'Tis the Season to be Single

by Laura Ziepe

  About the Author

  LAURA ZIEPE lives in Brentwood in Essex with her husband Terry, three-year-old twins Harry and Darcey, and two dogs. Laura has always loved writing from a young age and was often writing stories from as young as eight. After leaving sixth form and working in office jobs for a year in London, Laura decided to go to university. Unsure what to study, Laura’s oldest friend asked her what her ideal job would be. Immediately answering ‘author’, Laura followed her dreams and chose a degree in Creative Writing and English at St Mary’s University in Twickenham. As well as writing books, she is a freelance make-up artist and loves travelling as much as she can. She has previously written two novels, Essex Girls and Made in Essex and hopes to be writing for many years to come. You can follow Laura on Twitter @lauraziepe or on Instagram @lauraziepewriter.

  ’Tis the Season to be Single

  LAURA ZIEPE

  HQ

  An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

  1 London Bridge Street

  London SE1 9GF

  First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2018

  Copyright © Laura Ziepe 2018

  Laura Ziepe asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

  E-book Edition © October 2018 ISBN: 9780008318482

  Version: 2018-09-19

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  About the Author

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Dear Reader

  Keep Reading …

  About the Publisher

  I would like to dedicate this book to the three loves of my life; my husband Terry and our beautiful twins, Harry and Darcey.

  Chapter 1

  ‘Perhaps he’s going to propose?’ Grace said cheerfully, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she bent down to arrange a drawer of lipsticks.

  Rachel frowned anxiously, biting her lower lip as she stared at the twinkly fairy lights and sparkly giant baubles above. The Christmas decorations had just gone up and they usually put her in a good mood instantly, but not today. Her boyfriend of three years, Mark, had called on her lunch break to check she was coming straight home as he needed to talk to her.

  ‘No, I really don’t think that’s it,’ she replied fretfully. ‘He sounded really serious on the phone and Mark is never normally like that. It was as though someone had died. Which they haven’t, thank goodness, because it was the first thing I asked when I heard his sombre voice.’

  ‘Well, getting married is a huge deal,’ Grace pointed out, tucking her shoulder-length dark hair behind her ear. ‘He’s probably just nervous.’ She smiled widely. ‘You should have seen Simon when he proposed to me. He was shaking so much I thought he was going to drop the ring.’

  Rachel gave a light laugh. ‘I’m not so sure…’ She tailed off, unable to imagine Mark proposing on such an ordinary day. Firstly, it was a Wednesday and they didn’t have plans that evening to do anything special, and secondly, Christmas was just around the corner. Surely if Mark was going to propose he’d choose to do so on Christmas Day? She could just imagine it at the Christmas table, surrounded by Mark’s lovely family as they gushed over the beautiful diamond ring. He wouldn’t do it on a random Wednesday at the beginning of November, would he? Rachel felt like she’d been waiting forever for him to propose, but try as she might, she just couldn’t imagine that being the reason he needed to talk to her.

  ‘Don’t look so worried,’ Grace told her, in a comforting, caring voice. ‘I’m sure if it was that urgent, he would have just told you over the phone.’

  Rachel forced a smile and nodded her head. ‘Yes, I’m sure you’re right. It’s probably nothing. I bet it’s to do with his work or something along those lines. He’s been so stressed over work lately; perhaps he’s quit his job? It wouldn’t be the worst thing.’

  ‘Has Bianca mentioned anything?’ Grace questioned curiously. ‘Perhaps she knows what all this is about?’

  Bianca was Rachel’s best friend from primary school. When Bianca had been made redundant the year before, Rachel had managed to persuade Mark to get her a job at the bank he worked for in London. Bianca had been over the moon and so grateful. Rachel’s forehead wrinkled.

  ‘No, she hasn’t, and I spoke to her last night. They only work in the same building though. They’re in completely different departments so I can’t imagine she’d know anything anyway. It’s not like they’re friends or anything.’ Rachel heaved a loud sigh. ‘There’s no point in me guessing all day. I’ll just have to wait and see.’

  ‘Exactly,’ Grace said, pulling out a lipstick and taking the cap off. ‘Put on a bit of red lippie to get into the festive spirit and everything will be fine,’ she smiled, passing the lipstick over.

