by HJ Bellus
I plop down on the recliner exhausted and fulfilled listening to the sweet sounds of Tessi bossing her daddy around. He follows her commands holding the baby just the right way and even changing its diaper.
“Momma.” Tessi looks up to me.
“What darling?”
“How did you know when you fell in love with Daddy?”
I bite down on my bottom lip not knowing how to answer this question. Guy stiffens to attention.
“It just happened,” I finally offer her.
She taps her chipping red fingernail against her little lip. “I think I’m in love.”
I have to stifle my laughter from the sight of Guy nearly passing out on the floor.
“With your daddy?” I ask in a hopeful voice.
She shakes her little head side-to-side, brown curls bouncing. “Nope, I’m in love with Miller. He’s nice and takes care of me.”
Guy curses under his breath and I crawl down to the floor to cradle my little love to my chest.
“Daddy, you’re about to bust her head off again.” Tessi points at the baby doll in his hands.
I reach out and grab his hand. “Easy, tiger.”
“Not funny, Hop, not funny.”
“Worked for us.” I wink at him.
32
Molly
“Uncle Stent is here.” Tessi busts out the door ready to fly in her uncle’s arms.
“My princess.” He scoops her up in his arms kissing the top of her head.
“Want to see my cake?” She claps her little hands together.
“Only if I get to eat some.”
She sternly taps his nose. “After dinner and presents, Uncle.”
“Okay, okay.” He gives in.
“Heads up.” Amos tosses a football to Stent who catches it easily with a free hand while holding Tessi.
“Sweet ass catch, Uncle.”
Guy growls towards Amos and Miller who are sharpening sticks to go spear fish down at the creek. We’ve given up on Amos’ damn mouth. Not the all-American parent thing to, but I’ve quickly learned how to pick my own damn battles with my strong-willed son.
“Daddy, Uncle is here,” Tessi squeals out.
Guy saunters up to his best friend and daughter. “I see the ugly man, sweetie.”
Tessi giggles in her hands. We are all use to their damn antics and just laugh.
Momma ushers us all in around the dinner table to enjoy dinner. Tessi slicks down her favorite meal of spaghetti with a delightful smile. Amos manages to flip one meatball into her lap paying her some brotherly love.
Guy smacks him up the backside of the head avoiding any further crisis. They fight like cats and dogs on steroids and I can only shake my head because they’re spitting images of my brother and me. Amos has been sent to the principal’s office a time or two for knocking some sense into the class bully who lives to harass Tessi. So, they fight, but I know in the end they’ll have a love that’s fierce.
We make our way to the living room floor to open presents. Tessi jumps in the middle of the pile with a contagious smile on her face. Guy drags me into his lap and whispers into my ear.
“We’ve done good, Hop, real good.”
I acknowledge him with a quick peck to the cheek. Tessi tears through her presents getting new toys, horse tack, and all sort of outfits. She opens her last gift and gasps in awe before pulling it from the little white box.
“What the hell is it?” Guy whispers.
I shrug. “She’s opened everything from the family.”
I make eye contact with Miller who is beaming with pride and on cue Tessi shouts it out.
“Thank you, Miller.” She clutches her little heart while she pulls out a necklace with a silver heart on the bottom.
“I’m going to break the little pecker’s legs off,” Guy growls.
I burst out in giggles and then slap him. “He’s a child.”
“I don’t care, she’s my damn daughter.”
“It’s just young love, baby.” I pat his leg trying to calm him down.
Stent doesn’t miss the chance to waggle his eyebrows at Guy making him even more pissed off.
Jesus, it’s going to take a miracle to get these kids raised and off into the world.
33
Molly
“Daddy, I can’t do this.” I clutch to my dad’s hand.
The fear is so great I can’t bear the pain.
“You have to, sweetie. It’s all part of life.”
It seems a lot of my story has been told with tears and today is no different. The salty tears stream down my face watching my son walk up the grass in his dress blues right next to his father.
I have no idea how my momma remained so damn strong when she went through this. It’s days like this that I need her more than ever. I’m not sure her broken spirit could’ve handled seeing another one of her boys go off to war. I can only hope she, Grandpa, and Amos watch over my son as he goes to protect our country.
“Momma.” Amos grabs me up in a hug. “It will be okay.”
It’s a twisted pain. How can I not be proud of my son for giving his life to our country to protect my freedom? But the greedy part of me wants him to stay home on the ranch forever, but the horses have never had his heart like they do Tessi’s.
Miller, dressed in his blues, joins us on the porch. I let go of Amos and hug him just as tightly. He’s like a son to me and it hurts just as bad. It’s double agony. Guy’s strong and loyal arm wraps around my shoulders holding me tightly to him. It’s his job to stay strong for the boys, but I know he’s hurting worse than me.
Tessi joins the group with red swollen eyes. Miller silently reaches for her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. Guy nods to him granting him permission. We stand as a family in silence on the front porch of my daddy’s house.
