Dukes to the Left of Me, Princes to the Right

by Kieran Kramer

  She gasped. Had he been reading her mind? She longed to disrobe … and have him run his hands all over her body.

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t touch you. No one ever gets touched. We do it to prove our mettle.”

  Blast.

  She shook her head. “I can’t.”

  “So much for your fun.” He began to walk toward the door.

  “All right,” she cried.

  He turned around, his expression serious. “Very well, then.”

  She rather liked the idea, if she were honest. She’d be disrobing for king and country. Even the martyrs buried at St. Paul’s wouldn’t fault her for doing her duty.

  Slowly, she pulled at the ribbons of her bodice.

  CHAPTER 14

  One pull.

  Two.

  Nicholas saw the fabric on Poppy’s gown loosen and kept his face impassive, but his body betrayed him. Heat spread from limb to limb. He could barely breathe, thinking of her disrobing in front of him.

  Dear God, he wondered, would she do it? Would she run naked around the gallery—just so she could have secret adventures?

  “Think of England,” he told her. “That’s what my colleagues and I do.” It was a cheeky enough piece of advice from a cool, experienced bachelor, wasn’t it? Even though his heart was hammering.

  “I already thought of England,” she said, her face implacable, and began to shrug out of one sleeve.

  My, she was cool under pressure.

  Nicholas rubbed a hand down his face. No way could he carry the ruse any further. He’d be a scoundrel to tease her out of her clothes, and she was a minx to look as if she were enjoying herself. The unruffled pleasure she took in wriggling out of that sleeve was enough to make the front of his breeches tighten to an embarrassing degree.

  “That’s enough,” he said firmly, feeling the joke was on him.

  “It is?”

  “I wanted to make sure you were serious.”

  She sucked in a breath. “You mean, you and your colleagues don’t disrobe and run around the gallery three times?”

  “No. But congratulations. You passed the test.”

  “My goodness.” Her hand froze on her sleeve. “You were lying.” She let her hand drop to her side. “You’re no gentleman.”

  “Perhaps I’m not.” He pulled a cheroot out of his pocket and lit it. As usual, it was a fine distraction and he only wished he had some brandy to go with it. “But it was only a game. Nothing worth naming seconds over.”

  He puffed on the cheroot once, removed it, and let the smoke curl upward into the night.

  “Game?” She flicked a wary glance at his breeches. “For whom? You or me? Being called an Impossible Bachelor shouldn’t grant you leave to have boorish manners. Has no other female called you on them? I’m here to work with you—as your colleague. Not to be treated like one of your … your women.”

  “Yes, well, I am sorry.” He couldn’t believe it, but even though the cheroot was a fine one, he couldn’t stave off a vague feeling of shame. He ground the smoky thing under his boot, then sprawled out on the stone floor of the gallery. “Sit.” He patted the stones beside him. “We’ll waste no more time on petty quarrels.”

  Deuce take it, he wished he could perform his sensual Indian maneuver on her, the one that calmed the angriest of females, but she wasn’t naked, and that was a requirement for it to work properly.

  “I won’t sit.” She arched a brow. “Not until you receive a comeuppance. Flimsy apologies won’t do.”

  He heaved a sigh. “Come now. I already said I was sorry.”

  He tried to ignore the fact that her bodice was still unlaced, but he also didn’t want to tell her. Glancing at it was like taking a sip from a hot buttered rum on a freezing cold day.

  She pursed her lips. “Stay where you are, Drummond. I know the perfect punishment for a smug rogue like you.”

  “Is that so?” He couldn’t resist a small chuckle.

  Her.

  Punishing him.

  Ha.

  “Remember,” she ordered him. “Don’t move.” With slow fingers, she loosened her laces even further.

  He lurched forward. “Wait a minute.” He could really use that brandy now. His mouth was perfectly dry. “What’s going on here?”

  She sent him a well-satisfied look, then turned her back—and, much to his shock, shimmied out of the top of her gown and stays.

