All I Want Is You (Forever and Ever Book 1)

by E. L. Todd

  “Okay…”

  “Our time together has come to an end.”

  Her breathing increased slightly and moisture built up in her eyes. “Why?”

  “I just found out that Skye has feelings for me. And you know how I feel about her… If there’s any chance I can make it work, I have to take it. I know being with her ends my time with you, but…that’s what my heart wants.”

  She nodded slowly then blinked her tears away. “Well, I’m happy for you.”

  I didn’t believe her but I didn’t say it. “I’m sorry, Jasmine. I think you’re a beautiful girl with a lot to offer. We had a lot of great times together. But my heart is meant for someone else.”

  “I know.” She blinked her eyes again, holding back the flood of tears.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So, she told you this? You already spoke to her?”

  “No. Slade told me. I haven’t seen her yet. I wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Oh…”

  I pulled a strand of hair from her face then tucked it behind her ear. “I wish things were different.”

  “Me too.”

  I pulled her close to me and looked her in the eye. “You’ll find someone much better than me.”

  “I doubt that.” Her voice came out as a whisper.

  I didn’t have a response to that. “I guess I should go…”

  “Cayson?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I have one more thing?”

  “Anything.”

  “Could you…hold me for a moment before you go?”

  Her request went straight to my heart. “Of course.” I pulled her into my arms and held her close to me. She rested her head against my chest, her hair covering her face. She was breathing hard, trying not to cry. Her arms circled my waist, holding me close. I let her have her moment, knowing this was hard for her. I never meant for her to get so attached to me. She understood the parameters of this relationship but that didn’t mean she didn’t get too close to the fire.

  When she pulled away, she wiped the tears from her face, unable to hold them back. “If it doesn’t work out…and you find yourself alone in the world…please call me.”

  Even after what I was doing to her, she still wanted me. I couldn’t believe it.

  “Because the way you feel about Skye…is the way I feel about you.” She gave me one final look before she walked into her bedroom and shut the door.

  I stood there, feeling hollow and empty. I was an asshole for doing this to her, for making her fall in love with me when I knew I could never return that emotion. I hated myself for it.

  I left her apartment then walked down the stairs. When I reached the end, I stopped. The girl of my dreams was sitting at her apartment, not knowing I was about to head over there and confess my every thought and feeling. But that felt wrong.

  I was with Jasmine for months. I may not have loved her, but she was important to me. It felt wrong to rush to the girl I really wanted, abandoning the first one. It was like she didn’t matter even though that wasn’t true.

  I sat on the last stair and thought about my time with Jasmine. I grieved for the end of our relationship, cherishing the laughs and good times. There was nothing wrong with her. She had a body that caught the attention of every guy. She had a smile that would make most men weak at the knees. She was a joy to be around, making me smile even when I thought it wasn’t possible.

  Snow started to fall outside, drifting quietly to the ground. My breath came out as vapor, and I felt the coldness every time I inhaled. But I stayed there, sitting in the darkness and listening to the silence of the world. I didn’t want to forget about Jasmine and the relationship we had. I knew in my heart I could have fallen in love with her if I wasn’t already in love with someone else.

  When an hour passed, I rose and headed to my car. I was ready to seize the moment, to take what I’d wanted all my life. I was ready to be with the girl I’d wanted for years. No longer would I just be her friend, her family. I would be something more.

  Something I was meant to be.

  ***

  After I knocked on the door, she didn’t answer. I knocked on it again but there was no response. Snow had settled on my shoulders and it was melting into the fabric. Her car was in the lot, buried under a foot of snow. I knew she hadn’t come or gone for several hours.

  I took out my key and walked inside. She was probably avoiding me, but I wasn’t going to let her.

  When I walked in, she was sitting on the couch. She looked at me with pain in her eyes. She stood up and let the blanket fall to the ground. She wore a t-shirt and sweatpants. Her face was free of make up, but I preferred the look. She was beautiful no matter what she wore or how she painted her face.

  I went further into her apartment, my hands by my side. I didn’t say anything, waiting for her to acknowledge me, to speak.

  She walked around the couch, her arms crossed over her chest. She was cut off from me, keeping her distance. “Can I help you with something?” Her voice was lifeless, like she didn’t care I was there.

  “I just wanted to talk.”

  She leaned against the back of the couch, hardly looking at me. “About what?”

  I stared her down, examining her face and the darkness in her eyes. I waited for her to look at me, to see the emotion in my face. I waited until she finally turned. When she met my gaze, she looked away again.

  “Look at me.”

  She flinched at my words then turned back to me, her eyes guarded.

  “You know why I’m here.”

  Her eyes widened slightly then her pupils dilated. Now she was tenser, more guarded. “I really don’t.”

  I took another step toward her, my shoulders square and my hands clenched. My heart was beating dangerously fast, and my palms were sweating. I hid the unease in my heart. I wanted her so much that I wanted to grab her and never let go. I was holding back, not letting my heart take over. There was still a possibility that Slade was wrong. “I broke up with Jasmine.”

