The Bridesmaid's Daughter

by Nyna Giles

  To my side there was an area with votive candles. I decided to light one for my mother and one for Robin. As the choir continued to sing, I bent to touch the taper to the wick, and the following words came into my head: “Stopped in to a church I passed along the way.… well, I got down on my knees and I pretend to pray.…” They were lyrics from one of Robin’s favorite songs, “California Dreamin’.” She used to sing it to me, strumming on her guitar. In that moment, I felt my sister was standing alongside me in the church, just as she had always done when she was alive, holding my hand, whispering in my ear.

  I left the church and went back to my hotel. The next day, I was due to travel home to New York, but in so many ways, the journey was already over. I had gone to every place connected with my mother and her life. I had met her family, her friends, the people she had known as a model. I had met with medical professionals who had helped me to understand her illness. I had gone back to every memory of her from my childhood, and instead of turning away this time, I’d squared myself up to the past, asking every question, imagining every implication and scenario. It had been a long journey, and I was tired now, but there had been a reason for my persistence: I was trying to let my mother know how much I loved her, how much I still love her. I hoped she understood that. As I packed my bags and prepared to leave Lourdes, I knew with complete certainty that my mother loved me in return, that despite everything, she had been trying to do what she believed was best for me.

  During this period of my research, I dreamt of my mother for the first time in years. In the dream, I was standing in the house on Long Island. I was alone. It was nighttime, and the room was very dark. I felt filled with fear, certain that something very bad was about to happen. I wanted to run away, but instead, I found myself drawn, as if by some invisible force, to the center of the house and then the kitchen. I looked up. I saw my mother, standing in a glow of pinkish-white light. She was beautiful, still young, dressed completely in white; she looked at me with so much love. I tried to say her name, but all I could get out was “Ma.” When I woke up, I was still calling for her.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  My journey to write this book began on October 27, 2013, when I received a Facebook message from a stranger, Eve Claxton.

  Eve told me that she was a writer, and she was hoping to write a book about the history of the Barbizon Hotel for Women. In the course of her preliminary research, Eve had stumbled on an article about Grace Kelly’s stay at the hotel and her friendship with my mother. Since then, Eve had been attempting to track me down. It hadn’t been easy for her to find me, as I had changed my name to Giles after marriage, but fortunately, Eve came across a photo of Grace’s wedding on Flickr, with a comment left by my husband explaining that his wife was Carolyn’s daughter. This had given Eve the clue to my married name.

  Eve and I met for lunch shortly after. I told her that I had contemplated writing a book to honor my mother but could never summon the courage to do so, given the sheer complexity of the task. Not long after that, Eve and I decided to collaborate on a book, weaving together the years of Carolyn and Grace’s friendship with my childhood memories and coming of age.

  It was incredibly reassuring to me to see that Eve believed in my mother’s story from the very beginning, which only served to build my own confidence, as we worked to put the pieces of the puzzle together. We interviewed anyone we could find who had known my mother. We spent countless hours digging into the archives of libraries and historical societies and trawled the deepest reaches of the internet. We were both equally passionate about The Bridesmaid’s Daughter and about bringing the story to a wider audience.

  Our deepening friendship made me realize over time that Eve is the only person who could have gone on this journey with me. I am so grateful to her for her patience, her perseverance, her amazing way with the written word, and her ability to always capture what was in my heart. I have had complete trust and faith in Eve, who ultimately made me feel safe in revealing this story. For all of these reasons, I will forever be in her debt.

  So many others were involved in the creation of this book. I still can’t believe that this very talented group at the top of their industry became my team, each helping to pull the stars into alignment for this book.

  Emma Parry, our agent at Janklow & Nesbit. Emma, thank you for your calm guidance through the many, many drafts and versions—and for championing our story with such unwavering focus and dedication.

  Hannah MacDonald, our editor at September Publishing. You saw the potential in my mother’s story at a very early stage and gave us the opportunity to develop this book. Without your vision, the title you gave us, and your careful guidance throughout, we might never have found our way forward. Thank you for all your patience, hard work, and insight.