I never thought my life would completely crumble around me like it has today. Everything we’ve built over the years is being sent off into the world with no promise of returning.
“Baby, do you want to ride with us to the airport?” Guy whispers to me.
“I can’t.” The tears come faster. Somehow, I find a thread of courage and stand tall. “I’ll be waiting right here when your deployment is over and I expect both of you for dinner. I’ll expect no less.”
I stand with my shoulders squared and chin held high. Amos gives me one-more long hug before he grabs his bags and heads off. Once the dust from his truck settles over the lane, I crumble to my knees. My daddy and Tessi hold my crumbling frame as I sob for my son and pray like hell he will return home one day.
“Hop, you have to get up and keep going.” My daddy pulls my hair back from my face. “Cowgirls don’t cry.”
I sit back on my feet wiping the tears away trying and fighting like hell to find a way to survive.
“We have a rodeo to go to.”
Tessi kisses my check. “I’ll go trailer Royal Atlas.”
I hug her tightly to me. “I love you so much, Tessi.”
“Love you, too, Momma.”
“Let’s go win the State buckle.”
Royal Atlas has been our one steady who now carries my little girl on his back to gold buckles.
Epilogue
May 6, 2052
Tessi
“Momma,” I whisper.
It takes her long moments to wake up again and realize where she is. She’d started telling her story to Belle, but soon drifted off into her own cherished memories. Belle got enough for her report, but never left her bedside for two whole days. The two had always been inseparable between burning cookies and training horses.
“Baby, it’s time to go.” I rub Belle’s slumped back over the bed. “I’ll call you.”
I have to wipe away the tears before continuing on.
“Say your goodbyes, baby.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I can’t, momma.”
I nod.
Belle bends over kissing her grandma on the forehead for what will be the last ti
me. “I love you more than a good paint horse, Grandma. I love you.”
She stands tall, dries her tears, and then races into her father’s opens arms. Miller stood back in the doorway like a heroic statue.
She doesn’t stir and I know it’s not another tale where she drifted off into a far off memory. She’d just finished recanting the tale of my marriage to Miller. Her heart monitor begins to slow down.
“No, my sweet Molly.” My daddy cups her face in his. “Stay here with me, we have so many more days ahead of us.”
Steady tears stream down Daddy’s face and I watch as his heart shatters into pieces.
“Momma.” Amos steps up and holding Momma’s arm. “We love you so damn much. You’ve given us everything. Fly away with the angels.”
Amos who never cries and is only an asshole has tears matching mine. He looks over to me and urges me on with his chin.
“We’re here Momma. It’s okay.”
Her fragile body struggles as she fights to continue her survival. Her body is giving out on her even though her spirit is still wild and alive.
“Molly, oh sweet Molly.” My dad repeats over and over again while petting her face and peppering her with kisses.
The love my momma and daddy share is an epic one with no match in the universe. To see him lose the love of his life is earth shattering.
It takes daddy several long seconds before he gives the love of his life his permission to go. “Fly home my sweet hummingbird. Fly free my love.”
The dull sound of the heart monitor flat lines as my momma takes her last breath here on Earth. Amos rushes over to daddy’s side to hold him up to his chest.
My daddy has always been strong beyond belief. He was the one who held the family together with his broad chest and heart of gold. He’d rock momma to sleep the months Amos was away at war. But today his world just fell apart.
The hillside that held so many memories of Beartooth Ranch is somber today. The sky is cast with dark clouds and the chairs are filled with mourners. Several friends from town are left to stand. Daddy’s best friend, Stent, sits in the front row with his head bowed.
It’s the same hillside we were all married on and the same spot we’ve laid our family to rest. My fingers tremble while the back of my throat stings with raw pain when it’s my turn to stand up and speak. Amos had suggested rock, paper, and scissors to see who had to give the speech. It was just his jackass way to lighten the mood.
Miller gives me a nod from his seat when I make eye contact with him. He has Belle wrapped in his arms as she sobs into his chest. She’s a spitting image of my momma with a wild heart and fierce cowgirl attitude. They were best friends and this is crushing. Seeing your own child fighting through such sorrow has the ability to kill a piece of your inner soul.
“Thank you for coming.” I bite down on my bottom lip thinking how cliché and dumb that line is. “Our family is hurting beyond belief right now and I’m not sure there’s even words to cover the gaping hole left in all our hearts.”
I pause for a bit gathering my thoughts before speaking again. “We were raised on this ranch. The rich land taught us many life lessons. Amos mostly got his ass whipped by my daddy and Momma was always hot on his heels protecting him.”
There’s a light cloud of laughter from the mourners.
“Momma and Daddy lived in their ranch house for years making several memories for us kids. Miller and I moved into our grandparents’ house and Amos made an amazing house of the bunkhouse for his family. We woke up together, worked side-by-side, and had family dinners.”
The next words to leave my mouth slice my soul to the core.
“My daddy lost his will to live the day our momma passed away. He died of a broken heart.” The tears roll down my face. “There’s no way he could live one day without his wife by his side, so today we lay to rest both of our parents.”