  Her chest suddenly rose at my words, expanding. A small explosion happened in her eyes. It disappeared as quickly as it happened. “Why?”

  I came closer to her, invading her personal space. When I reached her, I noticed her breathing increased. Her arms tightened across her chest. She looked away, like she was nervous or scared. I never had this affect on her before. “You know why, Skye.”

  She took another deep breath then squirmed under my gaze. “I do?”

  I stepped in front of her, my face closer to hers. Then my hands moved to the couch on either side of her, boxing her in. “Yeah.”

  Unable to move, she stared up at me. She lowered her hands to her sides but she was still distant with me.

  “Do you love me, Skye?” I stared into her eyes while I said it, caring more about her reaction than her actual response.

  “Do you love me?”

  “I’ve loved you my whole life.”

  She took a deep breath then her eyes developed a coat of moisture. Her eyelids fluttered, trying to hide her emotion.

  “It’s always been you. I never thought you would feel the same way. I assumed I was just your brother, your friend. Every time I looked at you, you looked back at me with a friendly expression. I dreamed one day that would change. Because I honestly believe you and I are destined for something more, that we are amazing friends but we would be much greater lovers.”

  She breathed hard while she stared at me. “Did you love her?”

  “Never. I told Jasmine how I felt about you from the beginning. She understood the relationship was only temporary. I was desperately trying to get over you. Every time I saw you with Zack, I wanted to die. I hated it. Not only did I think he was a jerk, but I hated knowing you preferred him over me. With me, you’ll never know pain. With me, you’ll only know joy.”

  She blinked several times but the tears couldn’t be denied. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize how I feel. I guess I’ve alwa
ys felt this way…I just never realized it until now.”

  “That was what I always hoped for.”

  “So…would you be willing to try…with me?”

  I smirked slightly. “I’ll do more than try. This is the end of the road for me. I don’t need to date you to know you’re the only woman for me. I don’t need to spend a lifetime with you to know I’m going to grow old with you.” Courage filled my veins and I rested my hand on her cheek. “You’re mine forever, Skye. I’m not letting you go.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  “I can’t believe this is happening. I have to remind myself it isn’t a dream.”

  “Me too…”

  I wanted to kiss her, to feel my lips against hers and know she was mine. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “What?”

  “When you were at that frat party months ago, I carried you home. After I tucked you into your bed, you told me I was a better man than Zack was, that I made you happy in a way he never did. And then you kissed me.”

  Her eyes widened. “I did?”

  “You kissed me for a long time. Then you took off your clothes and pulled me to you. Do you remember any of it?”

  Her eyes became lost as she tried to recall the memory. “I guess vaguely…did we sleep together?”

  “No. But that was our first kiss.”

  “Is that why you were so distant with me afterwards?”

  I nodded. “I thought that was the beginning of our relationship. When you didn’t remember it, I felt hurt.”

  Her eyes softened. “I’m so sorry, Cayson. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “I know you didn’t. But I guess I should have known that you loved me—even then.”

  “I think I did.”

  “You don’t remember our first kiss, but I’ll make sure you remember this one.” I cupped her face and closed the distance between us. When my mouth touched hers, I felt alive. My entire body burned in flames. My lips ached from the overwhelming touch. She sighed and moaned into my mouth, feeling the same chemistry I did. She was drunk last time so it could have been a fluke. But this time was even better.

  She gripped my shoulders while she deepened the kiss, wanting more of me than I could give. She sucked my bottom lip then let it go free. Then she crushed her mouth against mine again, barely letting me breathe.

  My hands gripped her waist and I clung to her, holding her tightly. She was so small in my hands. I felt like a giant in comparison. I couldn’t believe I was actually kissing her…and she was kissing me back.

  “I love you.” She said it while she breathed into my mouth, clutching me.

  “And I love you, Skye.” I pushed her against the couch and pressed my chest against hers. Warm tears moved down her face and to our lips. I could taste the salt, feel her emotion. I couldn’t believe she loved me in the way I loved her, with the same intensity and longing.

  I grabbed her then lifted her from the ground, carrying her to her bedroom down the hall. She kept kissing me, not breaking her stride. When I lay her on the bed, I moved over her.

  She looked up at me with emotion in her eyes. Her hands moved up my chest and to my shoulders. She dug her fingers into the muscle, feeling me for the first time. The look in her eyes was different. She didn’t look at me like I was her friend. Her longing was evident, and so was the love. My hands trembled just from looking at her.

  I couldn’t believe this was real.

  “Stay with me this weekend,” she whispered, running her fingers through my hair.

  “I was going to whether you invited me or not.”

  “Good.” She pressed her lips back to mine and kissed me. “Because I’m never letting you go.”

  I spent the evening fulfilling my greatest fantasy. I kissed her on her bed, touching her and feeling her touch me. Our hearts beat as one, and for the first time, I felt whole, complete. She was what I’d been missing. She was what I needed. She was my soul mate, my other half. And now I was hers.

