Beautifully Revealed

by Bethany Bazile

  Back in our suite, Lucas’s demeanor is dismal and the blank look on his face worries me. He refuses to eat and won’t even attempt to get some rest.

  “You should really get some sleep, Lucas.”

  “Will you come with me?” he pleads sadly.

  I shake my head at him and he rubs his forehead with his hand. “Please Izzy, just lie with me. You always had a way of helping me get to sleep.”

  I feel horrible saying no, but this would make Liam crazy. “I can’t.”

  He nods and doesn’t push the issue any further. We sit in silence until I begin to drift off to sleep on the couch. Less than an hour later his phone rings. We both look at it, then at each other.

  “Hey Dad,” he says into the phone. My heart begins to race because this could mean they found her and she’s fine or…I can’t even think about the other possibility.

  His eyes lock with mine and I see the tears beginning to form, and all I can do is shake my head in disbelief. He hangs the phone up and sighs deeply before saying anything, “They found her, but she’s not good.” His voice begins to shake so he inhales and exhales to calm the tremors. “She was in a car crash and has been stuck in her car for hours. She went over the embankment and her car was found in a ditch. Now she’s in critical condition.” Tears begin to pour down his face and I move towards him in auto pilot.

  “Izzy, this is like what happened to my mother all over again.” My heart breaks for him. I hold him in my arms wishing I could absorb some of his pain, but the pain I already carry around is too much of a burden for me. How can I possibly know what to do for him when I never know what to do for me?

  “Our flight is in five hours, let’s go to bed.” If he needs me to hold him tonight that’s what I’ll do for him. I run into my room and change into a t-shirt and shorts before joining Lucas in his bed. He lays his head on my chest while I hold him tightly, his tears soaking my shirt until he finally dozes off.

  Liam’s fingers are lightly stroking my clit. His tongue is licking behind my ear, causing me to moan. I gently rock my hips against his hand as I try to clear my sleep haze. I take a deep breath and freeze, every muscle in my body locks up because Liam’s smell is ingrained in my system and right now I realize I’m still in bed with Lucas.

  I leap out of the bed in complete shock. My eyes bulge, my breathing escalates and I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from screaming. Lucas looks at me confused, and I have the urge to slap his face.

  “Are you fucking crazy!” I scream at him. “I slept in this bed with you as a favor to a friend and you take advantage of me!”

  “Izzy, calm down, it’s nothing we haven’t done before. Plus you were enjoying it.” This is wrong on so many levels. I haven’t felt this sexually vulnerable in years and I’m shocked that Luc would do this to me.

  “Lucas, I’m with Liam and I love him, I would never do anything to risk losing him. You violated my trust.”

  He runs a hand through his hair and sorrow clouds his features, “I’m sorry Izzy, I just wanted to forget, to feel something other than this pain. I shouldn’t have touched you.”

  I shake my head, still in disbelief of what just happened. I want to stop lying to Liam, but how do I tell him this? This is exactly what he was afraid of before I left. “I can’t even talk to you right now.” I feel sick to my stomach as I walk to my room. Lucas is not aware of my past but this feels very reminiscent of how Damon took my choice away from me. I shouldn’t feel this way. I slept with Lucas for years, but his right to touch me ceased when I ended our relationship.

  I shower and dress, dreaming up the different scenarios of what will happen when I tell Liam, but all of them don’t turn out good for me. By the time we get to the airport and board the plane I haven’t said a word to Lucas, and he’s keeping a safe distance from me.

  The flight seems longer than it actually is. I fluctuate between pretending to flip through my e-reader and clicking through the on flight television to keep busy. By the time we land I’m so anxious to see Anna and to hear any news about her condition that I’m chewing on my nails.

  We take a cab straight to the hospital and once we get to Anna’s floor Lucas’s hands are shaking so badly I stop him and give him a hug. I’m so angry at him, but the woman behind that door is a mother to him, and I know he’s hurting. He gives me a weak smile before I grab his hand and lead him into her room. Broad shoulders and unruly wavy hair greet me as we enter the room.

