e, as deemed by the shelter’s director. She was covered in fleas, parasites and terribly emaciated. We fostered her in our home and she cuddled up to us immediately, thankful to be safe. Sasha quickly learned to sit, shake our hands, lay, roll over, and give high-five’s. She loved running and walking on a leash and picked up potty training quickly. After she was spayed and fully vetted, she was adopted to a wonderful local family where one of the adults was a runner and Sasha loved becoming his morning running partner. She is living her life as a happy, loved canine in her forever home. At Advocates 4 Animals, this is our wish for every companion animal.

  The story of the fallen hatchling is based on a personal experience. While out walking one evening, we found a fallen hatchling. With only a few tiny t uffs of feathers, she must have been only a day or two old. The mother Robin sat on the branch far above our heads, chirping loudly as she looked down at her little one, helpless on the grass. The nest was too high for us to reach and I’d been wrongly told in the past that one shouldn’t touch a baby bird, or the mother would no longer care for it. When we returned home, I researched birds and learned that you could, indeed, put a hatching back in his/her nest. I read and re-read the steps and we loaded our ladder in the back of the car and drove to where we’d found the hatchling. The sky was turning dark, but we were determined to save the little hatchling. As she was placed quickly and softly back in her nest, the mother Robin watched from above, in the same tree. When we hopped back in the car we watched as she returned to the nest to care for her little ones. In the coming days and weeks, we walked beneath the tree branch that held the Robin’s nest. We were lucky enough to witness the Robin’s learning to fly and eventually, one day, they’d all left the nest. It was an amazing experience and I feel so grateful to have played a small part in helping the hatch l ing survive.

  Morehead, Kentucky and Corolla, North Carolina are both real locations; both beautiful and breathtaking in their own unique ways. Coffee Tree Books in Morehead is a real bookstore with loads of charm. It resides in the town’s former movie theater. I love visiting bookstores across the country and this has been one of my favorites.

  If you enjoyed this book, I’d be so appreciative of an online review with your favorite book retailer(s) and also if you’d share it on your social media pages and with your friends, family and co-workers. These are all tremendous compliments and incredibly appreciated. Thank you so much for your support.

  Hope is an important theme in this novel and it is my wish that you, dear reader, remember to carry hope with you every day. Hope that love exists. Hope that the future is brighter than the past. And hope for the well-being of all living creatures. Wishing you all the very best.

  Sincerely,

  Stacey Ritz

  ABOUT STACEY RITZ

  Award winning writer and bestselling author, Stacey Ritz’s novels are emotional dramas that delve into the complexities of relationships, families, friendships and secrets. Her books are published worldwide. When Ritz isn’t reading or writing, she’s likely spending time with animals, nature and family or watching Hallmark movies.

  Visit her at staceyritzbooks.com

  BOOKS BY STACEY RITZ

  All the Little Choices

  The Lost Years

  RESOURCES

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