My knees go weak and Amos is by my side holding me up. I can no longer go on as I feel my entire insides shatter from heartache and loss. It’s not fair.
“Tessi has always been the weaker one of us two.”
I elbow Amos to distract myself from own torment. He grunts for the crowd, but then goes on to give the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard.
“This hill has celebrated the act of love and loss for generations in my family. Beartooth ranch has been our home molded by our loving parents and grandparents. Yes, their loss will hurt us and leave a gaping hole, however, it’s now our job to keep the legacy strong and alive. To love and lose and our future of Beartooth Ranch.”
It was simple and poignant. The rest of the day goes by in a blur. I haven’t been able to focus on one thing. My entire body has gone numb to shield itself from pain and self-destruction. Miller’s strong arms keep me cuddled to his body. He also keeps a close eye on Amos, his best friend. A silent transfer of protectiveness and pride has shifted over to Miller. He’ll get us through it all.
“Dammit Tessi.” Amos’ voice booms out through the house.
The scent of burning cookies wafts into the living room. I roll my eyes at Miller and go to stand up. Before I can walk away he squeezes my hand pulling me back down to him.
“Told your daddy so many years ago, that I’d protect you over anything.”
I nod.
“You’re my Molly. My love and everything. I could never live without you, baby.” He caresses my cheek and then touches the tattoo on his chest. When he’d come home from Afghanistan, my daddy had inked the letters of my name over his hard chest.
“Mine always,” I whisper and kiss him quickly before breaking up the cookie fight in the kitchen that’s about to ensue.
“Don’t be an ass, Uncle,” Belle shrieks.
When I round into the kitchen Belle is red faced staring at burned cookies. Just like my momma she’s a shit cook. They’d get distracted way too easily.
“Here.” I pull out a chocolate mousse pie from the fridge. We had enough food to feed us for a year. It’s a sign of how amazing my parents were. The community is even mourning their loss.
“I want cookies.”
“Stop, you little ass.” I warn, waving a finger in his face.
Miller’s deep chuckle fills the kitchen. He’s joined the circus with a beer between his fingertips.
Amos has no kids and just went through a nasty divorce before Momma went downhill. So, he’s never ceased to be a royal pain in my ass. I toss him a butter knife and then get distracted by some letters on the counter.
“Tessi,” Amos whispers in a serious tone.
My heart can’t handle anymore ache today or anyone breaking down. There’s just a line where your heart cannot deal anymore. I take my time to look over at him. The moment I do, I know it’s a major mistake.
He advances quickly on me with the pie in his right hand with the whipped cream facing me. Even in our old age, Amos is still fast on his feet and before I can protest the pan of pie is in my face. He doesn’t only stop there, but smears it in for extra measure.
A cold dollop of cream splats down on the top of my foot.
“Asshole,” I yell through the pie mess.
Blindly, I reach out to push his chest, but I miss. His howls of laughter fill the kitchen like it has so many times in the past. I can’t fight the damn smile on my face. Once I get most of the mess wiped off, Amos is still smiling like a dumbass.
“What was that for jackass?” I take a step closer to him.
“Daddy’s not here to whip my ass for it.” He offers me a weak grin.
“You’re a dead man.”
“Let me help you, baby.” Miller rounds the table so quickly Amos doesn’t see him coming.
Miller has him pinned up against his chest giving me the ample chance to show my brother just how much I love him. I brush my face along his beard, shirt, and forehead until you couldn’t tell who really took the pie in the face.
Belle throws in a few burnt cookies for good measure. Our feet slip out from under us until the four
of us are wrestling around in the mess of pie. We laugh so hard, we all have sore bellies and tears rolling down our face. In those happy tears, I know we will all be just fine because we are one family together on Beartooth Ranch.
The End
About the Author
HJ Bellus is a small town girl who loves the art of storytelling. When not making readers laugh or cry, she's a part-time livestock wrangler that can be found in the middle of Idaho, shot gunning a beer while listening to some Miranda Lambert on her Beats and rocking out in her boots.
Website ➝ authorhjb.com
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Acknowledgments
Acknowledgments-
This was such a special book to write. Losing loved ones is one of the hardest things to experience in life. It changes the rest of your days forever. This book is to honor my two grandmothers who helped raised me. Much like Molly and Guy they left deep handprints on my heart.
I also want to thank every single one of the readers who took time to read this story. Without your passion of reading none of this would exist. Continue on enjoying great tales weaved together by authors from all over the world.
I also want to thank Cory Glauner for his witty statuses. He’s a true smartass who is funny. A real life Amos.
Playlist-
Kissin’ Frogs- RaeLynn
Southern Girl- Tim McGraw
Homegrown- Zac Brown Band
Better Dig Two- The Band Perry
Tailgate Blues- Luke Bryan
She’s Country (Club Mix)- Jason Aldean
Timing Is Everything- Garrett Hedlund
Sinners Like Me- Eric Church
How ‘Bout You- Eric Church
