by Devney Perry
“I’m sure you would be but I can at least keep you company. My mom’s down the hall anyway. I was going to stick around while she rested,” I lied.
She shrugged and I took it as my invitation to pull up the metal guest chair and sit at her side.
Three hours later, Khloe was in a cast and leaving the emergency room.
“Can I drive you home?” I asked.
“I can make it. Thank you, though. And thank you for sitting with me.”
“You’re welcome.” I faked a smile and waved before walking outside with my foul and angry mood.
Khloe had been nearly silent as Dr. Faraday set and casted her arm. No screaming or crying. She hadn’t even winced. Either she was the toughest person on the planet or she was no stranger to pain.
The longer I’d sat by her side, the angrier I had become. Both the doctor and Gigi had offered to call her husband but she’d adamantly refused. Every time Derrick’s name had been mentioned, Khloe had shrunk further and further into the hospital bed.
And it hadn’t just been me that noticed either. Gigi’s eyes had found mine a couple of times and we’d shared a knowing look.
Something was going on in the Olson house and I was going to find out what. Khloe needed a friend and I was volunteering for the job. I’d prove to her that I wasn’t the mean girl from our childhood. It wouldn’t be easy, but the best friendships in my life had always been the ones that I’d worked hard to build.
And to keep.
“Thanks for meeting me,” I told Silas after handing my menu to our waitress at the café.
“Sure,” he said.
My fingers laced together on my lap so I couldn’t drum them on the table. For the last two days, since our encounter at the hospital, I had been mentally practicing my apology, but being prepared was doing nothing to settle my nerves.
“So, um, I’ve been thinking a lot about everything that’s happened. About us. We haven’t ever talked about it and I guess I thought maybe we should.”
He shook his head. “It’s in the past. Let’s leave it there. I see no reason to open old wounds.”
“Not even if it helps them heal?”
“Is that what you need?” he asked. “To hash it all out?”
“No, I guess not. But I want to apologize. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
He stared at me for a long moment before looking to the table and fidgeting with his napkin-wrapped silverware. “It took me a while to get over it, but I understand why you left.”
“You do?”
“You were eighteen and gearing up to start your life. Your boyfriend was a junkie. Stuff between us got real complicated, real fast. You got spooked. I think most people in your position would have done the same thing.”
No one had ever understood me as well as Silas. I shouldn’t have been shocked that he’d guessed at how I had been feeling back then.
“Thank you for understanding. I’ll always regret leaving the way that I did and for being too much of a coward to admit that I was scared. I should have tried to tell you that years ago, but I was too busy being stubborn and trying to prove myself in the city. I was too afraid to come back and face everyone. My apology is long overdue.”
My fears had driven me out of Prescott and kept me away. I had been terrified of coming back to Prescott. I had been scared of a confrontation with Wes. Mostly I had been scared to see that Silas had moved on with someone better. Someone that would never hurt him like I had.
Silas shook his head. “I’ve never met anyone that’s as hard on themself as you are.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. Maybe not.
Our waitress came over with our cheeseburgers and provided a welcome end to our serious conversation.
“Tell me about your life,” I said as we ate. “What have you been doing these last sixteen years?”
Our hookups over the last couple of years hadn’t been overly chatty, so we basically had a decade and a half to catch up on. I was curious what his life had been like.
“Really? You want to know?” he asked.
“Really. Don’t friends know stuff about one another’s lives?”
“I guess friends do.”
Why did he keep doing that, drawing out the word “friend”? This truce was just as much his idea as mine, so he could be a little more positive.
“You go first,” he said.
“It hasn’t been all that eventful. I drove from here to Seattle. Found a small community college and got my degree. Started working for a software company after school and I’ve been with them ever since. This summer I decided that Seattle wasn’t for me anymore and came home.”
“That’s it, huh?”
“In a nutshell. Now enough stalling. It’s your turn.”
“I went into the army. Stayed for ten years. Came home. Picked back up with work on the ranch.”
“Ten years is a lot more than the three or four you had planned. What happened?”
“September eleventh,” he said.
Right. “Were you deployed to the Middle East?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Did three tours in Iraq.”
“Thank you for your service.”
He nodded again and went back to his meal.
“Does it bother you to talk about?”
“Not much anymore. The first couple of years back home were the worst but I worked through it. I try to keep in touch with the guys from my squad and talk to them when it gets to me.”
“I’m glad you have them.” I didn’t push for more details of his army life. If he wanted to talk to me about that time, I’d be happy to listen, but for now, I was just grateful that he had been willing to serve and that he had come home safely. “What’s new on the ranch?”
“Things at the ranch are hectic.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Gus Johnson, our hired man, fucked up his back again so he’s pretty much out of commission. I have no idea how I’m going to get all of the calving and spring work done one man down.”
“Is there anyone else around you could hire?”
“Yeah,” he huffed, “but Dad’s being picky. I get his reasoning. He’d rather find the right guy than the right-now guy, but since he’s dragging his feet, I’m probably going to end up doing it all myself.”
