by HJ Bellus
“Patience, baby. The most beautiful things happen when you never give up and give it your whole heart.”
He drops his forehead to mine, lightly pressing his lips over mine.
“I’m not you. I freak out, get scared, and blow up.”
“You do.” I smile.
“When I have a break through with Royal Atlas it’s like my whole body is healed. I love the horse and want to give him that peace of mind like I have now.”
I reach up with my free hand and pet the side of his sweaty face. “Then don’t give up.”
He reaches behind me and swats my ass causing a loud sound to resonate and leaves behind a stinging sensation.
“Dinner in two hours.” I kiss him lightly. “Work him until then. Don’t leave this pen until you get a halter on him. He senses your frustration and it scares him. Take a deep breath and go back at it.”
“Have I ever told you how damn bossy you are?”
“Yes.”
“And have I ever told you that I like it?”
I shrug then walk away. When the latch on the gate closes, I turn and blow him a kiss.
“Hey Molly.”
“Yeah.” I put my hand over my eyes squinting through the sun.
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I let Rodney race up to Mom and Dad’s house. He’s learned quickly that Grandpa always has treats for him. The man gains the love and loyalty from everyone through food. After Rodney gets his treat, I poke my hand down his front pocket to get mine then I plop down in the rocker next to his.
“Your momma’s looking for you.” He rocks back and forth slowly.
“Trust me I know.” I roll my eyes.
“Let her have this.”
“I will, but if I have to answer one more wedding question I may stab myself in the eye.”
He chuckles hardily. “It will be the one wedding she gets to plan. It’s good for her.”
I peer over to the wise man. “I know, but Grandpa, does it really matter if it’s baby robin blue or sky blue material for some damn decorations?”
“To your momma it does, so humor her.”
“Aye, Aye Captain.” I stand up, salute him and then make a cross over my chest. “Please pray for me.”
He continues rocking and Rodney stays loyal at his side waiting for the next treat. Damn traitor.
I answer question after question from types of barbecue sauce, material, colors, flowers, and musical selections. It doesn’t even matter that I answer them because my momma makes a different decision on each question. Which is just fine. Grandpa is right. She’s covered from head to toe in flour, wiping her hands down her apron, while cooking dinner and jotting down notes in the personalized wedding planner she bought.
The only requisite I have is where the wedding will be. It’s a given I’ll wed on Beartooth Ranch. However, I want my wedding on the top of the hill where Amos’ service was held. He brought Guy into my life, so it seems fitting. I also hope it will help heal our family with a forever bond.
Dinner is served and we all eat minus Guy. I peer out the window every once in a while to see that Guy finally has a halter on Royal. He’s busy brushing him down. I can feel the sense of peace and tranquility floating from the work pen up to the house.
I plate food for him before I leave and answer another round of damn wedding questions. Guy is just finishing up with a smile on his face. The view of him walking Royal back to the barn makes me happier than when he proposed or even took my virginity. He’s covered from head to toe in dust and sweat, but the waves of satisfaction rolling off him is amazing.
I set the covered plate on a straw bale and pull my phone from my back pocket. Rodney squirms a bit in my arms. He’s tired and ready for his soft doggy bed. I snap several pictures of Guy. There’s no way I’d miss this completed man who is healing from a broken state.
I wait outside the barn careful not to spook Royal and ruin all the training. The beautiful horse is learning to trust and heal from his own wounds and I’d never do anything to break that cycle.
When I hear the stall gate latch shut that’s when I peek into the barn. Guy runs his hands through his shaggy hair and stares at the horse. I kick up some dirt, so he hears me coming. Much like Royal Atlas, Guy doesn’t do well when spooked or shocked.
“Hey, baby,” I whisper.
He turns to me with a smile on his face.
“See if he’ll take some horse treats out of your hand.” I walk up to him, reaching up on my toes, then place a light kiss on his lips. “Mmmm, salty.”