  ***

  “Don’t leave.” She pulled me back from the door. “Stay with me.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

  It was hard not to melt into a puddle on the ground. “Skye, I have to go.”

  “No…” She grabbed my bottom lip and sucked.

  “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’ll tell you when I get back.”

  She growled then kissed me again. “Then please hurry.”

  “Believe me, I will.”

  She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me close. “I guess I could take a nap. We haven’t been sleeping much.”

  I smirked. “Good idea, baby.”

  “Will you sleep here tonight?”

  “I’ll be here every night—as long as I’m welcome.”

  “You have a key, don’t you?”

  “I do.” I cupped her face and kissed the corner of her mouth, tasting her freckle. “Get some sleep.”

  “Okay. Hurry home.”

  “I will.” I kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back before you know it.” With one more look at her, I walked out then got into my car. Then I hit the road, driving in the snow.

  Two hours later, I pulled up to the house. The sky was overcast so it was dark. The lights from the windows were bright. I knew they were home because I could see light from the TV through the window.

  I sighed then walked to the door and knocked.

  A second later, Uncle Sean opened it. “Cayson? What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to speak to you.”

  Concern came into his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes. Everything is fine.”

  Aunt Scarlet came to the door. “Hello, Cayson. Would you like to come in?”

  “Sure.” I stepped inside and they both stared at me.

  “What’s this about?” Uncle Sean asked.

  I looked at Aunt Scarlet. “Can I have a moment alone with my uncle, please?”

  “Sure. I’ll be upstairs.” She patted her husband’s shoulder before she disappeared.

  Uncle Sean stared me down, waiting for me to speak. He was always warm around me, but now he was on his guard. I didn’t blame him. I knew he didn’t like surprises. Everything needed to be under his control. I sincerely hoped this would go over well because his approval was important to me.

  “I’ve been in love with your daughter for longer than I can remember. Her smile is something I live for and her warmth keeps the cold away. She’s my best friend in the world. I respect her and love her fiercely. I came here today to ask for your permission to date her. I promise to take care of her and treat her with nothing but respect. I won’t let you down. Your blessing would mean a great deal to me.”

  His eyes softened while he stared at me. He pressed his lips together tightly before he loosened them. “Cayson, you’re like a son to me. There’s no one I’d rather have for my daughter. And you honor me by asking for my permission. That means a lot to me.”

  I released the air I was holding in my lungs.

  “But I have to ask one thing.”

  “Okay.”

  “Are you still with that girl?”

  “No. I broke up with her before I told Skye how I felt. She’s the only one for me, sir.”

  His eyes softened again. “It’s Uncle Sean. Don’t ever call me anything else.”

  “My apologies.”

  He gripped my shoulder then pulled me in for a hug. “You’re too young to understand this, but when you become a father someday, you will. Making sure your daughter is with the right man is something that will consume you and terrify you. All I want is the best for my baby girl. The fact that she chooses you makes my life a million times easier.” He pulled away and smiled at me. “Please marry her.”

  I was speechless. I knew my uncle loved me, but I didn’t realize how much he respected me. He was practically giving me his daughter without any fear. He trusted me with s
omeone he loved more than anything. “I intend to.”

  Uncle Sean turned toward the stairs. “Baby, come here.”

  Aunt Scarlet came down the stairs. “The men are finished?”

  Uncle Sean put his arm around her. “Cayson asked for my permission to date Skye.”

  Aunt Scarlet’s face broke out in a smile. “That’s absolutely wonderful.” She came to me and hugged me. “I always hoped my daughter would find a man good enough for her father.”

  “I don’t know about that,” I said with a laugh. “But I’ll do my best.”

  She cupped my cheek. “You are the best, honey.”

  My cheeks blushed at their wonderful praise. “Thank you. I should probably get going before it gets too dark.”

  Uncle Sean patted my shoulder. “Good idea. Drive safe.”

  “I will.”

  Aunt Scarlet kissed my cheek. “We’ll see you soon.”

  I left the house then got into my car. They stood on the porch and stared at me until I left their driveway. Then I hit the road and tried to get back to Skye as quickly as possible.

  ***

  When I walked in the door, she jumped into my arms. “You’re home.”

  I laughed when I caught her. “You missed me?”

  “Like crazy.”

  I rubbed my nose against hers. “I missed you like crazy too.”

  “Now will you tell me what you were up to?”

  “I will. I went to see your father.”

  She flinched. “Why?”

  “To ask his permission to be with you.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That he couldn’t have picked a better guy.”

  Her eyes softened. “My father loves you, Cayson.”

  “I know. I just didn’t realize how much until now.”

  She held me close. “I can’t believe you drove all the way there just to ask him.”

  “You aren’t just some girl, Skye. You’re the one. And I want to do this right.”

  She pressed her forehead to mine. “You did.”

  I held her in the doorway, feeling her petite size in my arms. It was hard for me to understand she was real. I’d dreamed of this intimacy, dreamed of her touch, and now I finally had it. She was mine.

  And I wasn’t going to let her go.