“I, uh, don’t know anything about ranch work, but I’d come and help you. I could do the easy jobs that no one else wants. Cleaning or whatever.”
His french fry stopped in midair. “Seriously?”
“Wipe that shocked look off your face. I could do it.”
“In your high heels?”
“You’re a comedian. Obviously, I’ll buy some boots first.”
He grinned. “Okay, city girl. I’ll put you to work.”
“Good, then it’s settled. You can have me on weekends this spring.” The second the words passed my lips I wanted to suck them back.
“I can have you on the weekends? I thought you wanted to be friends. Me having you might confuse things, don’t you think?”
My lip curled. “You just couldn’t let that one go could you?”
“Too easy.” He grabbed a fry off my plate and popped it into his mouth. “Did you lose your edge in Seattle? The Felicity I knew before would never have left me that opening.”
“I forgot how quick-witted you are,” I muttered. “I’m going to have to step it up.”
“Yeah you are.” He reached for another fry and I slid my plate across the table so he could finish them off.
Dinner may have started off heavy but I couldn’t have hoped for a better ending. Joking and teasing one another felt warmly familiar. Silas paid, despite my protests, and we walked outside into the chilly November night air.
“Thanks,” I said. “Don’t be a stranger, friend.”
“Uh-huh,” he muttered. “Bye.”
I had just turned to leave when I heard my name called from behind. I knew that voice and cringed. When I spun around, Tyson was strolling down the sidewalk.
You’ve go
t to be fucking kidding me.
I blinked once, then again, hoping that when I opened my eyes, the sight of my ex-boyfriend would have vanished.
Nope. Still there.
I took a few steps to stand at Silas’s side while Tyson approached.
“Surprise, love!” He claimed me in a tight embrace.
I squirmed and pushed out of his arms. “What are you doing here?”
“I told you on the phone that we needed to talk and work this out. I thought it would be easier face-to-face. So I made a huge sacrifice and came to you just to show you that I’m willing to move past our issues.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Had Tyson always been this much of a dumbass? I had been perfectly clear that we were over. Repeatedly. I’d moved to Montana! What else could I do to get it through his thick skull?
“Well, your big sacrifice was unnecessary. I cannot believe you came all the way here from Seattle. We broke up weeks ago. There’s nothing to work out. You cheated on me. Remember? That’s a deal breaker.”
He opened his mouth to respond but stopped when none other than Andrea Merkuso waltzed into our circle.
“Oh, fuck,” I muttered. Silas’s chest started shaking with suppressed laughter.
Andrea took one look at me and her face scrunched up. “Felicity.” She glared at me before turning her gaze to Tyson. Immediately, she started preening. His eyes zeroed in on her large breasts, which were nearly escaping her V-neck sweater.
Eureka!
“Oh, Andrea! I’m so glad you’re here. Tyson just got to town for a visit and I’d love to show him around, but unfortunately, I’ve got to get home to, uh, let my dogs out. Would you mind showing him around a bit? Maybe take him over to the Silver Dollar Saloon for a drink?”
She looked him up and down again, licking her lips at the sight. “Sure,” she said. “I could do that.”
“Tyson?” His eyes snapped from Andrea’s chest to mine, then up to my face. “Would you mind if we delayed our conversation for another day? Andrea is a dear friend from high school. You’ll be in good hands with her tonight.”
A laugh escaped Silas’s mouth and he coughed to cover it up.
“Fine,” Tyson said. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“And I’ll be waiting on pins and needles until then,” I deadpanned.
When they were out of sight, I turned to Silas and smacked him in the arm. “Thanks for all your help.”
He grinned. “You had it well under control. I was just glad I got to watch.”
“I should feel guilty for setting Andrea up with a known womanizer, but I just don’t.”
“Her? I feel bad for him. She’s going to eat him alive.”
We laughed together. “I’m going to escape now before someone else attacks us on the street.”
He waved. “See you later.”
I waved back before walking to my car. The smile on my face stayed there for hours.
Silas
Friends. As much as I had hated that idea a week ago, right now it seemed to be making a whole lot of sense.
Felicity’s apology had been healing. When she’d left all those years ago, it had cut deep. But the lingering pain had disappeared when I’d looked into her eyes tonight and seen regret and sincerity.
Before dinner, I had been ready to press for more. To turn this friendship dinner into a date. But now I was going to pull back.
I was thirty-six years old and this would be my last chance to win Felicity’s heart. I couldn’t risk rushing things and fucking up my chance.
Backing off would give her time to settle into her life here. She’d have the opportunity to plant some roots and to remember that this is where she belonged.
If she wanted to work on the ranch this spring, I’d let her. We’d do this friend thing until then, because once she set foot on the Lucky Heart, I was making her mine.
“If I gave you the entire balance of my 401k, would you move here?” I asked Sabrina.
My best friend started laughing hysterically into the phone.
This had become an ongoing joke between us: me begging her to move from Seattle to Montana, her stubbornly refusing.
“Sorry, lady. Not happening. Didn’t you say that it snowed six inches last night?”
“Shit, I shouldn’t have told you that. It will melt. Winter is not eternal around here.”