“Crazy girl.”
I watch him grab a treat and then patiently wait near the gate. He stands there quiet and free from frustration until Royal walks up to him. It takes the horse several long moments before he eats the treat. Guy slowly walks backwards and then whirls around.
“Fucking A.” His smile is broad and wide and very contagious.
“Good work, baby.”
“Molly, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for showing me how to live again.”
He pulls me into his chest sweat and all. It takes me a few beats to balance the plate and Rodney under my arm.
“I’m serious, Hop. It was so dark and ugly I couldn’t even think. It’s still there, but your light is more powerful. I love you.”
“I love you too and I think I love you even more in this new state. You’ve fought for your country and came home to me.”
“Royal Atlas pushes me to the last fucking thread. It’s so frustrating.”
I let him go on without our typical joke about how I feel his pain.
“When I even get a glimpse of a breakthrough with Royal I feel the evil pain of the world beginning to disappear a bit at a time.”
“I’m proud of you.” I kiss his salty lips.
“How will I ever thank you for saving me?” He asks again.
“I can think of a few ways.” I waggle my eyebrows up and down then giggle.
“Do tell.”
“Shower first and that’s an order.” I shove on his shoulder.
Guy whistles a tune while showering and Rodney’s attention remains plastered to the plate of food. We’ve remained strong not feeding him any table scraps. All of us except the man who calls him fleabag. Guy always slips him a few pieces of steak off his plate.
“Do I smell better?” I look up to Guy who is standing in the doorway with a towel tied low around his waist.
“Sniff test,” I demand.
Guy takes one long leap toward the bed, sending me straight back into the mattress as he smooshes his chest to my face. He follows the same gyrating pattern with most of his body parts until I’m giggling so hard, I’m forced to sit up and gulp in oxygen.
“Pit test.” He raises one arm and launches his pit toward my nose.
“Enough.” I manage to get out between giggles.
Guy leaps on me, pressing my back into the mattress. His elbows resting on either side of my head while his large palms cup my face.
“Did I pass?” He asks with a half smile.
“Yes, for the love of Irish Spring, you are perfect.”
Guy bends down kissing the tip of my nose.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Guy,” I warn.
I don’t care for the tone in his voice.
“Simmer, Stressful Sally, it’s good news.”
I pet one side of his face letting my fingers drag down his long beard. “You’re going to make love to me?”
“In a minute,” he replies.
“Sixty seconds too long then.” I reach up and attack his lips. We kiss for a long time until we’re forced apart to refill our oxygen.
He drops his forehead to mine and begins to speak against my lips. “You know I still hang out at the tattoo shop?”
“Don’t tell me you’re getting your forehead tatted!”
His chuckle vibrates on my mouth. “No, smartass. I’ve been apprenticing there. I want to work there.”
&n
bsp; Tears spill over without warning from my eyes.
“Don’t worry. I’ll still be on the ranch to help you.”
I shake my head from side-to-side. “No. No. No. I’m just happy so fucking happy for you, Guy.”
“Yeah?” He asks.
“Yes,” I nod.
“Sixty-seconds are up baby,” he says.
I reach down and pull the towel from his hips. He helps me by raising his pelvis up for me. My clothes are off and on the floor in a flash. Somehow, we’ve managed to kiss hard and passionate while stripping one another down.
23
Guy
“To tuck it to the left or right? That is the question my dear friend.” -Amos
I roll Molly on top of me. It’s the most beautiful picture I’ve ever seen. Her long brown curls bounce off her shoulder as she slowly moves up and down on me. Her cheeks flush a pink rose as she nears her orgasm.
My fingers dig into her hips urging her along and keeping a steady rhythm. I’m so fucking close to spilling inside her that I’m forced to bite down on my bottom lip. I place my palms over her hands planted on my own chest.
“Baby, oh God, Guy, Guy, Guy, Guy,” she sings out my name in a song that will leave a mark forever in my heart. The heart she made beat again.