  She looked at him over her bare shoulder. “I’m not one of your jaded mistresses, nor am I a silly debutante. I’m a Spinster. You’d do well to remember.”

  He was mesmerized by her flirtatious stance, her hands on her hips, and by the sight of the smooth plane of her back tapering to a tiny waist. He could only imagine what her breasts looked like. She was beautiful and strong—and he wanted her.

  Badly.

  “This is certainly an exquisite sort of punishment,” he murmured. He was unsettled by her, to say the least, and not only by her curvaceous form.

  “Well, it’s over,” she said lightly. And with quick, sure movements, she pulled her gown and stays back up, laced herself in, and turned back around, delivering him one last disapproving look. “Now, if you’d like to continue a discussion between equals, we may proceed.”

  And with a flounce, she sat down next to him.

  He studied her, more intrigued than he’d been in ages. He’d never met a female like her. “I’m supposed to be able to recover from that?” He gave a small laugh of disbelief. “Seeing a proper young lady reveal herself in almost half her naked glory?”

  She shrugged, adjusting her bodice. “You’ll have to.” She tried to maintain a severe expression, but then the corner of her mouth quirked up.

  He grabbed her wrist. “I deserved every bit of that torture.” He was pleased to see she allowed herself a small grin. “Just don’t make me go through it again, will you? Or maybe you should. But from the other side.”

  She slapped his hand. “Absolutely not,” she said, then wagged a finger at him. “You must promise me not to tell any of your drinking friends what I did. It was only to prove a very important point. And if you have to ask what it is, you didn’t learn a thing.”

  “Believe me, I learned.” She’d brought him to his knees, at least figuratively. He couldn’t remember the last person who’d managed that. He wasn’t so sure he wanted any of his friends to know.

  “Now,” she said, her pique completely vanished, “we can get back to business.” She gave him a warm smile, and he tried not to feel pleased about being back in her good graces.

  “Very well,” he said. “Here’s the thing. I have to retrieve a painting for England.”

  It felt good to confide the details of his job with someone other than Groop.

  “Tell me more.” She leaned closer, her pupils sharpening and her lips parted like two pink rose petals.

  Two very soft, supple rose petals.

  Which he would ignore, he told himself. Duty must come first. Always.

  And besides, she wanted him to treat her like a man.

  No, not a man. As his partner. His colleague.

  He could do that.

  “We refer to the portrait as Pink Lady,” he said. “It’s said to be of a gorgeous woman in a pink gown dancing with her lover.”

  “It sounds lovely.” Her eyes sparkled at the additional revelations.

  “It might well be. But it’s in the wrong hands.”

  “Whose hands?”

  “Natasha and Sergei’s, the Russian twins.”

  Poppy’s eyebrows shot high. “You can’t take anything from them. I’m sure they truly own the painting.”

  “Oh, but they don’t. I can’t say how I know, but I do. And the government has excellent reasons for wanting it. Somewhere in the background of the painting is a secret message. It reveals a mole in Parliament.”

  “A mole?”

  “Someone on our side spying for another country.”

  “I do know what a mole is
.” She gave him a droll look. “I’m the daughter of a very active member of the House of Lords, remember. But what sort of person hides a message about someone as dastardly as a mole in a painting?”

  “Someone who works for the Service. We tend to like drama. Besides, letters get intercepted. Messengers get killed. Who’d think to look at a painting? It’s a clever method of communication.”

  She released a little huff of air. “So you have to steal it.”

  “Not steal. Retrieve. Big difference.”

  “Of course.” Spoken like a true Service professional. She scooted closer to him. “Go on.”

  “The difficult part”—it was hard to think with her shoulder touching his—“is that Sergei and Natasha believe they own it.”

  “But they don’t. Poor things. Why can’t you just ask them to hand it over?”

  “Two reasons. It’s worth a great deal of money, and it brings them all sorts of attention. Their uncle Revnik painted it, after all. They don’t know he worked for us and had every intention of getting that painting to his English contacts in the Service. But he died rather suddenly of the smallpox, and the Service had no idea what happened to the painting.”