  My heart flutters as I realize Liam fought back his resentment and came to see his mother. He’s standing next to Anna’s bed and immediately turns to look at us as we enter the room. His eyes travel to Lucas’s and my linked hands before he turns back around and continues to stare at Anna. Lucas seems too afraid to move so he just stands near the door watching quietly with a death grip on my hand. When I finally manage to break free from him, I join Liam next to Anna’s bed.

  I caress his arm and he glances at me sadly. Anna looks worst than I expected. Her face is bruised and has almost a grayish complexion. She has a cut on her lip and eyebrow, which look like they’ve already been stitched up. A beeping monitor is the only noise in the room until the door opens and a doctor steps in. He introduces himself before checking on Anna. As soon as he’s done with Anna, Lucas finally speaks up. “How is she?”

  “Let’s step into the hallway,” he answers. We all follow him into the hallway, staring at him with anxiously.

  “Anna suffered severe head trauma, broken ribs and internal bleeding. The fact that she survived for all those hours is a miracle. We’ve done all we can for her but she may only have a couple hours left.”

  The three of us stare at him like deer caught in the headlights. Anna had been a mother to all of us in different ways, and now this doctor is telling us to say good-bye. Lucas is the first to break down into a fit of tears. He pulls me into his arms and I physically battle with my tears. I need to be strong for Lucas and for Liam. I look around and find Liam staring at us embracing.

  “Ella, I need to talk to you,” he says and I feel like I’m caught in the battle between Lucas and Liam all over again.

  Lucas’s hold on me tightens and he barks out, “No!” He glares at Liam before turning back to me, “Izzy, I need you now more than ever. We were so good together, it’s time for you to come back home. I still love you.”

  Liam barrels down on us, yanking me out of Lucas’s arms, and I feel like walking out this hospital and not looking back. I don’t want to be the person who incites this war between them; right now I want to focus on Anna.

  “You stay the fuck away from her,” Liam growls. “As much as you hate it, she’s mine, she loves me.”

  Lucas’s face twists into angry scowl. “Then why was my hand down her panties this morning?”

  Ohh Shit!

  I think the world just stood still because I can’t move, and everything is moving in slow motion. I feel instant pain in my heart that Lucas would hurt me this way. It wasn’t enough that he took advantage of me, now he’s using it as a weapon against Liam.

  Liam’s fist connects with Lucas’s face and he falls backwards, skidding across the floor. I can only watch as Lucas covers his bleeding nose with his hand. Liam flexes his hand before turning to glare at me.

  “It’s not what you think, I was sleeping. I swear he took advantage of the situation.” He shakes his head, looking disgusted by me. I stop him as he tries to walk past me. “Where are you going?”

  “Back to Florida. Anna has her true son here now, she doesn’t need me.”

  “I’m coming with you.”

  “No.” He flings my hand off his arm and storms down the hallway.

  I decide not to follow him. As much as I want to go after him and explain, or at least make sure he’s alright, I can’t. Instead I spend the night in the hospital with Anna and Lucas’s dad. I don’t want to miss any of the time that I have left with the woman who taught me loving mothers do exist

  Chapter 6

&n
bsp; Liam

  I’m drawn back to the hospital the next morning. After yesterday’s confrontation in the hallway, I’m ashamed. Ashamed of my reaction to Lucas’s petty taunts. I came here for Anna, and before I leave I feel compelled to at least see her one last time. The sterile hallways give me the chills. Like they’ve tried to clean away the scent of sickness and death, but it’s not working. The scent lingers in the air, invisible and undetectable, but it’s here. You can’t wash away death with disinfectant and a mop. It remains in the confines of those who are left behind.

  When I get to Anna’s room, I’m not sure if I can make myself to go in. I feel like I don’t belong, an intruder in my own mother’s hospital room. I take a deep breath, and decide I’m not leaving here without seeing her.

  Ella is alone in Anna’s room when I enter. She gets up from her chair and watches me warily. “You came back.”