  Charles Spicer, our editor at St. Martin’s Press. Charlie, your belief in our project and your sensitivity and skill in bringing it to fruition have been a true gift to us. It was your conversation with Eve in 2012 that set her on the path of her Barbizon research, so it felt only right that the book should find its U.S. home with you at St. Martin’s. Thank you for all the care you have taken with this project.

  Thank you to our extraordinary publisher at St. Martin’s, Sally Richardson, associate editor April Osborn, publicist Rebecca Lang, marketing manager Nancy Sheppard, marketing team leader Brant Janeway, William Rhino, assistant marketing manager, copy editor India Cooper, proofreader Kenneth Diamond, designer Kathryn Parise, production editor Elizabeth Catalano, and jacket designer Danielle Fiorella. At September, our thanks are also due to Charlotte Cole in editorial and Sue Amaradivakara in publicity.

  Many thanks to our audio team: Mary Beth Roche, Laura Wilson, Robert Allen, Brisa Robinson, Samantha Edelson, and Margo Goody.

  Kelly Shetron. Thank you for supporting this project from proposal stage through the early drafts when you sat for hours on the phone, helping us to pull together our research and stories.

  Domenica Alioto. Thank you for your kindness, and for being a trusted sounding board at all stages of this book.

  Writing The Bridesmaid’s Daughter has been an amazing, challenging, and emotional journey that wouldn’t have been possible without the invaluable guidance and loving support of so many others along the way. These wonderful people opened their hearts and welcomed me into their worlds, willingly giving of their time and sharing their intimate memories of my mother. Each successive interview served to reaffirm my own beliefs about my mother: that she was a beautiful woman who should not be defined by her struggles, but rather by her success as a model and kindness as a person.

  Judy Balaban Quine. Thank you for your book, The Bridesmaids: Grace Kelly, Princess of Monaco, and Six Intimate Friends. I often pick it up to read passages, and it has long been a bible to me, providing vital insight into my mother’s past. Meeting with you and having subsequent conversations about this project has been enormously helpful. Knowing that you understood my reasons for wanting to tell this story, that we shared a passion for mental health advocacy, has brought me great personal strength. Many thanks also to bridesmaids Sally Richardson, Bettina Thompson, and the late Rita Gam.

  I feel so lucky to have met and interviewed some of the most successful models of the 1940s and ’50s while working on this book. My mother was one of the very first Ford models, so she joined an elite group of women who set the standard for beauty and poise during that era. Tippi Hedren shared her memories of working with my mother, and knowing how much fun they had together has brought me so much joy. In addition, Helen Ryan, Lorraine Davies, Millie Perkins, Bettie Johnson (and her husband, Don Murray), Lois Heyl Jewell, and Iris Bianchi Ory all provided valuable insights and perceptions of my mother and the industry.

  Susan Link Camp and Patti Sicular. It would not have been possible to connect with my mother’s peers without your help. Your work to honor the models of the 1940s and ’50s is an inspiration to me. You included me at your model reunion luncheons, giving me the o
pportunity to meet women my mother had worked alongside and several of their daughters. I am deeply grateful for your help with my research, and for the many introductions to countless important resources, photographer’s foundations, and archives. Susan, you graciously offered to share your vast collection of vintage fashion magazines with me so I could fill the gaps in my mother’s career. For a period of six months, you shipped several vintage magazines at a time from California, which allowed me to take photographs before sending them back to you.

  Another special experience was meeting model daughters Andrea Derujinsky (Ruth Neumann), Dinah Dillman Kaufman (Suzy Parker), Nelly Gimbel (Elinor Rowley), and Anna Murray (Patsy Shally). While I wasn’t able to meet the fashion photographers my mother knew—as so many of them had already passed—I had the honor of connecting with two of their daughters: Pam Barkentin, daughter of George Barkentin, and Andrea Derujinsky, whose mother was a model and whose father was the photographer Gleb Derujinsky. Andrea, I am so grateful to call you my friend. It was shortly after we had met and bonded over lunch that I realized one of my favorite photos of my mother was taken by your father. I had gone to the New York Public Library to identify a few photos when I saw his name. I immediately texted you to let you know, and a tearful exchange ensued.