  It was quiet today in Tidemans, the department store they worked in. With Christmas fast approaching, Rachel knew it was the calm before the storm and she should appreciate the peace and quiet. Right now though, she also knew that she’d welcome the distraction of some customers, as all she could think about was what Mark wanted to say to her. As much as she’d pressed him on the phone, he’d been adamant he wanted to discuss it face to face. It couldn’t be anything that bad, could it? A feeling of unease crept up on her. Everything had been fine in their relationship; a little same-old and predictable maybe, but Rachel loved the feeling of being completely comfortable and they were happy, weren’t they? Who cared if she no longer had the butterflies like at the beginning? That feeling didn’t last forever in any relationship, and Mark was the man Rachel wanted to marry. He was the one. For the past year she’d been hoping he was going to propose and she couldn’t deny she’d felt a little disappointed after every night out in a restaurant or trip away together when she’d still come back empty handed. What if Grace was right? What if he really was going to propose today? Rachel applied the red lipstick with a brush and puckered her lips together. At least she
could make sure she looked nice if he was going to pop the question.

  Rachel loved working with Grace on the make-up counter for Pop Cosmetics and they’d become great friends over the years. They knew practically everything about each other, and Rachel was so glad she’d decided to take the job five years ago, despite having reservations about working in retail. There were usually three of them, but their colleague, Amber, was away in Thailand, due to arrive back in a few days’ time.

  ‘Good luck,’ Grace said, leaning in for a kiss a few hours later when they were leaving. ‘Let me know straightaway if you get engaged,’ she said, her lips curving at the edges. ‘What a lovely early Christmas present that would be.’

  Rachel waved goodbye, feeling sick with nerves.

  Their flat was empty when she got home, so Rachel put the kettle on, making a cup of tea for something to do. She was looking forward to decorating their flat for Christmas; they usually drank mulled wine and listened to Christmas songs to get them in the mood. She remembered amusedly how the year before they’d ended up pretty drunk and covered in glitter.

  She was pouring the milk into the tea when she heard the front door open and Mark walk in.

  ‘Hi!’ Rachel attempted a smile and a breezy tone, swivelling round to face Mark as he walked into the kitchen. Her heart plummeted, as she instantly knew that whatever it was he was going to tell her, it wasn’t good news. There was definitely going to be no proposal tonight, of that she was certain.

  ‘Hi. Rach, do you mind sitting down?’ Mark asked gravely, walking over to the kitchen table with a slight stoop to his shoulders. His face was white as a sheet.

  Rachel swallowed hard, knowing she should have trusted her gut instinct that something was wrong when he had called her that afternoon. Maybe he’d been sacked from his job and they were going to struggle to pay the bills? She could handle that though and would offer to work extra hours at Tidemans and start doing freelance make-up like she’d promised herself she would years ago. Or perhaps someone was sic k? Rachel was annoyed that she’d allowed Grace to get her hopes up that maybe, just maybe, he was going to propose and everything was going to be amazing in her life. She needed to stop telling herself that if she just had an engagement ring, everything would perfect.

  ‘I’ve made you a cup of tea,’ she said, placing the mug in front of him and sitting opposite. ‘Can you tell me what’s up now, please? You’re starting to scare me,’ she confessed, feeling awkward in front of him for the first time since they’d met.

  Mark’s breathing was shallow and audible as he fidgeted in his seat and stared at his hands uncomfortably. Two red blotches suddenly appeared on his pale neck. He closed his eyes momentarily.

  ‘Look, there’s no easy way for me to say this, Rachel, but I’m moving out. I can’t be with you anymore,’ he stated, matter-of-factly.

  Rachel felt as though she’d been winded, her mouth popping open in shock. She was completely speechless, the room spinning round as she stared at him in disbelief.

  ‘I’m so sorry to do this to you, I really am, but I can’t live a lie any longer and pretend that everything is okay, when it isn’t. You’re such an amazing person, Rach, you really are. Someone is going to be so lucky to have you one day,’ he said in pitying tones, ‘but I don’t love you the way I should anymore. You deserve better than me.’

  A sense of deep foreboding washed over Rachel like a powerful waterfall. He couldn’t be serious? But as she gazed at Mark, praying he was just trying to wind her up, her eyes swept over his guilty, tormented expression, hunched shoulders and unsteady hands, and she knew that her life was about to change forever. This was definitely no joke, and Rachel felt physically sick, her mouth too dry to speak. She blinked several times and squinted her eyes at him. ‘But why? What’s changed?’ she managed to ask, her voice cracking with emotion. ‘I thought things were fine. I thought we were happy, Mark. I even, stupidly, thought we would get engaged soon,’ Rachel whispered breathlessly. ‘I imagined we’d be getting married next year and that maybe we could have a nice Christmas wedding like we’d discussed or…’

  ‘Rach, please don’t,’ he interjected, looking as though it was painful for him to talk, his eyes trailing to the window like he couldn’t bear to look at her. ‘It’s nothing you’ve done. You’ve been great, you are great in fact. It’s me.’ He winced. ‘Oh God, I don’t want to be the guy that gives you the cliché “it’s not you it’s me”.’