  “What drama!”

  She was right.

  “Now the twins are in England,” he said, “cutting their swath through London society. They’re bored, they’re rich, and they crave constant amusement.” Nicholas laid a hand on her knee. “We can’t let them know we want the painting. It’s a matter of national security.”

  “Oh, heavens,” she whispered, putting her own hand over his and squeezing hard. “National security. Papa deals with that all the time. How do you plan to retrieve the portrait?”

  “At the ball at the Russian ambassador’s residence. We’ll take it that night, before anyone sees it.”

  “With all of London society there?”

  “It’s the best time. Distractions will abound. And when they finally realize the portrait’s missing, they’ll have a long list of possible suspects to sift through.”

  “I see.” Her eyes gleamed with shrewd understanding.

  “Your job is—”

  She drew even closer. “Please don’t make it a sinecure. I want to do something substantive. It would make Papa proud.”

  “Very well.” Nicholas liked her enthusiasm, her appealing grin, and her impressive vocabulary. And he must admit, her hand covering his. “Have you ever heard the expression ‘Keep your enemies close?’ ”

  She drew back with a happy sigh. “Of course. My secret club says that all the time. ‘Know your foe,’ which I think is a bit strong as most of our suitors are perfectly lovely people. It’s only those rude ones like Lord Washburn who drive us mad.”

  “All right, then. While you may not consider Natasha your enemy—and I know you don’t believe Sergei is—you must realize they’re our opponent at the moment, whether they know it or not. Your job is to help keep them happy while I figure out how to get the painting back.”

  “I’m thoroughly committed to that idea,” she said breathlessly, which didn’t surprise him, of course. “As for the painting, you’ll retrieve it alone?”

  “Yes. I’ve got a map of the interior of the Russian ambassador’s residence. I’ve been inside once—but not far—and am familiar with their usual level of security. I’m assuming it will be stepped up. My task will be to locate the painting before they bring it to the ballroom. Count and Countess Lieven are excellent hosts and no doubt will want to build suspense, so I suspect they’ll save the unveiling until the middle or end of the ball.”

  “I can also help steal the painting. I mean, retrieve.”

  Gad, she was becoming a little too enthusiastic. “No,” he said firmly, “that’s not a good idea.”

  “But—”

  “There are no buts. Remind the twins you know the Russian language. Show them around London. Do whatever it takes to keep them content to be here—short of flirting with Sergei outright. Everyone must believe you and I are happily engaged, of course.”

  Her face fell. “How on earth will I not flirt with him?”

  “You must find a way.” He chuckled. “Think of him as your brother.”

  “Brother?” She crossed her arms. “That reminds me. He and Natasha hate each other.”

  “I know. We’ll simply have to endure their squabbling—and prevent it if possible. The last thing we want is for them to leave the country in some sort of snit, taking the painting with them before the ball. And you have to understand—here and now, before we begin—that no matter how you’re affected personally, you must do your job, despite what anyone else thinks about you. You must be strong and unwavering. Sometimes working for Groop can make you feel lonely. You won’t be able to explain to your best friends or your family what you’re doing. Occasionally, you might have to make up a bald-faced lie with no warning and be believable as you deliver it. Are you sure you’re up to the task?”

  “Of course I am,” she said, a wrinkle on her brow.

  “What are you thinking?” Drummond asked her.

  “Of Sergei. You make him sound like a petulant child. I spent a week with him when I was fifteen,” she said dreamily, “and he was nothing of the sort. He was very romantic.”

  Nicholas restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “Exactly what constitutes ‘romantic’ to a fifteen-year-old girl? Chaste kisses? Searing looks?”

  She huffed. “If you’d only read the Russian poets, you’d know.”

  “Who says I haven’t read the Russian poets?” He arched a brow.

  “Have you?”