  Eileen Ford. I am eternally grateful to Eileen for her role in my mother’s success, and her help with my own career as a model. The afternoon I spent with Eileen toward the end of her life, when she shared memories of my mother, is one I will never forget.

  Robert Lacey. Thank you for your kind support of this book. Your biography of Eileen Ford, Model Woman, is such a treasure to me. It’s given me such insight into what my mother’s life was like as a model. I was so moved and honored to see her remembered in the book as one of the top models of the 1940s and ’50s.

  Reconnecting with my mother’s family has been such an important part of the journey. As a result, I feel as though I have truly met my family for the first time, and have made friends for life who have enriched me in so many ways. I am thankful to my cousin Tracy Hosfelt, my initial point of contact with the family, who reached out to me on Facebook in 2012. Tracy, thank you for sharing your photographs, memories, and insights, for meeting with us when we came to Steubenville, and for reconnecting me with my mother’s cousin Sandra Hart.

  Sandra Hart. It has been such a joy having you in my life. You’ve helped me understand who my mother really was, that she was truly a good person. A special gift along the way has been meeting your son, Emerson Hart, and your daughter, Brett Thompson. Emerson is the lead singer for the band Tonic—I had always loved Emerson’s music, and it has been so wonderful to get to know him, to meet his family, and to go to his concerts. Your family truly understands the heartbreak mental illness brings, and having your support has meant a huge amount to me.

  I am so grateful to my uncle, Terry Hosfelt, for sharing many photos and connecting me with my mother’s cousins Patricia and Jacqueline.

  Patricia James and Jacqueline Bendure. You shared so many wonderful memories of my mother as a young girl, and your love for her is so clear. I simply would have had no other way to have such incredible insight into her childhood and past. The time we spent together will forever be a treasured memory.

  I’m thankful to have been in touch with Bill Kirkpatrick, Joyce Lee, and Donna Hosfelt. I’m also so grateful to have connected with Bobbi Baur, daughter of my mother’s late half sister, Terri, and Bobbi’s father, Jim Baur. Bobbi and Jim, thank you for sharing Terri’s notes on my mother.

  The City of Steubenville. Thank you for making my mother your Sesquicentennial Queen all those years ago. It gave her a chance to pursue her dream of modeling. A warm thank-you to Charlie Green and Michael Giles for making our day at the Jefferson Historical Society in Steubenville so special. I’m so appreciative of the materials about my mother that you have preserved and shared with me, along with important contributions to the collection from Bill Croskey. Thank you to Rex Tate for being the driving force behind the 2008 tribute to my mother. Thank you to Dave Gossett from the Steubenville Herald Star who wrote an article explaining that I was looking for people who had known my mother, which helped me to connect with a number of her friends.

  My mother’s friends in Steubenville: Dottie Bossert, Jane McHugh Noltemeyer, Kay Gosseye, John Criss, and Nancy Peterson. Thank you for sharing your memories and your insights.

  The organizers of the exhibit From Philadelphia to Monaco: Grace Kelly Beyond the Icon at the Michener Museum of Art. I feel so fortunate to have attended your “Last Look” event, where I was able to see photographs and artifacts from the royal wedding, and where I had a chance to meet Grace’s nephew Chris Levine, who was so helpful prior to my trip to Monaco.

  Profound thanks are due to Prince Albert of Monaco and the staff at the Prince’s Palace of Monaco, including Christine Sprile, Christel Brizi, Yasmin Zagoni, and Marina Matkova. Thank you so much for our VIP private tour; we so enjoyed learning about the wonderful history of the palace. Thank you to Thomas Fuillerion and Olivia Oantoni at the palace archives for the materials you shared with us—it was a special pleasure to see the original seating plan for the cathedral wedding, including my father’s name. Thanks also to Geraldine Byrne at the Princess Grace Irish Library in Monaco for her kind assistance.