  ‘Then don’t be,’ Rachel retorted, her voice now razor sharp and unrecognisable. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like it might explode at any second.

  ‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he whimpered. ‘I don’t deserve you, like I said. You deserve so much better than me.’

  Even breaking up with her, Mark was being nice about it. He was so well spoken and polite that for some reason it made it more of a slap in the face because she couldn’t hate him. How on earth was this happening? How had it come to this? Rachel hadn’t gone after a bad boy, trying to tame him unsuccessfully. Rachel had chosen Mark. Mark with the kind, gentle features and smiley face who was friendly to everybody. The type of man to help an old lady crossing the road or to buy the homeless man on the street a cup of coffee. She’d settled for the good guy; the one who wasn’t supposed to break your heart after three years together. The one who was supposed to be proposing!

  ‘What’s changed?’ Rachel asked in a demanding voice. She needed an explanation. Rachel wasn’t giving up without a fight. They had so many plans for the future. Rachel had been looking forward to hosting Christmas for Mark’s entire family, like she’d done every year since they’d met. She’d been looking forward to playing board games with his sister, Lottie, who was just as competitive as Rachel, handing her presents out, which she’d put a lot of thought into, and pulling Christmas crackers at the table, with Mark’s father making them read the terrible jokes inside one by one. She had even been looking forward to Mark’s mother getting drunk, mumbling all her words and not making any sense by 9 p.m. Was she really going to be losing everyone in one fell swoop? It was devastating. Brutal.

  Mark looked at her then, as though she was a poor little dog he was about to put down. ‘I have. Things have just changed. I love you, Rach, you know I do. But I think it’s more like a friend.’

  It would have hurt less if he’d stabbed her and suddenly Rachel felt angry.

  ‘Right, well that’s just great then,’ she said, pushing her chair back to stand up, which made a loud scraping sound. ‘I’ll just get my things and go. There’s nothing I can do if you’re telling me that you only love me as a friend,’ she said, hating the fact that her face was scrunching up and her eyes were filling with tears.

  ‘Please, don’t, Rach. I already feel terrible enough,’ Mark replied, putting his head in his hands.

  ‘What do you want me to say, Mark? I love you, and not just as a friend. I thought we were going to be together forever, and now suddenly out of the blue you come home and tell me you no longer love me!’ Tears cascaded down her cheeks. ‘I feel like such an idiot.’

  ‘You’re not an idiot. I’m the idiot. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,’ he sighed, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

  ‘You’re breaking up with me,’ Rachel stated, brushing her tears away roughly. ‘I’ll leave and make things easier for you,’ she told him, making her way into their bedroom to pack a bag.

  ‘No, I’ll leave,’ Mark said, jumping up to follow her, ‘I should be the one to go.’

  ‘No, you won’t,’ Rachel snapped at him. ‘You won’t be the one who gets to break up with me and then walk away. I don’t want to be here alone, in our flat. There are too many memories. It’s all yours.’

  ‘You don’t have to go right now,’ he mumbled guiltily, his eyes downcast. The dark shadows under his eyes and his blotchy skin gave the impression that the situation was making him ill. Well, good. Rachel hoped he was suffering just as much as she was.

  ‘
What shall I do then, Mark? Sleep next to you in bed knowing that you don’t love me? Sleep on the sofa knowing that you’re next door where I usually sleep? I can’t believe you’re doing this, Mark. Just before Christmas too.’

  ‘There was never a right time. After Christmas it’s your birthday, then Valentine’s Day, then our anniversary. When would the right time be, Rach? I could sleep on the sofa,’ she heard him say, before she slammed the door to cry alone.

  Rachel sobbed, trying to hold it together until she left. She was utterly heartbroken, but she didn’t want Mark to see how distraught she truly was. She felt humiliated and foolish. Mark seemed a complete stranger and not the man she’d laid beside for the past three years. Where had all this come from and how had Rachel not seen it coming? If he no longer loved her, there was really no going back now, was there? There was simply nothing she could do about it.

  ‘Where are you going to go?’ Mark asked her, his voice laced with sympathy and sadness as she opened the bedroom door with a suitcase.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Rachel responded honestly. ‘Home I guess. Not that it should concern you now.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose home to your parents is best. Rachel, I’m so sorry,’ he said pathetically, looking as though he didn’t know what to do with himself.

  Rachel sniffed loudly, still unable to believe they were breaking up. ‘So am I, Mark. So am I.’

  She closed the front door behind her, not looking back at him, and made her way to her car before her face crumpled and she cried her heart out.