“Go, Molly,” I growl.
She continues to sing out my name. When she collapses down on me I spill into her chanting my own love song right back to her.
“I love you, baby.” I brush the hair away from her neck and kiss her tenderly.
“Carry me to the shower?” She asks keeping her face tucked in my neck. “Because you stink again.”
I laugh, but want nothing more than to pack her to the shower, have her again, and then clean her. We do exactly that. Molly’s exhausted by the time we make it into the bed. She cuddles up against the wall watching me eat my now cold dinner. Molly’s mom is a wicked cook and could never ruin a damn thing as far as I’m concerned.
I polish my plate off, brush my teeth, and then grab my notebook before heading to join Molly in bed. It’s my sketchbook, the one I picked up after returning home from war. I draw in it every night at the tattoo shop. It was also Molly’s face or her horses until I became addicted to getting my own tattoos and now I draw what inspires me. It’s a miracle in itself that inspiration is in my reach.
I’m just waiting for the perfect time to tell Molly that I want her to be my first. My ink and her skin marrying together for the first time ever will be epic. I’m pretty sure she’ll be open to the idea, but the thought of her turning me down is gut wrenching.
She rolls over, throwing an arm over my chest. We’re half sitting and half lying next to each other wrapped up in blankets.
“What’s that, baby?”
“My drawings.”
“Can I see?” She perks up.
“I’d love you to.” I pass her the notebook.
It’s surreal watching her flip through each page. Her eyes widen as she flips the page seeing the transition of my work. The pads of her fingers float over a page and when I peek up I see it’s Amos’ drawings. It’s when I’d finally mastered more detail. It was fear holding me back the whole time, but when I managed to let go, magic happened.
“You’re amazing, Guy.” Molly finished flipping through the pages, but went back to Amos’.
“Thanks, baby.”
“Can we frame this for our house when we get one.”
“Of course.” I kiss the top of her head. “I have a question for you.”
There’s no smartass remark from her, which surprises me.
“Yeah.” She nods.
“Will you be my first?”
“Seriously?” She beams widely.
“Yes, it has to be you, baby.”
“Anything for you.” She rolls up onto me, straddling my lap. “You’re my everything. You’re just like your horse. You’re royal to me just like my very own personal king and have traveled all over the atlas, but came home to me.”
She’s left me speechless. I don’t miss the fact that she had named the horse and gave it to me on purpose. It was just another way for her to reach out to me. This girl will be mine forever.
After several long and silent moments, she finally speaks again.
“What are you putting on me?”
“It’s in the book.”
“It is?” She drags the book between us and opens it again. “Show me.”
I shake my head from side-to-side. “No way. Look back through and see if you can find it.”
I watch her face with petite features flip through the pages. The light spray of freckles across the bridge of her nose shine under the light, I reach up and run my finger over them because they’re simply perfection. A curly tendril dangles over her shoulder beckoning me to play with it. I roll my finger over it, playing with her hair as she studies the book.
“I found it.” She covers her mouth with her hand while the other one runs over the drawing.
“Thoughts?” I ask.
“It’s perfect, so damn perfect.” She closes the book and then leans forward for a sweet kiss.
“Glad you like it.” I pay back her kiss quickly.
“I love it, but you’re telling my daddy.”
I grab her by the hips and throw her back on the bed tickling her ribs. She giggles and squirms underneath me. Rodney slowly awakes from his slumber on the bottom of the bed. He joins in on the fun. It’s this picture and sounds of laughter that will always get me through the darkest of days.
24
Molly
“I can’t be held responsible for my dick when you talk.” -Amos
I’ve been on the road for a week. Seven days too damn long for this girl. I’m ready to be home to see my two boys. Guy and Rodney. It was Guy who urged me to go on the road to three rodeos that have a hefty payout. He’s still dead set on me getting my pro card. He never wants to hold me back and for that I adore the man.