“Yeah, it’ll melt in March or April, but it’s only December. I can’t live in a place where the snow sticks for four or five months in a row. Your 401k isn’t big enough to pay for the large winter wardrobe that I’d require to live in Montana.”
“I’m seriously considering finding a new best friend.”
“Uh-huh. You’re stuck with me and you like it.”
She was right. The two of us would be friends forever. When our families eventually committed us to a nursing home, we’d arrange to be roommates.
Sabrina MacKenzie and I had met by chance the first week that I’d moved to Seattle. We had both been shamelessly bribing the owner of a small apartment complex for his last open unit. When we’d figured out that he’d been scamming us both, we’d told him to fuck off and moved in together. She’d been my partner in crime ever since.
We complemented each other. My attitude hadn’t scared her away, and I had bulldozed my way into her vacant best-friend position. She called me on my shit, and because of it, I’d learned to see my attitude for what it was, a defense mechanism. I didn’t need that defense with Sabrina. She saw me for me, and because she’d always have my back, I had found the courage to come home.
If only I could convince her to move to Montana. These phone calls to keep apprised of each other’s lives weren’t enough.
“Working on any cool stories?” I asked.
She was an investigative reporter for The Seattle Times. Her tendency to dig deep had gotten her into more than one dangerous situation in the past but she’d always come out on top. Still, I worried about her pissing off the wrong people one of these days.
“I’ve got something in the works but it’s too early to talk about. How’s work going for you?” she asked.
“Yuck. Next subject please.”
“How is your expedition to apologize to everyone in Montana?”
I rolled my eyes. Like Silas, Sabrina thought I was being overly self-critical. “It’s going fine.”
“What’s happening with that chick from high school? Any progress on finding out what’s going on with her?”
“Khloe. And no, not since I talked to you after Thanksgiving. I called her twice more this week but she didn’t answer.”
“Don’t give up,” Sabrina said. “It might take time for her to trust and confide in you. Besides, you never know. Maybe she really is just accident-prone.”
“She had a black eye two weeks after she broke her arm. My mother is accident-prone and has never had two injuries like that back to back. Something isn’t right.”
Thanksgiving morning, I had run into Khloe at the grocery store. Literally. My cart had slammed right into hers as we’d both rounded the same corner. She had been wearing huge sunglasses but they hadn’t covered up all the purple and blue around her eye and cheek. When I’d asked her what had happened, she’d ignored me and run off in the opposite direction.
“I bet it’s her husband,” Sabrina said. “You said it yourself, he used to beat up his girlfriends in high school.”
“I’m trying not to judge but I have a feeling you’re right.”
“Speaking of injured women, how is your mom doing?”
“Good. I took her into the hospital this week to get her stitches out and we scheduled new tests for the beginning of January. Now we just have to hope there’s something more we can do for her.”
“Any progress on getting her to move in with you?”
“Nope.” Twice I had asked Mom to consider coming to live with me but she had declined my offer without explanation. It baffled me that she was so unwilling to leave that trailer park.
“Has Terrible Tyson called you lately?” she asked.
I smiled. “Not once.” My matchmaking scheme had worked. Tyson and Andrea had become a new item, and rumor had it, she was currently on an extended vacation in Seattle. If Andrea ended up leaving Prescott, Gigi had promised to throw me a parade.
“And Sexy Silas?”
“No nicknames. You haven’t even met him. How do you know he’s sexy?”
“Because you want him, which means he’s sexy.”
“He’s just a friend.”
“Don’t forget who you’re talking to, Felicity Cleary. I can read right through all your friend bullshit. You want more.”
“Maybe,” I sighed. “I don’t know. When I first got back, I thought maybe we could be more but the more time goes by, the more I think there’s too much for us to overcome. I don’t know if we can even manage friendship. A relationship feels . . . impossible.”
It had been three weeks since my dinner with Silas at the café and I hadn’t seen or heard from him since. We had ended the night on such a fun and positive note, I’d been sure that we were making progress. Apparently, I’d been wrong.
“Don’t give up,” Sabrina said.
“Hope at this point would be silly and I’m done making a fool of myself over men. Can we drop this? It’s bumming me out.”
“Fine. What else?” she asked. “I need more. I miss you desperately and these phone calls are barely cutting it.”
“Sorry, that’s all I have to report. And I miss you too. Promise to come visit me soon?”
“As soon as the dastardly snow and ice disappear, I’ll be there.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “Call me next week?”
“It’s a date. Love you, lady.”
“Right back atcha.” I made a kiss-kiss sound and hung up.
Standing from my cozy espresso leather sectional in the living room, I walked to one of the large windows that overlooked my small front yard. The snow we’d gotten last night had blanketed everything and I’d forgotten how peaceful and dreamlike the winters here could be.
“Get to work, Felicity,” I told myself.
It was Saturday and I had planned on catching up on some overdue tasks. Instead, I’d been procrastinating. Work wasn’t giving me the satisfaction it used to. The excitement I used to find from the fast-paced, crazed environment now just felt stressful, which made the hellish hours I’d been putting in miserable.