  I nod at her as I walk over to Anna’s bed. She looks so fragile, her skin pale and gray, her hair a tangled mess against the white pillows. I reach out and touch her hand, she feels cold so I rub her icy fingers between my hands as if she can feel it. I hope she can’t feel it. I don’t want her to feel cold or pain. Being alone in that car for all those hours must have been excruciating.

  I’ve hated her for so long.

  Too long.

  She’s my mother and I love her, but love is simple, pure, and easy. But that’s before it’s tainted with lies, deception, and worst of all abandonment. That kind of tainted love can shatter you, it’s life-altering. It alters the person you were, until you’re not even capable of forgiveness.

  “Do you have a brush?” I ask Ella.

  “A brush?”

  I turn and nod at her confused expression. “She would hate that her hair is a mess,” I explain.

  Ella hands me a brush from her purse, and I sit on the edge of the bed slowly brushing Anna’s golden hair. “When I was a boy I used to do this all the time. I was terrified one of my friends would find out because I’d be so embarrassed, but I secretly loved it. It always made her so happy.”

  We weren’t meant to be this way. I loved her and she loved me, but she was broken by my father. She used to tell me that my name meant I was a protector, but I failed her, I didn’t protect her when she needed someone. I pull her hair over her shoulder and run my fingers through it.

  A noise distracts me from my memories. I look over my shoulder and watch Mr. Fields walk in. He stops at the bottom of the bed and nods his head at me. He used to be my family until he took my mother away from me, but really he was the one who protected her so I can’t continue to hate him. I return his nod before turning back towards my mother. I place a kiss on her cheek and whisper into her ear, “I forgive you, Mom.” I swallow the emotions in my throat as I get up and leave the room, letting her have a moment alone with her husband.

  Ella joins me in the hallway sitting closely by my side. Neither one of us speaks a word, but when she reaches out and holds my hand it feels right. Our connection always soothes me, comforts me in an unexplainable way. The hours pass by slowly. I hardly even notice Lucas when he arrives. We take turns sitting with Mom, and I even imagined her fingers moving when I told her I love her.

  Ella remains by my side, quietly observing my reactions. She may be the only thing holding me together right now, and I appreciate her more than she’ll ever know. At one point Lucas comes out of the room and sits across from us. He looks at our intertwined hands and his frown deepens. He’s making Ella feel guilty for sticking by me, but her grip on my hand tightens and she leans over to kiss my face, letting me know she won’t choose Lucas over me.

  When Mr. Fields steps out the room, we all sit up in our chairs. His red rimmed eyes are mournful and before he speaks a word I already know. I can feel it.

  She’s gone.

  Lucas’s wail echoes through the hallway and Ella’s quiet sobs chip at what’s left of my control. I lean over, cover my face with my hands, and after a few shallow breaths I’m able to regain my composure. I won’t let this break me. The pain of love lost and left over regrets eat away at me inside. But outside I’m wearing a mask. I’m the strong, vigilant mogul who has no weakness, or at least I appear to be.

  ********

  We stay in the city for a week to prepare for Anna’s funeral. With Lucas and his dad so distraught, I took over the arrangements. It helped to keep me busy. Ella’s been hovering over me. She’s determined to help me through this. Between all the meals she cooked and the times she sat with me and listened to the stories about Anna, you would think we would be in a good place, but I feel a lot of anger towards her.

  The night before Mom’s funeral I ask her, “Do you think she knew I still loved her?”

  She smiles at me sadly. “Of course she knew. As angry as you were, the love you felt for her still shone in your eyes. She saw it. I see it.”

  She leans over and kisses me gently. Her lips are soft and I unconsciously deepen the kiss wanting more from her. The slow slide of our tongues incites a raging inferno of lust in me. I lie on the carpet and pull her over me, pressing her into my straining erection. She rubs her heated sex against me and I want to slide deep into her, but I can’t. I push her off and sit up, gasping for breath.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t, Ella. What happened between you and Lucas still makes me sick.”

  “Liam, I told you I was sleeping. I would never willingly let him do that.”