I traveled with two other girls and they’re off to hit five more rodeos. I’m not okay with being gone for another two weeks, so I sent Broker back with a fellow cowboy and rented a car.
Guy doesn’t know I’ll be home early nor does anybody else on Beartooth Ranch. I’ve always been shit at keeping secrets and this one has been the ultimate test of my limits. Daddy always calls me “Bean Spiller” around Christmas or birthdays because I could never keep my mouth shut.
I roll into town and spot Amos’ truck at the tattoo shop, but decide against stopping. I’ll wait until he invites me there. It’s his place where he’s learning his new role in life. And also, I’m scared shitless to step foot in there in case he decides it’s time for my new ink. I’m one tough cowgirl, but needles are my kryptonite.
I roll right through town and south to the ranch. The dusk is settling around the lush ranch land surrounding each side of the road. My heart is humming a happy tune and life is good.
I crank the current Miranda Lambert song and sing along. I know every single word since it’s my favorite jam of hers. “Famous in a Small Town,” hell it could be my national anthem for sure.
Other trucks and cars whiz by me and I give them the friendly wave even when I don’t recognize the car. It’s the thing you do around here. I look down to the console and grab my cellphone to make sure Guy hasn’t texted or called. We’ve made a habit of talking every night since I’ve been on the road.
Everything happens in the flash of a second, when I look back up to the road a truck is in my lane heading my way. My first instinct is to swerve off to the side, but there’s a bridge. I slam on the brakes and that is my first mistake since a car is on my ass. The sound of crushing metal is terrifying. The smell of smoke invades my senses, and then everything goes black.
I fight to pry my eyes open, but they just flutter shut on their own accord. I feel my body being moved and shouting voices all around, but everything is still charcoal black. It’s a creepy sensation and causes me to panic, but I can’t find my voice.
Panic rises up in the back of my throat as I fight to survive, but again nothing happens.
“You’re so lucky, sweetie.” Momma wipes the final tears from her face.
I offer her a weak smile that doesn’t offer up much comfort. I feel everything now. The pain coating my entire body and the fear of dying…it’s all so real. It took Guy several hours to finally settle down. He’s slumped in a chair with his hands holding up his head. It hurts that this simple accident is causing him to spiral, but it’s on him to fight to hold on.
“Let’s get you home, sugar. Guy has Molly.” My dad wraps his arm around her shoulders.
They both kiss me on the forehead before leaving. I push the damn pain button to let painkillers morph through my veins. It won’t be long until my world goes fuzzy again. The actions of one drunk driver nearly took my world away and it’s a damn painful thought.
I let my eyes close hoping to find sleep, but it doesn’t last long when an annoying voice interrupts me. I’ve been through enough today with having my spleen removed, a pinned arm, and a concussion, so I sure in the hell don’t need to deal with the nurse on duty. Mae. Fuck my life.
“Molly, just checking in.”
I bet you are, bitch.
“Fine.”
“Dr. Spindell had to leave and wanted me to let you know all your tests came back and they look good. No pregnancy this time.” She pops a hand on her hip. “Thank goodness, I wouldn’t want you going through that again.”
I’m not sure if it’s the painkillers or my anger, but I go dizzy. The whole world spins in circles so fast that I’m immediately sick. I try my best to reach up for something to throw up in, but can’t find anything.
“I’m…I’m going to be sick.”
Guy is up on his feet at the edge of the bed while Mae stands proud as can be watching everything go to shit. Yes, she’s the queen of the shit storm. The pained expression coating Guy’s face guts me, causing me to involuntary throw up everywhere, no bag or bucket in sight to catch the vile liquid.
One wretch and twist of my gut sends the nasty vomit all over my lap, but my body isn’t done. I continue to puke while the two stand and watch me. With every heave my body is sent into full-out pain that threatens a black out. When I’m done, I flop back on the bed exhausted and devastated.