  Researching this book has given me a new appreciation and renewed respect for libraries and librarians. Thanks to their collections I have been able to document my mother’s eight-year modeling career via photographs from scores of magazines. I spent months visiting libraries across the country, scouring stacks of bound volumes containing fragile vintage magazines, their yellowed pages providing a window into another world. I would turn each page deliberately, and sit back when I stumbled on yet another image of my mother, knowing how an early prospector must have felt upon finding a nugget of gold. Special thanks to the Gladys Marcus Library at FIT, the Metropolitan Museum of Art Library, the New York Public Library, the Temple University Library, the Jefferson County Library Sciappa Branch (thank you to Sandy Day for sending so many articles from my mother’s past), and the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C. (thank you to Cheryl Adams). And to all the magazine collectors on eBay! Thank you for respecting the past and not throwing out those old editions. My collection includes more than eighty magazines featuring my mother; they are treasures to me, and I would not have them otherwise.

  Fred and Margarite Franitza, who bought the house on Long Island from my parents. Thank you for welcoming me into your home over the years. Revisiting the Dream House helped trigger many important memories from my youth.

  Lloyd Harbor Elementary School. Thank you to Celia McGann for helping arrange my visit, and to Phil Gray, assistant principal, and Valerie Massimo, principal, for taking the time to speak with me. Thank you to Annette DiPietro for the school records. Your students are lucky to have such a devoted staff and beautiful environment in which to learn and grow. Visiting the school was incredibly helpful—it brought back some important memories and gave me some much-needed closure.

  Fay Krupski. I’m so thankful for your friendship during my childhood years. I’m equally grateful that I was able to speak with you during the process of writing this book.

  The Cold Spring Harbor High School Reunion. It was wonderful to reconnect with friends from middle school, including Diana Stusvick, Gail Calumet, Kristin Hamlin, and Jeff Springsteen. Through Facebook I was able to connect with many of my sister Robin’s friends, including Donna Wellman, Claudia Wellman, and Jean Williamson Carter.

  My father’s friends Roger Yussain, Ross Muerer, Diahn and Tom McGrath, and Jan Royal. Thank you for your valuable insights.

  Chendo Perez. We met at a time when I desperately needed to be part of a family and have someone to love. Thank you for sharing your memories of my mother and of our time together while I was researching this book.

  Skip Denenberg. You were such an important part of my sister Robin’s life and like a bro
ther to me all those years ago. It means the world to me that we have reconnected.

  Ruthie Berman. Thank you for being such a good friend to Robin and for sharing your memories of her.

  A special thank-you to Haven, Ted, Gil, and Wil Colgate for including me in their mother Marlene’s eightieth birthday celebration on the same beach where we used to play as children. I am grateful that I was able to spend time with Marlene.

  To the people who took care of my mother along the way, I wish I could personally thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart. There was a family of helpers out there, even if I didn’t always know it at the time.

  Thank you to social worker Susan Goodman, who worked with my mother at the Park Avenue Armory, for deepening my understanding of my mother during her years there.

  I am so grateful to the nurses at Medford Multicare, Brookhaven Hospital, and Sachem Adult Home for the loving care my mother received while she was there.

  I thank the many women and mentors who filled the holes my mother left behind.

  My dear friend Stephanie Schwartz. Thank you for listening to me daily as the story unfolded, encouraging me every step of the way, and for connecting me with so many important people. Shortly before Eve contacted me, I had made a very impassioned post on Facebook honoring Bill Barnes, a hero to me. (Bill is the executive director of the Clearview School, a school for emotionally disturbed children that my daughter attended for eleven years and where I had also served as vice president.) This post prompted you to call me and encouraged me to pursue my passion of mental health advocacy. You connected me with Audrey Brooks at the Mental Health Association of Westchester, an organization that has become an inspiration to me.