  He’d read them all, although he wouldn’t tell her. Instead, he grabbed her hand and pulled her so close, their noses almost touched. “I’m the dreaded Duke of Drummond, so it doesn’t follow that I’d be a romantic who reads Russian poetry, does it?”

  They stared at each other a moment, their mouths only inches apart. A sudden chill wind blew a strong gust that whistled around the gallery, lifting their hair and tugging at their clothes.

  Despite the dropping temperature, Nicholas felt hot, unbridled lust.

  “You’re right,” she agreed in a whisper, “it doesn’t follow at all. However, Sergei has read them—in fact, he’s memorized some of those poems and recited them to me—so no doubt he’ll find a wealthy bride whom he also loves.”

  Nicholas dropped her hand. The girl was convinced Sergei had godlike qualities.

  “You have your assignment,” he said dryly. “And we’ve a façade to maintain. We’re going to test the waters as a betrothed couple at a literary social to be held tomorrow at Lady Gastly’s. I’ve already been to the Howell residence and invited Natasha. Sergei is in his own rented apartment several blocks away. Even though Natasha sulked about how we’d treated her in the park today, she eventually accepted for both of them.”

  Poppy gathered her skirt in folds. “I—I’m a bit nervous.”

  “Why?”

  “I might have been good at making up tales about being engaged to the Duke of Drummond, but I’m not a good liar in general. I’ll stumble. I’ll blurt something out, like, ‘We’re not really engaged.’ At least in the park today, we had a sort of distance from everyone ogling us.”

  Nicholas sighed. “If you insist on having fun with me, as you say, you’ll need to trust yourself.”

  “Of course.” She appeared rather embarrassed at her show of nerves.

  He stood and pulled her up by the hand. “By the way,” he said, “you’ve established a long-running story that we’re marrying for love. So don’t forget to act the part.”

  “But—”

  “I know you’re bound and determined not to marry me. That’s not the point. You’ve made your bed and you have to lie in it. You’ll have to pretend to be in love with me, whether you like it or not.”

  “You’ll have to help carry it off, as well,” she insisted.

  Somehow, beneath the gibbous moon and brilliant stars, Nicholas found it was easier to imagi
ne they could.

  CHAPTER 15

  Poppy sat up in bed the next morning and had a stunning thought: she was doing clandestine work—for the Service. She could hardly believe it.

  And she was completely over feeling sorry for her beloved Sergei and his rude sister. Yes, it was unfortunate that the painting wasn’t really theirs. But if Sergei married her, she’d make sure he never missed it.

  She climbed out of bed and eyed her reflection in the looking glass.

  Love. That’s what she saw. It was written all over her face. Her eyes were bright. Her mouth—well, she simply couldn’t stop grinning.

  It was her duty to keep Sergei happy.

  Could Fate be any more kind?

  All she had left to do was make sure he was as in love with her as she already was with him.

  Oh, right—and then she’d have to get out of her engagement with the duke. She kept forgetting about that part. But once she showed Drummond the door—in a polite way, of course—it was all smooth sailing from there on out.

  With that hopeful scenario in mind, that afternoon she accompanied Drummond, Sergei, and Natasha to Lady Gastly’s literary salon, the latest social spectacle.

  Lady Gastly took her arm as soon as she entered the vast drawing room filled with members of the ton. “I heard about your betrothal to that duke,” she whispered in Poppy’s ear.

  Even though she’d ridden over in the carriage with Drummond, their thighs touching, Poppy had been trying very hard to forget about him. Especially because last night when they’d arrived at the bottom of St. Paul’s again, he’d dragged her out into the street and kissed her senseless.

  “I knew you wanted me to kiss you,” he’d said halfway through the brazen encounter, “but not on top of a church.” And he’d busied himself caressing her hips and bottom and teasing her mouth mercilessly with his own.

  She’d abhorred that he was such a mind reader.

  “It was shocking, absolutely shocking,” Lady Gastly was saying now. “Do tell the details.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” Poppy said awkwardly, still lost in her own kissing-outside-St. Paul’s details.