  “That doesn’t matter, right now I need to focus on my mother.” I get up and leave the room because my resistance is thin. Hopefully a cold shower will help ease the ache.

  ********

  The day of the funeral is rainy and gloomy. I wonder why most funerals I’ve ever been to were during dark, dismal days? Is it Mother Nature’s way of crying for a soul taken too soon, or does the weather reflect the emotions of those left behind. Ella is my rock. Regardless of what may have happened, she’s been here for me through this. I haven’t given myself the time to be angry at her, but I know it’s festering inside me, I just don’t know when it will erupt.

  She clings to my arm at the grave site, trying to shield me from the rain with an umbrella, but the wind quickly mangles it and rain washes over us. The cold droplets leave me feeling as cold on the outside as I feel inside. Ella wipes her face with her hand and I’m not sure if she’s wiping tears or raindrops. We’re alike in that way. Tears are foreign to us, a weakness. So as we watch others pour their grief out though their tears, we trap our grief inside to begin an endless circle of pain. Maybe their stronger than I am because they have the courage to show their weaknesses but I can’t bring myself to show my weakness. The looks of pity I would receive are not what I need right now.

  Lucas’s forlorn eyes watch Anna’s casket being lowered. When his mother passed away years ago, I held him up and tried to absorb his pain, now that my mom is gone he somehow has more right to grieve for her than I do, and it makes me sick inside. Lucas has always been selfish but he blinds people to his true character. I feel cheated of the years Lucas and my father stole from me. The last time I spoke to her I told her maybe someday, well we ran out of somedays and there’s no going back.

  So on a dark and dreary morning, I say goodbye to hope, and hold on to my memories. I say goodbye to Anna, but hold on to the mother who held me at night in my heart.

  Isabella

  The flight home was long and awkward. Liam has been non-existent since his mother passed away. He’s stuck in his head, and the words between us are few and mostly about his memories of Anna. I encourage him to speak about her, hoping it will help him heal. Help him release the guilt he feels for not fixing their relationship before time ran out.

  Funny thing about fate is it tries to guide us to where we should be at any given time, but it can’t force us to give second chances. Liam’s chance with his mother slipped away and it’s weighing heavily on him.

  I was nervous to even come back to Florida. In Chicago
Liam wouldn’t even let me stay the night with him. It felt strange to be back in my condo, especially when I knew Liam was suffering alone. Being in my condo threw me back to a place I didn’t want to be. My life has changed so much since I left this city and I can’t even imagine losing Liam and our life together. That one night I kissed him made things worse, he withdrew further into himself, and practically stopped talking to me. Not coming home with him wasn’t an option because there was nothing left for me in Chicago. Everything I need is here with him now.

  I watch Liam come out of our bedroom with a duffel bag on his shoulder and he avoids looking at me as he walks to the door. Panic sets in.

  He’s leaving me.

  “Where are you going?” We just got back to Florida last night and now he’s taking off. I could feel this coming, the rift between us had become too large.

  “I’m leaving,” he says as I cut off his exit by stepping in front of him. “I’m going to stay downstairs for a while.”

  “With Arianna?” I shriek at him.

  “She moved out last week.”

  “Liam, please just let me help you. You shouldn’t be alone.”

  “That’s exactly what I need, some time to get myself together.”

  “Let me help you through this. Let me love you.”

  He smiles sadly, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I remember when I was ten my mom said to me ‘Lee, the greatest gift in life is love,’” he hangs his head sullenly before continuing. “It feels more like it’s my greatest curse. I lost my mom years ago and before I could get her back, she’s taken away forever. Everyone I’ve ever loved has either left me or it turned out I never even knew them in the first place. Lucas was like my brother until he lied to me and practically stole my mother, I haven’t spoken to my father in weeks and I’m sure I never will. Anna left me, no matter the reason, she left me and never looked back, and now it’s too late. And you…you will be the worst of them all. I can’t stay Ella, because when the time comes for you to leave me…” he lifts his head and the single tear trickling down his face breaks me.